Precious above all

Yesterday I had a beautiful young woman in her early thirties in my office who was generally healthy. I asked her about children and she said she had none. She had been married for six years so I wondered if it was an infertility issue. "Are you trying to have children?" I asked.
"Not with my current husband!" came the reply.
She then told me about the problems they were having; they were in counseling, but it wasn't going well. I suddenly felt so sorry, not for her, but rather for him. I know where he is, and I now know the truth of the matter. The bottom line is that to a man, a woman is the most important thing in the world!

Twenty years ago, I was a witness in the temple for the sealing of my good friends and neighbors. As I sat waiting with the couple kneeling across the altar, the room was quiet. Suddenly, the Spirit spoke to me as forcefully as I have ever felt -- it was like yelling, "THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT EVER HAPPENS ON THE EARTH -- BAR NONE!!!!" Nobody else heard it. Things went on as before. Later, they got divorced, and so did I. I didn't get it. I had been hit over the head with a 2x4 and I still didn't get it. But, now I see.

The value of a woman is so far beyond the comprehension of mere mortals. We cannot imagine anything more than we have experienced so the most we can say is that she is more valuable than all the Earth. Everything on the Earth has a relative value. There is a story of a man walking in the desert who finds an oasis and drinks water. He is very hungry; he hasn't eaten in days. He knows he won't make it across the desert unless he gets some food. He spies a bag, and thinking it might contain dates he runs and opens it, but it was only filled with a bunch of worthless rubies. The things of the world are only valued according to what another person is willing to pay for it.

A woman, on the other hand, has intrinsic and eternal value. "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." (Proverbs 31:10) She is worth more than all the Earth because she completes her husband. Without her, he is nothing, his power is limited, his knowledge is base, his potential is damnation. With her he is complete and whole -- perfect, as the scripture commands: "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48) With her his potential is limitless, unending, and eternal. He can do all things, and nothing is outside of his grasp. With her he may "inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths..." (D&C 132:19)

If a man knew the value of a woman to his life:

He would have a primary goal to win her love.
He would never hurt her in any way.
He would show the greatest respect for her.
He would treat her with the utmost kindness.
He would stand when she entered the room.
He would never break her confidence.
He would serve her in any way he could.
He would put her first in his life.
He would love her no matter what.
He would forgive all of her faults.
He would work to earn her trust.
He would overlook all of her weaknesses.
He would value her above gold.
He would protect her from all harm.
He would sacrifice his pride.
He would give her all he had.
He would give his life for her.

All problems in marriage begin, as in all organizations, with the leader. If a husband is aware that his wife is the most precious and valuable above all else, the rest falls into place easily, the family runs smoothly, and there is love at home. If the husband of my patient doesn't get this message, he will lose something worth far more than anything else he could ever encounter in his lifetime. I know how it feels. I mourn the loss. Sad.

INJUSTICE

The difference between Christianity and all other religions and philosophies is the concept of justice. True Christians don't believe in justice; in one sense Christian doctrine is completely antithetical to justice. We don't want justice. We don't seek justice. We don't go to court. We don't want others to pay the price for their actions. Instead, we seek grace for all.  This is what Christ offers.

Forgiveness

The injunction to forgive forms a basis of Christian thought. The idea of Karma or payback or vengeance is contrary to Christian ideals. Only God is just, and while we are in the world we must give up the idea of justice. We are required to forgive everyone: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64:10) There is no injustice, no hurt, no damage that allows us to seek vindication. When we seek justice for any one of those who injure us, we are seeking justice for ourselves. However, when we forgive all others we will also be forgiven.

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15)

Grace

However, forgiveness is not enough. We must actively seek injustice if we are to follow Christ. The act of seeking injustice is called "grace." The true Christian goes farther than just forgiving, you would also "bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you." (3 Nephi 12:44) We give grace by imparting to those who steal from us, by praying for those who injure us, and doing good for those who hate us. Mowing the lawn of a poor widow is a good thing, but introducing your enemy to the Lord is truly Christian. Forgiving the person who hit you is a good thing, but praying with all your heart for God to bless the criminal who broke into your house and killed your children is truly Christian. Justice is entirely delegated to God, while we only seek for grace -- for ourselves and all others.

Jesus did likewise, of those who would nail Him to the cross He said: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) However, not only was forgiveness extended, Jesus offers Eternal Life, the greatest of all the gifts of God, even to those same people who crucified Him.  Grace is offered instead of justice.