The Paradox of Exaltation

The greatest paradox of all is aspiring to greatness. Lucifer became Satan because he conspired to be like God:

How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit." (Isaiah 14:12-15)

Ironically, though, we are commanded to seek these same things for which Lucifer was struck down. We are ordered by Jesus Christ to become like God:

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33)

"Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?" (John 10:34).

Paul added,

"And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together." (Romans 8:17)

The most explicit scripture was given by God to Joseph Smith in regards to Eternal Marriage:

"Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them." (D&C 132:20)

So how is it that Lucifer could be fallen because he aspired to be as God, and yet we are commanded to aspire to become like God? Indeed, the whole purpose for our existence is to grow up to become like our Father in Heaven.

It seems the difference between good and evil is not in the object, but the means. We are told, and are sure, that "the ends justify the means." However, this is totally false -- and not only false, but actually the converse is true -- the means justify the ends.

Means and Ends

The end result of what you do can be forgiven, if you learn the lesson from it. Repentance is the process of change. One who is completely outside of the will of God can become a servant to Him only through this process. It requires faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, because it is only through Him that sins can be forgiven. Those who think they can fake or buy their way into Heaven without going through the gate of repentance and baptism will be bounced out. Jesus explains:

"And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." (Matthew 22:11-13)

In other words, if we somehow show up in Heaven unprepared because we get there by some way other than faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, repentance, and baptism, we will be kicked-out. It will be obvious that we don't belong, there's no way to fake it. When one is escorted out of Heaven he is cast into outer darkness, not into another kingdom of Heaven.

It isn't how you end up, but rather how you get there. The process of learning and growth is what creates the ends. You cannot get to Heaven by any other means than doing good. The sacrifice must be made. The lessons must be learned through experience. Each must take the Holy Ghost for a guide through the process. Those who want to take shortcuts may find a way, but, as Lucifer, in the end will not endure.

 

Thus, we can end up with everything, or nothing, depending on the process we go through to get there. Lucifer wanted to force everyone to "be good" by taking away their right to choose. He thought the end result of everyone going back to Heaven would justify this breech of the greatest law of life -- agency. Without choice, there is no life. So, instead of being the hero, he was cast into outer darkness. The ends certainly do not justify the means.

Justified by Him

To aspire to greatness in the Kingdom of God only requires following Him who "marked the path, and led the way." When we do it in the way that He did it, doing the will of God, He can let us into Heaven and make us gods. We become like our Father in Heaven in the same way we become like our father on Earth. We submit to His will and do as He says. Jesus said, "For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me." (John 6:38) We must do as He did.

We cannot breech a single Eternal law and still go to Heaven. If we do break a law of God, or disobey even once, we are unworthy, unfit, and unprepared to be with Him. This is the miracle of what Jesus Christ has done for us. Through His awesome atonement we are able to repent of all our sins and still return to God. Not only that, we are able to be received into Exaltation and become like our Father in Heaven. We cannot justify ourselves, we must go through Him. It is the wonderful Atonement that allows us to choose, make errors, correct those errors and be washed clean again.

Becoming Great

The choice is to live or die. Actually, life requires that we aspire to greatness! Those who aren't exalted die, or end. They are no longer growing. They are damned, meaning "stopped." Jesus tells us that "strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." (Matthew 7:14) The paradox is that if we look to become great as a leader, telling others what to do, or not do, we lose the possibility. The true way to leadership is just the opposite -- it is to be humble and to serve others.

"Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:4)

"But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant." (Matthew 23:11)

Greatness comes from submission and service because everyone is free to choose. Nobody can be forced in the slightest degree, if so everyone will cease to obey. A true leader must have influence that is never force. This is where Lucifer lost everything; by removing choice, he removed life . Life is all about agency so true leadership requires humble submission to the agency of others, as well as being able to provide a benefit. The leader must have something others want. God presents a plan to His children and asks them to accept it. The plan is: "If you do what I tell you, I can show you how to become more than you are." Those who don't want to grow simply stay where they are, whereas those who do what He says become greater eternally. Everyone can choose.

Thus, aspiring to greatness, or Eternal Life, requires two qualities:

1. Desire
2. Humility

 The Few

Why do so few find the way to Eternal life? Most choose death out of laziness. "Wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat." (Matthew 7:13) Destruction refers to not fulfilling their purpose. Most of the children of God don't aspire to greatness, and are content with staying as they are. They don't want to change. They don't want to grow. They only want to do as they are told, and be able to rest. They don't want the difficulty of growth nor the pain of leadership. It's a battle they don't want to fight and are thus willing to give up their freedom for security and predictability.

Those who desire greatness, but are not willing to submit their will to God become as Satan, trying to destroy as much freedom as possible. These aspire to greatness in their own way and in their own eyes. They are filled with pride so they refuse to submit to the will of God. "These, having not the law, are a law unto themselves." (Romans 2:14) Thus, they are limited to what they can do by themselves and their coercive tactics. As Satan has ends and boundaries they are blocked by walls as in a prison.

The "few" are those who have both a desire to grow, and are willing to submit to the will of God. If we take God as our Life Coach to teach us each step on the straight and narrow way, and do exactly as He tells us, we end up where He is. The means by which this happens is not by force or by will, but through desire, humility, submission, and obedience. These means justify their end, which is to live forever in the full sense of the word, LIFE. Those who choose life continue to grow, learn, build, reproduce, improve, and add influence. They direct others to do their work. They experience the height of joy, and the depth of sorrow so they feel all things. They know all things so all things are subject to them. When done in the right way, through humility and sacrifice, this is the potential of every person born into this world. Thus, every son and daughter of Adam can aspire to greatness by fulfilling the greatest commandment -- to love God; every child of God can "be like the Most High."

Enjoy the ride!

As children, we go to school and continually fight against the teachers' instructions. Then we grow up and go to work, and, again, fight against our bosses instructions. We seek the advice of tutors, counselors, coaches, and doctors to help us in our lives, and then continually fight against them. I find this all the time. People pay me to tell them what they need to do to be healthy, and they understand and know, but they don't do it. The fight of wills is not only outside us, but inside as well.

The object of life is to be continually in the will of God. Jesus said, "For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me." (John 6:38) If we are to follow Him, we are to do the same. The question comes to mind, how do we know what is the will of God? AAAAHH! There's the rub! Many assume they know the will of God by thinking they know what is right, just, and good. The problem comes when that which seems good, is bad. It may seem good to "take from the rich and give to the poor," but this is stealing. On the other hand, it may seem wrong to sacrifice our business, family, or home. The paradoxical nature of good and evil make our decisions difficult. How, then, can we know the will of God? I think there is an easy way.

Keep the commandments

When a rich, young ruler asked Jesus what he could do to obtain Eternal Life, he was told, "Keep the commandments." The ruler answered, "All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet? Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions." (Matthew 19:20-22)

We also ask, what are the commandments? ...And immediately think of the Ten Commandments, "Thou shalt not..." as the will of God, but this is really a very basic start, like a parent giving a child the simple rules that he must always follow. Beyond these is the ultimate commandment -- to love God. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him." (D&C 59:5) The rich young ruler was not willing to take that step.

Your path of Love

How do we love Him? How do we serve Him? I would submit to you that the will of God is the path of your life. God is in all things. The Prophet Joseph Smith revealed:

"He comprehendeth all things, and all things are before him, and all things are round about him; and he is above all things, and in all things, and is through all things, and is round about all things; and all things are by him, and of him, even God, forever and ever." (D&C 88:41)

All means all, and all is all all means. This doesn't leave anything out. In other words, He is in our lives. He knows all things. He knows the end from the beginning. There is a plan, and that plan is carried out exactly, to the letter. We cannot surprise Him. He will never say, "Gee! I didn't know that was going to happen!" He knows every blade of grass, and every gnat. He knows His children well, and each path is known to the end.

If this is true, then the course of our lives is known by Him, and we are given all we need to be the best we can be. I have always imagined how my life was going to be, and it turned-out to be very different. I have been resisting what I thought was the wrong way. I have thought I was driving a car, but really I am strapped into a roller-coaster ride. I'm thinking, "Left" but the car I'm in is going right so I resist. I want it to stop. I want to rest. I want to back up and take a different road. But, none if this can be. I don't have control.

Doing the will of God, therefore, is allowing what is, to be. It is staying with the roller-coaster car through every twist, turn and loop-de-loop -- and loving it! It is being content with what we are given. It is being grateful for everything. It is praying for our Eternal salvation, and then letting God guide us. We don't do anything. We don't control the car. It's on a track, and God is the switch man. He decides what track we go on next.

The rich, young ruler was not willing to give up his own control and put his trust in God. He didn't do as he was told. To do the will of God, then, is to seek his counsel and simply be willing to do whatever He says. He tells us of Eternal Life, and we decide. We say, "I want that" and ask Him for gifts of the Spirit that will help us on our path. Keeping the commandments is doing exactly as He directs each day of our lives as we go through our journey.

Most of this direction is not a voice or Jesus telling you to "go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor," but rather it is the direction of our roller-coaster car. We are placed in situations where we need to make choices. We feel the need, and do it, then He will switch us to a different track. We let go of our own ideas and begin to understand His. This process happens gradually, over time. "For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have." (2 Nephi 28:30) The rich, young ruler will lose everything he has, sooner or later. But if he chose to do God's will, his track would have been very different!

May I submit that we often do the same? We ask God for gifts, but when we find out the sacrifice required to obtain them, we opt out, or fight against it. We think that it isn't right. But, whatever God does is good -- by definition. When I asked for the gift of charity, and was told to sacrifice my business, family, home, and everything I had built up, I resisted. However, I listened to the Spirit, and eventually gave in. I thought that would be all, but now I find the need to give more. It never ends. Each road we go down is a sacrifice, and a blessing. Jesus said, "And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." (Matthew 19:29) It may feel wrong, but we have to put our trust in Him.

 

We aren't in control. When we try to be in control, we resist the will of God. He is in control. In order to know His will, we need to let go of control and put our trust in Him. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6) When I was young I was afraid of roller-coasters until my best friend, Ronne, told me what his dad told him, "They don't make them to kill people." They are made to be safe, and fun. So, we went on the brand-new Revolution at Magic Mountain, and I immediately wanted to go again. It was exciting! We went four times in a row. By letting go of control, and putting my trust in the creator of the ride, I found it fun. I am a witness that God does direct our paths; indeed, He created the paths we go down. This is His will. There is no need to resist the course of our lives, or try to be in control. Trust in Him. Do His will. Let Him direct your paths. Let go of your own will, and enjoy the ride!

Commiseration vs. Compassion

I never knew pain before. I was numb. Nothing could hurt me. Cold. Singularity. Alone. It wasn't until I married for the second time that I obtained a heart and felt love. A world opened to me that was amazing. A world of lights and colors, of warmth and dimensions. However, with all of that wonderful life came also pain, the pain of a broken heart.

Sarah and I had a rocky start. When Karyn and I announced that we were going to get married four years ago, Sarah, Karyn's daughter, would have none of it. She came home from college to visit, and clearly made it known that I wasn't welcome. She was the only one who didn't come to our wedding. But, it didn't hurt because I was numb to pain. She couldn't hurt me because I didn't care. I thought she was just being childish, and laughed about it.

But over the years we have grown close, and I have come to know and love Sarah. She worked for me, and we had long conversations on our commute to work. I have given her blessings and I have been able to see into her soul. I know how amazing she is. When she got engaged to Weston and they were having trouble getting him accepted into the family, she came to me and apologized for not accepting me right away. I love her, and she loves me. It's good.

However, a few days ago as Karyn and I were talking about wedding plans for Sarah, Karyn tersely stated that there would be no father-daughter dance at the reception in a couple of weeks because Sarah's father wouldn't be there. This was like a knife through my heart. I had a hard time recovering my composure -- it felt so bad! I immediately began to justify my pain. I was angry in my heart. "I can be a dad who pays for her college, mission, and wedding -- but not a dad who dances at her reception." I really love her, and I was being rejected -- again. But this time, it was like being punched in the stomach when you're not looking. I felt so wounded in my heart, deeply. Why did it hurt so much?

Physical pain is easy. There's a wound. You can see it. There is an obvious reason. It looks painful. However, pain in the heart is hidden. Some people use physical wounds to show how they feel inside, and cut, or otherwise hurt themselves physically. Others nurse old wounds for years broadcasting the death of a loved one, a cheating spouse, child abuse, or a serious injury or illness. For me, rejection really hurts, if I care. The reason it hurt the second time, and not the first, is because of love. When we love, we open ourselves to the possibility of pain. We are exposed. I love Sarah so it hurts to be rejected by her.

Before marrying Karyn my heart was closed, cold, and numb, and so was my life. I was protected, and nobody could hurt me. When my first wife wanted a divorce, I was sad for the loss of a dream, but in another way I was relieved, and it didn't hurt. I wasn't angry, and neither was she. After twenty years we still didn't have a heart for each other so our divorce has been easy. Now, I feel like I have an exposed heart. I can get hurt. And when I do, it's easy to become angry, vindictive, and spiteful. In my head I thought of how I'm not even going to show up for the wedding. "Just forget the whole thing. If you don't want me there, then I won't go." I want others to know how much I hurt. In my heart I want to scream -- "OUCH! This really HURTS!" It's easy to start whining and complaining about the pain, but that doesn't help me heal.

Commiseration

Years ago when I was having trouble in my first marriage and life I went to see a psychiatrist for counseling. The first time I drove to his office I had a thought that amazed me, "Someone is going to listen to me!" It was weird. I had never had that experience before. Someone was just going to sit and listen to all my problems. Wow! However, after many sessions I found that I was going nowhere. The complaining just made me feel bad all the time. One morning, while I was driving there I had the distinct impression that I should spend the time in the Temple, instead of with the psychiatrist. I went to his office and announced that this would be our last visit, that I would be going to the Temple every Tuesday morning from now on. That really changed my life. I stopped complaining and started rejoicing. I found joy in serving in the House of the Lord.

If we whine and complain about our pain, it becomes easy to close our hearts and be cold and numb. We become closed, and that prevents us from loving others. In my business I meet every day people who just want to be heard and understood how much it hurts in their heart. They want someone to listen to them. They want others to see or feel their pain, to commiserate, to be understood -- they seek compassion.

Compassion

The literal meaning of compassion is "to suffer with." We ask our friends, family members, or counselors to have compassion on us and feel the pain that is in our hearts, but that is not possible. Nobody can feel your pain. We can really only understand what we have personally felt and commiserate with others. If we have never been in a similar situation, we can't even do that. Mutual complaining feels like compassion, but it's a poor substitute. It's like eating a donut when you're hungry -- it feels like food, but it doesn't nourish the body. Commiserating with others feels like we are understood, but it doesn't really provide what is needed to heal the wound. We continue to hurt. Thus, people sometimes spend their whole lives seeking compassion, but only get more complaints. They never find compassion among their peers, and never heal.

Turn to the Lord

When the Nephites were being attacked by the Lamanites in the Book of Mormon the death count went into the tens of thousands. I don't know what the populations of these people were, but I can imagine that these were significant losses. The Lamanites would come into the cities of the Nephites with the intent to kill them, plunder their stuff, and subject them to slavery. However, the Nephites would put their trust in the Lord, fight like lions, and beat the Lamanites every time. Over a period of six centuries when they won, they would just let the Lamanites go home in peace, and then go back and take care of all the widows and fatherless left by the war. They didn't seek for revenge. They didn't complain to God that they were damaged, instead they fasted and prayed in great rejoicing that their nation was spared -- again -- and then prepared for the next time to defend themselves. Though they were hurt, they didn't complain, get angry, or seek revenge.

The Book of Mormon begins with a story about a family traveling through a desert with many problems such as hunger, thirst and fatigue. They are divided by those with faith in the Lord, and those who complain. God gives us everything we have, including trials, pain, and suffering. When we complain, we murmur against Him. However, He gives us another option. Jesus Christ asks us, "will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you? (3 Nephi 9:13) Those who are converted to the Lord are healed of all their wounds. Our hearts are healed. The pain goes away, and we don't remember it anymore. Jesus explained this concept to His disciples:

"A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world. And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you." (John 16:21-22)

When God heals the heart, there is no way for any mortal to injure us.

Moses tells us the story of Enoch in the Pearl of Great Price. It is worth reading the whole thing, but I'll just give a summary here.

Enoch is taken up to God, and he sees the whole Earth. He notices that God is looking at the people on the Earth and weeping. "And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?" (Moses 7:29) How can the greatest of all be sad and cry? God answers that those people are His children, and He loves them, but He gave them the freedom to choose and they didn't choose Him so they will suffer. He has compassion. He feels their suffering. He knows them intimately. He really suffers with them, and weeps over them.

It is important to note that the Lord is not commiserating with Enoch. In fact, when Enoch understands the suffering of his brethren he also has compassion. "And as Enoch saw this, he had bitterness of soul, and wept over his brethren, and said unto the heavens: I will refuse to be comforted." (Moses 7:44) "but the Lord said unto Enoch: Lift up your heart, and be glad; and look. And it came to pass that Enoch looked; and from Noah, he beheld all the families of the earth; and he cried unto the Lord, saying: When shall the day of the Lord come? When shall the blood of the Righteous be shed, that all they that mourn may be sanctified and have eternal life?" (Moses 7:44-45) The comfort, joy, and good news is that Jesus Christ comes to save all those who mourn, who have pain, and who need comfort.

"Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered." (2 Nephi 2:7) Only the Lord can save us from our sins. Only He can heal our hearts. There is no other way. We can commiserate all our lives, but will never find healing until we come to the Lord and give our broken hearts to Him. He truly has compassion; He will heal all hurts, all pain, and all suffering.

Saints

We therefore do not complain to our peers about our pain and suffering, but rather bring it all to the Lord. Rather than go to counselors or psychiatrists, we come to Him with all our hurts, not to complain that we unjustly suffered and seek revenge and justice, but rather to seek healing with a humble heart, forgiving all those who hurt us -- no matter what! While our associates, family, friends and so forth cannot help us, God truly can comfort us in our sorrows. He can heal any wound. He can make it all better, and allow us to rise up and be happy, joyful, and have peace, no matter how badly we've been injured.

My reaction to rejection is not healthy. Getting angry because of the pain only makes the pain worse, and prolonged. It doesn't help anyone for me to go to Karyn or Sarah and tell them I was hurt, or to be angry with them. The best way to handle the pain of life: loss, rejection, suffering, is to turn to God and humbly thank Him for all the experiences that help us to grow and learn. I only needed to come to the Lord. When I did, He explained to me that Sarah needs a lot more time to get over the loss of her father, and that she is still hurting inside. She would feel disloyal to her father to have me stand in, adding guilt to her pain. He further told me that my position in the family is to be a light, an example, and not to substitute for Eddy. In giving me this knowledge I was comforted. He helped me to understand, and now I can still have an open heart and love her. I'm not angry. The pain is gone, swept away by pure knowledge.

What's more, when we come to know the Lord and find comfort, we can truly help others who hurt. The true followers of Jesus Christ will also "mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." (Mosiah 18:9) Which is how we "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in." (Mosiah 18:9) When we understand the Comforter, then we can bring others to the Lord for comfort. We may speak to them the words of the Lord. We may speak by the power of the Holy Ghost and give them comfort in their sorrows. Thus, we can help each other pass through this "vale of tears" without becoming angry and bitter.

The difference is dramatic. While God Himself weeps for the lost of His children, He rejoices for those who are spared through the sacrifice of His only begotten Son. Those who commiserate with others, justify pain, or become bitter and angry bring only misery to both themselves and others, while those who turn to the Lord are healed and can have compassion, and continue to live, laugh, and love -- in spite of sorrow or suffering.