As a Little Child

“Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 19:14

I have always thought this command to His disciples applied to a certain age group, but now I see it in a broader perspective.  In order to come to Christ, everyone, no matter what age, must be born again and become as a little child.  He also clearly states that it is His doctrine that all should become as little children.  In fact, one of the requirements for entrance into the Kingdom of God, or kinship with God, is to spiritually become as a little child.  When Jesus visited the people of the New World after His resurrection, he repeated himself several times in declaring the requirements for receiving an inheritance in the Kingdom of God.

“And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things.
And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.”
3 Nephi 11:37-38

The progression happens in the order that we see in the physical world.  We are born, and then we are little children, and we grow up through time and instruction from those around us who have already been though childhood.  They teach us to walk, talk, and grow up in every way.  They guide us along the path by both word and example.  We follow those around us, imitating what we see, assuming that adults know, and we don’t so we do what they do.

Repentance and baptism are things that we can do, but becoming as a little child is “becoming,” or changing, being different than we are.  These changes are not easy.  Prophets have used the same terminology.  King Benjamin actually explained what it means to “become as a little child:”

“...and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”
Mosiah 3:19

I like to see this in a list form:
...and becometh as a child, 

• Submissive- Instead of fighting against authority, children submit themselves to obey and learn from parents, teachers, and other leaders.
• Meek - Not using power for personal gain.
• Humble - Children recognize that they have no power.  Understanding our place, without delusions of grandeur.
•  Patient - Waiting, always waiting, without instant gratification, children are always being told to wait for dinner, birthdays, treats, or anything they want.
•  Full of love - Innocence of heart allows children to “love like you’ve never been hurt.”
• willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Alma also uses this terminology in teaching how to repent.  He was probably familiar with the words of King Benjamin, and added some of his own:

“But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering;  Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.”
Alma 13:28-29

Submission to all authority is the hallmark of little children.  A contrite spirit is a spirit of submission.  Patience and long-suffering are part of that.  To be lead by the Holy Spirit comes through constant prayer.  The analogy is beautiful!  I see little children with a will of their own, but being at all times in submission to all of the adults around them.  I see little children understanding that they don’t know what things mean, always asking for clarification, definitions, or understanding.  I see the curious child continually learning, seeking knowledge, and growing in every way.

Since I was recently born again, I am a little child, spiritually.  Becoming, spiritually, as a little child is as simple as a change in attitude.  The way is clear, and because I have a lot of experience with children, I know what to do:

• Pray always - being a child, I will only grow up if I’m around adults.  Spiritually being with my Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, and the Holy Prophets means I would pray continually, read Scripture, and look to them in every thought.
• Submit to all authority, not just God, but also governments and all those God has placed over us.  I will obey every word of command with exactness.
• Wait patiently with faith that God can and will give me all I need to grow up and be spiritually mature.  I have to put in the time, receiving “line upon line, precept on precept, here a little, and there a little.”

I will be as a little child and follow those who have become spiritually mature, imitating what they have done.  I will especially take Jesus Christ as the perfect example, the way He lived in submission to His Father, so He will be my Father.  I will put my full faith and trust in Him, believing that He will help me grow up and become spiritually mature -- like Him.  This is how I can become as a little child to God, or how I can have Him as my Father.  ...and this is exactly what I’m going to do.

How to Marry a Princess

Men and women are different, and as the French say, "Vive le difference!"  We are not the same.  Men are like the body.  They have the role of physical achievement.  Men need to work in the world with things all the time.  They need to make money, create things, provide for the needs of the body, and deal with all of the physical things of the world.

A woman is like a spirit.  She is all things spiritual.  She has the connection with God.  She has spiritual qualities of faith, hope, charity, and love.  She has a heart that is not hard, but is soft and pliable.  The woman is the heart.  She is a man's connection with God.  Without her, he is nothing, and cannot come to God.  Men don't realize how utterly important a woman is to his salvation.  Without her, he is just a servant, but with her, he can become a king, the two together make a whole being.

A Perfect Soul

"And the spirit and the body are the soul of man."  (D&C 88:15)

The man and woman together make a complete soul.  There is no competition for control, nor is either going to fill the role of the other.  Both must be in agreement, they must become one.  This unity is necessary for them to come to God.

"Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord."  (1 Corinthians 11:11) 

The completion of a man is his wife.  She is the heart and spirit of the couple.  The body cannot survive without the spirit, but the spirit continues to live without the body.  The body gives power to the spirit, but the spirit gives life to the body.  Likewise, the man gives power, but the woman gives life.  Because we're in the world, the man is the head of the woman.  He has the duty to be the eyes, ears, and mouth of the couple in the world; he faces the world, while she faces God.  Together they make a whole person, a soul.  He is the flesh, and she is the spirit.  

Marrying a Princess
Each time we look at a woman -- any woman -- we are looking at a princess.  We men are all of the world, the workers, the flesh.  We are crude, rude, and unfit for the kingdom of God.  We need a connection with all that is spiritual.  Every woman is a daughter of the King, and by marrying her a man can become an heir to the throne of God.  Without her he can only at best be a servant in the kingdom of God.  Without a woman, he will die.  She is that important to him.  Without her he is only a corpse -- a body without a spirit, not animated, not quickened, not alive in God.  He needs her.  He needs her for life.  His Eternal salvation is dependent on her.

Because of this relationship, she has the option.  The woman decides if she wants her man.  If she doesn't want him, then he has no option for exaltation.  A man may be the leader and make the rules, but his woman has "veto power," she can decide if she wants him to rule over her.  If she doesn't want him, she remains a princess, and can receive another, while he may be left desolate.  The true role of a man is to convince a woman to stay with him when she has complete agency and can choose anyone.  In other words, he needs to become the kind of man to whom she would want to be married forever.  If no woman wants him, he remains a pauper, an illegitimate heir, and cannot sit on a throne.  He needs to love her enough to earn her trust, and to win her heart so she will desire to remain with him forever.

Christ and the Church
The way this happens is given by the example of Jesus Christ.  Paul explains that the husband earns the love and trust of his wife in the way that Christ earns our love and trust.  This analogy is used frequently in the Scriptures -- Christ is the husband, and the Church is the bride.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
Ephesians 5:25-31

A man needs to sacrifice himself for his wife in the way that Christ sacrificed Himself for the Church.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ was for the Church, or those who are obedient to Him.  He gave everything for us, sacrificing His flesh and blood.  A man earns his wife's love in the same manner.  She will love him after he loves her, and gives himself for her.

"We love him, because he first loved us."  (1 John 4:19)

A man must sacrifice his own desires for his wife.  His sacrifice earns her trust, the way God earns our trust through His Great and Last Sacrifice.  Thus, the man is required to be the leader as Christ is our leader; he is to set the example to follow.  He needs to be trustworthy, and earn his wife's trust.  He needs to sacrifice himself out of love, for her benefit, giving her what she needs to live.  She needs to feel that she can trust him, and feel safe in his presence.  He earns her trust in the same way God earns our trust, by being loving, kind, patient, and giving.  He needs, most of all, to be unselfish.
By loving her, he earns her love, and she will desire to be his wife.  He, then, is brought into the family of God.  He becomes an heir by marrying the princess.  She connects him to God, and gives him the chance of kingdoms, thrones, principalities, dominions, and all things in the possession of God.  He inherits all of this, as an heir, because of her.

The Royal Family
God can give his daughters to whomever, but will not go against her will.  When a man learns that the woman's agency is never violated in the slightest, he will understand that she must choose him with her whole heart.  If she doesn't, and desires another, he will be left out of Exaltation.  She decides his fate in a very real sense.  She has options to go with another.  She is the princess.  She has the connection to God directly because she is His daughter, and He will give her to whomever she desires.  The man, on the other hand, must prove himself worthy of a wife, he must be worthy to marry the princess.  He must love her in a way that she will trust him, and develop a bond with him so she will desire to remain with him when she is given the choice.

When all is said and done, and we are before the bar of God, we do not hide anything.  What we are is so apparent, every thought is seen and understood in the context of our whole life.  All things are revealed.  If we have anything that our wife doesn't want to deal with forever, she may refuse.  A man needs to become clean, without spot, in order for the princess to desire him.  She has no obligation to just take him as he is; she isn't his mother.  She can decide that a flaw is unacceptable, and give him up for another.

"Do I love her?"
This understanding changes my perspective about my relationship with my wife.  It is I who needs to earn her trust.  She is my ticket to receive all I desire in Eternity.  Without her I'm nothing.  I need to be patient, kind, and loving.  I need to sacrifice for her.  I need to be such a man that she will want to be with me.  It is her choice.  She can be with me, or be given to another, whomever she desires.  She's the princess.  I'm the pauper.  I need to work hard to become a prince worthy of the princess.  It's my responsibility to love.  I never ask the question "Does she love me?" with any form of manipulation, rather "Do I love her?"  If she doesn't love me, then I need to work harder to love her.  She still has the option, and doesn't have to accept me as I am.  I need to change.  I need to earn her love and trust.

This is not to discourage men, but rather encourage each man to earn the love and trust of his wife so she will desire to be with him.  Men need to change their attitude about marriage, seeking to love instead of being loved.  Each man should stop trying to manipulate his wife to love him.  He should stop being selfish, seeking his own needs and wants.  He needs to, instead, work very hard to find out what her needs are, and sacrifice his own for her, always asking the question, "How can I love her more?"  Knowing how much we need a wife in order to be complete and whole gives us perspective on how to treat her, and love her.