Family

I was in the SLC airport yesterday, going to Los Angeles and as I got to the gate there was a family there with three little children. The father was talking to the attendant at the gate, "I'm sorry, sir, we have no stand-by seats..." The plane was boarding and the mother, with a baby in her arms and two little boys, 2 and 4, with their luggage started towards the gangplank. The dad was standing there, watching them go. She looked down at her boys and said, "Say goodbye to daddy!" They both ran back and gave their daddy a big hug, "I love you daddy!" He replied, "I'll see you in Shanghai." As he watched his family go down the ramp.

 

It was my good fortune to have the seat right next to them. The mom really had her hands full with her baby and all the luggage. The boys clinging to her as she tried to get organized. She with the baby and her four-year-old occupied the two seats on the other side of the aisle from me, her two-year-old was right next to me, across the aisle from his mom. She got everyone to buckle-up, telling her little boy, "I need you to be mommy's little helper and keep your belt on until the plane goes up in the air." He said, "Okay mommy." But had a hard time keeping still.

 

Throughout the two-hour trip the little boy went through the entire range of emotion. For a while I kept him busy drawing on my computer. But when the attendant said we were landing soon we had to "turn off all electronic devices..." and buckle again. I took the magazine from the seat pocket and showed him pictures, asking him what they were.. "a dog, another dog, a robot, a cat, a laser..." This worked until we landed in LA. The other passengers thanked me for keeping the child busy so he didn't cry the whole time. I wondered how she was going to manage a 14-hour flight to China!

 

Good, better, best

I was thinking... It is good to get in a plane and take care of yourself, not disturbing anyone. It's better to see a need and help out, but it would have been best to keep the family together. I might have given up my seat to have the father there with the family -- far better than just keeping one child occupied during the shorter leg of their journey.

 

Family

The family is the most important social unit in society. If we protect families, we protect our whole society. Our laws must do all we can to keep a family together. We must support primarily the family and secondarily the individual. We must acknowledge that without a strong family structure our children won't have the character to maintain peace in the world, and destruction is assured. Only in families can each child be taught to love and be unselfish. All other ways of teaching children make them selfish. Selfishness brings all forms of wickedness, evil and destruction. In one sense, all evil can be defined as, "I want." If people are self-centered, they don't consider the rights, wants, and needs of others. Wars, murders, lying, stealing, and hatred in any form is simply selfishness. Unselfishness, or love, must be taught, it isn't automatic. It all begins with the man.

 

Man

A man is the leader of the family in the same way Jesus is the head of the Church. Those in the Church are baptized as a covenant, binding themselves to him, promising to be true to Him always. He gives them commandments, but never forces His righteous will upon them. He loves His people. He nurtures them. He cares for them. He gives to them according to their wants. He sacrificed Himself for them, dying on the cross, suffering Eternal torment so they could have life without suffering. He allows them to stray, calling them back, offering forgiveness for anything and everything. This is the example of what a real man does for his family.

 

A man must be especially attentive to his wife. He must put the needs of his wife above his own. To a man, a woman is millions of times more important than all of his toys, money, houses, lands, businesses, and worldly possessions -- put together! He needs to treat her like she has that kind of value in order to keep her forever. She is neither to do his work, nor appease his hunger. She is to be protected like the heart in a body -- surrounded by the lungs in the middle of the chest with ribs for protection.

 

Woman

A great indicator of the wickedness of our society is the way women are treated. There are two fallacies that are taught to our children in school, at home, and all over the social structure. 1. Women are just like men, and 2. Women are objects like toys to play with, which we addressed above.

 

The truth is, men and women are different (as the French say, "Vive le difference!). We are not to treat a woman like a man. She doesn't go out and work for money, she needs to be in the home. She is the heart of the family. How she feels is how the family goes, just like the old saying from the South, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

 

As a wife, a woman gives herself to her husband. This is all he really wants, her heart. If she doesn't feel loved and cherished, or if she feels unsafe she will hold back. The importance of the covenant of marriage is that even when they don't feel like being married, they remain together because of the promise. This teaches unselfishness -- or love.

 

Those who become mothers nurture the children in love. A mother sacrifices for them. When they have a need she drops everything to care for them. She doesn't regard her own needs higher than theirs; even her most basic needs of eating and sleeping are sidelined in order to care for their needs. This is how she loves her children, and how the children feel loved -- and lovable.

 

Children

The children are the reason. Families exist to nurture children and provide an environment where they can grow and mature. This requires that they experience the best of life. In order to learn something a human being must experience it. We really never understand anything we don't actually experience. They must feel loved, be loved, and see their parents love each other. They must experience the vicissitudes of life in a safe environment where they can be comforted. These things cannot be done in day-care, classrooms, or any other way devised to raise children. Children without a loving family don't mature in ways that are essential to happiness. They may still grow up later, but only with great difficulty.

 

In one sense, the family raises the children to be independent. The beginning stage of maturity is the ability to take care of ones self. From there, some really advanced families help the children to be interdependent, bringing independent people together to do things none of them could do alone. This, of course, requires love, trust and unselfishness. It is upon this interdependence that whole societies flourish because of synergy: 1+1=10. Two people working together can do ten times what they collectively do as independent entities. Independent people only make a functional society.

 

Society

Society goes backwards when it begins to cater to individuals because they foster dependence. The lowest form of existence is dependence, one step up is independence, and the highest is interdependence. You can see this progression in the normal growth of children. As society values independence we lose the interdependence that makes us strong, free, and loving. I see our political system tearing down this structure on both sides. The "Republicans" are yelling for independence, and the "Democrats" are crying for dependence. Both are going backwards. There are very few voices for love and interdependence.

 

When children are taught to love through family relationships, they grow up to act as leavening in their sphere of influence. These are the "movers and shakers" that raise everyone around them to new heights. These trustworthy individuals use the talents of those around them to form organizations and businesses that succeed in amazing ways. With discernment they understand how each person can contribute, and where they need help. They bring people together in such a way that the talents of one will offset the weaknesses of another. They show and teach love and trust. Without the ability to get outside of themselves people don't become good leaders. Excellence in leadership is really a gift of love.

 

We need good families now more than ever. Our own government is pulling down the social fabric that binds families, leading to bondage and destruction. We need leaders who love, who do not seek their own, who give from their hearts, who bring others together to fight this insidious evil. The vicious cycle has begun: the more families are broken, the more society tears them down. Strong and loving leaders can hold back this downward spiral, but only as more people turn to the Lord, Jesus Christ, will it be reversed.

 

The Lord

Charity is the pure love of Christ. No matter what your family upbringing, you can have a Father who loves you, and will teach you to love. As people turn to Him, they become arrows in His quiver. They wield the sword of truth to defend virtue. They are the leavening that raises their whole society. They receive from the Holy Spirit the gifts that they need to do His work. He is the master Teacher and the ultimate Leader. He is the true and loving Father of all who will give His children all they need. Those who are willing to follow Him can be great fathers and mothers, raising children who become great leaders. Thus, they act as leavening to raise up a whole nation.

 

Don't expect others to effect these changes. It requires the the greatest efforts of all those who are willing. As David told his son Solomon, "Know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee." (1 Chronicles 28:9) Turn to God in prayer. Ask Him how you can serve Him, and then do as he tells you. Who knows, you, or one of those you teach, may become a great leader that saves a whole generation!