Spiritual Intelligence

 Humility

Humility is spiritual intelligence. 

The more intelligent one is, the faster they understand concepts. 

The more humble one is, the faster they can grasp spiritual things. 

I am stuck in the world, wanting the things of the world, spending my time on getting money and what I wanted. It was all about me and my wants, needs, and desires. That has been my world. The change for me does not come easily. It has taken me many years and lots of hardship, from my point-of-view, to begin to think about the things of God. I didn’t know I needed Jesus for salvation because I was looking at salvation from a temporal perspective: money, sex, the honors of men. Those were my salvation. That is what I desire, deep in my heart. 

Money

I worked hard for money. I would work. I would be in a profession where I am paid well. I would have plenty of money so I could have peace. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I would be content. I would have security. I would trust in the money to get me what I wanted in life, including all the other desires of my heart. I use the laws of God to get the things of the world. I pay tithing so the Lord would bless me with money. I am so completely corrupt! 

Honor

I was brilliant and nice to others so I could receive their accolades. I studied hard. I was going to be the best doctor. I was going to heal. I would be like Jesus: to heal the sick, raise the dead, cause the blind to see, and the lame to walk. I would be world-renowned. People would come to me for healing. I wasn’t like those other doctors who just follow protocols, but rather would take each individual and find answers to their problems. They would get better. I would get glory. My own glory. I would be honored. People would acknowledge my superiority. I would ask the Lord to glorify me with the gift of healing. 

Sex

I would do my wife’s bidding for sex. “Women give sex for love, and men give love for sex.” “Happy wife, happy life.” I would make my wife happy by giving her money. She would love me. She would give me what I want. I would find fulfillment. I would not be lonely. I would feel connected. She would be the heart of my home. She would honor me. I would use the laws of God to assume that I would get all I want. I would postpone sexual intimacy for marriage, and then assume I deserved, merited, or had a right to daily sex with my wife. I am entitled by my piety. I would take care of her so I could get what I want. 

Religion

In my thoroughly corrupt state, everything revolves around getting my needs filled. I would use people to get what I want, and I would use God to get what I want. People go to church to get what they want. People join a religion to get what they want. Religion is corrupt. It isn’t about discovering and doing the will of God, but rather getting the things of the world, in the name of God. “The natural man is an enemy to God.” All the people who are enemies of God are going to church, why? To have faith that the Lord will give them what they want. To have hope in the things of the world. To love God because they believe with all their hearts that He will fill their needs. To be dependent on God for the things they want of the earth. The “successful” pastors tell people what they want to hear. They build big churches with thousands coming every week to hear a message that God will give them the things of the world that they want and need. Likewise, people leave the church, and religion, for the same reason: it’s not filling my needs. The whole thing is corrupt. “They have all gone astray. None doeth good, no not one.” 

Dumb-Ass

I am not spiritually intelligent. I am a dumb-ass, in the real sense of that world. The ass is dumb because it is not obedient. It goes its own way, pushing against the master, being stubborn and hard. I wandered in the desert for decades, trying to get my own needs filled, crying to the Lord to give me what I wanted like a 2-year-old child wanting a cookie. The Lord has been kind to me. He actually gave me cookies, and let me see that it wasn’t satisfying. 

Most of the people I know are not humble. It is a rare trait. They come to God under the same terms I do -- to get what they want. Humility is so rare. It is so rare in my world. I don’t see it anywhere. Everyone is clamoring for “the great and spacious building” and nobody is seeking “the tree of life.” Nobody wants to hold the iron rod through the desert. Most never have a change of heart, always desiring the things of the world, always struggling with their own will against the will of God. They are not “easy to be entreated” by the Spirit of God. They remain spiritual children, dependent and rebellious. They are sad for not getting their needs filled so they turn to Him for solace. They are told He will give them all they desire of Him. “Ask, and ye shall receive.” They assume that applies to the things of the world. 

Humility

There are those who are spiritually intelligent. In the Book of Mormon, King Lamoni and His family were all super intelligent. His father said it best: “I will give away all my sins to know thee.” And he did. He was willing to give half his kingdom to spare his own life when threatened by the sword of Ammon, but was willing to give up his whole kingdom to know God, and he did. He made that sacrifice. All of his people were willing to lay down their weapons and be slaughtered, making the ultimate sacrifice of the world. They were all spiritually intelligent because they changed quickly and completely. This is spiritual intelligence. They got it quickly and changed completely. Later, we are told that all of them remained true and “never did fall away.” 

The reason I have wandered so long in the wilderness of Sinai, a barren wasteland with nothing to offer, is because I am not humble. I do not have spiritual intelligence. I am not just ignorant, but my heart is not in the right place. I don't get it. I did not get a mighty change of heart like Alma, Alma the elder, King Lamoni, and the people of Ammon because my heart was groping for the great and spacious building all the time I was supposedly “seeking the Lord.” 

Pure in Heart

My heart still isn’t changed. I tell myself it’s getting there, but I do not have a pure heart. My heart still desires the things of the world, the exact same things I have battled all my life. I must work against my own desires. I put off the natural man, but he’s still there in my heart, still wanting the things of the world, still seeking money, still desiring sexual fulfillment, and still working for the honors of men. I have hope that some day my heart will get it. Not that I will be spiritually intelligent, not that I will have humility, it’s already too late for that. I didn’t get it quickly. The fact is, I’m not spiritually intelligent. I’m in my later years, and I still don’t have a pure heart that only wants the things of God. My desires are changing, I like to think; I am mostly seeking my desires of eternity, but deep-down I suppress the same desires of the world. Dumb!

I lament my stupidity. I envy the intelligence of Paul, who turned quickly to the Lord and suffered His will in all things. I envy the Lamanites, whose hearts were changed in an instant because they were so spiritually intelligent. I am not intelligent. I am slow. Retarded. I takes me a long time because I am not “easy to be entreated.” After 40 years of wandering in the desert, I’m still in the same place. My heart holds on for the world and all that is in it. Stupid! 

What Comes After Stupid

More analysis. More tracking progress. More self-reflection. More selfishness. The one who is truly humble is just changed, different, having a pure heart, not thinking about himself, his wants, his needs, his desires -- these aren’t a part of his vocabulary. Just the fact that I can see what I am, see into the corruption in my heart, and tell myself I'm getting better, is evidence that I don't have humility. I tell myself... what? That I'm getting humble? Ha! I still am not intelligent. When people with low IQ scores are interviewed, they see themselves as more intelligent than others. Everyone considers himself above average! I'm so humble because I can articulate my pride, haughtiness, and rebellious heart. What an oxymoron! The fact that I’m selfishly thinking of myself, the fact that my heart still desires the things of the world, is so much evidence that I’m not spiritually intelligent, and I have no way out of such a box. I am born with my spiritual IQ, and I will die with it. I could be the publican who beats his chest and says, “have mercy on me, a sinner!” but that leaves me in the same selfish place. I’m lost!

The Way

There is one way out. Jesus. He is the way. I would have the gift of charity, which “seeketh not her own.” Forget myself. Stop the introspection. Not even so much as looking up to God, but bow my head in my filthiness. It would take a miracle. The people of King Benjamin saw that miracle. Their hearts were changed completely to where they had “no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” If that is my desire, then I must pray as the people of King Benjamin, “And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.” (Mosiah 4:2) Jesus is the way, and there is no other way. I’ll never be spiritually intelligent, but He can make up for my low IQ. I need a miracle.