Last week I watched a video of two women playing music. One was dressed in tight-fitting pants, and the other had on a long dress. As I watched, I realized that I could focus on one as a musician, and a person, while the other was focused on the body. The woman in pants was very attractive, slim, and good-looking, which was how I characterized her. The woman in the dress was also pretty, but my focus for her was on her music, her expressions, and her style. In other words, seeing the shape of the body of the first woman took the focus off of her as a person, and on to her body.
Men are attracted to women. Men want a woman. Men are not complete without a woman. This is a truth that is Eternal. There is no way around that, it is immutable. It has been around since there have been men and women. The evolutionist sees this as simply the need to reproduce, but there is so much more. The body of a woman represents salvation from loneliness. Her form is attractive. To look upon a woman who is attractive is just like a magnet. A beautiful woman inspires awe in a man. She is awesome! This attraction represents an absolute truth: that it is not good for man to be alone, he is nothing without a woman. The two of them together form a complete being. He needs her to complete him; she is essential to his salvation.
A man sees an attractive woman as a potential mate. The attraction makes him feel like she can save him. She is his hope for fulfillment of the need for unity. Her body represents that need. His need is so strong that simply seeing her form creates desire. Seeing her shape elicits the need. Seeing her skin feels like intimacy; it’s so close he can almost touch it. It instills need within him that he doesn’t even recognize, a need to possess what he sees.
Addiction
Last week I was in Las Vegas at a convention, and as I was going to the morning meeting a man asked for money for breakfast. There was a Denny's nearby so I took him to breakfast and asked him about his life. His name is Tommy. He sleeps in casinos because it’s very cold outside, and they’re open all night. He’s 61, a welder, but disabled, and has lots of family in Oklahoma City, but none in Las Vegas. He came to the city 23 years earlier to make his fortune so he could go back and take care of his children. He has over ten grandchildren whom he has never met, and a few great grandchildren. He needs to go home with a million dollars, and is just waiting for his big break. He has a perfect system to win on the craps table, but he just needs a thousand dollars to be able to work it. He would then make his million, and go home to his family, being able to give them what they want, as he perceives it. He just needs enough money. It’s so close, he can taste it!
Women capitalize on the trait they all possess, this power they have over men. They always have. They use their body to extract what they want from a man, his money, his time, his attention, his efforts, without really caring about him. Pornography is simply women offering their bodies for money, and then giving nothing in return. Men only get the picture, the form, but they get no substance. It’s empty -- a broken promise. He gets nothing. It’s like gaming to a gambler, it feels like it’s possible to connect with the dream, which are then shattered over and over again. But, the dream persists, in spite of being broken. The dream is beyond his power to crush because the need is real, and eternal, and achieving it seems so close. Many men get caught up in this trap and lose what’s really important in life.
Relationships between men and women in our society are too often based on using each other to get what we want. Women use men to get attention, and men use women for gratification of sexual desires. Each has needs to fill, and each selfishly seeks to fill their own needs at the expense of the other. At the core of immodesty, a woman is trying to use her body to attract a man. This is just like pornography, only she isn’t necessarily looking for money, she does it for his attention. A woman needs attention, which makes her feel like a connection is possible. Thus, the two needs fit like a hand in a glove, only it isn’t really love, it is really selfish, using the other to fill their own needs.
The power of revealing dress
Immodest dress takes the focus off the person who is the woman, and puts it on the object that is her body. A woman doesn’t even need to say a single word, and she can be the object of a man’s desire. Women complain when they get what they want, attention, that they are seen as objects. Men look on a beautiful woman as something he needs, like money, a car, or anything in the world. The woman is more than just a car, but she is still an object - she is her body when he sees it. She is defined by what he sees. The power of immodesty only gets her something that seems like what she needs, but never the real thing.
If a couple marries based on this attraction or dream, they often struggle. As the object turns into a person over time, many couples realize that the other cannot fill the need. They decide that they don’t need the other, and “fall out of love.” Coming to know the person may split them apart, if they aren’t compatible. He will see the body of another woman, and feel like she could be a better fit. Thus, a man can go from body to body, never finding "the one" because he never gets to know the person. This is just as addicting as pornography; it feels like it could fill the need, if he could just find the right body.
Modesty
On the other hand, modest dress hides a woman’s body from the man so he sees her as a person instead of an object. If he doesn’t see her form, he may still be attracted to her, but instead of her body, he will see her, and get to know her, as a person. The attention shifts from the body to the person. The woman may then get a more desirable attention because to him she is a person, instead of an object. At the same time, the man gets a more desirable connection with a woman, instead of just a body. As he gets to know her personality, he can be very attracted to who she is, instead of what she is. She is no longer an object to fill his need for connection, but a person who can fill his need for a connection. They still fall in love based on their own needs, but the object of love is different, being “who” instead of “what.”
Modesty is an important part of creating relationships that last. The couple that falls in love with each other as people instead of objects would seem to have a stronger foundation. If they fall in love with the person, they would more likely continue to grow in that love. In this way, the more modest a woman is, the less she reveals about her body, the more likely she is to form a loving and permanent connection. She would only reveal her body to him after they are married, and he can continue to fall in love with her each time they come together, and in between, he still loves her as a person. The man gets what he really wants and needs, a real woman to complete him, the whole thing -- body and soul. And, the woman gets what she wants and needs, his continued attention, love and devotion. Both become complete, finding fulfillment in unity and love. This is the power of modesty.
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