"I can't get no satisfaction;
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try
I can't get no...
No, no, no!"
(Mick Jaggar)
A satisfying dish
When I see a well-plated meal with a juicy steak, baked potato, and vegetables, it induces a desire to go further. I would like to smell it, and taste it, but when I've already eaten and have no appetite I'm not interested. If the food doesn't look good, I'm also not interested. However, if I'm really hungry, things that normally wouldn't interest me, suddenly look appetizing. This is where we get many of our "acquired tastes" like sturgeon eggs -- When I caught a female fish I would just clean out the roe into a hole and bury it -- not appetizing.
However, even when I'm not hungry sweet tastes are delicious and I can eat more. People get fat because they are attempting to satisfy their bellies with the most delicious treats and delicacies only to find that they are still hungry. They eat more, destroying their health in the process of trying to fill a need that cannot be filled by food. They often come to the doctor to try to get a pill that will fill the need so they don't have to eat. There are such pills, but they damage the health as much, or worse, than the food they replace.
A beautiful woman
Immature men look on women in the same way as food. We call such women "sex objects" because the objective isn't to get to know and love them, but rather to use them to satisfy an appetite. She looks good, and he's hungry, it seems like a perfect fit. The man then goes to her to find if there is any chance of her filling his need. He talks to her. He is interested in her. He woos her with his wit and charm. She falls for it, and they try to satisfy each others' desires.
The sexual relationship doesn't satisfy when it is for the purpose of filling an appetite. You'll just get the need back again. He doesn't want her, he just wants to use her body in order to fill his needs. He's hungry and needs satisfaction. She looks good, tastes good, and feels good. It seems like it should work. But it never does, just like the "foodie," he can't get no satisfaction.
Also like food, a woman could be beautiful but not even desirable if the man has no desire. I have a friend who is very beautiful in her fifties. When she was young she was "Alice" at Disneyland -- gorgeous! She met and married a very nice young man. He had a very low libido because he was attracted to other men. The only woman that could hold any interest for him was a very beautiful one. Because he wasn't very hungry he mostly wasn't interested, which caused marital problems -- their appetites were at odds.
Riches
Though it seems like it should, money doesn't satisfy. All the wealth in the world, and all the stuff, and all the land, and all the toys, and everything money can buy, like a good meal, only briefly fills a need. The satisfaction is temporary. In order to feel better, more must be obtained. I have a friend who started an online company who was very surprised to find that in spite of having all he could ever want, he wasn't satisfied -- it didn't fill the need. It seemed like still more was necessary. There is no end to the appetite.
The Lord
If your objective is to satisfy an appetite, it will never happen. However, if your objective is to love it is continually satisfying. It's not what you do, or what you have, but rather "why." The objective is the key. It's in the heart. Nobody knows the heart of another. Though two people may be doing the same things, one may have an objective of personal satisfaction while the other has the objective of love. Love is the reason for all things that satisfy. Love is the opposite of selfishness because it requires the sacrifice of personal desires, needs, or appetites. The objective of love changes the exact same effort from night to day.
We always begin with a selfish heart, searching for satisfaction in our own appetites. The heart must be changed from selfish to selfless so we can learn to love. But we don't have the power to change it. It isn't enough to try to change our behavior; "fake it 'til you make it" doesn't really work. We must have a change of heart that comes from the Holy Ghost through our faith in Jesus Christ. When we put our trust in Him and do as He says we learn to love in all ways. We love ourselves by eating to nourish our bodies, we love others by sharing our wealth, and we love our wives by seeking her heart, and sacrificing for her.
Appetite vs. Love
The same person who seeks for riches to fill his own needs can change evil to good by giving up his own needs and seeking the benefit of others -- even while doing the same work. "But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do goodto clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted." (Jacob 2:18-19) The "hope in Christ" changes the heart from evil, giving the "intent to do good," and allowing us to work for the benefit of others. This brings real satisfaction in wealth.
In order to find satisfaction in a relationship, a man must change his objective from her body to her heart. What we all, both men and women, really desire is a connection with the heart. The body is just the token of the heart. In classic love stories the man does all he can to win the heart of his beloved. He goes out to slay the dragon, or rescue her from certain death or other bad situation. It is her heart he wants. He takes time to get to know her. He finds her "love language" and learns to speak it well. He earns her trust with patience. He takes her childishness, but always treats her like a queen. He apologizes for his own childish behavior. He loves her. There is no equality, tit-for-tat, or "what's good for the goose is good for the gander." She is everything to him, and he lives only to give to her, protect her, and provide for her. In time, she learns to trust him, and give her heart to him. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." (Ephesians 5:25) Christ is the example of love.
Even our food choices are affected by love. In order for food to be satisfying the objective must be changed from filling an appetite to being healthy. If we are eating for taste, we will end up unhealthy. The late Jack LaLanne, who maintained a healthy body into his 90's, said "If it tastes good, spit it out!" As a physician I see the terrible effects of eating for taste, and to fill the appetite. I think more than 80% of the health problems I deal with are diet-related. Sometimes I can convince people to change their eating habits and make positive changes in their health, but it's always a battle. The recidivism rate is very high. Those who do not understand the truths of the soul being eternal won't have a reason to sacrifice taste for health. This is how they love themselves, by taking care of their bodies. After explaining what foods were good for the body, the Lord continues, "And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones... And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint. And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them." (D&C 89:18-21)
A mighty change of heart
Jesus changes the heart. There is no other way -- all other changes are temporary, at best. We can try all we like, but we will always be selfish until we turn to the Lord and He changes our hearts in such a way that we are able to see outside of ourselves. Our vision changes. Our hearing changes, our thoughts change, our very nature changes. We are healed from our deafness, dumbness, blindness, and leprosy. We become clean, or "perfect" meaning "complete" or "whole." We are integrated, body and spirit. We are a new person, able to love, and be loved. Life is so good! "Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God." (Moroni 10:32) Only He has the power to change our hearts, bringing perfect love, and true and lasting satisfaction in all we do.
