Last week my four-year-old grandson asked, “Is Jack a boy dog, or a girl dog?” I replied, “He’s a boy.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and snickered, “Oh, that means he has a penis.” It’s surprising how many people are less intelligent than a four-year-old. There is a lot of talk about pronouns in the world today because of a philosophy that gender is learned behavior, and not an intrinsic part of our being. Even adults are saying they are “gender-confused” if they feel like they want to be different than the gender they were born with. Children are asked if they want to be referred to as he-him, or she-her. Some say they are non-binary, with the pronouns they-them, rejecting gender altogether. Of course, wishing does not make it so; our genetic material that fills the nucleus of every living cell in our bodies tells us that gender is an intrinsic part of being human -- or dog.
With prophetic foreknowledge, in 1995 the prophets and apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gave a proclamation to the world on the family which gives essential understanding about gender:
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
The Family, A Proclamation to the World, 1995
This indicates that gender is eternal. This is not a temporal assignment. I was a boy before I was born, and will continue to be a man after I die. The document also refers to “heavenly parents,” meaning mother as well as father. In 1845 Eliza R. Snow published a poem entitled “My Father in Heaven” that includes the lines:
In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare;
Truth is reason—truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.
O My Father, Hymns, no. 292
The concept that a human being, as well as God, is male and female is found throughout the scriptures, and may explain why the pronouns he-him refer to all humans, and even to God Himself. Isaiah gives a lesson on how God looks at gender pronouns:
Look unto Abraham your father, and unto Sarah that bare you: for I called him alone, and blessed him, and increased him.
Isaiah 51:2
This sentence refers to two people, a man and a woman, and then uses the pronoun “him alone” because Abraham and Sarah were married. This is a key to the scriptures. The word “man” is used, referring to a married couple, a complete human. A human being is not complete as an individual man or woman, it is both that make up the “man,” or complete human. Thus, when the word “man” or the pronouns “he, him” are used, it refers to a complete human being: a man and a woman together, bound by a covenant, who become one. They are not two, but one, like Abraham and Sarah, or Adam and Eve.
Jesus explained the essential nature of the covenant of marriage in no uncertain terms. Marriage is not intended to be “serial monogamy” nor “until death do you part.”
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Mark 10:7-12
It is clear that to God, they are one, and are not two separate people. If a couple separates and tries to form a bond with someone else, they are in sin, being against the will of God.
In the world of ants, we might think an individual ant is an organism, separate from the others. However, if we separate out one ant it cannot survive, but will just die. The organism is the colony, which all work together form a single unit. Only the colony can survive, reproduce, and continue; individual ants are not complete or whole unless they are part of a colony.
This is the way God sees humans. Each individual is loved as a separate individual, but to God there is no complete man separate from a woman. In joining together and becoming one in a bond of matrimony they become a perfect human being. Jesus commanded everyone to be perfect, not as individuals, but as a complete human.
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Matthew 5:48
All are commanded by Jesus Christ to be perfect, or complete, which necessarily includes a man and a woman joined together as one.
To be as God is includes being complete with a man and a woman, which is called “Man.”
Behold, I am God; Man of Holiness is my name;
Moses 7:35
God, who refers to Himself as a Man, is a man and a woman -- which is a Man. When He created Adam and Eve, He created “them” in “His” image, “male and female.”
This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
Genesis 5:1-2
The creation of “man” or “Adam” is both male and female. Then, the woman was taken out of the man, and “they, them” were formed, separate, single, individual -- and incomplete. Like an individual ant being taken out of the colony.
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2:21-24
As the ant cannot survive without the colony, the man and the woman are not independent entities, but need each other. Their purpose is to become one individual, a Man, capitalized to indicate that it is a man and a woman together. Until they fulfill that purpose, they feel empty and unfulfilled. This separation is what brought death to the world.
The Root Cause of All Evil:
After Adam was created, the Lord defined evil:
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;
Genesis 2:18
Good is defined as the will of God, and whatever is “not good” is evil. The cause of wickedness of the world includes the separation of a man and a woman from each other, being alone. This separation is contrary to the nature of God, and is a reason why evil exists in the world.
For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam,
Mosiah 3:19
The need for men and women to be complete and whole causes them to feel lonely. But, rather than find their mate, each tries to fill this need with the things of the world including illicit sex, drugs, and all that is evil. People become alcoholics and addicts of all kinds because of the separation and loneliness. To some, it feels like wealth will fill the need, but money cannot buy happiness. To others, it seems like an intimate connection would fill the need, but it is always transitory; prostitution, rape, homosexuality, and all forms of lasciviousness come from the need to be whole. Also, people who want fame and power are looking for connection with others, however it is misguided because even if everyone in the world loves me, I still need my spouse to complete me. Food is also used to fill the emptiness inside, feeling hungry and having a meal, but then in a few hours being hungry again. There is no end to the need when it isn’t filled properly. Trying to fill that need in the wrong way also leads to mental illness -- depression comes from hopelessness of not being able to fill the emptiness.
Thus, the world is at odds with God. The world wants to separate the male and female, and try to make each one whole or complete without the other. They even try to make a woman like a man, and a man like a woman, as if either one could be both. The world is filled with “gender confusion” not even knowing how to define the term, and not being aware of basic biology: that it takes a man and a woman to make a single organism. Either one of them alone has no power to reproduce, and, like the ant separated from the colony, they will die alone.
Problems in the family also stem from this same issue. A husband feels lonely because he cannot connect with his wife. The wife feels lonely for her husband. They are married, but living parallel lives, not fulfilling the commandment to become one. Intimacy is hard because it is scary; the basic need makes one vulnerable. They must develop trust, sometimes over many years, to be able to come together. This process is not easy, and many give up. Statistically, about half of marriages end in divorce, but it doesn’t need to be that way.
Partners in Life
Marriage can be fulfilling and happy if the couple is willing to work at becoming one. They learn to trust because each will be faithful and love. As they trust they develop love. Love is putting the other first by sacrificing my own needs and desires. I give up my fantasies to serve my wife. These skills of trust and love are developed through continuous work and prayer. They are not automatic. A couple decides to become partners first, and then they may become one.
I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.
Doctrine and Covenants 38:27
Unity makes them a Man. Just because the word “man,” and the pronouns “he, his” are used does not mean the woman is a lesser partner. They are equal partners in the Man. Eve is equal to Adam. Sarah is equal to Abraham. Abraham is not complete, whole, or perfect without Sarah. There is not one without the other so neither can have mastery over the other. They are one.
Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 11:11
Any human is not “in the Lord” without a united man and woman. They are one flesh, not two. Thus, the Lord refers to “them” using: “man, he, him.”
As the man loses himself in the Lord, the woman loses herself in the man. God wants Men. He wants perfect Men. He wants complete Men. The woman becomes part of the Man, to return to wholeness. The three form a triangle that at first has the three points far away -- a big triangle. As the points come together, the triangle gets smaller, ultimately ending in a unity with God. This is the purpose of life, the reason we exist. Unity is happiness. It is being complete. We know this intrinsically. We make our biggest parties for the joining of a man and a woman -- and feel sad when a couple separates. God’s purpose is to bring us back together, a man and a woman becoming one Man --- which is eternal life:
For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
Moses 1:39
God’s work is to give a Man -- a complete human -- eternal life. It is not to have men and women coming to Him separately, but together in perfect harmony. Since "the eternal life of man” is necessarily a man and a woman together in eternal union, the work of God is to be an eternal “Matchmaker” of sorts. Eternal life only happens with the union of a man and a woman bound together forever, so the highest ordinance in the House of the Lord is the sealing of a man and a woman for time and for all eternity. This is the re-creation of a perfect human that can have eternal life. They are “one flesh.” This union fulfills the destiny of Man, creating joy and happiness, as well as preventing all wickedness and evil, and ultimately bringing heaven.
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