I have been such a wimp all of my life. I have avoided conflict and confrontation to the extreme. I come to the point of confrontation and lose all resolve. I could never be a lawyer because I cannot think clearly when the confrontation is hot. I must always have the upper hand, or else I lose my cool, and my brain.
I always thought of myself as a "peacemaker" who helps others to get along, but I suspect I've been doing it wrong. "Peace at all costs" means giving in to evil. It means not confronting wrong. It means allowing people to take advantage of others. It means being complicit to evil. Mostly, it seems I lack clarity on what is right and what is wrong.
Fear
The reason for being a wimp is because of the fear of man. The strong desire to be admired by all, or seeking for the honors of men, creates a fear inside of losing such honor. Those who use and abuse mankind can see through that weakness and use it against me to their own ends. Thus, the fear of man is among the seven deadly sins. I think it should be chief among them. I need to repent of this evil that I perpetrate on all of mankind by my inaction.
"You should not have feared man more than God." (D&C 3:7) God is all that is good. All good is embodied in Jesus Christ, who has set the standard and paid the price. Whatever leads to Him is good, and whatever doesn't is evil. Good and evil can be defined so clearly and concisely that anyone can know. I'm not afraid that they will hurt me. I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of obscurity, loneliness, and disapproval. I don't want to be "trodden under the feet of men." This is my fear.
Ironically, that which we fear is what we bring about in our lives. I have caused, by my wimpiness, much tongue-wagging, pity, and reprisal. I have been in court in front of juries and judges, reprimanded by the California Medical Board, and lost the respect of my peers. I am not considered a good doctor among doctors, a good businessman among those who know business, a good husband by my ex-wife, or father by my children, or anything good. I cannot do good if I am in such fear of stepping on toes. In trying to please everyone, I have pleased no one. Fear has brought about the very thing I feared.
Making enemies
Living a good life means having friends and enemies. Doing the right thing will cause those who don't to oppose you. One author noted, "If you don't have any enemies, you haven't tried hard enough." (author unknown) The process of helping people come to know God and salvation brings with it the attendant effect of many who bless your name, and those who curse you.
Being a wimp is not the way of the Lord. The Lord never allows sin, error, or evil. He doesn't let the smallest impurity into His Kingdom. "I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." (D&C 1:31) While He loves His children more than any human capacity to understand, yet He allows all to choose, even it they choose to suffer. He weeps over them when they choose not to be with Him, and are cast out and suffer Eternal torment. God has enemies, and he doesn't allow them into His House -- even though He loves them.
Wise as serpents
"In order for evil to flourish, all that is required is for good men to do nothing." (author unknown) Edmund Burke tells us that "When evil combines, it is essential for good men to gather as well." Those who fight evil must do so by pointing it out, making it clear, and focusing on good, truth, right, and virtue. When in conversation an evil philosophy is voiced, the error must be pointed out, and the truth told. Allowing the wrong doctrine to go unopposed is akin to promoting it. Doing nothing is being a friend to evil, and accomplishes nothing.
The fact is, we are in a war. We have been fighting a war since before we came to Earth. The war between good and evil is ongoing. We won the first battle, and now we are in the midst of the great and last battle. This is the battle for the souls of men, the children of God. We fight with the sword of truth, the shield of faith, and so forth. People are killed as their souls are lost to error and complacency. The confrontation is constant. The battle rages on without letting up for a second. The enemy tells us there is no battle, people are not dying, all is good, all is quiet on the front, the enemy is our friend -- and we believe. We lose sight of the lines of good and evil.
In order to understand your enemy, you must become like him. The Father of lies seeks for understanding, and I have obliged. After all, it's only right that I give everyone an opportunity. I am learning that this is wrong. People choose their own paths in life. I cannot choose for them. I cannot give in to even a little evil. If people come into the office and don't follow instructions, they might be asked to leave. Only those who will comply with my program should come back. This is because of their choices. If they choose to be healthy, they will do as they're told and get better. "Him that has, gets." This is because their previous choices lead to more choices and blessings. While all people have the same opportunity, all people are not salvageable. Many choose the low road, and these will no longer waste my time. I will not "Cast my pearls before the swine." I can encourage everyone, allow for mistakes and repentance, and move on in the work of the Lord, always seeking after those things and people that are "Virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy."
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