The Wall

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18

Jesus Christ allows me to love; without Him there is no love. Without Him I'm lost, alone, lonely. As I come close to anyone, I get hurt. My pride is hurt. My toes get stepped-on. I can be hurt in so many ways. Because I'm hurt, I pull back and avoid others, keeping me alone, and lonely. This is miserable. I blame others for my misery because I was hurt, it's only logical to protect myself. It’s their fault I can’t love her because I can't trust anyone, I've been hurt before. "Once bitten, twice shy." It's perfectly logical, and totally natural. If I get hurt, I'm going to avoid it in the future. The saying goes:

Hurt me once, shame on you.
Hurt me twice, shame on me.

Those around us will hurt us. The closer these bumbling creatures come to us, the more chances they will have to hurt us. Ignorance, selfishness, and even hatefulness will make them cause us pain. They will always cause us pain, and pain causes fear.

You're all just bricks in the wall!
As soon as I realize that I can be hurt, I immediately put up a wall to protect myself for survival, self-preservation, and protection. Fear builds the wall. I’m not going to let that happen. I don’t trust anyone. My protection is to not allow anyone to get close enough to step on my toes. However, to protect myself from one, I have to put up a wall that keeps everyone out.

Now, I”m miserable, alone, and lonely because I don’t trust anyone. I’m lost and alone. I have no love, no milk of human kindness. I can blame others all I want, but in reality, I'm the loser. All of my protection only keeps me miserable. My own walls make me miserable. I’m protecting my heart from hurt so I can never feel loved. Even though others love me, I can’t feel it because I’m blocking their love. The wall doesn’t block only some, but all. "Nobody loves me" because I can’t feel it. I might know in my head, but I can’t feel it. I’m lonely, alone, and miserable. Life seems hopeless, and I get anxiety, and depression.

"Heart wall" is a descriptive term for whatever blocks entrance into our heart. The Tongue of Angels uses the term, "hard hearted." It is the inability to love. The wall is made of fear. Some people have light walls with loose bricks, and others have steel-reinforced concrete walls that seem impenetrable. The wall prevents people from loving, and feeling loved, with all of the consequences:
Envy
Strife
Malice
Addiction
Back-biting
Adultery
Abuse
Divorce
Fault-finding
Lust
Shame
Greed
Hatred
...and so forth. All that separates humans from each other, all the devices used to quell the loneliness, and all we do because of shame come because of the walls we make. When people don't have a wall, they have a heart, they care, they love, and they feel loved so they exhibit none of the above behaviors.

Tear down the wall!
If I am to love, and be loved, I must desire love more than protection from pain. Every hurt, every pain, every scrape, every infraction is nothing compared to love. Love is the greatest. Love is the connection we have with each other. Love is happiness. Love takes all the misery out of life. Pain is temporary, but love is forever!

I have control over my heart wall because I build it, and tear it down by my choices. If I forgive and let go of all the pain I receive, I'll have no fear, and there will be no wall. The only way to love is to forgive. Nothing is unforgivable. Everything must be forgiven. If I hold a grudge against anyone, then I have a wall against everyone. If I hate anyone, then I hate everyone. “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar:” (1 John 4:20)

Love begins with forgiveness. When I'm hurt, I can hold a grudge, and shut everyone out, putting up walls -- or I can let go and forgive. When all is forgiven, and forgotten, then there is nothing to come between me and you. We are free to love completely. We can give and receive love. We can be close. We can trust without fear, “for, perfect love casteth out all fear.” (Moroni 8:16)  Fear comes from being hurt. Forgiveness removes the memory of the pain, it is forgotten, and I'm free to love. There is no need for self-protection, or walls.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the way. He prepared the way. I can give every pain to Him. All that I suffer will be taken on by Him, and I can be free to love others. I can forgive them because He takes on everything. I don’t need to trust in anyone else. I can go into the fight without worry about getting hurt. He says:

"And their arm shall be my arm, and I will be their shield and their buckler; and I will gird up their loins, and they shall fight manfully for me; and their enemies shall be under their feet; and I will let fall the sword in their behalf, and by the fire of mine indignation will I preserve them." (D&C 35:14)

The antidote to fear is courage, knowing that love will hurt, but I will heal. I can go back into life without putting walls around my heart, like a fighter goes into the ring knowing he's going to get hurt, but also has the chance to win. I can love freely, knowing I will be hurt, but staying soft and accepting suffering for the chance to win the heart of my enemy. The courage to love, is the courage to forgive every hurt, every pain, every loss, and every infraction, however big or small, and then returning without fear, without walls, without protection, without a shield to freely give, and receive.

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” (Matthew 5:43-44)

I don’t need to trust my spouse, my friends, or even my enemies. I need only to trust the Lord. Through Him I can forgive, and be forgiven. I need to trust that He has taken on all my suffering, and will make everything right. I can courageously love without walls, without reservation, without holding back, without protection or self-preservation -- without fear. He will protect me. He will give me all I need. It will hurt -- life hurts -- but I will heal. My trust in Him is my courage. My belief in Him is my forgiveness. My faith in Him is my love. I can love, and be loved, because He can heal all my wounds.