My Three Sins

I always thought a sin was something I did, or didn't do. When I do something I shouldn't, that's a sin of commission. Also, when I don't do something I should, that's a sin of omission. However, now I see it differently. Henry David Thoreau said: "For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one chopping at the roots." The leaves of evil are the manifestations, the outward signs, the part we can see -- the things we do, or don't do. The roots of evil are found in the heart, or why I did that. Why do I steal things? Why do I not fulfill my calling? Why do I look upon women with lust? Why do I lie? The root of the problem is in asking, "why?" I don't think we need to repent of the things we did so much as why we did them.

The Lord has revealed to me why I commit sins in my own life. The foundations of all my sins are found in the three desires of my heart:

1) Unbridled intimacy without sacrifice of my heart

2) Wealth without responsibility

3) Praise, glory, and the honors of men without earning it

These desires have been a part of me since the beginning. As a child I wanted these things given to me. I wanted them to come easily. I didn't want to put out any effort to get them myself.

However, as I thought about it more, I dug deeper and found that there is another level, the level of the heart. I did this by, again, asking "why?" Why do I want these things so badly? The underlying cause of these desires can be found in the needs that create them:

1) Loneliness

2) Insecurity

3) Guilt

In my heart, I conceived of a way to fill those needs with:

1) Sex to feel a connection with another. 

2) Money to be able to buy all I want in the world.

3) Honors of men to tell me I'm OK.

These work. They bring fulfillment of the need in the heart so they motivate everything I do.

1) I get married to fill the first need. I might have just lived with a woman or used many women but that would have prevented me from ever fulfilling number 3. I tried so hard to please my wife; I just wanted her to appreciate me and love me.

2) I work hard, I give to others, and expect others to give back to me, and they do.

3) I became a doctor to have honor and respect. I keep the commandments. I do things that are respectable and honest.

These all work. Each one does what it's supposed to do. They all fill the need in my heart. I feel fulfilled -- as long as I have them.

So, is the sin the needs in my heart, or the way I have chosen to fill them? The existence of the needs isn't really the problem, these are universal to mankind. Everyone has:

1) a need to be loved

2) a need for security

3) a need for forgiveness

My sins are in all the ways I seek to fill those needs that are of the world. The reason we call it sin is because it isn't true. There is nothing in the world that can fill the needs of the heart. As much as I try, the best I can do is temporary relief. The need remains, and remains unfulfilled. It fills the need, but it's like eating for hunger -- you just get hungry again.

Truth is forever. The true way is to fill the need permanently. The heart is changed when the need is filled by God.  When I look to him to fill my needs, then all I do is for Him. This is what it means to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." (Matthew 22:37) He can:

1) fill my heart with love

2) provide for my physical and spiritual needs

3) forgive my sins and take away my guilt.

When I look to my Father in Heaven to fill my needs, then all of my thoughts, desires and motivations will be on Him. I will begin to put my faith and trust in Him, and let go of the things of the world. The feeling of love comes from a belief that something, or someone, can fill a need in my heart. If I believe that God can fill all the needs in my heart, then I will love Him with all of my heart. He can, and He does. It is permanent and abundant. There is no lack, no hunger, no thirst because the fulfillment comes from within.

"But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." (John 4:14)

Repentance is letting go of the ways I have sought to fill the needs of my heart, and believing that God can, and will, fill them. I should not focus on the sin, trying to get rid of it, but rather focus on the goal, trying to obtain what I really need by seeking the Lord's help. So, what I really need, then is to look to God for:

1) Charity to fill my heart.

2) Trust in the Lord to give me my daily bread.

3) Purification and sanctification through the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Once I have these, I could say that I have repented of all my sins. All of them. Sins are not infinite, but God is. I'm not relegated to being a sinner all my life, even a repentant sinner. I have the promise that I can "be made white through the blood of the Lamb." (Alma 34:36) Since I can define the sins in my heart, I can turn my heart to the Lord and repent of each one. There are only three. How hard can it be? :-)

Becoming Whole

I'm not a prophet, seer, or revelator, but I was asked by one in authority to preach today.  As I prepared this talk, I realize that it is for my benefit, so I ask that the Holy Ghost be with us that perhaps one other person here will also benefit from what I’ve learned. 

I love you.  I love everyone in here.  Those of you I know better, I love more.  But it wasn't always that way. 

As a college student I felt like I had nobody.  I would walk around campus feeling like nobody knew me, nobody cared, and life had no value.  I didn't want to die, but then again, I didn't want to live, either.  If I had gone to a doctor he/she would have said I was depressed and given me a pill to feel better.  But this would not have helped me in any lasting way. 

Have you ever felt unloved, like nobody loves you?

Have you ever felt unable, like you can't do all the things you need to do, or are supposed to do?

Have you ever felt incomplete, like something is missing? 

I want you all to know that these feelings are normal.  Feelings are not to be judged as right or wrong, we only need to know where they come from.  We need to know why we feel that way so we can actually do something about them. 

In the case of feeling insecure in ourselves, the feelings come from Satan -- and God!  It is important that we know that Satan uses part of the truth to get us to believe a part that's a lie.  God has said that we are not worthy of Him.  We are all sinners.  We all have transgressed the law and have no place in the Kingdom of Heaven.  We are all outcasts. 

King Benjamin told his people: "always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures." (Mosiah 4:11) 

He also told them: "I say unto you that if ye should serve him ... with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants." (Mosiah 2:21) 

Satan takes this truth and brings us one step further to make us feel discouraged, hopeless, and depressed.  "I'm not worthy, I'm incomplete, I don't love -- and there's nothing I can do to improve the situation; therefore life is hopeless!"  It's just the last part that is the lie! 

The truth comes in the wonder, glory, mercy and grace of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! 

Our feelings are absolutely correct -- we can do NOTHING!  We are as sheep before a pack of wolves -- helpless, hopeless, and dead!  We are powerless, as King Benjamin pointed-out.  Even our best efforts cannot get us anywhere --  

But our Lord can bring us from wherever we have fallen, to the highest heights of all.  This is the power of His love, sacrifice and atonement for us.  The word "Gospel" means "Good News!"  The "good news" is that we have a Savior who has the power to make us whole.  Why did we "shout for Joy" in the pre-mortal life when it was announced that Jehovah would come and make the Eternal Sacrifice?  We knew that through Him we could be whole. 

Wholeness is completeness.  Wholeness means nothing is missing.  The English word for "whole" used in the Scriptures is "perfect."  We are commanded to be whole, complete, or perfect: 

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48) 

Did Jesus include Himself?  Read it again.  No.  Instead He said at another time:  

"Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God." (Mark 10:18) 

This is a very important concept, that the Lord was incomplete, having a mortal body. 

When Jesus came to the Nephites and Lamanites after His resurrection and taught them the same sermon He gave in Jerusalem a few years before, He changed the ending -- listen carefully for the difference: 

"Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect."  (3 Nephi 12:48) 

If Jesus was not whole while on the Earth, but became perfect, complete, or whole after his resurrection, why do we expect perfection of ourselves right now? 

The feelings we have of insecurity, of ineptitude, of incompleteness are perfectly normal, logical -- and TRUE!  We are incomplete.  We are unable to save ourselves from death and hell.  We cannot become perfect in our thoughts, words, and deeds -- it's IMPOSSIBLE -- now. 

However, knowing this, we don't need to follow Satan and become hopeless, discouraged, depressed and anxious.  It's not that the feelings are wrong and we need to take a pill to avoid or suppress the feeling, but rather we need to deal with the feelings by seeking a way out.  If we cannot do it by ourselves, perhaps we can get some help! 

God can help us by giving us gifts.  There are three gifts of the Spirit that bring us to wholeness, and we must seek them, ask for them, and prepare ourselves to receive them in order to obtain them.  I'm going to give you the three things you can do to obey the commandment to become whole: 

1. Faith: Paul tells us: "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (Hebrews 11:6) 

Faith is diligently seeking the Lord.  It is coming to know Him through prayer, and study of His Word.  This means every day taking the time to seek Him.  I have often said that I'm so busy that I don't have time to pray or read the Scriptures, but the Spirit told me that I always have time to do what is important to me.   

Putting the most important things first is essential to a happy life.  To know God is the most important business of our lives.  Our relationship with God is more important than ANYTHING.  It is more important to spend time with the Lord, and seek the Holy Ghost every day than to:

Eat

Clean the house

Make money

Brush your teeth

Watch TV

Check email

...and so forth. 

Faith is putting God ahead of ALL other things.  EVERYTHING else we do is just a distraction.  Faith is diligently seeking the Lord.   

2. Hope: Peter said: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead," (1 Peter 1:3) 

This scripture tells us about two kinds of integrity: Being "born again" how we become spiritually whole.  Our spirits are in a battle with our bodies from the beginning.  Our spirits want to learn, grow, and know God, but our bodies want stimulation, relaxation, food, candy, and the lusts of the flesh.  Only through the Lord, Jesus Christ, can we be born again, changed from a carnal to a spiritual state, bringing our bodies and spirits into agreement.  This is called "a mighty change of heart." 

The other part of hope is the resurrection.  This is the physical uniting of our bodies and spirits. 

The gift of hope is the assurance of a glorious resurrection.  It is having integrity of both body and spirit.  It is the promise of immortality and Eternal Life.   

As we celebrate the Living Christ this Easter, we can ask for, and obtain a promise, through faith, that we will also be resurrected to Life Eternal.  This is hope because we know our life will go on forever in happiness and joy. 

3. The first two lead to the third.  The greatest of all these gifts that we are given on the Earth is Charity.  Remember how we started -- that we are all nothing before God?  The Apostle Paul explains why we are nothing: 

"And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing."  (1 Corinthians 13:2) 

Nephi also says, "the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have charity, which charity is love. And except they should have charity they were nothing." (2 Nephi 26:30) 

Mormon tells us the same thing:  

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing," (Moroni 7:46) 

Mormon goes on to give us the two keys we need to obtain this gift:  "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ;" (Moroni 7:48) 

First, pray and ask for charity with all your heart.

Second, it is given to those who are true followers of Jesus Christ.  How do we follow Him?  Here's what He did: "I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father" (John 5:30) 

What is the will of the Father? 

The basics are the same for everyone.  Jesus told the Nephites: "the Father commandeth all men, everywhere, to repent and believe in me.  And whoso believeth in me, and is baptized, the same shall be saved;" (3 Nephi 11:32-33) 

The gate of entry is the same for everyone, and is spelled-out in the fourth article of faith:

We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. 

These four principles are just the beginning, they bring us through the gate, as Nephi explains how the first principles and ordinances only start us on the path to Eternal Life: 

"For the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost.   

And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life;" (2 Nephi 31:17-18) 

Once we have repented of all our sins, are baptized, and have received the Holy Ghost we are at the beginning of the path.  How do we follow the path to Eternal Life?

We do this by following Christ.  Remember, He only sought the will of the Father.  We would need to do the same.  Seek God's will for your life.  Find out what He wants you to be doing every minute of every day.  Your life will be different that all others.  God's will for you will be different than for me, or any other. 

In the Doctrine and Covenants we read how to build confidence: "Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God;" (D&C 121:45) 

First: Charity for all men -- love everyone!

Second: Virtue (the word of God) fills your thoughts constantly.  Fill your life with the word of God.  Write the commandments on your door posts.  Write them on your forehead.  Write them on the hem of your skirts.  Listen to the words of the prophets.  Read the word of the Lord found in the words of the prophets.  Avoid the words of Satan found in all the media around us -- books, television, radio, internet, you tube, and so forth.  Instead, fill your head at all times with virtue.  You know how to judge what is good and what is evil.  Mormon tells us: 

"For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.

            For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.

            But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil;" (Moroni 7:15-17) 

So, whenever you see or hear anything, ask yourself, "Does this bring me closer to God?"  A "yes" answer means it's good.  A "no" answer means it's evil.  There's no grey area.  It is like night and day. 

Keeping your mind constantly occupied with faithful things brings: 

Faith, Hope, and Charity.  They come together, like the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.  They cannot be separated. 

The Faith we have is not that we can do better by ourselves, but rather faith in the merits of Him who is mighty to save. 

Our hope is not that we can "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps" and reach heaven with our good works, but rather that the Lord was resurrected, as will we all, and we can be resurrected to happiness forever through Him. 

Charity is the crowning achievement of life, a gift that we receive from Christ that we possess.  It is the Love that He has had for all mankind in His infinite atonement.  This gift is when we actually have the Name of Christ given to us, because we are like Him. Charity is worth our greatest efforts, and constant striving.  It is worth all the sacrifice we would have to make, for without charity, we are NOTHING.  Without charity we are incomplete, inept, useless, and lost.  We will continue to feel our nothingness, our insecurity, doubts, fears, helplessness, and hopelessness until we possess this gift.  We feel it.  It's true.  However, with charity, we become whole, complete, and perfect!

So, I leave you with the words of Mormon, his call to action.  Truer words were never spoken in the name of Jesus Christ: 

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen. (Moroni 7:48)