Time and All Eternity

An earthquake in the Indian Ocean displaces suddenly a huge amount of water near Madagascar, creating a wave that travels across the ocean to distant cities in India, inundating the coast with a tidal wave fifty feet high.  The tsunami travels through the water at a rate of about 500 miles per hour.  This is a limit -- it cannot go faster.  A passenger jet taking off from Madagascar will beat it to the distant shores of India, because it can travel about 100 miles per hour faster.  The time of the tsunami in Madagascar is very different from the one in India, and the speed of the plane allows it to be there for both events.

About ten miles from our house in the Tooele Valley there is an army base which is a weapons depot.  On occasion old ordinance will be disposed-of by exploding it.  When this happens, we will hear the thunder and immediately look in the direction of the sound and see that the smoke from the bomb is already 100 feet in the air.  At about 700 miles per hour, the sound reaches us almost a minute after the actual explosion took place; we always miss it.  This delay creates the perception of time -- the waves of sound energy traveling through the medium of air have a speed limit.

Light is exactly the same, although the medium and energy are different.  The energy waves we call light are disturbances in the photons that fill the Universe, or the "radiation density of space."  As the waves travel through the medium of photons, there is a speed limit, they cannot go faster than "C," or 186,000 miles per second.  It is "C" that gives us our perception of time in the observable Universe.

Timelessness
Eckhart Tolle, in his book The Power of Now, states that time is mental, and escaping from time requires getting outside of the mind and feelings.  All that really exists is now, there is no time.  There is no past, in reality, nor is there a future.  All that really ever happens is now.  We need to get away from our mind in order to see that we are so much more than we can perceive in time.  He says that this process cannot be understood by the mind, but I'm so into my mind, I actually can explain it mentally, even though I don't understand it spiritually because I've never experienced it.

The perception of time comes from the limits of the medium to transmit the wave of energy.  The time of the tsunami in Madagascar is different than the one in India because of the speed of the wave through water.  Light travels much faster than sound so we could see the distant explosion in Utah almost a minute before we could hear it.  Time is the speed limit, and each type of medium creates a different perception of time.

Just as the tsunami traveling through water, sound through air, and light through photons have speed limits, the physical medium of the mind gives our thoughts a speed limit.  Our bodies can think only in time; it is a part of our physical existence, but it isn't the totality of what we are.  Just as the plane can travel faster than the tsunami, and light travels faster than sound, there are spiritual thoughts that exist outside of the medium of the mental, and have instant travel.  The water gives the tsunami limits, but there is more.  There are other media which can travel faster.  Outside of all of these physical media, in a spiritual dimension, there is no medium, and no limits.

Instant travel creates no perception of time because time ceases to exist.  If the wave being propagated through the water had no speed limit, and traveled instantly then the tsunami in Madagascar is exactly the same as the one in India, both corresponding to the instant the earthquake happened.  Space, or distance is irrelevant.  If sound had instant travel we would get to see the fireworks on the other side of the valley when we heard the noise, no matter where we were.  If "C" didn't exist, all our perception of both space and time would be lost.

Our Eternal Nature
Our true, or complete, existence is outside of our brain thoughts, or the mental activities that limit us.  Our true self actually exists outside of the physical media of space and time.  The portion of our life that is physical can easily bog-down the rest of our existence when we are so tied to the physical that we live in our thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and sensations almost entirely.  This causes us to lose ourselves, our true selves.  Nevertheless, we feel like we want to save it, to keep our physical existence as the totality of what we are.  The physical existence is easy for the brain to understand, and comfortable.  In order to come to know our infinite, endless, and eternal nature, we must give up thinking our physical existence is all that exists.

Jesus explained the need to lose ourselves.  "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:25)

Once we get outside of our physical-mental existence there is no speed limit so there is no time.  We are only, and always, in the present.  We exist in eternity.  We exist in the "NOW."  We are timeless, but a part of us, our thoughts still exist in time.  We are paradoxically both in time and in eternity.  Time is part of us, a temporal part in which we are born, but it isn't our total existence.

The Father and the Son
We all have two "I's," the one that does stuff, and the one that wishes to be in control.  When people say, "I wish I didn't do that..." they are acknowledging the two I's: the first is wishing, the other is doing, and they aren't congruent.  The wishing I is the parent, and the second is the child.  All of the things we need, want, do, think, or say that we wish we didn't are the physical I.  The spiritual I is the one that has the executive function.  But, we are so often filled with laziness that we don't take control.  When we let the physical I control the actions of the body, we are letting the inmates run the asylum.  We cannot abdicate our executive responsibility to maintain order in our own selves.

The Scriptures explain this need to subject the physical I to the spiritual I using the example of the Father and Son:

"And because he dwelleth in flesh he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son... And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit, or the Son to the Father, being one God, suffereth temptation, and yieldeth not to the temptation, but suffereth himself to be mocked, and scourged, and cast out, and disowned by his people... Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father."
(Mosiah 15:2-7)

The "Father" represents the parent, spiritual, or executive I.  This is the one in charge.  The "Son" represents the child, flesh, or physical I.  The only way for us to become congruent within our own selves is for the flesh to be subject to the spirit.  The son must be subjected to the father.  The physical must become subject to the spiritual.  There is no other way.

Since the physical self has control of us, the spiritual self is lost, or hidden.  It is always there, but the physical is a veil that clouds our ability to experience our spiritual nature.  We can find our true selves by separating our two "I's," and then bringing them together.

Suffering obedience
The way Christ did it is the only way.  He showed us the way.  We must do as He did.  Jesus Christ had to learn this through his own suffering -- hunger, thirst, fatigue, homelessness, and then pain of body and spirit.  He allowed mocking, whipping, and being disowned.  He even submitted to death.

"Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;" (Hebrews 5:8)

It is our suffering that motivates us to take control through our executive I.  The first step in subjecting the body to the spirit is to allow suffering.  Our executive I can just allow us to feel all the spectrum of feelings without acting on them.  We can be hungry and not eat, or not eat the things we desire that damage the body.  We can feel pain and not lash-out at others, or get angry.  We can allow fatigue and continue on.

The father, or executive I, lets the child, or physical I, suffer.  Loneliness, heartbreak, pain, unfilled desires, and so forth can be observed, and allowed.  Fasting brings hunger, thirst and fatigue.  The parent smiles at the desires of the child, knowing they will eventually be filled.  Postponing gratification of desires is very important.  I don't think being completely Spartan is the greatest benefit, but rather just saying, "wait," and allowing desires to go without satisfaction.

By putting our selves in proper order, and letting the father be in control, and the son be subject to the father we find ourselves.  We lose ourselves, the physical no longer being in charge, but we gain our whole self.  Moreover, when the spiritual I is in control, we no longer suffer.  There is no past, and no future so there is no guilt or anxiety.  We are in the NOW; time no longer exists.  We are eternal, from all eternity, to all eternity, we are part of that God who gave us life.  We are timeless.  This isn't some pie-in-the-sky future, it is now.  It is instant.  It is already there, we only need to access it.

One with God

Rod gives the word, a gate opens, and one of a long line of calves runs out of the chute and into the arena.  He leans forward and Skip, his horse, takes off staying right on the tail of the calf.  Rod has a stiff rope in his right hand over his head.  Skip knows exactly where he needs to be, just on the left haunches of the calf.  Horse and rider are one.  The will of the horse is swallowed-up in the will of the rider.  Rod doesn't even need to give direction, make commands, or use the reins.  The rope is thrown over the head of the calf and immediately the horse halts, pulling hard to get the calf, which weighs three times that of Rod, off-balance and onto the sand.  The horse stays exactly put, keeping tension on the rope as Rod jumps off and wraps a rope around the legs of the calf.  It's all over in less than ten seconds.

There are few things in life as powerful as the experience of unity.  The rider of a well-trained horse experiences the oneness of thinking and having his horse respond.  The horse is trained to be sensitive to every movement of the rider such that it appears to read his thoughts.  A slight shift in weight is enough to speed-up, slow-down, or turn to the right or left.  This experience of unity can be intoxicating.

On the other hand, disunity is frustrating.  As an adolescent I didn't have much experience with horses, and one borrowed horse immediately sensed this so he didn't obey my commands.  He would brush against trees and walk under low-lying limbs to try to get me off.  He would turn to go back to the stalls and pretend I wasn't telling him to turn around.  I finally gave up and let him go back while the others in the group rode on.  I didn't enjoy riding because I couldn't get the horse to do my will.  A horse that will not obey is useless to the rider.

I had occasion to sit in conversation with Monty Roberts, the "horse whisperer," and we were discussing the death of a horse on his ranch.  This man is famous for training horses with body positions and sounds that the horse can understand, and getting even the wildest horses to be tame by speaking to them in their language.  In this case, the horse was shot on his ranch because it wouldn't get into the trailer.  "The horse is useless if he won't go anywhere," he said.

We are sent to Earth from God in order to test our obedience.  Those who will not be obedient to His commands are useless to Him, and will die.  Those who profess to know God, but aren't obedient, are those who will not be saved, and shall be cut off.

"Hearken, O ye people who profess my name, saith the Lord your God; for behold, mine anger is kindled against the rebellious, and they shall know mine arm and mine indignation, in the day of visitation and of wrath upon the nations.  And he that will not take up his cross and follow me, and keep my commandments, the same shall not be saved.  Behold, I, the Lord, command; and he that will not obey shall be cut off in mine own due time, after I have commanded and the commandment is broken."  (D&C 56:1-3)

The process of becoming one
There is an ultimate goal to life of becoming one with God.  I am the horse, God is the rider; He gives commands and I obey.  While I'm in training, the commands are strong, and I'm physically steered in a direction.  I'm given all kinds of guidance to help me to understand -- and this feels restrictive.  However, as I grow to understand God, the directions get quieter and more subtle.  Finally, my will is swallowed up in His, and we are one.  Then I'm truly free.

We may start as strong-willed so the Lord needs to "break" us.  We will go off and do what we want, ignoring the commands of God.  But He is a great trainer.  He has lots of patience, and puts up fences so we don't wander too far.  He then gently guides us to church, or some other training facility to help us to understand His commands.  Some need stronger direction than others, but He never takes away our freedom.  Some will "jump the fence" and head off into the world.  He will go out to find us, but never use force.

"He'll call, persuade, direct aright, And bless with wisdom, love, and light,
In nameless ways be good and kind, But never force the human mind."
(LDS Hymns 240:2)

When we come to Him and seek some direction, we go through a process of learning step-by-step.

"For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more;"
(2 Nephi 28:30)

As we grow in the knowledge of God, we will receive more and more understanding, light and knowledge.  This understanding helps us to be more obedient to His commands, because we understand Him better, and we know what He wants.  We learn the difference between good and evil, and know how to seek the good.  As we do so, we are more in tune with Him and can be more obedient -- until we are so well-trained that we become one with Him.

"That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."
(D&C 50:24)

"The perfect day" is to become one with God.  As the horse, I need to be so in tune with Him that He doesn't need to tell me every move to make.  I know exactly what my job is, and only slight nudging can put me in the exact place where I am wanted.  I know His will and I become extremely sensitive to His commands.  My will is swallowed-up in His will, and I am one with Him.  Nephi had the experience of being totally obedient to the commands of the Lord.  God truly was his Lord, as he indicated at the end of his record.

"...for thus hath the Lord commanded me, and I must obey." (2 Nephi 33:15)

Nephi is the horse, and God is the rider.

Just as a horse will not immediately understand our commands, we will not immediately understand the commands of God.  On the Earth, we are in training as we learn how to understand the will of our Lord.  As we are obedient, we receive more commands until we understand fully each command.  The more we obey, the faster we will come to know Him.  The less we obey, the slower will be our progress.  Those who refuse to obey will stop receiving commands altogether and will wander aimlessly like a mustang through their lives, never knowing the will of God for them.

Swallowed-up
However, those who "obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness,"
(Alma 57:21) learn faster.  The end of the process of coming to know God as our Master is that our will is "swallowed up" in His.  We no longer have a separate will.  We begin by being obedient to His commandments, and end by being a part of Him.  We no longer need commandments, but rather know His will as our own.  Rod didn't need to tell Skip what to do because Skip had been trained for that ten seconds for many years.  He already knew exactly what Rod wanted -- they were one.

Christ was trained from the foundation of the world to be our Savior and redeemer.  Before He was born the prophets all testified of Him and what He would do.  About 150 years before His birth, Abinadi explained what Christ would do.

Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.  (Mosiah 15:7)

Likewise, if we follow Christ, we will have our will swallowed up in the will of the Father.  We then become one with Him in all things.  We no longer have a separate will, but become part of His will.  This is the willing sacrifice, the only acceptable offering, the broken heart and the contrite spirit that all must give in order to come to God with full purpose of heart.  It is the sacrifice necessary for becoming one with God.

Straw-man God

I was speaking with a young man a few months ago, explaining to him how God works in our lives.  He said he didn't believe in God, but as we discussed his concept of a god, it was obvious that he had no clue who God is.  His concepts of God has come from sectarian notions that have no resemblance to the one true God.

"God is a great being without body, parts or passions, who sits on the top of a topless throne; whose center is everywhere, and whose circumference is nowhere; who is so large he could fill the Universe, and yet so small he could dwell in your heart."

Most people have a concept of God that is a mass of confusion and contradiction.  Those who don't believe are exactly right to be guarded because they are told lies and untruths.  It's good not to believe a lie. However, millions of lies about the nature of God does not mean there is no true God.

Those who say they don't believe in God are actually correct, but they don't know what they are saying.  They have set up a straw-man god that doesn't exist and say that they are incredulous.  I would say, "Of course!  I don't understand how anyone would believe in your concept of God!"  The problem is not the existence of any Creator, but rather a wrong idea of Him.

Skeptics
Thus, all atheists have an issue with truth, because they don't believe the lies.  However, instead of acknowledging that all their own ideas about God are false, they assume they have a correct concept of God, and don't believe it.  They question the beliefs of others, being skeptical of the straw-man supernatural god.

A true skeptic is one who questions his own beliefs.  Atheists are quick to point out the flaws in the arguments of others as to the existence of God, but never think to question that the entity they believe they are skeptical of doesn't really exist.  They have a concept of God that isn't even true so they are being skeptical of their own false beliefs.  They neglect to question that what they think of as God, may not be even remotely related to the one true God.

Seeking the one true God
There is a true God who created the heavens, the Earth, and all things that are in them.  He exists in a dimension that is different from ours, where time doesn't exist, and power is found in words.  Love is the motivation for all things, and His course is one eternal round.  There is no beginning and no end.  The laws of physics apply to our dimension, but not to His.  This is hard for us to understand all of this because it lies outside of our experience.

Those who think they know who God is and ask for proof are arrogant.  They put up a false god and tell others that it doesn't exist.  Then, when they are informed that their own god is a straw-man, they balk, quoting other people who have a false concept of God.  Rather than take the time and effort to try to discover and know their Creator, atheists remain skeptical of their own false concepts of God for two reasons.

1. Laziness -- It takes a huge amount of effort to come to know God because, as Isaiah explains, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."  (Isaiah 55:8-9)  People have to get outside of themselves in order to come to know God's ways, and His thoughts.  This is hard.  It takes a great deal of effort and time.  Most are too lazy to put in the time and effort to come to know the one true God.  Instead, they take on the ideas of other lazy people without questioning it.

2. Pride -- In order to understand God, we need to make a sacrifice of everything we think, and know.  It is so dangerous to think we know something.  Mark Twain explains this beautifully, "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."  This describes perfectly the Athiest concept of God.  They are sure they know already, and aren't willing to learn the truth because they would have to give up their false ideas.  "And... the wise, and the learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up because of their learning, and their wisdom, and their riches—yea, they are they whom he despiseth; and save they shall cast these things away, and consider themselves fools before God, and come down in the depths of humility, he will not open unto them."  (2 Nephi 9:42)  The danger of "education" is thinking we know something already, which prevent us from finding proof.

Proof of God
Words can never give experience.  People often ask for proof of the existence of God.  However, it is impossible to prove an experience.  Only those who have had the same experience will understand, and we cannot even be too sure of that.  My son is "color distorted" (AKA colorblind), and though we may be experiencing the same rainbow, it might be a totally different experience for him.  We cannot prove the existence of light or color to one who has not experienced it.  We cannot prove we have tasted salt.  We can never prove we have felt cold.  Only when the other shares the same experiences can we provide "proof."  But, even then, it isn't proof, it is only communicating a supposed shared experience.

In the same sense, proof doesn't come from people sharing their experiences about God.  This may only peak our interest so that we may desire to come to know God for ourselves.  If we believe that they truly have had an experience with God, then we may ask them how it happened.  We then may follow the same steps and have the experience ourselves, providing the proof we need, which we cannot give to anyone else.  We can share what we have experienced, but the words we use will fall upon deaf ears if the other has not had the same experience.

Any real seeker of truth must take the steps to come to know God for himself.  There is no other way.  Nobody can give proof to another -- it's not possible.  Each must find his own proof.  Each must humble himself and come to the Lord with real intent, meaning they intend to do whatever the Lord tells them to do.  They must believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and come to know Him through following Him and doing as He did.  They must desire to know truth more than they desire anything in the world.  All those who are sincere will come to know God, will experience His hand in their lives, and will have all the proof they need.  And, as they grow in real knowledge and wisdom, they will leave behind their straw-man God.

Why Men Need a Wife

Yesterday my daughter and I were talking about the difference between men and women in their relationships as roommates.  She was saying that girls need to connect so they have a continual party in the apartment, staying up until after midnight talking and laughing, then getting up in the morning and talking.  Boys, on the other hand, barely say a word to each other as they're focused on other things.  When they do talk, it's usually about dating strategy -- how to get dates, and how to get the date to do what you want.  I know how this works, because I know a lot of guys.

About ten years ago I paid thousands to go to a weekend internet business conference run by a successful entrepreneur whose business was a dating web site for guys.  He wrote endless articles about dating, and millions of guys subscribed to his website.  There are a lot of guys who are dating.

I would never have use for a dating service because I wasn't interested in dating.  Only as a teenager did I have any interest in dating.  As soon as I finished college I was looking for a wife.  Then, when I was again faced with the prospect of being single in my 40's, I didn't mess around with dating strategies -- I wanted results!  I was only interested in getting married.  I was looking for a single permanent relationship, and not a temporary friend.  I didn't want to kiss anyone -- I wanted to go all the way!  Every woman I met was a prospect for marriage.  I wasn't looking for the perfect person, I was looking for anyone I could live with who would have me.  I need to love.  I need to be loved.  I'm not emotionally independent.  I'm very needy.

Apparently, there are many men in their thirties sitting around talking about dating lots of girls with their focus on temporary relationships, making-out, or whatever.  They aren't needy, emotionally, but rather independent, or pretending to be.  They don't think they need a woman to care for them, to love them, to comfort them, and to give her heart to them.  They're comfortable not knowing the joy of having a real, heartfelt connection with a woman.  They settle for a kiss because it feels good, it's stimulating, and almost feels like love.  The token approaches, but never arrives at real love.  They don't know what they need.

If he can't see the need, a man cannot overcome the fear of marriage.  It's a huge commitment to get married, to sacrifice freedom and be stuck with one person forever.  If the need for freedom and independence is greater than the need for love, then the focus will be on independence -- and dating.  This way it seems like they could have both; they can remain independent, doing what they want to do, and still have relationships that approach intimacy.  But it's not real.  They need their own lives more than they need a family, and love.  These young men don't realize how much they need a woman.

What men really need
It isn't good for a man to be alone.  Men need a woman in order to be complete.  Without a woman we are only half-human.  A whole human being is a man and a woman together.  The commitment forces us to get outside of ourselves, outside of our own selfish wants and needs, and begin to connect with others.  I'm convinced that without marriage men become severely retarded in their growth.  Like Henry Higgins, they become confirmed bachelors, wondering "why can't a woman be more like a man?"  They never learn to give of themselves, or receive a heart.  Brigham Young is purported to have said some variation of, "Any single man over 25 is a menace to society."  Though he may not have actually said that, church leaders still encourage young men to get married as soon as they are able.  Marriage allows men to grow.

In one sense, God's most important work is Supreme Matchmaker.  The goal for each of His children is Eternal Life, and marriage is the essential part of that achievement.  Without marriage there is no life, or increase.

In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;
And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];
And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.
He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.

(D&C 131:1-4)

Just as baptism is essential for entrance into the celestial glory, marriage is an essential ordinance for entrance into the highest degree of that glory.  Only a couple can move on to the next level, everyone else in the celestial, terrestrial or telestial glories stays the same forever.  They don't have eternal life.  This is why it is so important to God that His children marry in the temple.

Higher needs
Motivation for all things is based on need.  People will seek what they need, and will find it.  I had a patient at the Venice Family Clinic, a retired engineer who had a rent-controlled apartment in Santa Monica, and a good retirement, but he needed freedom so he gave up his comfortable lifestyle to sleep every night on the beach.  He enjoyed his homeless life, though there was lots of discomfort, because his need for freedom was most important to him.  We will sacrifice anything to fill our needs.

The problem is that we fall in love with whatever we believe will fill our immediate needs.  If we don't feel the need to be married, we will not fall in love with anyone.  So, if we are waiting to fall head-over-heels in love in order to get married, it's not going to happen.  Ironically, it doesn't matter if we feel the need for sex, children, or just companionship, even selfish needs that bring couples together can lead them to love if they are willing to make the sacrifice.  They still have that choice.

As free agents, we have the ability to choose how we will live our lives.  The choices we make will be based on our perceived needs.  Everything we choose fills a need.  When there are conflicting needs, the most important one will win out, and the other will be sacrificed.  Many people only live according to their immediate needs of air, food, water; others fill secondary needs for sex, entertainment, taste, and rest.  Young men who think they need freedom and independence more than a heart will be looking for dating strategies, and not a wife.  We end up with what we feel we need.

Choice
Some know in their heads that there is more to relationships than dating, but they don't feel the need to be married.  Without a strong drive they don't fall in love, and persist in their independence.  However, knowing is enough to make a choice to fulfill those needs.  It is so hard to sacrifice an immediate need for one that we don't feel, but we can choose marriage, even when we don't feel the need.  We have the ability to consciously choose to sacrifice independence in order to have love.

All too often people make the wedding vows, and afterwards realize what is required, often becoming disenchanted, or even bitter about this sacrifice.  They want to have both a connection and independence -- though they are mutually exclusive.  These will often have affairs outside of the marriage, asserting their independence, and not fulfilling their covenant.  They're still dating.

Those who make the sacrifice and work hard to fulfill the covenant of marriage find out, after they have given all, that marriage is really what they needed.  They are fulfilled.  They are complete, and whole.  They have a heart, and know love.  They have a connection and find joy in life.  They will always say that what they sacrificed was NOTHING compared to what they received.  They even say that their freedom and independence has paradoxically increased because now they have more choices for growth.

The problem is that we cannot know in advance what we really need, or rather what will truly fill the needs we have.  God knows.  When we follow the Lord and willingly make every sacrifice He requires He will guide us to true fulfillment, joy, and happiness.  Whether we feel the need, or not, marriage will always be an essential part of that.