We cannot give what we don't have. If we are looking to be loved, then we cannot love. If we don't have any love to give, then we cannot truly love. Instead, we give fake love. We are very familiar with fake love because it's constantly all around us. The words, "I love you" generally refer to fake love. Fake love is all the things people do to manipulate us into doing what they want. Let's look at a few examples.
Needs
Fake love is very often found in need. We cannot love anyone or anything we need. Need always has conditions: "I need _____ in order to _____ ." But love has no conditions.
This may happen in marriage. For example, if a husband needs his wife to fill his loneliness, then he pretends to love her by trying to fill her needs. As long as they fill each other's needs, each continues to feel as if the other loves them. However divorce is imminent when either, or both, are not getting their needs filled. They may recognize previous contributions of their spouse, but feel like, "What have you done for me lately?"
When parents need their children to love them, then they cannot love their children; they cannot give what they don't possess, nor supply what they need. This reversal of roles is what underlies all child abuse. Parents who use their children to fill their own needs are abusive. Sometimes it's blatant, such as sexual abuse, however, most of the time it's more subtle. Fear is the opposite of love so when parents try to protect their children out of fear, it is a form of fake love. Even more subtle would be the desire for the children to be an extension of the parent, "a chip off the ol' block," or in any way expecting a child to follow in the parent's footsteps. When parents need their children to be, or do, or say, or in any way fill a role in the family that isn't for the benefit of the child, it is fake love.
Sometimes we have friends who need us. They cannot love us because we cannot love anyone we need. When the need is no longer there, being filled by another, for example, the friendship may dissolve. The old saying goes, "A friend in need, is a friend, indeed." But that need is not love, it is need. There is nothing wrong with need, and certainly nothing wrong with exchanging help to fill needs, however, it isn't real love because it's conditional.
All the Lonely People
When we come of age, and look around, we find very little real love. We find fake love everywhere. The cycle of fake love goes on because of the hope that it will work, though it never does. Unless we decide to change, we all just end up doing the same things our parents did to our children, only in different ways. Thus children don't grow up knowing love.
Those children then move out into the world seeking love, and find none. Everyone is looking for love, but nobody has any love to give. They get boyfriends and girlfriends hoping to be loved, but all they get is filling needs. They are married, but the expectation of filling needs only becomes greater. They may have children hoping to be loved, but find children are needy, and can't love. After a time, many give up ever trying to find love.
Some bury themselves in selfishness, their work or their habits, filling their need for love with fame, fortune, food, or fun. Their business is busy-ness; their occupation occupies their time, distracting them from their true need. Their relationships aren't connected or intimate. They eat to fill a need that cannot be filled with food so they get fat. Money seems to fill the need because we can buy love, but only fake love can be bought. Thrill-seekers are also looking for love, but not able to fill the need with a greater high. All the things we do, all the mountains we climb, all that we endure for love is wasted on fake love.
Fake it 'till you make it
Most books on love look at the superficial aspects of relationships, most often filling needs. One school of thought is to use the needs of another in order to manipulate them into filling our own needs. There are few needs that make people feel loved, or love languages. Using the needs of another to "make them feel loved" is just another form of manipulation. It isn't real love. Couples go to counseling to learn how to love each other, but are only taught how to manipulate by filling the needs of the other. Anytime there is a condition placed on love, "I love you if..." or "I love you when..." it is fake love.
Self-help psychology books on love are nearly always based on feeling loved, instead of being loved. They work on the leaves, the trappings, or the superficial aspects of what looks like love from the outside. Sometimes they advocate giving service to others as a way to love, which may be true, but love is not about what you do, rather why you do it. If we give service so that we can feel loved, it is only another form of manipulation, and is temporary, at best.
Everyone knows, but nobody will say, that our efforts to love and be loved are all fake. We want fake love. We want to be accepted just the way we are, and have no strings attached. We want to avoid growth. Thus, on both sides we are giving and receiving fake love willingly and happily, as long as it is available. When it isn't, we may become depressed, anxious, hopeless, or hard-hearted. But even receiving fake love will eventually cause us to become disillusioned.
We are told that we need to "fake it 'till we make it!" A young couple is supposed to fall in love and fill each other's needs with fake love until they grow into real love. But just as often this ends badly, not just in divorce, but in unhappy marriages or domestic partnerships with parallel lives. Children grow up with childish parents who are affectionate and use words of love, but aren't really loving. Faking love is fake love. Fake love is the sacrifices we make in an attempt to fill our own need of being loved. Faking it doesn't work, it doesn't fill the true need to love and be loved -- to share love -- real love.
Real love
This is not to say that real love doesn't exist, but rather it is precious and rare. Only those who are filled with love are able to give love to others. Parents who are loved by their spouse are able to love their children with real love. There is no fear or need, only acceptance and help. A daughter who is loved by her parents is able to love her husband with real love. There must be a beginning. It must start out with love. Someone must have real love to start the process so others can be loved, who then love those around them. The growth of love is exponential.
But, we don't just feel loved, we possess love, and have an abundance to give. Real love is the sacrifice we make for the benefit, or spiritual growth, of others. We give ourselves. There are a few things we possess: time, attention, knowledge, and effort. Giving these willingly and freely is all the love we have to give.
To be with
Everyone has the same gift and exactly the same amount as everyone else -- time. We are all given a little less than 24 hours in a day. We spend our time with the things we love, or that we think will bring us love. Since objects cannot love, nor can they grow, we cannot truly love them, thus, our time may be wasted on things. Nevertheless, if our time spent with things is being used to increase our own ability to love, then it isn't wasted. Ultimately, when we use our time to help others grow spiritually, it is love.
To listen for understanding
Attention is given as a gift. It is the energy we put into knowing another person. It is what we do to connect with them, to know them, and to be intimate with them. It takes energy to truly listen for understanding. This energy is love. We cannot love what we don't understand so if we don't know a person, we can't love them. Love requires knowledge, and listening is the beginning of love.
To accept the whole package
Everyone has strengths as well as weaknesses. Real love accepts the person as a whole without judging or condemning weaknesses. One who possesses love is able to see the truth of each person, that their weaknesses are given to them for their own benefit, while their strengths are given for them to benefit others. Seeing both sides as the blessings that they are helps us to take the whole person, and love them. With this knowledge we will be able to lift them up and help them grow -- which is true love.
To share our story
Giving knowledge is the gift of what we truly have. Our experience can be passed-on by communicating what we have learned. Telling our story is love. It allows others to take what we have learned, incorporate it into their own lives, and not have to endure the same experiences. The mistakes we have made teach us lessons, and those things we learn can be imparted to others for their benefit. The risk we take of showing our weaknesses is love.
To use our creativity
Our art is our creative efforts, our strengths, or our gifts. We all have an art to give, which are gifts that uplift others, that raises the consciousness of those who witness it. We may think of creativity and art as painting or sculpture, but it also comprises building, cleaning, teaching, cooking, and all of the mundane things we do. Some are good at speaking, or knowledge, others have administrative gifts. Whatever our gifts of creativity, we can lift others and improve their lives by giving freely, not for our own benefit, but rather just to improve the lives of others. This is real love.
To choose
Real love is always a choice. It is never automatic. In marriage, ideally, two people who already know they are loved choose to be together and love one another. They can give true love because they already possess it; they don't need the other to give it to them. There can never be any form of manipulation or coercion in real love. The Lord tells us that we can only influence others "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul, without hypocrisy, and without guile." (D&C 121:41-42) The choice to influence others in this manner is real love.
Receiving the gift
True love is a gift that is given to others. We cannot give what we don't have so it is necessary that we first obtain real love. Like any gift, we need to be prepared to receive it. We cannot possess love if we don't have a heart. If we were very thirsty, and sitting by a well of water, but had no bucket to lower into the well, we would just remain thirsty. The need is there, the possibility of fulfillment is there, but for the lack of a vessel there is no way to marry the two. We all need love, it is the primary motive force of life in the Universe. However, as long as we need, but have no way to hold or store love, it will be like water running though our fingers.
In order to be prepared to be loved, we must begin with desire. When we know the difference between real love and fake love, we may begin to seek to possess it. There are three steps in this process:
1. A broken heart helps us to know ourselves.
2. Learning self-control by being obedient
3. Giving our heart to God allows us to receive His love.
This path is not automatic, it must be sought specifically. A broken heart can lead us in one of two directions, a soft heart, or a hard heart. Those who become bitter and angry because of their pain, weaknesses and problems do not learn to love. On the other hand, those who choose to let go and give their heart to God will be softened. This will allow us to begin the path that prepares us to love.
Know yourself
The Greek maxim, "Know Thyself" is written on the temple at Delphi. Variously ascribed to Socrates or Plato, this aphorism is filled with love. As we have already discussed, we can't love anyone we don't know, and if we don't know ourselves, we cannot understand that we are loved. When we encounter true love, we will be skeptical, unbelieving, or we will simply ignore it. Thus, unless we understand who we are, at the very core, our hearts, there is no way for us to possess love at all.
As we go through life, we are given circumstances that help us to know who we are, or what we truly desire in our hearts. These are usually hard things. Some are temptations. King David was given a temptation that he couldn't resist, and learned his heart, and the love of God. We are all given issues to deal with. Often they are problems that cause us damage such as addictions, breaking our hearts so we may learn what we are truly made of. As we come to know ourselves, we can accept who we are, strengths and weaknesses, and begin to feel loved, especially the love of God. This is a soft heart.
Control yourself
Once we come to know what is in our hearts, the next step towards love is to be in control. While the maxim "control thyself" has been ascribed to Cicero, I like the way Alma explains it to his son, Corianton, "see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love." (Alma 38:12) A bridle gives direction, but not force. It is a gentle control over the whole body. The Apostle James used the same analogy as he explains the need to control our speech, "If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body." (James 3:2-3) When we have control over ourselves, our wants, needs and desires, then we will begin to have the capacity to love.
The achievement of self-control is to love God. When we put Him first, we will be able to put aside our own needs, which are the problem, and "take His yoke upon us." We only need to do as He says in order to have love. Jesus gave us the path as succinctly as possible, "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15) By controlling our passions and desires we are enabled to be filled with love.
Give yourself
When we have love, we are enabled to give. Jesus told His disciples, "as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." (John 13:34) He didn't tell them they had to know themselves, or control themselves, they learned it through their own experience. Right after Jesus commanded this, Peter said he would give his life for Jesus. The subsequent experiences allowed Peter to see himself truly, and then repent and become a mighty apostle. As he went through each one of the steps, he was able to give love as Jesus did.
Jesus likewise gave love as He had received. He explained, "As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you" (John 15:9) We all start from the same place. We cannot give what we don't possess. For this reason it is essential that we receive the love of Christ before we can love one another.
The way to find true love is clear. Our experiences in life allow us to see who we are. If we soften our hearts and accept that we are needy, then we can turn to God. We then exert control by doing everything He tells us to do. Once we are in control, God fills us with love, and we have the ability to use all of our talents to lift others, to love them truly, to give from the heart without any selfish desires, and help them grow. Is this not real?
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Why are we here?
I've always loved the story of Jonah and the whale. Jonah was called to preach the Gospel to a fallen people of the city of Nineveh, and warn them to repent or they would be destroyed. Jonah didn't want to do it so he took a ship going away from the presence of the Lord. A great storm then threatened the boat, and Jonah was identified as the cause of it, and thrown overboard. Then, a miracle happened, a fish swallowed him, saving him from drowning. He repented for three days while in the belly of the whale, and then was spit out onto dry land. Accepting his calling, he went to Nineveh and told them they had 40 days to repent, or be destroyed. They repented. Jonah fulfilled the work (but even then wasn't happy about it), and God blessed him.
Jonah is every man and woman. The elements of this story could apply to each person on the Earth. Everyone is given a work to do, or a mission to perform. The plan was made before the world was even created, and everyone agreed to come to Earth and do their job. If everyone fulfills his mission, then we can be saved from death and hell, and may return, as individuals and as a group, to God in Heaven. The work is not all done by one person, everyone pitches in and performs his own tasks.
A personal mission
In the big picture, there was a plan made that would allow everyone to receive Eternal Life, not individually, but rather as a group, all the children of Adam can return to God and partake of life and exaltation. We each have jobs to do in order to carry-out the plan. We each were given a calling to provide a service to the group, and each is given the exact talents and abilities necessary to fulfill that calling. Before the world was even created we were shown our personal plan, and agreed to it. This is, in part, what qualified us to come to Earth.
We are not just sent to fritter-away our time here, seeing the sights, smelling the smells, and either enjoying our time here or working away to earn money. We are not just slaves to work for food, clothing and shelter, nor are we here to play with our toys all day. We must be about our Father's business. There is no retirement from this mission, except death. As long as we have breath in our lungs and a beating heart we have a job to do. We have a specific thing to do, that is unique to our talents and abilities, and nobody else will do it -- unless we reject our calling. We can always say, "No," in which case another will be called to do your work.
Agency
We are told that we have the ability to choose whatever we want on Earth. Actually, this isn't true. There are many things we cannot choose because we are unaware of them, or we don't have the talents needed to acquire them, or we are born into the wrong caste. We only really can choose between those things that are placed within our reach.
Ultimately, life isn't about choosing anything, but rather saying "yes" or "no" to our own mission. Whatever else we do is almost irrelevant. The only good we can ever do is our own work, that work which we agreed to while we were planning this life. There is no other work. There is no other good. Everything else is evil because it leads us away from our mission.
Resistance to your mission
Life is hard. When we get to Earth, we find it difficult to actually fulfill our promise to God. The mission we have to perform is difficult, and we are lazy. We want to make all sorts of excuses, trying to excuse ourselves from doing our work. We resist the guidance of the Holy Spirit, our conscience, which is constantly nagging at us to begin. We develop all sorts of reasons why we cannot do what we are called to do.
We run from our calling, like Jonah, because it's hard. Though we have been given the gifts we need, we are amazed by what it takes. It's a big mountain to overcome. We will need to work closely with the Lord in order to get it done. We will also need the help of others, but nobody can do our work for us, it is unique to us, and the others have their own work to do.
We find all sorts of distractions and reasons why we cannot do the work we were given. We blame others, such as our parents for not giving us all the tools we need. We blame our spouse for not helping us. We blame those who injure us in any way. It's their fault we cannot do our work.
One common distraction is church. We are so busy "doing good," by keeping all the commandments and doing all the work in church that we don't have time to fulfill our real mission. There is nothing more insidious than doing good in order to avoid our real work. The "good" we do is evil, in this case. We cannot really do good unless we are doing exactly what we are commanded by God to do, personally fulfilling the work He gives to us (which may include serving in His church).
Satan's mission
We are often told that the devil only wants us to do evil, to kill and hate, rob and maim. In reality, Satan has followers that send all sorts of distractions to keep us from doing the work God has given us to do. The purpose of the devil is to destroy the work of God. If he can prevent us from performing our mission, then he can frustrate the plan, and the work of God would be destroyed. He does this by distracting us in so many ways away from our personal mission:
We find we have desires of the flesh, needs that must be filled. Jesus explained to His disciples, "And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful." (Mark 4:19) We can let all our wants and needs of the flesh distract us from our mission, and most do.
Other people distract us constantly. We may have friends, family, or co-workers who take our time and prevent us from doing our work. We can become so inwardly focused on every ache and pain that we spend every effort to work on our physical health in order to avoid having to do our mission in life. Fear can paralyze us to prevent us from our work. Fear is evil. The devil always works through fear.
Thus, evil is not only the destructive things we do to others, but even more so it's everything that prevents us from doing our work. This is the work of Satan, and he is very good at fulfilling all he was chosen to do.
Christ's mission
The word "Christ" refers to "Messiah," meaning, "the anointed One." There is One who had a specific mission to be the Son of God, and to take upon Himself our sins, weaknesses, and transgressions. This is a specific mission that only He could do, it had to be an "infinite atonement" because nobody else had the power, or was qualified to do it. Others may have been able to teach the Gospel. Others may have been able to perform miracles. Others may have been able to organize a church. But only He could perform the great Atonement for all mankind. Only He could suffer for the sins of others. Nobody else had that ability. Because He was the Son of God, He was uniquely given the gifts and talents needed to do the work He was called to do.
When He had finished his work, as He hung on the cross, "he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost." (John 19:30) What was finished? His work on the Earth. When he then came to the Nephites three days later he said, "And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning." (3 Nephi 11:11) Now, in the past tense, He tells them that He has done His work. He has finished His mission. He did all He said He would do.
Though He was hated, mocked, and rejected by the establishment of the Jews and Romans, yet He went ahead and did what He was commanded to do -- every jot and every tittle. He left nothing undone, but drank the bitter cup to the dregs, fulfilling all that He was given before the foundation of the world.
Fulfilling our mission
We don't need to do what Christ did, suffering for the sins of the world, but rather follow Him in performing the work we were given, and agreed to before the world was created. If we follow Satan, then we will waste our time here on Earth, no matter what we're doing. If we follow Christ, we will be guided to do what we came here to do. We all have our contribution to humanity. We all have our art to give. We have in our hearts and minds something to raise the level of mankind in some large or small way. It's hard. It's always hard because though we have a gift or talent to provide a specific service, we cannot do it alone. We must have help.
Help comes to us in many ways, through other people, angels, or in the direct intervention of God. We cannot fail. Once we take on our mission, focus on it, and put all of our energy towards it, there is no way to stop us. All of Earth and hell could combine against us, but could not deter us from accomplishing what we came to do.
Heeding the call
We start out with the calling. Once we are called, we need to repent of all our sins, or all of the things that distract us from our calling, turning to God, putting our faith in Him that, though it is hard, we will be able to finish the work with His help. We then make a commitment, to put our whole being, body and soul, to sacrifice all our time and talents to doing the work. At this point we are given help from above. The Holy Spirit of God comes to us to guide us on our path.
We can go directly to our mission, or we can take the long way. The Children of Israel had the option of going directly into the Promised Land from Egypt, but they were scared so they had to wander in the desert for 40 years first. Likewise, we can be led directly to our mission, and find joy in serving God and our fellow-men, or we can wander around for years, hoping that we won't have to do it.
When we repent and accept our calling we are no longer children, tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine. We are now on the Lord's errand. The Holy Ghost tells us what to do to accomplish every part of our mission. We no longer have needs in the flesh, for He will provide for our needs. We let go of the things of the world, money, food, clothing, homes, lands, and even people -- mother, father, children and spouse. All we need is given to us. Every tool we need will be provided. Like a surgeon in the operating room, the only one who can perform that operation, has others standing beside him, giving him exactly what he needs in order for him to finish the surgery, the Lord provides all we need for us to complete our work.
Failure
We cannot fail. There is no way we can not do the work we are given if we will just start. The only way to fail is to run away, like Jonah. We will be brought back. We will be put in positions that make us face our fears and choose to do our work. Nevertheless, we can always opt out and run away. We can refuse to do it -- this is the only failure.
Faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, gives us the assurance that we cannot fail. We know that we don't have the power to do what we are called to do, but with His help we can actually accomplish it. Our job requires that we put our trust in Him, listen to Him, follow the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and take the step into the Jordan River before the water will part and let us through. It will always seem like failure is imminent, but each time help will come to keep us on track. There is no way to fail, if we try.
In fact, we don't really even have to try because, like Jonah, if we run the other way, we will be stopped. We will then shake a fist at God and ask, "WHY?" when bad things happen to us. Until we repent and do the work we came to do, the Heavens will combine against us, but we won't die, we'll linger in purgatory, wander in the desert, or otherwise feel like our life is a waste. The mission will be before us until the end of our lives. If we die without fulfilling our work, judgment will come upon us.
Final Judgment
We think we will be judged for our sins of omission or commission, the candy we stole from the store, or people we hurt, but really we are judged for not doing what we agreed to do, our work. That's why good and evil cannot be defined by an action. If our work requires that we kill people, the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill" is irrelevant. If we are commanded to steal, plunder, hurt, or otherwise commit "crimes" it is counted as good if it is the work we need to do. Only the specific, individual commandments given by God to each of us independently are important. If we are told to kill, and we don't do it, that is a sin.
On the other hand, all the "good" things we do that keep us from our work is evil. If Mother Theresa was not called to help the orphans in India (which I believe she was) then all her work with them would be counted as evil to her. Nothing excuses us from performing our real work.
The reason we have scriptures and standards and "ten commandments" is to form a basis for learning. Every commandment in the scriptures is a guideline for the children to learn on. They are for the unschooled. Once we receive our calling we no longer need the general guidelines because we're guided by God through every step of our mission. To a great poet, the rules of grammar don't apply. To a great surgeon the rules of cutting bodies don't apply. To one who is called by God, none of the commandments necessarily apply. When a person accepts his calling, and commits to it, the guidance of the Holy Ghost is all that is needed. To him, the commandments are whatever the Spirit tells him to do. Period. Good and evil are defined only by our personal communications with God.
Accepting our fate
When I was eight years old I decided that nobody at home loved me, and I was going to run away. I made a peanut butter sandwich, put it in a lunch bag, and started walking without telling anyone. I got to the end of the street and realized that I had never been this far from home on my own. I didn't know where to go. I felt lost. It wasn't familiar to me. So, I turned around and went home, never even eating the sandwich. Though we may run away, and resist our calling, we cannot go far. The Lord is always right there, and will bring us back, even if it takes being swallowed by a whale!
We can do it. We must do it. We go to motivational seminars telling us that we can do it, but we don't know what "it" is. "It" is our work, our mission, our duty, our art, and our gift to mankind. Yes, we can do it, but we cannot do it alone. We must start by being called. When you are called, accept the calling.
The motivation we need is to give in to the guidance of the Lord. We need to be motivated to listen to the Spirit and do as we're told, putting our trust in God. M. Scott Peck, MD, in his book, The Road Less Traveled, begins by saying that life is difficult. He says that when we receive our calling, it isn't usually an "Oh Boy!" experience, rather it's usually an "Oh CRAP!" experience. Our mission will always be hard. There is always fear involved. We must face the fears and move ahead in faith, going through the fear with courage. In fact, the fear itself is a good indicator that it is our work. Those things we procrastinate are the most important things we do.
Peace, Joy, and fulfillment
Mark Twain said, "The two most important days in a man's life are the day he is born, and the day he finds out why." Knowing why we exist is the path to happiness. If we never know why, we cannot fulfill our purpose, and will find no joy in life. Those who accept their calling right away, and pursue it with vigor, have happy, easy lives. They find fulfillment. They aren't continually searching for their right place, pointing fingers at others, blaming and creating conflict. They have the assurance they're in the right place at all times. They have self-esteem. They connect with others. They have peace. Jesus said,
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)
Knowing that we are on the errand of the Lord, and that He will guide us and give us help, strength, and gifts that we need to do our work is empowering. Knowing we cannot fail relieves all stress. When we are doing our work, fulfilling our mission, or living our dreams, then, and only then, will we have peace, rest, and fulfillment. When we fill the measure of our own creation, we find joy therein.
Jonah is every man and woman. The elements of this story could apply to each person on the Earth. Everyone is given a work to do, or a mission to perform. The plan was made before the world was even created, and everyone agreed to come to Earth and do their job. If everyone fulfills his mission, then we can be saved from death and hell, and may return, as individuals and as a group, to God in Heaven. The work is not all done by one person, everyone pitches in and performs his own tasks.
A personal mission
In the big picture, there was a plan made that would allow everyone to receive Eternal Life, not individually, but rather as a group, all the children of Adam can return to God and partake of life and exaltation. We each have jobs to do in order to carry-out the plan. We each were given a calling to provide a service to the group, and each is given the exact talents and abilities necessary to fulfill that calling. Before the world was even created we were shown our personal plan, and agreed to it. This is, in part, what qualified us to come to Earth.
We are not just sent to fritter-away our time here, seeing the sights, smelling the smells, and either enjoying our time here or working away to earn money. We are not just slaves to work for food, clothing and shelter, nor are we here to play with our toys all day. We must be about our Father's business. There is no retirement from this mission, except death. As long as we have breath in our lungs and a beating heart we have a job to do. We have a specific thing to do, that is unique to our talents and abilities, and nobody else will do it -- unless we reject our calling. We can always say, "No," in which case another will be called to do your work.
Agency
We are told that we have the ability to choose whatever we want on Earth. Actually, this isn't true. There are many things we cannot choose because we are unaware of them, or we don't have the talents needed to acquire them, or we are born into the wrong caste. We only really can choose between those things that are placed within our reach.
Ultimately, life isn't about choosing anything, but rather saying "yes" or "no" to our own mission. Whatever else we do is almost irrelevant. The only good we can ever do is our own work, that work which we agreed to while we were planning this life. There is no other work. There is no other good. Everything else is evil because it leads us away from our mission.
Resistance to your mission
Life is hard. When we get to Earth, we find it difficult to actually fulfill our promise to God. The mission we have to perform is difficult, and we are lazy. We want to make all sorts of excuses, trying to excuse ourselves from doing our work. We resist the guidance of the Holy Spirit, our conscience, which is constantly nagging at us to begin. We develop all sorts of reasons why we cannot do what we are called to do.
We run from our calling, like Jonah, because it's hard. Though we have been given the gifts we need, we are amazed by what it takes. It's a big mountain to overcome. We will need to work closely with the Lord in order to get it done. We will also need the help of others, but nobody can do our work for us, it is unique to us, and the others have their own work to do.
We find all sorts of distractions and reasons why we cannot do the work we were given. We blame others, such as our parents for not giving us all the tools we need. We blame our spouse for not helping us. We blame those who injure us in any way. It's their fault we cannot do our work.
One common distraction is church. We are so busy "doing good," by keeping all the commandments and doing all the work in church that we don't have time to fulfill our real mission. There is nothing more insidious than doing good in order to avoid our real work. The "good" we do is evil, in this case. We cannot really do good unless we are doing exactly what we are commanded by God to do, personally fulfilling the work He gives to us (which may include serving in His church).
Satan's mission
We are often told that the devil only wants us to do evil, to kill and hate, rob and maim. In reality, Satan has followers that send all sorts of distractions to keep us from doing the work God has given us to do. The purpose of the devil is to destroy the work of God. If he can prevent us from performing our mission, then he can frustrate the plan, and the work of God would be destroyed. He does this by distracting us in so many ways away from our personal mission:
- The lusts of the flesh
- Other people
- Doing good
- Laziness
- Work, or the cares of the world
- Drugs and alcohol
- Sickness or pain
We find we have desires of the flesh, needs that must be filled. Jesus explained to His disciples, "And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful." (Mark 4:19) We can let all our wants and needs of the flesh distract us from our mission, and most do.
Other people distract us constantly. We may have friends, family, or co-workers who take our time and prevent us from doing our work. We can become so inwardly focused on every ache and pain that we spend every effort to work on our physical health in order to avoid having to do our mission in life. Fear can paralyze us to prevent us from our work. Fear is evil. The devil always works through fear.
Thus, evil is not only the destructive things we do to others, but even more so it's everything that prevents us from doing our work. This is the work of Satan, and he is very good at fulfilling all he was chosen to do.
Christ's mission
The word "Christ" refers to "Messiah," meaning, "the anointed One." There is One who had a specific mission to be the Son of God, and to take upon Himself our sins, weaknesses, and transgressions. This is a specific mission that only He could do, it had to be an "infinite atonement" because nobody else had the power, or was qualified to do it. Others may have been able to teach the Gospel. Others may have been able to perform miracles. Others may have been able to organize a church. But only He could perform the great Atonement for all mankind. Only He could suffer for the sins of others. Nobody else had that ability. Because He was the Son of God, He was uniquely given the gifts and talents needed to do the work He was called to do.
When He had finished his work, as He hung on the cross, "he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost." (John 19:30) What was finished? His work on the Earth. When he then came to the Nephites three days later he said, "And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning." (3 Nephi 11:11) Now, in the past tense, He tells them that He has done His work. He has finished His mission. He did all He said He would do.
Though He was hated, mocked, and rejected by the establishment of the Jews and Romans, yet He went ahead and did what He was commanded to do -- every jot and every tittle. He left nothing undone, but drank the bitter cup to the dregs, fulfilling all that He was given before the foundation of the world.
Fulfilling our mission
We don't need to do what Christ did, suffering for the sins of the world, but rather follow Him in performing the work we were given, and agreed to before the world was created. If we follow Satan, then we will waste our time here on Earth, no matter what we're doing. If we follow Christ, we will be guided to do what we came here to do. We all have our contribution to humanity. We all have our art to give. We have in our hearts and minds something to raise the level of mankind in some large or small way. It's hard. It's always hard because though we have a gift or talent to provide a specific service, we cannot do it alone. We must have help.
Help comes to us in many ways, through other people, angels, or in the direct intervention of God. We cannot fail. Once we take on our mission, focus on it, and put all of our energy towards it, there is no way to stop us. All of Earth and hell could combine against us, but could not deter us from accomplishing what we came to do.
Heeding the call
We start out with the calling. Once we are called, we need to repent of all our sins, or all of the things that distract us from our calling, turning to God, putting our faith in Him that, though it is hard, we will be able to finish the work with His help. We then make a commitment, to put our whole being, body and soul, to sacrifice all our time and talents to doing the work. At this point we are given help from above. The Holy Spirit of God comes to us to guide us on our path.
We can go directly to our mission, or we can take the long way. The Children of Israel had the option of going directly into the Promised Land from Egypt, but they were scared so they had to wander in the desert for 40 years first. Likewise, we can be led directly to our mission, and find joy in serving God and our fellow-men, or we can wander around for years, hoping that we won't have to do it.
When we repent and accept our calling we are no longer children, tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine. We are now on the Lord's errand. The Holy Ghost tells us what to do to accomplish every part of our mission. We no longer have needs in the flesh, for He will provide for our needs. We let go of the things of the world, money, food, clothing, homes, lands, and even people -- mother, father, children and spouse. All we need is given to us. Every tool we need will be provided. Like a surgeon in the operating room, the only one who can perform that operation, has others standing beside him, giving him exactly what he needs in order for him to finish the surgery, the Lord provides all we need for us to complete our work.
Failure
We cannot fail. There is no way we can not do the work we are given if we will just start. The only way to fail is to run away, like Jonah. We will be brought back. We will be put in positions that make us face our fears and choose to do our work. Nevertheless, we can always opt out and run away. We can refuse to do it -- this is the only failure.
Faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, gives us the assurance that we cannot fail. We know that we don't have the power to do what we are called to do, but with His help we can actually accomplish it. Our job requires that we put our trust in Him, listen to Him, follow the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and take the step into the Jordan River before the water will part and let us through. It will always seem like failure is imminent, but each time help will come to keep us on track. There is no way to fail, if we try.
In fact, we don't really even have to try because, like Jonah, if we run the other way, we will be stopped. We will then shake a fist at God and ask, "WHY?" when bad things happen to us. Until we repent and do the work we came to do, the Heavens will combine against us, but we won't die, we'll linger in purgatory, wander in the desert, or otherwise feel like our life is a waste. The mission will be before us until the end of our lives. If we die without fulfilling our work, judgment will come upon us.
Final Judgment
We think we will be judged for our sins of omission or commission, the candy we stole from the store, or people we hurt, but really we are judged for not doing what we agreed to do, our work. That's why good and evil cannot be defined by an action. If our work requires that we kill people, the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill" is irrelevant. If we are commanded to steal, plunder, hurt, or otherwise commit "crimes" it is counted as good if it is the work we need to do. Only the specific, individual commandments given by God to each of us independently are important. If we are told to kill, and we don't do it, that is a sin.
On the other hand, all the "good" things we do that keep us from our work is evil. If Mother Theresa was not called to help the orphans in India (which I believe she was) then all her work with them would be counted as evil to her. Nothing excuses us from performing our real work.
The reason we have scriptures and standards and "ten commandments" is to form a basis for learning. Every commandment in the scriptures is a guideline for the children to learn on. They are for the unschooled. Once we receive our calling we no longer need the general guidelines because we're guided by God through every step of our mission. To a great poet, the rules of grammar don't apply. To a great surgeon the rules of cutting bodies don't apply. To one who is called by God, none of the commandments necessarily apply. When a person accepts his calling, and commits to it, the guidance of the Holy Ghost is all that is needed. To him, the commandments are whatever the Spirit tells him to do. Period. Good and evil are defined only by our personal communications with God.
Accepting our fate
When I was eight years old I decided that nobody at home loved me, and I was going to run away. I made a peanut butter sandwich, put it in a lunch bag, and started walking without telling anyone. I got to the end of the street and realized that I had never been this far from home on my own. I didn't know where to go. I felt lost. It wasn't familiar to me. So, I turned around and went home, never even eating the sandwich. Though we may run away, and resist our calling, we cannot go far. The Lord is always right there, and will bring us back, even if it takes being swallowed by a whale!
We can do it. We must do it. We go to motivational seminars telling us that we can do it, but we don't know what "it" is. "It" is our work, our mission, our duty, our art, and our gift to mankind. Yes, we can do it, but we cannot do it alone. We must start by being called. When you are called, accept the calling.
The motivation we need is to give in to the guidance of the Lord. We need to be motivated to listen to the Spirit and do as we're told, putting our trust in God. M. Scott Peck, MD, in his book, The Road Less Traveled, begins by saying that life is difficult. He says that when we receive our calling, it isn't usually an "Oh Boy!" experience, rather it's usually an "Oh CRAP!" experience. Our mission will always be hard. There is always fear involved. We must face the fears and move ahead in faith, going through the fear with courage. In fact, the fear itself is a good indicator that it is our work. Those things we procrastinate are the most important things we do.
Peace, Joy, and fulfillment
Mark Twain said, "The two most important days in a man's life are the day he is born, and the day he finds out why." Knowing why we exist is the path to happiness. If we never know why, we cannot fulfill our purpose, and will find no joy in life. Those who accept their calling right away, and pursue it with vigor, have happy, easy lives. They find fulfillment. They aren't continually searching for their right place, pointing fingers at others, blaming and creating conflict. They have the assurance they're in the right place at all times. They have self-esteem. They connect with others. They have peace. Jesus said,
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)
Knowing that we are on the errand of the Lord, and that He will guide us and give us help, strength, and gifts that we need to do our work is empowering. Knowing we cannot fail relieves all stress. When we are doing our work, fulfilling our mission, or living our dreams, then, and only then, will we have peace, rest, and fulfillment. When we fill the measure of our own creation, we find joy therein.
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