Pain is brief, but Joy is forever!

The problem of pain is not found in the actual discomfort we experience, but rather in the way we deal with it.  The Scriptures are clear that we are to endure suffering while in the tabernacle of clay.  Part of the test of mortality is to experience evil, and turn to God.  Salvation is what we seek, from whatever torment we have.  Loneliness, death, disability, physical pain, emotional suffering, and loss of all kinds are things we naturally want to avoid.  The avoidance of pain keeps us from growing so those who cannot take pain cannot experience joy.  However, if we turn to the Lord in our sorrows He will comfort us and help us to endure to the end, find Eternal life, and have joy forever.

Avoidance of pain
Those who try to avoid pain, avoid joy -- and experience more pain.  Being in an imperfect world we must "pass through sorrow," as Eve said, and she should know, she started the whole thing.  Adam would have avoided pain, and thus never known good and evil.  They would have never progressed, learned, and obtained joy.  Lehi explains this concept thoroughly: "if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.  And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin."  (2 Nephi 2:22-23)

The fear of pain and suffering always brings on pain and suffering.  In fact, most often it is the very thing that we fear that we must experience, as Job: "the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me."  (Job 3:25)  We cannot avoid pain.  The world is in a constant state of change.  People die. Wars happen.  People get sick.  Disasters happen.   People get hurt.  Evil happens.  We cannot be immunized against these, nor can we avoid them forever.  However, even if we could, it would only bring sorrow, because, as Lehi noted above, if we don't experience misery, we cannot experience joy.

It is natural for us to complain to our peers when we suffer.  I have had many patients who only want someone to understand how they suffer.  But humans cannot truly understand the suffering of another.  We can't truly experience their pain, even when we have had a similar experience because we all feel the same pain differently.  Those who complain about their suffering never grow up and learn from their experience, but rather become bitter and angry.  On the other hand, those who turn to the Lord find comfort.

Once we experience pain we try to get rid of it, or dull it.  Modern Medicine has a myriad of drugs and surgery to reduce or eliminate pain and suffering.  We believe medicine can save us from our pain.  I have seen many use prescription drugs for years, always suffering with pain in spite of the drugs.  "They only take the edge off," is what I hear most.  Most often, in spite of all the doctors can do, the patient continues to suffer -- hopelessly and needlessly.

Suffer the will of God
People often tell me that it is the Devil that gives us pain, that pain is evil and should never be.  However, I have come to see that it is the Lord that gives us pain.  To "suffer" is to "allow" the will of God to prevail in our lives.  If God gives us pain, we suffer (allow) it.  In Proverbs we read, "Despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth."  (Proverbs 3:11-12)

The Scriptures tell us that Christ is "in all things."  All means all and all is all all means.  That means our pain, as well as our joy, come from God.  Job's friend counseled him, "happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty: For he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole."  (Job 5:17-18)  Faith in Christ requires that we do as He did -- suffer the pain that we are given, knowing that He is mighty to save.  King Benjamin paints a picture of what it takes to be a child of Christ, he says that every man must be "willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."  (Mosiah 3:19)  Submission to the pain God gives to us is not to try to avoid it, numb it, or even dull it, but rather endure it, and turn to Him for salvation, for He is our hope.

Seeking Pain
The next step after enduring pain is to seek it, cause it, and feel it to the fullest.  As we go through life and become more mature we progress through a series of stages.

Stage 1, infancy to early childhood: Avoiding discomfort
Stage 2, children through adolescents: Tolerating discomfort
Stage 3, mature adults: Seeking discomfort

Babies avoid pain.  Adults tolerate pain.  Prophets cause themselves pain.  The first two are imposed by others, the last is self-imposed.  There are many things we can do to impose pain upon ourselves that would help us to grow.  I ask people to do this all the time in my office:

• Avoid comfort foods: alcohol, coffee, sugar, bread, and so forth.
• Eat things that don't taste good -- seek the bitter, avoid the sweet.
• Fast.
• Exercise.

These painful habits will assure a healthy body that is able to endure through the vicissitudes of life, having a great deal of strength and stamina to tolerate stress.

The saying, "No pain, No gain" is entirely accurate.  If we don't experience pain, we cannot experience joy.  We only experience joy to the extent that we experience pain.  Therefore, if we want to experience more joy, we should be seeking pain and discomfort, instead of comfort.

Paradoxically, the more we seek comfort, the more we lose it, and the more we seek pain, the more we are enabled to feel joy.  Self-imposed pain is not masochism, but rather seeking things that are good for us, event though we know they are going to be hard, or may end in disaster, or that we might fail, or will be difficult, instead of avoiding them.  Besides the things above for physical health, we can seek pain in other ways:

• Take responsibility for others.
• Find work that is challenging.
• Have a family.
• Get married.
• Have children.
• Follow Christ, get baptized, seek God.
• Give up your own wants, needs, and desires for the benefit of others.
• Speak out against sin.
• Teach the truth about God.
• Give all you have to the poor, accepting a lower standard of living.

As we seek ways to cause suffering and sorrow, we become fully engaged in life.  "That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro," (Ephesians 4:14) but take life by the horns and accept the challenges, the pain, the sorrow, and the suffering.  Not just enduring, but even seeking discomfort and pain.  If we have been hurt, we go back for more.  "Once bitten, twice shy" is for sissies, and children.  Adults will go back and face their fears, and overcome in spite of them.

Trust in God
Hope allows us to endure suffering well.  Christ has the power to take away our pain, however, as long as we are focused on our own pain, and seek something or someone in the world to save us, we cannot have hope.  Hope comes as we exercise faith in Christ and look to Him for salvation.  There are many who suffer physical, mental, emotional and other pains of mortality, who don't turn to the world, but rather to God.  Often, He doesn't immediately remove their pain, but allows the pain to transform them from weak and immature children to strong and confident adults.  Those who turn to the Lord grow up, as Eve indicated: "It is better for us to pass through sorrow..."  and Lehi explained why -- "that they might have joy."

It is not in our power to save ourselves from anything, but rather we are to only do the will of the Lord in all things.  Seeking the will of the Lord is asking for pain, as Moroni was told, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness."  (Ether 12:27)  This is why Malachi echoed the words of the people of God, "Ye have said, It is vain to serve God: and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinance, and that we have walked mournfully before the Lord of hosts?  And now we call the proud happy; yea, they that work wickedness are set up; yea, they that tempt God are even delivered."  (Malachi 3:14-15)  Many have noticed that those who follow the Lord have more problems than those who don't.  This is part of the plan.  Those who seek the Lord will be given more sorrow, that they might experience more joy.

When we turn to the Lord in our sorrows He may not remove the pain, but rather comfort us as we suffer.  As a mother can only comfort her injured child who has a skinned knee, the Lord comforts us in our sorrows, as He did when Joseph Smith was imprisoned: "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."  (D&C 121:7-8)

The Lord tells us that we will have affliction, and that we must endure our suffering to the end, "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days."  (D&C 24:8)  Endure pain; endure suffering; endure heartache, grief and torment.  Endure to the end.  This means the end of the suffering, perhaps even the end of our lives.  "Ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."  (2 Nephi 31:20)

Seek the Lord, and ye shall find Him, but He is not in the place you think -- in endless comfort -- but rather in suffering, sorrow, and pain.  Seek for sorrow.  Feel the pain.  Don't seek an easy and event-free life, putting the brakes on everywhere you are afraid to go.  No fear!  Onward, and upward!  Take on life!  Carpe diem!  Endure hardship!  Seek responsibility!  Learn!  Grow!  Don't be afraid!  God is with you, always, to the end, no matter what!  You will be supported in all your trials.  Seek pain.  Pain is brief, but joy is FOREVER!

FREEDOM!!!

Almost ten years ago, I read a book called The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris where he describes his hack for working away from an office, having both time and money.  The "new rich" are those who have no stuff of the world to bind them down, they are mobile and free.  I sure liked the idea of freedom, it was so synergistic with what I wanted.  When I read the book I was so excited about it that I couldn't sit still.  I would periodically get up and run around the room laughing.  This was the most wonderful book I had ever read in my life.  I was going to do it!  I was there!  I wanted freedom more than anything in the world.

Well, as it turned out, life happened differently from my plans and ideas.  Within a couple of years I found myself in the middle of a divorce, and then a new business, and next a new marriage and family that tripled my responsibility.  Every time I turned around I would have another line staked to the ground, like Gulliver.  I now have thirteen children and four houses in two states, four jobs (two full-time and two part-time), and I'm tied down so tight by my own sense of duty that it seems I'll never get away.  I'm not happy.  I wanted freedom, and got instead so many more tethers to tie me down to one spot.  Instead of enjoying life, I'm hating it!

Types of freedom
We live in a world with millions of intelligent beings that have ideas of how life works -- these are the philosophies of men.  People who are not lazy will go after what they want, and those who are lazy also get what they want.  All of us find a way to get what we want.  Tim Ferris wanted freedom, and he found a way to do it.  When I read his philosophy, I saw that I could do what he did, and it was so exciting to me, because that's what I wanted, and I could see a way out.  I could do it!  However, it was not to be.  The Lord had a higher calling for me.  I had to learn about the different types of freedom.

There are two types of freedom:

1. Freedom from responsibility 
2. Freedom of responsibility

Children are in the first category.  They are completely free from responsibility for themselves.  They have parents to take care of them, allowing them to do anything they want, however, they have boundaries.  The parents will limit their activities to those things that are safe, setting guidelines, and even physically restraining them in car seats, high chairs or cribs.  Thus, while there is a measure of freedom, children are not really free to do whatever they desire.  Many children buck against these restraints, but good parents are firm.

Adults are free to do as they please.  Without the oversight of parents, adults can make decisions for their lives according to their own desires.  However, there are still restraints and limits.  We all need the work of others in order to get what we want.  We need thousands of people working for airlines to fly us from one place to another.  We need all the farmers growing the food so we can eat.  We need people who invent cool gadgets that allow us to communicate... and so forth.  In order to get the goods and services of others, we need to provide others with something valuable.  We can use our brain or brawn to provide something for the needs and wants of others in a fair exchange.  So, we work.  Other restraints include the laws of our land that allow us to live together in peace.  We aren't completely free, but within these parameters we have a great deal of latitude.

This is what got me so excited.  I would be free to do what I wanted, without any responsibility to tie me down.  My business would be impersonal, I can provide a service without being there -- they could watch me on You Tube and get all the information.  I could be anywhere and speak with them on Skype.  The loose bonds with others would allow me to do what I wanted, to go where I wanted, and be whatever I wanted.  It's all about me!  I'm the lone ranger, free to do as I please!  It's real freedom from responsibility.  It feels so unconstrained.  It's intoxicating!

The paradox of freedom
However, there is more to freedom.  The highest level of freedom is being bound to others more tightly.  The connections of love that we form as we care for others is so much greater than being able to do anything we want.  Taking on responsibility allows us to be more than we can be alone.  We have power in unity with others.  Becoming one with others is true freedom.  The more people we are bound to, the more power we have.  More power gives us so much more freedom.

There are many paradoxes in the word "freedom."  True freedom is being bound to the right things, and loosed from the rest.  Being bound to God is freedom, bound by covenants, commitments, and commandments.  In like manner, being bound to a family is freedom.  Being bound by your work where you make a contribution to the world.  When people work together in harmony on a common goal, there is something called synergy.

Synergy is where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  Relationships bring synergy, "some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold."  (Matthew 13:8)  The closer we are to others, the greater is the potential.  A family is very binding, requiring that we give up a lot of things we want.  We need a place to raise the children so we get a mortgage, they need to be taught so we put together schools.  As the children grow, they have different needs, and we become bound to so many things, taking on more responsibilities for soccer teams, boy scouts, play practices, dance recitals, and so forth -- ad infinitum.  All of these things bring groups of people together to reach a common goal.  We have synergy in the relationships.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
(Psalm 127:3-5) 

People take time and effort.  Relationships are built as we get to know the heart of others by caring for them.  It is a process that takes many years and a great deal of effort.  If we are never bound to others, we don't forge a relationship.  The efforts of freedom from responsibility are wasted on ourselves, and we end up alone and miserable.  However, when we take responsibility for others, we develop a bond of trust and love, bringing ultimate happiness.  The more people we care for, the more connected we will be, and the happier we are.

True Freedom
The greatest freedom comes with even more strings attached.  In fact, it is the exact opposite of what I got so excited about when I read that book.  Instead of being set free to do whatever I wanted, I was given responsibility for others, being tied down to my family, my employees, and my patients -- and then to God.  God brings people together for unity, power, and happiness.  The Prophet Joseph Smith explained how happiness is being bound to God:

“Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.”

I wanted freedom from responsibility, but I got freedom of responsibility.  I wanted to do everything I wanted, but had to give up all I wanted.  I was asking for one thing, but got the opposite because I didn't know what I really wanted.  God was merciful and loving by not giving me what I thought I wanted, but rather what I really wanted, but couldn't understand.  I couldn't see how freedom comes from sacrifice.

Sacrificing our will brings us closer to God.  He has all knowledge and all power so when we're connected to Him, we participate in what He has.  A relationship with God is built over time as we bind ourselves to Him, submitting completely to Him, not doing our own pleasures or desires, but rather only His will.  This is the ultimate synergy, as it leads us to infinity where there is no end to our potential.  Paradoxically, the more we are bound to God, the more we are empowered to become ourselves because we learn the truth about ourselves.  Now, I'm happier than ever!  I love the freedom of responsibility because I love the connections of the heart!  I love truth!

Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
(John 8:31-32)