Treasures in Heaven

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)

Real treasures
I went to the Temple Tuesday and had a most unusual experience. I had been though an endowment session, and was doing my usual 5 initiatories. The last one was a man whose only known name was Pehr who was born in 1892. I remembered Heather telling me she could see the spirits who had their work done that day around her roommate after she got back from the Temple, and I wondered if I would have them to be with me as well. The instant I thought that, it was made clear to me that Pehr was now my friend, one of my "treasures in Heaven" because of what I had done for him that day -- he was so grateful.

I realized from this that assisting others to make and keep the required covenants with God is what constitutes "Treasures in Heaven." Bringing souls to Christ in any form -- a neighbor, friend, or colleague; those who have already died, even our own children -- is what makes us great in Heaven because "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." (D&C 18:10) Things are temporary; people are forever. Nephi counsels, "do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy." (2 Nephi 9:51) and, "But the laborer in Zion shall labor for Zion; for if they labor for money they shall perish." (2 Nephi 26:31)

Bear fruit
Laboring for Zion is working for the salvation of souls, the fruits of our labors. Jesus explains, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit." (John 15:1-2) We bear fruit when we help others to come to Christ in a myriad of ways: doing work for the dead, preaching the Gospel, teaching Sunday School, being "an example of the believers," or holding Family Home Evening. Our labors to perform in this life are those things that bring joy to the soul.

"And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!" (D&C 18:15-16)

The greatest service we can ever perform in the world is to bring others to Christ. Peter and John Whitmer were witnesses of the Golden Plates and otherwise assisted Joseph Smith to restore the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Yet, when they were independently praying to know what would be the greatest benefit, the Lord answered them in exactly the same way: "the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring souls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father. Amen." (D&C 16:6) After we are saved, we can then in turn help others to find salvation.

Some of the souls we bring to Christ will not even know us. I knew of one woman who was given a Book of Mormon and put it on the shelf. Many years later her daughter picked up the book and was converted to the Lord, but she never knew who gave her mom that book. God knows -- it's recorded. We also never know when our example is a shining light that helps people to see the Lord. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16) What's more, children, grandchildren and descendents ad infinitum may never know who introduced their ancestor to Christ. What we start here is an Eternal work, it goes on forever, even after we die, and our treasures continue to increase.

We can also lay up treasures by helping to save those who have passed this life. The work done in the Temple is real. There are real people who want, need, and appreciate this work being done for them. They wait patiently for their work to be done so they can move on. They need this to progress in the next life because they are held back by not having the covenants with God. They love and help those who assist them by finding their names, submitting them, and/or doing the ordinances for them. We will find joy in serving them as our treasures increase.

Remuneration
In life we expect a return on any investment of time or effort. In the end of the third chapter of Malachi, the Jews are complaining that they get nothing for serving the Lord. They look around and see those who are selfish getting what they want, and are happy, while the Jews are making sacrifices and "walking mournfully before the Lord." The Lord tells them through Malachi: "They shall be mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels... Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not." (Malachi 3:17-18) Payday doesn't come in this life; the judgment isn't until after we die. We are here to work, not to get paid. The Lord will give us what we need to accomplish the work He has given us to do, but nothing on Earth can be considered payment for our work here. We will only really know in the end, when the work is finished. 

It is imperative to understand that working for the Lord doesn't save us. Is there anything we can do to earn or merit the Atonement of Jesus Christ? The answer from the Scriptures is clearly, NO! We avail ourselves of His grace by coming to Him, making covenants with Him, and being obedient to Him. We repent of all our sins so that we can enter into the Kingdom of God, for no unclean thing can dwell with Him, but Christ even gives us the ability to repent. Grace means "unmerited benefits." What we can earn by our own efforts during our lives are these very "treasures in Heaven." 

Our "treasures in Heaven" bring joy to the soul both in this life and in the next. Thieves can steal our money, land, homes, cars or any possession we have, but there is no way to steal knowledge, priesthood, or covenants. The connections we make with God and others can never be corrupted, lost, or stolen. These are treasures beyond compare. Long after everything in the world has crumbled to dust we will enjoy the treasures we earned by working for the Lord.

He who dies the the most souls -- WINS!
There is a hierarchy in Heaven; some get more treasures than others. There are houses and mansions; there are greater and lesser things. There are also greater and lesser people. God is the greatest of all, and everyone is somewhere on the scale between Him and Satan, the lowest of all. How do we claw our way to the top? How do we earn a bigger mansion? How do we become "heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ?" (Romans 8:17) Jesus tells us, "But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant... and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted." (Matthew 23:11-12) So, the question becomes, How do we humble ourselves to be greater?

First, we must sacrifice all we desire in the world: money, power, control, lands, pleasures, food, houses, cars, husbands, wives, children, and so forth -- everything we want, need or desire must be burned on the altar of the Lord (at least symbolically, or in our hearts). 

Next, we do all the Lord tells us to do; we must "obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness." (Alma 57:21) 

Lastly, "men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward." (D&C 58:27-28) The reward is given for services rendered to God; "and the labourer is worthy of his reward." (1 Timothy 5:18) Bringing people to Christ is the best cause to be "anxiously engaged" in.

The first two prepare us to do His work. The better we are prepared, the more our time is worth. Those who have little education get little pay, whereas those who make a larger sacrifice and are more obedient are more valuable. The highest-paid people in Heaven are those who have the greatest faith and ability to save others. They develop gifts of the Spirit that help to "bring... unto Jesus many souls... because of the convincing power of God which is in them." (3 Nephi 28:29) 

The last one is where we actually earn our Heavenly gifts (yes, GIFTS!). We use the time, energy, means, and spiritual gifts God gives us to assist Him in His work, "to bring to pass the... eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39) As noted above, the actual payment is infinite for the smallest effort -- and it goes up from there (it is truly a gift). There is no end. It isn't like money were enough is enough and more than enough is a liability. More is just... more! It only gets better and better with no upper limit. This why it's better to spend your time and efforts to "lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven!"

Wickedness and Happiness

Alma, in speaking to his son, Corianton, was reprimanding him for leaving his missionary work and going after a harlot. He tells his son that "Wickedness never was happiness." With a greater understanding of the meaning of these two words, I can understand what he was saying. "Wickedness" is doing what I want. "Happiness" is reaching my full potential as a son of the most high God, Creator of Heaven and Earth. A modern translation of this phrase could be: "Doing what I want cannot help me reach my full potential."

Wickedness
We are "born in sin" because we have wants, needs, and desires which are not in accordance with the will of our Father in Heaven. "The natural man is an enemy to God..." (Mosiah 3:19) As we seek to fulfill these we are living in sin. Wickedness is not always evil, it is merely doing what comes naturally and trying to get what we want. Any sort of selfish or self-seeking behavior is wickedness. Our parents do things a certain way; we grow up with these traditions as if they are the right way to do things. Often, however, they aren't the will of God so they are "the wicked traditions of our fathers." (Alma 23:3) Our society has norms that we follow because we want to be accepted by them, but any behaviors that go against God's will are also "wicked traditions."

Remaining in our wickedness is not limited to "evil" things. It's true that we must give up all our evil, such as lying, cheating, stealing, killing, and so forth, but we may also be asked to sacrifice that which we consider to be "good." Having a family is good, generally, but not if it is not the Lord's will for us. Many people go against the will of the Lord because they don't want to give up their own desires. The Pharisees felt that they kept the Law of Moses with exactness and therefore had no sin. The Rich Young Ruler told Jesus, "All these I have kept from my youth!" But they still remained in wickedness because they weren't actually doing the will of God -- they were seeking after their own desires.

People often follow the Lord as long as they get what they want, but as soon as their own needs aren't being filled, they quit. They think that life is all about getting their needs met. They believe in God, but see Him as a filler of needs. Many pray sincerely for God to give them what they want, in essence asking Him to keep them in wickedness. At some point, though, He may say, "No" to help them out of their lost and fallen state, and they get angry and bitter that they didn't get what they wanted, thus remaining in wickedness.

Repentance

I have lived my life as a Pharisee, not understanding the meaning of "repentance." I sinned such as lying, cheating, and stealing to get what I wanted. I thought repentance was simply to stop doing these. I thought I was to obey the "Thou shalt not..." commandments. It was understood that I could, or should, continue to seek my own desires, but without lying or killing. However, I was wrong. Living the Ten Commandments, of course, is an imperative part of repentance, but is only half. The other half is to actually give up my selfishness. Repenting of all my sins means that I no longer do my own will at all. My dreams, wants, desires, appetites, and passions must all be sacrificed on the altar of God.

The story of Jonah is about a servant of God who decided not to do as the Lord asked. The consequence of his wickedness was to be thrown overboard into the water, and swallowed by a fish. But the Lord had mercy on him and he was still chosen to do that work, if he was willing. He did, and was blessed. He was a prophet, he was a servant of God, he had received a calling from the Lord so he knew the language of the Spirit and the Gospel. He was able to teach. His only need was to repent of doing his own will.

I have found that my feelings tell me when I am against the will of God. If I am angry, frustrated, scared, confused, depressed or anxious, I need to repent. Anger comes from unmet expectations, but rather than pray for what I want, repentance tells me to accept the will of the Lord and ask Him what He wants. I have to continually and consciously let go of what I want. The Lord helps by telling me what is important and what I can let go of.

For example, a large family has a certain amount of disorganization. People, especially children, are individuals and are inherently self-centered so bringing them together is difficult. As I cleaned the kitchen after people had left their dirty dishes all over I was getting frustrated. I wanted to yell at everyone to clean up after themselves, but the Lord softened my heart, telling me that I would damage relationships which are more important so I let go of my need for order, justice, and predictability. I don't believe anyone can repent without the help of the Lord.

Righteousness

After we have repented of all our sins and wickedness we are on "the straight and narrow path." We must be guided by the Holy Ghost in all things. Because we are no longer seeking what we want, we have to know the will of God in all things. This is the definition of a "righteous man." Living in righteousness is doing all things according to the Spirit of God. We must be able to know the will of God by studying the words of Christ. Nephi tells us that "the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do." (2 Nephi 32:3)

The second thing a righteous man must do is pray. Nephi explains: "But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul." (2 Nephi 32:9) Prayer is how we come to know God's will for us.

Our righteous desires are those things God wants us to do. When we have fully repented of all our sins our will matches that of the Lord. He is our guide and stay. He gives us all things, and we simply do His will, no matter what it is. There are many examples in the Scriptures of commandments given that go against other commandments. "Thou shalt not kill" Is one of the Ten Commandments given to Moses, but the Lord makes exceptions. Abraham was commanded to kill his son, Isaac. The Children of Israel were commanded to kill every living thing as they conquered the Land of Canaan. Nephi was commanded to kill Laban with his own sword. The point is, whatever the Lord commands is righteousness, and everything else is wickedness. Living a righteous life is simply living "by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4)

Happiness

The world of the wicked is narrowly defined by their needs, but they always find that getting what they want in life does not make them happy, in fact, on the contrary, they become bitter and angry. Parents who indulge their children in all their wants create very unhappy children, who often become indulgent and unhappy adults. Happiness is found in getting more than you want, which can only come by giving it up and becoming righteous.

Since they give up their own needs, the righteous are free from worry; they have no insecurity, anger, malice, or fear to cloud their enjoyment. They can love fully. Their hearts are pure. They can enjoy a connection with others and with God. They have all power because He does, and they are connected to Him by a bond that cannot be broken because they obey Him in all things. They can enjoy the light of day fully and completely. As David said, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." (Psalm 23:6)

This happens to all those who love the Lord, doing His will instead of their own, "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15) The Apostle Paul quotes Isaiah: "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9) The consequence of loving God is so good we couldn't even know what to ask for; it's better than anything we can even imagine -- happiness beyond compare. Those who remain in wickedness can never know this degree of happiness.

Stress Relief

As a physician I see perhaps 100 people per week with a wide variety of maladies.  One common thread running through a majority of them is stress.  I have been asked to give a talk on stress-induced illness so in the process I’m going to reveal health secrets that people pay me thousands of dollars to know.

Stress
Defining stress is very difficult because life is different for everyone. 

An ongoing study reported by Dr. Kabat-zin and colleagues at Cambridge University is very revealing on the sources of stress.  Periodic blood samples are taken for the purpose of measuring stress hormones.  People tend to stay within a certain range, and whenever there is a spike, they are asked what happened.  The answers are not surprising, “my dad died,” “I was in an accident,” “I lost my job,” and so forth.  All of them are significant life-changing events.  What’s interesting is that using the stress hormones as a measure of the amount of stress, there is little difference in how the person feels about the event.  The birth of a baby is about the same as the death of a loved-one.  Marriage is about the same as divorce.  Whether the experience is happy or sad, the amount of stress on the body is the same.  Stress is more simply defined as CHANGE!

There is one other aspect of stress.  I have a picture of two of my children going down a steep incline on a roller coaster.  One has her hands in the air and a smile on her face, obviously having fun.  The other has the most horrifying grimace with white knuckles clenching the safety bar.  Though these two are in the exact same environment, or the same change in altitude, they are obviously having different experiences.  One is joyful, the other stressed.

Stress is not entirely relative to our experience.  There is nothing in life that is intrinsically stressful.  All stress comes from within.  It’s not what happens to us, but what it means to us that creates the level of stress.

So, there are two ways to prevent stress:
1) Avoid all change.  Don’t allow any change in employment, death, marriage, births, technology, injury – any joy or sorrow.  Or,
2) Learn to enjoy the roller-coaster!  Since the first is technically impossible, I’m going to discuss the second.

Repentance
Avoiding stress creates a dilemma for those who desire to follow Christ because the second principle of the Gospel is change -- The word, “repentance” is synonymous with “change.”  Listen to the word of the Lord:  Mosiah 3:19

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

What could be more stressful than changing your very nature?  Everything that comes naturally to us must be sacrificed, burned up on the altar, and yielded to God.  I love the way King Benjamin says it because I can relate to “put off the natural man.”  Letting go of everything we want, need, desire or love is the heaviest of burdens to bear.  This is what is meant by “a broken heart and a contrite spirit.”

How?
How do we change?  How do we deal with the incredible stress of a broken heart?  How can we possibly bear this burden?  Jesus Christ tells us:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30

Hidden in this is the key to joyful, stress-free change.  It is found in verse 29.  Jesus tells us He is “meek and lowly of heart” and this brings rest to the soul.  I have hundreds of patients seeking rest – they just can’t get enough sleep to feel rested because it never works.  Rest actually comes from humility, the ability to accept change with gladness.

The Apostle Paul was a great example.  He took a dramatic change from persecutor of Christians to being their strongest advocate.  Lest you think he had it easy, when Ananias said, “I can’t bless him – he’s a bad man…"

But "The Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel:

For I will shew him how great things he must suffer for my name's sake."  Acts 9:15-16

Paul later recounts to the Corinthian saints some of those things he suffered:

2 Corinthians 11:24-30

“Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.

Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.  Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches...

If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.”

Paul wasn’t complaining, but rather gloried in his sufferings for Jesus Christ.  This is humility.

I’m going to tell you how to have a stress-free life – like Paul!

1)    King Benjamin tells us how: “Yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit.”  Do what God wants you to do instead of what you want to do.  This makes you “meek, humble, patient, [and] full of love.”

2)    Make and keep commitments.  Working towards goals gives a sense of accomplishment, and moving forward keeps stress down.

3)    Keep a schedule – a predictable routine maintains our stress hormone levels.  Whatever else is going on around you, there are habits you can maintain:

a.     Pray three times per day on your knees, like Daniel

                 b.     Search the scriptures every day, like Lehi

c.     Exercise regularly

d.     Eat only nourishing foods

e.     Write in a journal 

If you will be humble and prayerful before the Lord, “Willing to submit to all things the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [you],” then you will have a stress-free life in spite of all the changes that go on around you.  Change will happen.  You will encounter problems.  You will have burdens, but they don’t have to weigh you down. As noted by Helaman: 

Helaman 5:12

“And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.” 

I testify that Jesus Christ can lift your burdens and make them light.

Wickedness never was happiness

Alma, in speaking to his son, Corianton, was reprimanding him for leaving his missionary work and going after a harlot. He tells his son that "Wickedness never was happiness." With a greater understanding of the meaning of these two words, I can begin to understand what he was saying. "Wickedness" is doing what I want. Happiness is reaching my full potential as a son of the most high God, Creator of Heaven and Earth.

Wickedness
I am "born in sin" because I have wants, needs, and desires which are not in accordance with the will of my Father in Heaven. As I seek to fulfill these I am living in sin; I am a sinful man, or a wicked man. Wickedness is not evil, it is merely doing what comes naturally and trying to get what I want. Any sort of selfish or self-seeking behavior is wickedness.

Seeking what we want, living in sin, or remaining in our wickedness is not limited to "evil" things. It's true that we must give up all our evil, such as lying, cheating, stealing, killing, and so forth, but we may also be asked to sacrifice that which we consider to be "good." Having a family is good, generally, but not if it is not the Lord's will for us. Many people go against the will of the Lord because they don't want to give up their own desires. The Pharisees felt that they kept the Law of Moses with exactness and therefore had no sin. The Rich Young Ruler told Jesus, "All these I have kept from my youth!" They had repented of the evil, not doing that which was destructive, but they remained in wickedness because they weren't actually doing the will of God -- they were still seeking after their own desires.

People often follow the Lord as long as they get what they want, but as soon as their own needs aren't being filled, they quit. They think that life is all about getting their needs met. They believe in God, but see Him as a filler of needs. Many pray sincerely for God to give them what they want, asking Him to keep them in wickedness. At some point, though, He may say, "No" to help them out of their lost and fallen state, and they get angry and bitter that they didn't get what they wanted, thus remaining in wickedness.

Repentance

I have lived my life as a Pharisee, not understanding the meaning of "repentance." I would lie, cheat, and steal, committing all sorts of sins to get what I wanted. I thought repentance was simply to stop doing these. I thought I was to obey the "Thou shalt not..." commandments, but that I could, or should, continue to seek my own desires -- without lying or killing. This, of course, is an imperative part of repentance, but is only half. The other half is to actually give up my selfishness. Repenting of all my sins means that I no longer do my own will at all.

The story of Jonah is about a servant of God who decided not to do as the Lord asked. The consequence of his wickedness was to be thrown overboard into the water, and swallowed by a fish. But the Lord had mercy on him and he was still chosen to do that work, if he was willing. He did, and was blessed. He was a prophet, he was a servant of God, he had received a calling from the Lord so he knew the language of the Spirit and the Gospel. He was able to teach. His only need was to repent of doing his own will.

I have found that my feelings tell me when I am against the will of God. If I am angry, frustrated, scared, confused, depressed or anxious, I need to repent. I grew up without feelings. I thought the feelings were bad so I did my best to rid myself of them. The problem was that I could feel nothing: neither anger nor peace, neither sadness nor happiness. I was without feeling, chronically depressed -- just hopeless. Moreover, I could not feel the Spirit to receive revelation from God. What changed was love. I found love when I married the second time and a whole flood of feelings came to me, good and bad. I really enjoyed the "good" feelings of love, but what do I do with my anger and frustration over not getting what I want?

I found that anger comes from unmet expectations, but rather than pray for what I want, I am to accept the will of the Lord and ask Him what He wants. I had to consciously let go of what I wanted. The Lord helped by telling me what was important and what I could let go of. For example, a large family has a certain amount of disorganization. People, especially children, are individuals and are inherently self-centered so bringing them together is difficult. As I cleaned the kitchen after people had left their dirty dishes all over I was getting frustrated. I wanted to yell at everyone to clean up after themselves, but the Lord softened my heart, telling me that I would damage relationships which are more important. I know I was raised with the emphasis on doing everything right and I missed-out on the close relationships so I let go of my need for order, justice, and predictability. I don't believe anyone can repent without the help of the Lord.

Righteousness

After we have repented of all our sins and wickedness we are on "the straight and narrow path." We must be guided by the Holy Ghost in all things because we are no longer seeking what we want; we have to know the will of God in all things. This is the definition of a "righteous man." Living in righteousness is doing all things according to the Spirit of God. We must be able to know the will of God by studying the words of Christ. Nephi tells us that "the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do." (2 Nephi 32:3)

Our righteous desires are those things God wants us to do. When we have fully repented of all our sins our will matches that of the Lord. He is our guide and stay. He gives us all things, and we simply do His will, no matter what it is. There are many examples in the Scriptures of commandments given that go against other commandments. "Thou shalt not kill" Is one of the Ten Commandments given to Moses, but the Lord makes exceptions. Abraham was commanded to kill his son, Isaac. The Children of Israel were commanded to kill every living thing as they conquered the Land of Canaan. Nephi was commanded to kill Laban with his own sword. The point is, whatever the Lord commands is righteousness, and everything else is wickedness -- even if it is one of the Ten Commandments. Living a righteous life is simply living "by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4)

Happiness

Those who are living in wickedness are selfish and their world is narrowly defined by their needs. People always find that getting what they want in life does not make them happy, in fact, on the contrary, they become bitter and angry. Parents who indulge their children in all their wants create very unhappy children, who often become indulgent and unhappy adults. Happiness is found in getting more than you want. Isaiah explained the connection between righteousness and happiness, "For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him. Thou meetest him that rejoiceth and worketh righteousness, those that remember thee in thy ways." (Isaiah 64:4-5) 

Before I can "work righteousness," remembering Him in His ways, or doing the will of the Lord, I must let go of what I want. That is how I love the Lord. The Apostle Paul quotes Isaiah: "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9) This is more easily understood. Those who love God, do His will instead of their own, and are unable to even fathom the rewards. We don't know what we don't know so we can't even ask for it. It's better than anything we can even imagine.

The righteous have no insecurity, anger, malice, or fear to cloud their enjoyment. They can love fully. Their hearts are pure. They can enjoy a connection with others and with God. They have all power because He does, and they are connected to Him by a bond that cannot be broken because they obey Him in all things. They can enjoy the light of day fully and completely. As David said, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." (Psalm 23:6) Those who remain in wickedness can never know this degree of happiness.

Keep the Commandments

I am just beginning to understand the importance of having the Spirit of Christ. In the Sacrament prayers we hear that we can always have His Spirit to be with us, if we remember Him. He went into the depths of humility and lived by every word of God. He was a servant. Likewise we follow Him in becoming a servant of God. We don't ask God for what we want, so much as what we need in order to accomplish what He wants us to do. A servant doesn't go to his master and ask for stuff, but rather one thing only -- "What wilt Thou have me to do?" The answer to that question is a commandment of God. It may be hard, or easy. It may be different than any other commandment given to anyone else. It may not be written anywhere, but is a commandment just the same. These are the commandments we need to keep.

Thus, commandments are individual instructions given to us on a regular basis -- daily. The experience of Nephi in obtaining the brass plates of Laban is a great illustration.

Lehi told his sons that the Lord commanded them to go get the brass plates from Laban. These are the words of Nephi:
"I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7) He understood that the instruction given to the prophet, his father, by God was a commandment to him.

When they tried and his brothers wanted to give up, Nephi said, "As the Lord liveth, and as we live, we will not go down unto our father in the wilderness until we have accomplished the thing which the Lord hath commanded us. Wherefore, let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord." (1 Nephi 3:15-16)

After they tried again, and failed, Nephi went into the city alone. "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." (1 Nephi 4:6)

This is a wonderful illustration of taking the Holy Spirit for a guide. First, Nephi expressed his faith that he was going to do what God commanded because he had total trust in God that a way would be prepared, though it seemed hard. Next, he utterly refused to give up -- to the death. Finally, after he had done all he could think of, he just went in spite of the danger, with complete trust, being led by the Spirit, without even a plan of how to proceed.

Growing in the commandments of God

A rich young ruler came to Jesus to justify himself asking what it would take for him to gain Eternal Life. The exchange is interesting. Jesus tells him to keep the commandments. The man then asks, "Which?" to which Jesus quotes the "Ten Commandments." The man affirmed that he had done all of them perfectly from his childhood. Jesus then gave him a commandment that wasn't written, "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions." (Matthew 19:16-22)

Like the young man when I was a child I understood as a child. I looked at commandments as fixed, unchanging, written in stone for all to follow at all times. I thought the Ten Commandments were everything. Having that concrete set of rules made life easy -- I could know everything. "Keeping the commandments of God" meant: don't steal, or lie, or cheat, or kill, and so forth. They were always the same for everyone. However, when I become a man I put away childish things. Keeping the commandments now means to do as the Lord directs in all things. Nephi again illustrates:

Nephi found Laban in a drunken stupor in the street. "The Spirit said unto me: "Slay him."' (1 Nephi 4:12) I did obey the voice of the Spirit, and took Laban by the hair of the head, and I smote off his head with his own sword. (1 Nephi 4:18)

Then he did something else without a plan. "I took the garments of Laban and put them upon mine own body." (1 Nephi 4:19)

He went towards the house of Laban and happened to run into the exact person he needed at that moment. "I saw the servant of Laban who had the keys of the treasury. And I commanded him in the voice of Laban, that he should go with me into the treasury." (1 Nephi 4:20) And I spake unto him as if it had been Laban. (1 Nephi 4:23)

He commanded the servant to go with him, taking the plates. "I should carry the engravings, which were upon the plates of brass, to my elder brethren, who were without the walls." (1 Nephi 4:24)

Nephi found Laban drunk and killed him, then put on his clothes, pretending to be Laban stole the records. How many "commandments" were broken? "Thou shalt not kill?" "Thou shalt not bear false witness?" "Thou shalt not steal?" None! Remember, he was led by the Spirit. God was telling him what to do so he obeyed every commandment of God.

The point is that a commandment of God is really what we are told to do by the Spirit every minute of every day. "The words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do." (2 Nephi 32:3) "Again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do." (2 Nephi 32:5) This is what it means to "keep the commandments." All the "performances and ordinances" of the Law of Moses are done away in Christ. We are instead to "receive the Holy Ghost" and "always have His Spirit to be with us" so we can receive commandments all the time -- individually given for us.

Free agents

Does this mean we shouldn't do anything unless we are commanded? No. We are given a brain to use it. Remember Nephi and his brothers did all they could before the Lord intervened to get the plates. They asked for them, they sacrificed all their wealth, which was considerable, and nearly lost their lives before being led by the Spirit.

For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward. But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned. (D&C 58:26-29)

Judge not

The interesting feature of understanding the commandments as individual instructions from God to His children is that we can never judge another. Since we are not privy to the instructions given by God to another, we don't know what they were commanded to do. We might judge Nephi in the story above to be a liar, thief, and murderer, but none of these are true. That is our limited judgment based on our own understanding. We don't know everything; in fact, we don't know anything about others, really, so we cannot judge another, unless it is given to us by God.

Receiving commandments

In order to keep the commandments we must know them. In order to know them we must understand the language of Scripture, or the "tongue of angels." This requires constant prayer and study of the Word of God. It is just like learning any new language, it takes immersion to really understand and speak it. We become immersed in the Spirit as we repent and are baptized (another symbol) in water, taking upon ourselves the name of Christ. Then, we feast upon the words of Christ, or the Scriptures. To be immersed in the Spirit is the "baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost." This is the spirit of revelation, where the thoughts of God can be revealed to us, giving us commandments.

If God reveals His desires to us and we don't listen and obey, He will stop. If we don't do what He has asked, we are in a state of disobedience and cannot have the Spirit. This is sin. In order to receive more commandments we must first obey the ones we have been given. This is repentance. We then take the Sacrament, the body and blood of Christ, every week to renew our covenants to follow Christ and always listen and obey. We are then able to again have the Spirit to guide us.

It isn't what was say or think, but rather doing as the Spirit directs keeps us in the way to Eternal Life. Jesus gives the example of two sons:

But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard.
He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went.
And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not.
Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. (Matthew 21:28-31)

Love

The Pharisees thought as I did that the commandments were defined in the "Law." Jesus, however, corrected their thinking: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." (Matthew 22:37) To love God is to know Him. To come to know Him we must serve Him. "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15) Satan came to tempt Jesus with the things of the world, but He answered: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4) Coming to know God, making covenants with Him, listening for His instruction, and doing it every time is how we live by the Spirit. It is taking the Holy Ghost as our guide, and is a more excellent way to keep the commandments.

Finding Answers

Elena
Elena happened to be at a baptism service a few weeks ago. Her story is very interesting. Several years ago she was looking for something solid in her life. She came to church and went through the lessons and decided to be baptized. After baptism she had hands laid on her head to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost by some authorized servants of the Lord. She was doing well, learning, growing, progressing in wisdom and understanding -- until she met Michele. She started spending a lot of time with Michele, who had left the Church, asking her questions about why she had left. Michele told her all the lies that she was told that made her decide to leave. Without any knowledge to the contrary, and being very young in her faith, Elena lost everything and left the Church, having her name "blotted out." Because of this she is left to herself, not having the helps of the members or the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Without this gift she didn't have the ability to make wise choices so when a counselor told her to divorce her husband, she did. Her husband was very hurt, and tried to get her to recant, but the counselor told her to be strong -- that her dependence on her husband was just like being a prostitute. She listened. Her husband got angry, moved out, took the kids and left her alone in her house. She didn't want to be alone so she began to realize what she had done. She tried to talk to her husband and stop the divorce proceedings, but he was too angry to speak with her. She became distraught and despondent. She wanted her family back. She was desperate. She talked to everyone she knew, but nobody could help her. Finally, in desperation, she began to pray.

After the baptismal service I spoke with her and she asked if she could come to my house. She came and we talked about her situation. It was clear to me how to counsel her and I outlined a plan. She didn't want to hear any of it. She spent the night at my house and all the next day. Since she hadn't slept in a long time she mostly slept. That evening we talked again. She went through the same story and asked for what to do. I re-iterated the same steps as before. The next day she called me, asking what she should do. She hadn't done anything I said so I told her I had nothing more to offer. I told her to pray for help, but she said she did and it didn't help. "On the contrary," I told her, "your prayers brought you to someone who could help you, but you won't listen." She quit talking to me, and remains lost.

Michael

Michael was a famous artist who was in a commercial advertisement with fire and got burned. During the painful treatments he was given powerful medications for pain on which he quickly became dependent. After he had healed, he began to seek the medications. He had lots of money so he could hire doctors to administer them as much as he wanted. He called me because he was told I was willing to go to his house, but I was not told the reason for the visit. We talked a long time that night. It was clear he needed help. Over the next several years we had many interviews. I told him the only way to overcome his problem was to turn to the Lord. He said he had prayed about it, but he didn't get better.

However, the Lord sent him help in the form of a doctor who could give him more than drugs. I told him that salvation only comes when we seek the help of God. Jesus Christ has the power to change his heart and heal him from his addiction. I was able to teach him about the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the atonement, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost. He didn't see how that could help him so he did nothing. A few years later, he died from an overdose of the medications.

Pride

Both Elena and Michael had their prayers answered. Every sincere prayer is answered. The answers, however, don't always come as expected. It's our expectations and our pride that prevent us from seeing the answers that God puts right in front of us. We are blinded by our own wants, or pride. Pride is what you want.  But sometimes what seems to be right, is wrong, and vice-versa so it's hard to know without the help of the Spirit. We pray to heal the sick, but perhaps the Lord has other ideas. We think we can have enough faith to prevent the death of a loved one, but the Lord says it's time for them to go home. The Lord sends comfort to us according to our prayers, but we don't see it and refuse to be comforted.

In my own life, there are many instances where I refused to accept an answer to prayer from the Lord, and it has caused me a great deal of suffering. Once, I was praying about marriage and was told that all would be well if I married in the Temple. I didn't. I let my pride get in the way, and did it the way I thought best. I was wrong -- with eternal consequences. I knew the answer, but I didn't do as I was told.

Joseph Smith Jr. learned this when he asked the Lord if Martin Harris could take the manuscript they had been working on. The Lord said, "No," but he persisted and lost the manuscript. From that experience he said, "I made this my rule: When the Lord commands, do it." This is humility.

Humility
Humility is accepting the will of the Lord, whatever it is. We don't see the big picture because we don't have the views of eternity. We are limited by time and space, and God is not. He knows all things. He knows the end from the beginning, but we have to learn the end at the end. When this is understood, it seems ludicrous to try to tell the Lord what to do, or to have pride; everyone would humbly submit to His will.

Humility also comes from knowing what Jesus Christ has done for us, and for me, personally. When I came to understand that I was so important to Him because of what He sacrificed for me I was in awe. I felt different. I knew in my heart that I was loved beyond all the stuff of the world. I was more important than everything. I also knew that even the bum in the street was that important to God. I began to understand why "the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart." (Moroni 8:26)

Only in humility can prayers be answered, "for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart." (Moroni 7:44) Humility allows us to put aside what we want and see the hand of the Lord in our lives. When the answer to a prayer comes, we are able to see it and accept it. We do according to the commandment given, and we are blessed.  Answers come in unexpected ways, mostly through other people whom God sends. Even these people God sends may be unexpected. They may not seem to be of the Lord; they may be "republicans and sinners" in our eyes. Humility allows us to put aside all prejudice to accept the message. 

There are two steps to humility. The first is the ability to see the answer when it comes, and the second is to do it. When Naman, the Syrian, sought the Prophet Elisha for healing the Prophet never came out to see him. Elisha sent a messenger to tell Naman to dip seven times in the River Jordan. Naman was offended and went away, sorrowing. Had his humble followers not given him some humility he would have remained a leper. He humbled himself because of the illness and went and did what Elisha said and was healed. First, his servants had to help him to see that Elisha's counsel was an answer to his prayers, and second, he had to forget about all the cleaner rivers in Syria and go and do exactly what Elisha had said.

Finding the answer

I believe every sincere prayer is answered. I have prayed for years with the answer in front of me and just thought my prayers weren't being answered because I wasn't worthy. In some cases, I lacked the humility to see the answer, and in others I could see what God wanted me to do, but I wanted to do it my own way. Now, I understand how to humbly seek the answers to prayers. I don't pray for things I am not willing to do. I know every humble prayer will be answered, and I need to be open to the answer when it comes. 

We can develop the talent of receiving answers. Each talent is a gift, and there is a gift of the Spirit of receiving answers to prayers -- it begins with humility.

Nurturing Love

I grew up with movies and stories of love that did not teach me about what love really is. I thought love was automatic, that I would just fall in love with the perfect person for me, and that we would live "happily ever after." How wrong that idea is! Disney has done me a disservice! 

A garden is a beautiful analogy of love. There is a lot of work that goes into growing and keeping a garden beautiful. It starts with preparation, and planning, and then comes planting, fertilizing, watering, and weeding. With all of this there will come a time that we can enjoy the beautiful flowers, the fruits of our labors.

Prepare the soil

In contrast to Sleeping Beauty, true love requires planning and preparation. Waiting in a tower, sequestered from the world, is no way to prepare. Our preparation for love should start with observation. We need to see loving couples, what they do, how they act, how they feel, what they say to each other and those around them. My parents and grandparents didn't love each other. I had no example of love to be able to see what I was looking for. So, I married "a girl just like the girl that married dear ol' dad" and tried to do it better than they did. I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I thought I did, but it turns out I wasn't prepared with the right tools to love with my heart. I did a lot of planning, but the soil wasn't prepared properly so the flowers didn't grow.

In order to be prepared it is essential that we grow up. Children are self-centered so they can't really make commitments. A child's commitment goes only as far as himself -- he is committed to getting what he wants. Children expect those around them to understand them automatically. They believe in "love at first sight." They don't feel the need to put in an effort to learn the "love language" of their partner, but rather expect that she will learn his. They believe that true love is automatic and requires no effort. Childish couples argue because they are each trying to get their needs filled, and this is the purpose for getting married in the first place. When we grow up, however, we no longer need a mommy to take care of us.

An important part of this preparation is becoming dependent on God, shifting our dependence away from people. When we rely on the Lord, we are able to love and nurture our spouse -- we can give, instead of taking. Thus, proper soil preparation requires faith in God, which brings meekness and lowliness of heart, and the ability to make unselfish commitments. Some soils are hard and need to be worked a lot, with a lot of fertilizer, amendments and additives so the flowers will grow. For this reason, some have very hard lives. The difficulties of our childhood are the fertilizers for our future love. However, if we don't allow them to be dug in, we only get hardened and the fertilizer washes off, leaving only hard ground. There seem to be many more people who become bitter and angry at the difficulties of their lives than become humble and soft. The choice lies within each individual.

After my divorce I began looking around at the women who were available, thinking I wanted to be married. I noticed that the majority of women my age were still children, and didn't have any preparation for love. Most were trying to look half their age so men would lust after them. Many were bitter and angry that they didn't get what they wanted. Instead of allowing the vicissitudes of life to soften them, they had become hardened. I wasn't sure I was prepared, but what I saw made me decide not to marry again. I would just stay single and raise my children for the next seven years -- unless...

Plant the seeds

The Prince loved Cinderella only because she was beautiful. The seeds of love are our desires. We can get seeds that grow quickly, and die quickly, or we can plant seeds that continue to grow forever. Petunia seeds are the desires that don't last forever, such as good looks. If we love someone because she is beautiful, then we cease to love her when she is not. However, if our love is based on who she is, then she will always be beautiful. Lust says, "I love you because you're beautiful." Whereas Love says, "Your beautiful because I love you." All of the temporary things that we desire such as wealth, power, looks, lands, homes, education, and so forth are the perennial seeds.

Like roses, those desires which are permanent can grow into a love that blossoms year after year. These include admirable character traits such as honesty, faithfulness, humility, kindness, diligence, love, cheerfulness, and courage. It's not what they've done, but who they have become that makes the difference.

One evening while visiting my friend, Eddy, who had cancer, I was sitting around talking to his wife Karyn and her children. I noticed that she was soft, and had no sharp edges. She loved her children. She loved her dying husband. I have known her since she was a teenager so I was aware of her hard life. However, she was different; she had developed faith, hope, and love. It wasn't until later as I was reflecting on it that I recognized the difference; now I knew what I wanted -- I saw it. It wasn't a pretty face or a beautiful body; it wasn't wealth or power, status or education -- I wanted humility, peace, kindness, faith, faithfulness, and love. The seed was planted.

Nurture the young and tender plant

Our garden doesn't just get planted, and we "live happily ever after," like Snow White. The work really starts when we come together. The soil must be watered frequently. A little neglect early on could be deadly to our love. We need to be extra vigilant in the first couple of years. We have to express our love frequently. We need to discover our spouse and come to "know" her in every sense of the word. Every day, several times each day, we can tell her we love her in a variety of ways. A look, a smile, a thoughtful gift, a note on the refrigerator, or the seat of his car.

Like a new garden, young love requires a great deal of effort. After several months as a missionary in Venezuela I was sure that it would be easier to teach everyone there to speak English because it was so hard for me to learn Spanish. However, with persistence, I eventually learned and now I even have a spot every week on a Spanish-language TV news show. Part of the nurturing of love is to learn a new language -- the "love language" of our spouse. With all the effort of learning any new language we can come to understand her "love language" and learn to speak it fluently. Like any new language, it takes time, patience, and effort.

Suddenly, it's not all about me, but rather a process of getting to know her in a more intimate way. The more we understand our loved ones, the more our love grows. The growth process is never-ending. Each individual is living and changing; moreover, we are complex enough for a lifetime of intimate study. If we continually nurture our love, it just keeps getting better.

Weed the garden

Aladdin grew up very differently from Jasmine which produces a lot of potential weed seeds. We can have great soil, good seed, give lots of water and fertilizer, but if we don't weed the garden, it won't be nearly as enjoyable. Keeping the weeds out, means not having any ugliness. Our thoughts are the weed seeds. We don't plant the weeds, they just show up. Judgment and criticism for weaknesses is automatic. Also, the cares of life can become weeds that overgrow our garden.

When we sit as judges, expecting perfection in any area of life, love dies. Criticism is the process of avoiding intimacy. If we need to criticize, it means our soil is not prepared to love. The problem is not in our partner, no matter what she has done, but rather in us. We weed our garden of love when we remove all negative thoughts. The best time to do this is immediately as they sprout because if we wait until they have gone to seed, we allow more to grow. I have found that when I tell Karyn about the weeds we grow closer and no new ones sprout.

Spending time with our lover is essential to the growth of love. When we get caught up in the other cares of life we may completely choke-out our beautiful flowers. I used to think that life was backwards. We should start out with all the experience and acquired goods and money of a 50-year-old so we have the means and knowledge to raise our children well. Now, however, I think life is perfect. We need the first years to be lean so we can learn what is really important. We must let go of all of the things of the world and put our trust in God, and put our spouse first in the world. In poverty all things are gained because we come to know what is really important. There are four things we can do with our time: 1) unimportant things such as watching TV, 2) good things such as cleaning the house, 3) better things such as working to earn money, and 4) the best things such as nurturing our love. All of the first three can be best if they are part of number four. However, if they are done to the exclusion of love, they become weeds that must be pulled-out.

True Love

True love really is a rose garden. There are thorns, and it requires pruning, fertilizing, weeding and watering, but if we are properly prepared, and are willing to put in the time and effort our love can grow every year with more and more blossoms and colors.