Failure

"You cannot fail!" The voice of the Spirit of God tells me again as I pray and worry about the impending collapse of my business. It comforts me -- for a time -- but I just go right back to worrying when something else goes wrong. I have a fear of failure. This is paralyzing to me; it keeps me from doing things, making decisions and going forward.

I get it. I have an understanding of failure. What the Spirit tells me is true! In life, we cannot fail, unless we reject God -- and growth. There is no other failure. No matter what happens, life goes on; there is no end. Life doesn't come to an end, it only changes. I have seen people from all walks of life who worry about failure, from those living in the streets to the most famous man in the world. Yet, there is no failure. The fear is unfounded, it has no factual basis.

Around a year of age, children begin to walk. While learning, they fall -- a lot! In one case, a child we knew fell on a twisted leg and got a spiral fracture of the tibia, requiring a cast. Epic failure! But, it wasn't over, rather it was still in the beginning. She learned to walk, and is doing well to this day almost 20 years later.

 

All failure is like that. We see falling as having more meaning than it really does. It's normal to fall during the learning process; it's an important part of growth. Not trying because we might fall is true failure because we fail to learn and grow. If a child refuses to get on her two feet because she fell once and fractured her leg bone she will never learn to walk, run, and have all of the freedoms associated with ambulation.

If this is the case, rather than fear failure, it would be wise to expect failure, welcome it, embrace it, and be happy for all the times we fall. Then, after falling we can immediately get up and keep going, expecting to fall again -- gradually learning until we get it right. True failure is not learning or growing from the normal falls of life. God wants us to learn, that's why He sent us here. If we don't try, we reject His gift -- the gift of failure is the gift of life.

Change

We are all looking for the same thing -- change. Everyone who goes to a doctor, a psychiatrist or counselor, to a church, AA, or other organization are looking for the same thing -- change. We have problems, trials, difficulties, and all manner of pain and suffering. We want to change that. We want to get better. We want to improve. We want to grow and live. Life is about growing, and growth only happens as we change.

Most want change to happen on the outside. When I was in Venezuela as a new missionary I was struggling with the language for what seemed like a long time. I thought it would be easier for everyone there to learn English before I would learn Spanish. The feeling comes as we struggle that it would be easier for us, and we wouldn't have to struggle, if others would change. This is most apparent in a family. Each partner in a marriage feels that change is necessary, and it would be easier for the other to change. They start picking at the faults of the other, trying to get them to change, but it never works. Only change within ourselves actually brings ease and comfort. It wasn't until I learned to speak Spanish that it became easy for me to communicate.

There are three requirements for change to happen in any person. No growth happens without all three. There is no change within until all three requirements are fulfilled. The first is a plan, the second is a commitment, and the third is a sacrifice. These three must go together, because you don't have growth without them. Random sacrifices don't bring growth, nor does a plan that is not carried-out. All must be done in proper order.

A Plan

Many people assume growth is random, that it just happens automatically. In reality, however, growth is always planned. When children are born, their parents plan for their growth. The plan for physical growth is simple, they work to get food for the child to eat, and he grows! If they did not plan for his physical growth, and did not feed him, he would not grow up, and would die. Parents also plan for the child's growth in other ways. Some believe spiritual growth is important so they read scripture at home, pray, and take the child to church to learn about God. Others may believe a secular education is important so they plan for the intellectual growth of the child, reading to him, providing books and other educational materials, expecting him to go to school, maybe even to Harvard one day. All growth is planned.

Those who don't plan for growth do not get growth. Children who are allowed to mill-about all day, playing video games and doing nonsensical activities don't grow through those. All activities can provide some learning, but it is really only through a planned program that the most growth takes place.

A plan must include an achievable goal and a deadline. It isn't helpful to have a goal of "whatever," and "whenever." I once had a goal of reading all the volumes of "The Great Books" -- "someday." It hasn't happened. I started reading one or two, carried one around for a while, but since there was no endpoint, it's still "out there." Also, having a goal to accomplish something over which I have no control isn't a plan. I cannot determine the weather or the actions or feelings of another. A proper plan tells us what we will do and when.

This plan must be a true plan. If the plan is not correct, then growth doesn't happen. You do not get financial growth with an intellectual plan. Also, if a person is taught false principles then they do not grow. For example, if parents teach that a good financial plan is to gamble, they will not have financially successful children. The parents must teach correct financial principles such as spending less than you earn, saving, investing, and avoiding debt in order to see financial growth in their children. Likewise, teaching about Zeus, Thor, Isis, or other false gods doesn't allow spiritual growth. Truth is imperative if growth is going to happen.

I speak of children because we easily see the growth in them, but adults must plan for growth as well. However, adults must plan their own lives. Some may have had a very deprived childhood and learned nothing, nevertheless as adults they still have the option to grow. They can plan for any sort of growth, according to their own desires. There are numerous examples of children raised in poverty who become very wealthy, or raised in ignorance who become scholars, or any other form of growth. This happens as adults plan for their own growth, and carry out the plan by making a commitment to it.

A Commitment

While children seem to automatically commit to their parents as part of growth, this is not really the case. Many children are rebellious and refuse to accept the plan given to them for growth. I had a friend, David, whose parents were from Korea so they planned his life for him. He was to get good grades in school, go to UCLA undergraduate and then medical school. He had a wife chosen for him as well, that would keep proper Korean family connections. He didn't like any of it. While he did get good grades and went to UCLA, he really wanted to study film production. For the sake of his parents, he went to medical school, but lasted only two weeks, and came home. He visited his betrothed, but they didn't like each other so they didn't get married. He liked blondes. He never married, and works in a 40-hour per week job for a big company. Because he didn't commit to his parents' plan, he didn't commit to anything and didn't grow.

Adults also grow through commitment. We look at children as growing, but when they reach adulthood they stop. Actually, this is not, or should not be, the case; growth needs to continue throughout life. There is a difference, though. Children commit to the growth plan of their parents, or what is imposed upon them. Adults, however, commit to their own plan for growth. The focus changes from doing what my parents want me to do, to doing what I want to do. The commitment also changes from accepting the commitments my parents give me, to making my own commitments.

Most avoid commitment because it looks hard. Growth is hard. Life is hard. However, the alternative is death and stagnation. In order to live we must be continually growing. This means that we take on hard things, commit to doing them and grow in the process. Running a business is hard, but there is great growth in being a leader. Having and raising children is hard, but parents who commit to teaching their children grow along with them. Keeping physically healthy requires constant attention. Learning new skills takes a real commitment, as does higher education or any new endeavor. There are so many adults avoiding commitment so as not to make life hard, but, paradoxically, their lives are harder because of it. Having the commitment to learn Spanish allowed me to push through the hard times and now it is easy. I can communicate freely and easily with those who only speak Spanish. This has allowed me many opportunities that I otherwise would not have had. People say they wish they could play the piano, but don't commit to practicing every day so they could. They might find a great deal of enjoyment in such a commitment. Of course, that would also require that they sacrifice something else to obtain it, such as time sitting in front of a televisión.

A Sacrifice

Having a plan and a commitment is only the first half of growth. The third essential element is the other half of the battle, follow-through. Actually carrying-out the plan requires sacrifice. Sacrifice is what you are willing to give up in order to fulfill the plan you have made. If you plan to grow intellectually, you will probably commit to go to college, which will require the sacrifice of a lot of money, both in the income you don't earn while in school, and the tuition you have to pay to be taught. You will also have to sacrifice time away from doing the things you want to do in order to be in class and study. The sacrifices made are where real growth occurs.

Marriage and family illustrate this concept well. It is common for couples to live together instead of getting married. First, they have no plan. They don't plan to become one, have and raise children, or grow in love. Second, they have no commitment. They live together for mutual comfort and gratification. As Billy Joel sang, "They're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone." Also, their love is based on need, their own needs, so they don't have to make any sacrifices. Growth does not happen. On the other hand, planning a family, getting married, raising children and sacrificing your heart in order to be knit together in love truly brings growth.

All learning and growth requires sacrifice. As stated previously, a plan and a commitment to learning how to play a piano still requires the sacrifice of time to actually learn it. And, the commitment to higher education requires a sacrifice of time and money. A family is the greatest earthly sacrifice we can make because it requires more than just time, money, and physical strength, it requires the heart. However, there is a greater sacrifice, and that is our plan for and commitment to spiritual growth. God requires the sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. We must give up all we have, all we know, and all we desire in order to come to Him. This is the hardest, but brings with it the greatest rewards.

The perfect plan for change

The perfect example of growth is given to us by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. There was a plan of our Father in Heaven to allow His children to experience evil and yet be unsullied by it. Knowledge only comes through experience. We could never explain the taste of salt, or the cool breeze on the face, or the colors of the rainbow to someone without these experiences. Likewise we could never explain pain or suffering to one who hasn't felt them. It is only in the actual experience that we learn and understand. Thus, we had to experience these things outside of the Kingdom of Heaven, for there is no sorrow there. However, the experience of evil would leave us unfit to return to our Heavenly home. The perfect plan is for God to sacrifice Himself to cleanse His children and bring them back to Him. The plan was presented, and a commitment was made; Jesus said, "Here am I, send me." He then came to Earth in the meridian of time to carry-out the plan, making the ultimate sacrifice by descending into the depths of hell to bring all those who desire out, and back into Heaven. This is the perfect plan because it allows for growth in all ways by allowing everyone to grow in any way they desire. It keeps them free to choose to grow, or not, and how much to grow. The perfect plan had a perfect commitment, and a perfect sacrifice.

The pattern is set by Him. All growth happens through Him and of Him and because of Him; for without Him there is no way we could benefit from any sacrifice of our own. All our plans would be in vain, commitments would not be kept, and sacrifices would be worthless. However, because of His plan, commitment and Great and Last Sacrifice, we are now able to learn and grow through our own plans, commitments, and sacrifices in the likeness of His. The perfect plan, then, is to follow Him. We don't need to change those around us or go to counseling or join organizations. We need only follow the pattern set by Him to make real change.

Sand Castles

Years ago our family went to Catalina Island for a weekend getaway.  It was quite a fun trip.  The kids enjoyed our hotel room.
We played putt-putt-golf.

 We watched the fishies from a glass-bottom boat.

We paddled ocean kayaks for miles.

We soaked-up the sun.

And, we ate ice cream!

One of the activities we enjoyed on the beach was building sand castles.  Everyone worked very hard to make the biggest and best sand castle. 

Sand was piled eight feet high and then carefully carved out.  Some were very simple and small, hastily put together in the form of a castle, but otherwise not very ornate. 

 

I think Charly won the contest with her sandbox entry, it must have taken her almost an hour to create this!

You can see, however, that even while she was in the process of creation, entropy was already working against her.  Her beautiful sand castle was falling apart.  The wind, water, and children touching it were breaking it down faster than she could repair it.

Of course, she didn't really build it, she found it, and claimed it for her own -- her "Princess Castle" -- in spite of disrepair.

I think life is like building sand castles.  We work so hard to accomplish things, getting food, clothing, shelter, and all the necessities of life.  We try to clean up the house, fix things, put a new deck in the backyard, and generally work against the constant and irrepressible force of entropy.  No matter what we build, whether a sand castle or a nation, all will come to naught.  The writer of Ecclesiastes said it wisely:

"Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun."  (Ecclesiastes 2:11)

When Jesus was visiting His friends, Mary and Martha, Martha was going around the house, cleaning, preparing the meal, and making sure everyone was comfortable.  When she began to feel overwhelmed she went in to Jesus where Mary was asking questions and learning from Him and asked Him to have Mary help out with the preparations.  Jesus denied her request saying, "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."  (Luke 10:41-42)  I think the point is that while Martha was busy with the preparations, she was missing some important instruction.

I have often found myself "in the thick of thin things," as Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says.  Getting busy with the stuff I feel I need to do in order to survive, I can lose sight of what is really important.  I believe one reason we are on the Earth is to learn and grow in all ways.  Often, my efforts to accommodate others leaves me doing a lot, without growth or learning.  For example, yesterday I really wanted to go to the Temple, but Charly changed her plans and stayed with me, and Micah had a luncheon he wanted me to attend.  I supported them, but I wonder what I missed by not going to the House of the Lord and sitting at His feet to hear His word.  She was learning things of Eternal worth, while all of Martha's efforts would be lost.

All that we do of the world is building sand castles.  We can make them large, wonderful, and ornate, or small and simple, but, either way, they will come tumbling down eventually.  Or, we can be as Mary and choose to spend our time learning.  The things that don't go away, even when we do, are the people we love and the knowledge we gain.  While Martha was taking care of things, Jesus indicated that Mary had chosen a good thing that Martha lacked -- learning.

I know I have wasted a lot of time building sand castles that have all gone "the way of all the Earth."  Only now am I beginning to look for things of Eternal value.  The things I do, whether building a house, cleaning, preparing meals, or running a business can teach me the truths of life.  I can also bless the lives of others by teaching them and supporting their growth, instead of just accommodating them.  If I do this, even my sand castles will be a means for me to learn and grow, and I will gain Eternal Life.

We will serve the Lord

Heather was wondering about how I can work in the name of God. I have often pondered this over the years, and am just beginning to understand. I have always thought wrong about life, and I need to change. Adam was told how to make these changes. I consider myself to be Adam in the following:

"And Adam and Eve, his wife, called upon the name of the Lord, and they heard the voice of the Lord from the way toward the Garden of Eden, speaking unto them, and they saw him not; for they were shut out from his presence. And he gave unto them commandments, that they should worship the Lord their God, and should offer the firstlings of their flocks, for an offering unto the Lord. And Adam was obedient unto the commandments of the Lord.

"And after many days an angel of the Lord appeared unto Adam, saying: Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me. And then the angel spake, saying: This thing is a similitude of the sacrifice of the Only Begotten of the Father, which is full of grace and truth. Wherefore, thou shalt do all that thou doest in the name of the Son, and thou shalt repent and call upon God in the name of the Son forevermore." (Moses 5:4-8)

I have wondered about this idea of doing everything in the name of Jesus Christ. The Prophets speak of this, but I don't understand. I have always segregated my life into compartments that are convenient, depending on the hat I'm wearing. I have a career in which I earn money to support myself and my family. I have a family life where I spend time with my wife and children, doing all of the "family things." And then I have the "church stuff" where I serve the Lord. The last, and maybe the second are done in the name of the Lord, but certainly not the first. I wonder about quitting my job, my work and just going on a mission, doing more at church, visiting members, or helping others to come to God. Surely these would be things I could do in His name.

However, I am now beginning to see that I can do everything in His name, if I am doing His will. As I go through life, I can celebrate every day the bounties I have been given to learn and to grow. I can rejoice in:

My body

Food that is provided

Work

Children

Neighbors

The Gospel

Money

Travel

Opportunities for learning and growth

Those who share with me

Love

School or classes

Touch

Business

Pain and suffering (Yes! Even problems are blessings!)

Christ is the life of the world. All that is life, meaning growth, is of Him. Only He can give us life. "He comprehendeth all things, and all things are before him, and all things are round about him; and he is above all things, and in all things, and is through all things, and is round about all things; and all things are by him, and of him, even God, forever and ever." (D&C 88:41) To rejoice in all things, is to rejoice in Him. To celebrate life is to celebrate Him. To do whatever I do for life, for growth, for knowledge and wisdom is to do it for Him. If I do it for Him, no matter what it is, then I do everything in His name. I can do everything for Him, because He makes it possible, because He gave His all so I could grow, because I love Him. It's not just in church that we can serve Him, but rather in all things.

Fighting against God

If I reject a gift from God, I reject Him. If I am doing my will, then I am doing it in my own name. There are many gifts of God that I have rejected and denied. He has taught me true principles of health, but I choose not to take good care of my body. I know that exercise is very important, but I get too busy and don't feel like doing it. I'm lazy. Also, in spite of all I know about food, I choose to eat poisons because they taste good. I am tearing down my body with chemical ingredients, sugar, preservatives, pesticides, and flavorings. I like them. They taste good! So, I rebel against the knowledge I have and choose to eat unhealthy things for taste.

I am divorced from my first wife because I rebelled against the commandment I was given to love her. Instead, I was seeking my own. I wanted what I wanted, and I wasn't getting what I wanted. By insisting on my own way I ended up without her.

Another good example of rebellion is my business. The Lord gave me work to do. I have a profession, I like being a doctor. I would like to just sit and counsel others on their health. I can do that. It's easy. I'm good at telling them what to do. They can take my advice, or not, just as long as they pay me for it. It is good advice so they are not paying for nothing. However, the Lord wants me to learn to run a business. He has given me a practice to teach me how to be a leader, but I have had so many problems that I keep wanting to quit. "I'm just going to go and work for someone else, I'll make more money and have fewer headaches." I say. Anyone who has had more than one employee may know what I mean. This is the "natural man." By rejecting what the Lord gave me, I have rejected Him.

Repentance

However, if I take what the Lord has given me, and run with it, learning how to do all the things of a business, I can see how much I can grow and learn. Life is growth. Life is learning. Life is NOT about rest and retirement, and doing the easy thing, but rather continual improvement. I am being lazy and seeking the "easy way" instead of looking to learn. If I change that and instead seek growth, life, and love, then I am "doing all that I do in the name of the Son." This is repentance. I am changing from doing what I want to doing His will. I am loving Him by keeping His commandments. I am filling the measure of my creation. The business God gave to me teaches me these things.

I can keep my body healthy by doing His will, keeping His commandments. In section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants, The Word of Wisdom includes, "All wholesome herbs," and "eat meat sparingly." Another commandment is to "retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated." (D&C 88:124) Also, I know that exercise will improve my body in many ways. By choosing good, wholesome food, and sleep and exercise, I am serving Him.

 

If I choose to love my wife, instead of seeking my own fulfillment then I also serve Him. To love her is to be happy with her, to appreciate her, to find her strengths, and to help her grow, even if it means giving up what I want. Love is in the sacrifice.

The everyday acts of life are where growth happens. It isn't in the big things, the mission trip to Africa, being a bishop, or a large donation to charity. Rather it is in the daily decisions to celebrate life by learning and growing. Life is lived by overcoming laziness and acting on the knowledge we have. This is how we repent of all our sins and iniquities.

Becoming perfect

Understanding that all things which bring growth lead us to Him makes perfection a possibility. When I get up in the morning, I do it for Him. When I exercise to build my body, I do it for Him. When I choose good food, I do it for Him. When I choose to learn the piano, I do it for Him. When I learn how to run a business, I do it for Him. When I read good books I do it for Him. When I budget my money I do it for Him. I do everything for my own growth for Him. Some of these things I really enjoy, but others I don't really want to do. In both cases, everything that leads me to being complete and whole, leads me to Him.

Moreover, when I do things to help others grow, to give instruction and encouragement, in every area of life I am doing His will. When I help Charly with her homework, I do it for Him. When I go to work, I do it for Him. When I counsel a patient, I do it for Him. When I serve in the Church, I do it for Him. When I help another to know the Gospel, I do it for Him. I share with others to teach them to grow, or support their growth -- for him. It's not just preaching the Gospel as taught in church, but rather every form of growth that brings life, that celebrates life. "Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together." (D&C 50:22) "Preaching" is broad enough to include all science, religion, politics, relationships, music, math, art, and philosophy -- all truth. All things that improve and increase life bring us to God. The injunction by Jesus is to "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48) The original word translated as "perfect" means "complete" or "whole," like a "perfect circle" means a full, or complete, circle.

 

As I learn true principles, and choose to live them, to incorporate them into my life, I am repenting. It's really simple. In order for me to do all I do in the name of the Son, I would need to do it in submission to the will of God. All that I do to take care of myself and others gives me potential for growth and development, and helps me to celebrate life. All that I do to learn and grow helps me come closer to Him. All that I am given is a blessing over which I can rejoice and be glad, even if it is something I didn't want, such as pain, loss, or other suffering. All that I suffer I can choose to accept with all my heart as a gift for my own growth, just as I can accept a new car.

Everything I can do with all my heart, I must do fully. I need to celebrate all things, even if I don't like doing them so that I can grow. Rejoicing in life is growing. If I reject these opportunities, then I reject the Lord, and I am doing my own will. God gave me all that I have, and I need to be diligent in seeking His will for me in each of them so that everything I do is His will. I want to live. I want to grow. I want to love. I want to connect with God through His only begotten Son. So, I will "repent and call upon God in the name of the Son forevermore." Thus, I will learn to do everything in His name. So, I can say, as Joshua, "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

They dance for Him

I walked into the outdoor theater with the sun blazing hot, worried that I might be late. I wasn't. I sat down, Michele and Tutu were across the aisle, a couple of rows down. I didn't see anyone else I knew. I was alone. I was feeling lonely. I was wishing Karyn could be sitting there by my side so I could enjoy her company. I was specifically thinking that I didn't understand dance, that I had to sit through twenty-two dance numbers just to see Charly in two, one jazz and one tap. She loves to dance and is technically very good. She accurately does all the steps, but I wonder about her heart.

After most of it was over, including both of her numbers, I was relaxing, just watching when I saw a young girl with a big smile dancing with all of her heart in a ballet. I don't know about the technical parts, but it was beautiful. I felt it in my heart. At the same time a voice inside me said, "They dance for Him."

Dance is a celebration of life. It is a sacrament of the body. It is a ritual of gratitude for all that the body can do, be, and represent. It is a ceremony of the wonders of life. In doing so it is also a tribute to Him who makes it all possible. Christ is the light and the life of the world. He is the way, the truth and the life. He makes it all possible. Without Him we could not exist. He created all things so that we would have a place to be. He constructed our home. He gave us the gift of independence, choice, and agency. He allows us to use that freedom -- and misuse it. And when we die because of our bad choices, He allows us to repent, and return to life. He gives us life in the first place, and then allows us to return to life, whatever life we desire. He is the life. Dance is a celebration of Him.

Some may be selfish, dancing for another reason. Laman, Lemuel, and the sons of Ishmael were dancing and making merry and forgetting the Lord. The daughter of Jared in the Book of Ether danced to get Akish to desire her. She had a sinister plot to marry him so he would kill her grandfather, the king, and get the kingdom for her father. Her dance was not for the Lord, but rather for Satan.

Whenever we dance to celebrate life, love, and all the gifts we have been given we do it for Him. I believe most don't know that they dance for Him. When they find joy in expressing the wonder of the body and all it is capable of doing they are dancing for Him. King David came triumphantly into Jerusalem, dancing for Him. David was a man after the Lord's own heart.

"Let them praise his name in the dance." (Psalm 149:3)

"Suffer" means "allow"

A perfect synonym for "suffer" is "allow." When we take out the pain and sorrow of "suffer" and simply replace it with "allow," we get a whole new meaning of the Scriptures. For example, we understand that Jesus was perfect and sinless, but what made this so? I always imagined Him with His siblings at the dinner table to be like my family. His little sister says, "Oh Jesus, you think you're so perfect!" And He says, "Yep!" with a smug grin. And He would be right, but this sort of perfection is not definable. It is the "perfection" of pride, the "I'm right, I'm good, I don't need to grow or change," sort of perfection.

Jesus, in reality, was just the opposite. Humble perfection is doing exactly the will of God, submitting our own will to His. This is what Jesus did, as He explained to the Nephites:

"And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning." (3 Nephi 11:11)

How wonderful it is to have the Book of Mormon and be able to know about Christ after His resurrection! This scripture is a good example. If we take the word "suffered" and use instead the synonym "allowed" it reads:

"And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have [allowed] the will of the Father in all things from the beginning."

The first tells us about the pain He experienced, and the fact that it was painful, bitter, and hard. However, the second gives us insight into other things.

Without sin

"For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15)

We speak of Jesus being without sin, but what, exactly, does that mean?

"I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me." (John 5:30)

Jesus is the perfect example of how to live because He never sought his own will, but rather allowed the will of the Father in all things in His life. He did this out of love for us, which love is charity.

"And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men." (1 Nephi 19:9)

 

Again, replacing each of the words "suffer" with "allow" we get:

"And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he [allows] it; and they smite him, and he [allows] it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he [allows] it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men."

He had a will, separate from the Father. He did not want to suffer. He didn't want to drink the bitter cup, but He did. It wasn't self-imposed suffering. He didn't create it, He only allowed it, as demonstrated in the Garden of Gethsemane.

"And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." (Matthew 26:39)

The analogy here is incredible. If it's bitter, He could spit it out. How much more submissive could He be than to willingly drink what is bitter to the taste? Swallowing is willingness.

We just completed the circle. The events from this point we know. He willingly drinks the bitter cup, submits to die on the cross after allowing torture and humiliation, is buried in a tomb, rises from the dead, and visits the Nephites at the Temple in Bountiful to tell them: "I have suffered the will of the Father."

Follow Him

We follow Christ when we allow the will of the Father in our own lives, when we are "willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us]." (Mosiah 3:19) This is truly putting our trust in the Lord. We naturally seek our own will, instead of His, making us inherently evil, as King Benjamin points out:

"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19)

The words used here are indicative of how we become saints:

Yields

Putteth off

Submissive

Meek

Humble

Patient

Love

Willing

Submit

Inflict

It is through the atonement of Christ that we can become saints. He is our example. We follow what He did. We submit to the will of God in all things. This means we allow chastisement and we allow evil to exist, as He explained:

"But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain." (Matthew 5:39-41)

If to suffer is to allow, then allowing evil is literally what it means to be a true follower of Jesus Christ, a saint. Knowing that there is a plan made by God, and we follow His plan, instead of interjecting our own, "better," plan.

The sin of prevention

Lucifer had a "better" plan. He would prevent all suffering, pain, and sorrow by taking away the agency of man. Everyone would be obedient and do the will of the Father in all things, just like Jesus, but without the "willing" part. Submitting reluctantly is not giving the heart to God, it is just doing it by force. There are many in the world who try to enforce or follow the plan of Satan. Whenever power is gained "it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." (D&C 121:39) They do this by pitting their will against the will of God, striving to put things right, as they see it.

When we try to prevent the will of the Father it is a sin. Whenever we insist upon our own way in anything, it is sin. There are many things that seem wrong that we try to put right: the death of a child, injustice, hate, pain, death, misery, and all the evils of the world. Yet, we are told that we are on the Earth to be tested, with what? Exactly that evil we think we want to abolish. God has a plan. His work is not like ours. We build sand castles all day, and fight and play with the other kids in the sandbox. However, He says, "this is my work and my gloryto bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39) This is necessarily done by experiencing, and allowing, evil in our own lives.

Absorb evil

As a physician I deal with a lot of people who are in pain. Almost always, they are trying to get out of pain. Michael Jackson was one of those, and it eventually killed him. I find that when people try to use drugs to abolish all pain they have two problems: 1. The side-effects of the drugs, and 2. More pain. They only get minutes to hours of semi-relief with the drugs saying, "it makes it tolerable," but suffering much more in the long run.

How can we deal with pain? Follow Jesus: suffer it. Allow it. Experience it to the fullest. Drink the bitter cup willingly. When we feel pain, we allow it. We submit to it. We feel it completely and get all the way around it. We know it, and love it for what it is -- the motivation to change, to repent, and to become free. Pain allows us to feel joy. Lehi explains:

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility. Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God." (2 Nephi 2:11-12)

If there is no cold, there is no hot. If there is no darkness there is no light. If there is no death, there is no life. Life is choice, and if you have nothing to choose, you have no life. Moreover, if there is no pain, there is no joy. We actually can only experience joy to the extent that we have felt pain. If you want the greatest joy, you must be willing to experience the greatest sorrow. Again, Jesus is our example.

"He that ascended up on high, as also he descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth;" (D&C 88:6)

Our Eternal life, joy and happiness depends on us comprehending all things through experience. Jesus shows us the way by allowing the will of God, even when it means suffering and pain, and submitting willingly and completely. Our only concern on Earth, therefore is to understand what is the will of God for us in our lives -- and suffer it.

My Three Sins

I always thought a sin was something I did, or didn't do. When I do something I shouldn't, that's a sin of commission. Also, when I don't do something I should, that's a sin of omission. However, now I see it differently. Henry David Thoreau said: "For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one chopping at the roots." The leaves of evil are the manifestations, the outward signs, the part we can see -- the things we do, or don't do. The roots of evil are found in the heart, or why I did that. Why do I steal things? Why do I not fulfill my calling? Why do I look upon women with lust? Why do I lie? The root of the problem is in asking, "why?" I don't think we need to repent of the things we did so much as why we did them.

The Lord has revealed to me why I commit sins in my own life. The foundations of all my sins are found in the three desires of my heart:

1) Unbridled intimacy without sacrifice of my heart

2) Wealth without responsibility

3) Praise, glory, and the honors of men without earning it

These desires have been a part of me since the beginning. As a child I wanted these things given to me. I wanted them to come easily. I didn't want to put out any effort to get them myself.

However, as I thought about it more, I dug deeper and found that there is another level, the level of the heart. I did this by, again, asking "why?" Why do I want these things so badly? The underlying cause of these desires can be found in the needs that create them:

1) Loneliness

2) Insecurity

3) Guilt

In my heart, I conceived of a way to fill those needs with:

1) Sex to feel a connection with another. 

2) Money to be able to buy all I want in the world.

3) Honors of men to tell me I'm OK.

These work. They bring fulfillment of the need in the heart so they motivate everything I do.

1) I get married to fill the first need. I might have just lived with a woman or used many women but that would have prevented me from ever fulfilling number 3. I tried so hard to please my wife; I just wanted her to appreciate me and love me.

2) I work hard, I give to others, and expect others to give back to me, and they do.

3) I became a doctor to have honor and respect. I keep the commandments. I do things that are respectable and honest.

These all work. Each one does what it's supposed to do. They all fill the need in my heart. I feel fulfilled -- as long as I have them.

So, is the sin the needs in my heart, or the way I have chosen to fill them? The existence of the needs isn't really the problem, these are universal to mankind. Everyone has:

1) a need to be loved

2) a need for security

3) a need for forgiveness

My sins are in all the ways I seek to fill those needs that are of the world. The reason we call it sin is because it isn't true. There is nothing in the world that can fill the needs of the heart. As much as I try, the best I can do is temporary relief. The need remains, and remains unfulfilled. It fills the need, but it's like eating for hunger -- you just get hungry again.

Truth is forever. The true way is to fill the need permanently. The heart is changed when the need is filled by God.  When I look to him to fill my needs, then all I do is for Him. This is what it means to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." (Matthew 22:37) He can:

1) fill my heart with love

2) provide for my physical and spiritual needs

3) forgive my sins and take away my guilt.

When I look to my Father in Heaven to fill my needs, then all of my thoughts, desires and motivations will be on Him. I will begin to put my faith and trust in Him, and let go of the things of the world. The feeling of love comes from a belief that something, or someone, can fill a need in my heart. If I believe that God can fill all the needs in my heart, then I will love Him with all of my heart. He can, and He does. It is permanent and abundant. There is no lack, no hunger, no thirst because the fulfillment comes from within.

"But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." (John 4:14)

Repentance is letting go of the ways I have sought to fill the needs of my heart, and believing that God can, and will, fill them. I should not focus on the sin, trying to get rid of it, but rather focus on the goal, trying to obtain what I really need by seeking the Lord's help. So, what I really need, then is to look to God for:

1) Charity to fill my heart.

2) Trust in the Lord to give me my daily bread.

3) Purification and sanctification through the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Once I have these, I could say that I have repented of all my sins. All of them. Sins are not infinite, but God is. I'm not relegated to being a sinner all my life, even a repentant sinner. I have the promise that I can "be made white through the blood of the Lamb." (Alma 34:36) Since I can define the sins in my heart, I can turn my heart to the Lord and repent of each one. There are only three. How hard can it be? :-)