Good and evil can be defined in terms of growth, learning or improvement, and our effect on others.
Good is helping others to learn and grow.
Evil is preventing others from growing.
This way of looking at life allows us to make judgments and decisions on what is good or evil for us. It is easy to judge when we have a standard by which to measure. For example, we can judge murder to be evil because taking the life of another stops his growth, learning or improvement. We can also see that enslavement is evil. Watching TV or other entertainment is evil if we don’t grow from it.
We can judge what is good as well. Those who are continually learning and growing are good. These always bring others with them. Authors who share their ideas by writing books, or speaking helping others to learn are good. Teachers who teach truth are good. Politicians who improve society, increasing freedom, allow others to grow and learn more are good. Businesses that provide goods and services to help others grow and connect people together are necessarily good.
Business
We can use this standard to judge businesses in our whole society. Some business is good by helping individuals to grow, or by connecting people together. Others are evil because they cause addiction, or bring destruction. Most can be either good or evil, depending on how they are used.
Good Business
Good business facilitates growth in any way, and preserves choice. Most good businesses increase freedom. For example, the travel industry allows people the freedom to move around much more, and make more connections, or experience other cultures, and thus grow in many ways. The electric companies allow more freedom to work and improve. Any business that increases freedom is necessarily good, such as the following:
Schools
Farming
The automobile industry
Publishing books that inspire
Building homes and offices
Power companies
Communications industry
Providing clean water
Clothing industry
Inspiring art
Travel industry
Hospitality industry
Oil and gas
Building products
Mining industry
Evil Business
Businesses that are evil take money and decrease choice and freedom. Anything that can be addictive, that doesn’t build up and improve, is evil. Whole areas of our economy are inherently evil. These touch everyone from infants to grown adults, including:
Pornography
Gambling casinos
Sugar
Tobacco
Drugs
Alcohol
Ambidextrous Business
Some businesses are tools that can be used for good or evil. The weapons industry for example is important for protection from invasion and loss of freedom, but on the other hand can be used for destructive purposes. The health care industry can feed on people’s fears and bind them into a lifetime of drugs, or help them to be free of illness, depending on how the tool is used. Many industries are ambidextrous, and in these cases caveat emptor applies.
Finance - credit can destroy, while savings can build
Insurance - creating fear, or protection from risk
Legal - plundering the wealth of others, or helping those in trouble
Entertainment - wasting time, training the heart to feel fear, loss, and desire, or connecting the heart and the brain together
Churches - addiction to self-justification, or pointing the way to God
Supplements - giving false health, becoming less healthy, or building nutrition
Food - eating for taste brings addiction and destruction, while eating for nourishment allows health, vitality, and growth.
Government
The reason government is a “necessary evil” is because it can only take away from growth and improvement. Freedom is the engine of human progress, and government necessarily restricts freedom. Living in a society with others requires rules which are administered by the government. Wherever rules are made, there will be stagnation. Defining an industry prevents progress in that industry. For example, in 1910 the Kinsey Report indicated how the government should define medical care, leaving us a hundred years later with the same definition, making it difficult for our society to get past the patent drug era. Though our technology is rapidly increasing to remove the cause of disease, our government forces us into an archaic system of relieving symptoms. Government slows growth; the more the people are governed, the slower will be the growth. The ideal would be a population that obeys the rules, and doesn’t need government interference. If there were no evil businesses, there would be little need for government at all.
Learning
The object of all good leadership is to remove the evil elements from society. Previously, this was done by law, making vice illegal such as alcohol, sex, and drugs. However, instead of putting people with vices into prison, there needs to be a way to teach our children to avoid those businesses that will bring them down to suffer in their own prison of addiction. Knowledge defines good, where evil is ignorance. By knowing the truth we are free to choose, and I believe people with knowledge mostly choose good.
We must learn everything, even, or especially, those things we think we know. I was talking with a physical therapist who was explaining that people don’t walk correctly and cause themselves pain. We think we know how to walk because we’ve been doing it since we were one year old. However, just because we’ve been doing it a long time, doesn’t mean we know how to do it right. In high school and college I ran long distance, from three to over ten mile runs. I had coaches who talked about breathing technique, and indicated that some runners had an innate ability to run well. But it wasn’t until a recent class at my Cross-Fit gym that I was taught how to run. The first time I went for a mile with my new knowledge was amazing! I could run so much longer with less effort, and I didn’t get shin-splints like I had before. After fifty years of running, I finally learned how to run.
Goodness is always learned because nobody automatically knows how to build, grow, and learn. We can’t know what we don’t know; we must be taught everything. The best way to do this is with mentors, or one-on-one teaching. We understand that a great athlete always requires a coach, but often don’t think that everyone needs to be coached in how to do things right. There are specialists who know the right way to build a business so an entrepreneur can seek one to learn. We all need coaching in how to handle our finances. We need coaching in how to nourish our bodies. We need to learn how to walk, run, and move to build and not tear down our bones, muscles, and joints. The myth of the self-made man is dead. We need those who know. There is a huge need for good mentors in every area, and among all people.
Becoming Good Leaders
After becoming good at something, the next step is to teach others, becoming leaders. A leader provides an objective for a group of people. If the objective is growth and improvement, the leader is good. But, if the objective prevents progress the leader is evil. We can easily judge by the “fruits” of their objective. We know what brings freedom and choice, and what will cause addiction and slavery. A doctor treating hypertension doesn’t teach the patient how to live a healthy life, instead giving a pill that only the doctor can give. Rather than health and freedom of choice, the patient is bound for life to the doctor. The “natural” doctor who prescribes a supplement to lower blood pressure is little different because the evil business model is unchanged -- “a pill for every ill” binds people to pills. On the other hand, those who seek the cause of the problem, and remove it, open doors of freedom. This is good leadership. By teaching each person the truth freedom will prevail, and people will grow.
Mentors are perhaps more important than politicians because the root cause of bondage isn’t the President, it’s the people. If the individual members of society are seeking safety, stability, uniformity, and security, they will not be seeking truth, they will not be looking for mentors, they will not subject themselves to coaching, and will not be growing and learning. The default is bondage to those who bind and steal, the evil businesses. As more people are in bondage, addicted to their own desires, the whole society stops growing, leading to a government of despotism. This isn’t created by politicians, it starts with the population. If good leaders can teach individuals and groups to know the truth about every part of life, then no power on Earth can subject them, they are free. The real leaders of society, then, are not the politicians, presidents, kings, or rulers, but rather the counselors, teachers, coaches, tutors, and mentors of the people. The real leaders are the entrepreneurs who have failed at multiple businesses, and finally get one right. It’s the teachers who continuously learn and grow in their field, teaching what they learn to others. It’s the CEO’s who take people under their wing, showing them how to help employees to grow in their own positions. And, it’s the MLM business owners who are trying to build a downline, learning skills with people, marketing, accounting, and personal growth. Good leaders are rarely in the limelight.
Choosing a mentor
This is how truth spreads, one person at a time. If I need to learn about finance, I seek a mentor who is proficient and learn the simple truth that borrowing money doesn’t lead to wealth, only by spending less than we earn can this come about. The mentor teaches the truth, and shows me how to live within my means. I then become an expert and can teach others the same process. Truth doesn’t change. If I want to know God, then I need a mentor who has been there and can show me the way. As I learn, I can help others who are seeking. There is a myth that there are no good leaders. I would beg to differ. I think there are too few who are looking for truth.
Finding a mentor is a complex task. Jesus gave us the criteria: “Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? (Matthew 7:16) In other words, don’t go to a poor man to learn how to be rich. Don’t go to a fat person to learn how to be thin. The lesson is simple. When I sought a life coach, I was feeling trapped in a job, and was looking for freedom. I found among the people I knew, a friend who was similarly trapped, and had escaped and was doing well. I hired him, and he has helped me to become free. The simple (and cheap) way to find coaches is through books. Authors have written on every subject, and for pennies we can get their advice, learn their truths, and improve our own lives. While I think reading is an essential part of learning, I also believe that a coach is essential for the application of principles we learn to our own lives, giving support and encouragement. I don’t think a boxer can become a champion by reading a book. I don’t think a pianist can be great without a teacher. I don’t think a businessman can succeed without a mentor. Seek a mentor. There is no limit to the number. Learn. Grow. Improve any aspect of your life, and then, become a good leader.
Good leadership
After going through the process of learning, when we have mastered an area of life, we can then turn to help others. Parents can mentor their children in some areas, but will be weak in others. Parents who are good leaders will seek mentors for their children, to teach them in areas where the parent is weak. In business, those who have mastered the art of business are always looking for a protégé. Politicians who are seeking the freedom of the population need to take on young leaders. Those who understand the principles of health can help others apply them in their own lives. The art of good leadership is one by one. Growth happens one by one. Your legacy is not just the one or two that learned to grow from you, but also includes those who are taught by them, and so on through time -- an endless line of leaders. Whether in your family, your business, or your country, helping one person to grow is, by definition, good leadership.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
From Shame to Joy
Hans Christian Anderson tells the tale of a king who was very proud. He had some tailors come in and describe a beautiful cloth that was like magic, and could only be seen by those who were fit for their position. The king himself, and everyone in the kingdom came to watch the king parade in his new clothes, feigning amazement at the beautiful new robes. All were afraid to admit that they felt unfit, and worried that others would know if they indicated that they couldn’t see the cloth.
Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, has written several books on the subject of shame, and the courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to make mistakes, in order to heal. Shame is a universal human experience. Every person in every society, country, and village experiences shame.
Shame is often confused as guilt. Guilt is when we feel that we did something wrong. It is tied to a specific action, or something we do. Shame, on the other hand, is feeling that we are flawed, that we don’t measure-up to a standard, that we aren’t good enough, or that we are somehow unfit.
There are three ways to deal with shame.
1. Denial
2. Justification
3. Change
Denial
Most in the world are in denial of their shame. They immerse themselves in the physical senses, focused on their own bodies, while completely neglecting the duality of existence. They don’t know, nor do they care to know, their heart, afraid that they might find flaws.
Those in denial will naturally be suspicious of their feelings and the feelings of others. Since they feel shame, but deny it, they must doubt all of their feelings, hiding and denying their own heart. Unable to trust their own feelings, they rely only on what they can demonstrate to others. They become pseudo-scientists, insisting that God be taken out of society. They deny god exists, or that He can’t be proven.
Those in denial still feel shame, but they continue to deny it exists, or they deny that it’s real or true, requiring that they deny there is a heart, or a spirit. Since the mind is a one-act stage, they can push out all that is in their heart by narrowly focusing on what their five senses give them, and what they can physically demonstrate to others. They work hard in the world, focused on their work and play, accomplishing much, but never finding themselves. They may do a lot, but don’t live to fulfill their purpose.
Self-Justification
To “justify” means to “make straight.” We know in our hearts we are crooked, that is the reason for our shame, and we need to be made straight. We don’t deny that we are imperfect and flawed, we just need some way to make it alright -- or appear to be straight by some form of justification. There are four basic ways to justify ourselves.
1. Self-help
2. Comparing to others
3. Perfectionism
4. Excusing ourselves
Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps
Many seek to justify themselves; believing they can straighten themselves. They work very hard to fix themselves. They go to self-help seminars seeking some information that will change them. They read self-help books. They have mentors, living and dead, to guide them through life. They work hard to get better and better, straighter and more justified. They seem to be getting better every day, and being perfect is only a little way off. These are the “good” people of the Earth. They go to church or side with some other group that is “right.” They do the “right” thing, like being vegetarian, saving the whales, the environment, or otherwise having a cause to fight for. They see the shame in their heart, and seek to rid themselves of it by becoming better and better so they can measure-up, eventually.
Compared to you...
Another way to justify ourselves is in comparing ourselves to others. We believe that we will never be straight so we find an excuse. We point the finger at others; we don't need to be good, just better than others. We start looking at everything as relative since nothing seems to be absolute. Being relatively better than others is comforting for our shame. The shame never dissipates so we will always be in competition with people around us, exposing their weaknesses to make ourselves look better. This competition can also cause us to seek big things. We want more money, a bigger house, a better swimming pool, or a nicer car. We don’t need all the money or things, we just need it to be more than others so we can feel justified in comparison, like Einstein, “I’m not a genius, you’re all just stupid.”.
Perfectionism
Some are perfectionists, believing they can do everything right in an absolute sense. There is a right way, and a lot of wrong ways. They always choose the right, being perfect and upright, like Job. They don’t compare themselves to others, there isn’t any competition. They don’t look at others or judge others, but they are their own harshest critics.
Can I be excused?
A fourth way to justify ourselves is by making excuses. We excuse ourselves because of all the things outside of our control that cause us to be crooked. “It’s not me, it’s my genes.” Is one modern method. The scientific doctrine of genetic determinism has been used for decades to explain why people do things, and feel certain ways. Others cite their upbringing, poverty, wealth, mold exposure, toxic environment, or other factor outside of their control. Many of these also blame others, mean people, neighbors, disloyal friends, parents, siblings, the boss, or other people who had some power over them and abused them. Thus, they can be justified in being crooked because they were made that way by factors they can’t control. There are many who continually put themselves in hateful situations again and again to prove that it’s not their fault, they are justified, or excused.
Illness is very commonly used to excuse us when we don’t measure-up. The husband of a patient with cancer said, “Cancer is the most common form of suicide.” He had studied the current treatments, both orthodox and alternative, and found that most people chose to take those things that held little promise of helping. They wanted to feel like they were doing something, so they wouldn't feel guilty, while really doing nothing. Others get chronic illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, and Lyme disease. They remain in the diseased state to rest from their labors, not being required to grow up, care for themselves and others, and live life. Disease is a great excuse.
Insanity
No matter what form or how perfect our justification, we still feel shame and need to continuously seek more justification. There is no end, because the shame persists, but we keep trying. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting different results". (Attributed to Ben Franklin, ancient Chinese proverb, Albert Einstein, and Rita Mae Browne) There is value to persistence. If you are a gymnast and you keep trying to “stick the landing,” you keep trying over and over until you get it right. However, if you’re “trying to find gold in a silver mine” or “trying to drink whiskey from a bottle of wine,” it becomes insanity. (John Nash indicated that there is some choice in insanity, “It was like a tornado, you want to hold on to everything you have, you don't want to let anything go.” -- Sylvia Nasar, A Beautiful Mind) The “insanity” is doing the wrong thing and expecting the right thing to come out.
"You cannot do wrong and feel right. It is impossible!" - Ezra Taft Benson
Thus, all the attempts to deny our shame or justify ourselves amount to an impossibility. Like the gambler who is just one pull away from a jackpot, we continue to feed the lie, addicted to our “right” way of doing things.
Removing Shame
The antidote is to actually find a way to remove shame. The way to deal with our feelings is to understand the cause. We feel shame because of deficiencies that we perceive in ourselves. Humans are needy, and imperfect. We fear we are unworthy of communion with others and might be rejected. These are a reality that we must deal with directly. We need to face our weaknesses and change our hearts.
Unless we become straight, there is no way to avoid the shame of being crooked. Becoming straight requires a square and a compass, or divider. There must be a standard by which to measure anything. We cannot just assume straightness, the world is round, and has no plane, or standard for straightness. We need real, tangible, absolute tools to measure our straightness. A chalk line marks a straight line. The square makes the vertical at 90 degrees, or perpendicular. They straighten us out.
The tools that make us straight are the standards of righteousness. They are found in the Scriptures, the Ten Commandments, and other words of the prophets. They are covenants that we make with God, and commandments He gives us personally through the Holy Ghost. The purpose for all of Holy Writ is to give us a standard by which we can measure ourselves to see what “straight.” All the words of the prophets speak of our Standard, Jesus Christ. He is the only standard by which we can measure ourselves.
“He marked the path and led the way, And ev'ry point defines
To light and life and endless day Where God's full presence shines.”
(Hymn 195:4)
He showed us the way by coming to Earth, taking on Himself the weaknesses of mortality, and pioneering the path back to God.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
Though we cannot justify ourselves and remove the shame we feel, Jesus Christ can justify us through His atonement. He has paid the price for us so we have the opportunity to change. As we change, and become straight, all that we did in the past while we were crooked is covered by Him. Thus, faith in Him is how we begin to make a change and become straight.
Finding yourself -- warts and all
Being straight does not mean that we don’t have imperfections and weaknesses, we still have them, it’s just that we begin to understand that weaknesses are strengths, in the right context. If we continue to harbor fear, and loneliness, wasting our lives trying to deny it, or justify ourselves, then our lives will be on a merry-go-round, doing the same things, and getting the same results. But if we turn and face our fears, our lack, our vulnerability, we can use them as a springboard to move ahead.
Brené Brown explains in The Gifts of Imperfection, that we all experience shame because of our weaknesses and imperfections. The way to handle this, though, is not to hide as most do, but rather to confess and work with our weaknesses, to become ourselves, warts and all. We can form relationships, start businesses, and do our art, using our talents in spite of our fears. We can even celebrate and be grateful for our weaknesses because they make us who we are. It takes courage to step forward and be ourselves, to move ahead in spite of weaknesses, open to the criticism of others. However, as we accept our own weaknesses, we become more compassionate with others.
Following the Light
The Anatomy of Peace, by the Arbinger Institute, is a treatise on how and why we separate ourselves from others, seeing them as objects, and how we can begin to see them as people. We do this by following the voice inside, our conscience, that tells us what we can do for others. When we obey, we begin to see them as people, and when we don’t, they remain things.
By acknowledging our weaknesses, and accepting them, we learn to see, understand, and have compassion for the weaknesses of others, and in this way we begin to straighten out our crooked lives. Being a little straighter gives us the desire, and power, to continue on that path until we meet the Standard. It’s not a event, it’s a process. It isn’t just a dip in the road of life, it is the road, it is life. The purpose of our life is to “straighten-up and fly right.” Each path is different. Unless we are told by God, we can never advise others by giving directions on where to go, all we can do is explain to them how they can find their own path, which first requires that we first find our own.
Real self-esteem
Being straight gives us confidence.
“Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God;” (D&C 121:45)
The quality of compassion for others begins when we have compassion for ourselves. When we face our fears and imperfections, it gives us room to see and accept those in others. And when we are no longer in denial or justification of our shame we can gain control of our thoughts. Being straight gives us confidence when facing straightness. We won’t be crooked so we won’t feel ashamed in the presence of God, the standard of straightness.
No one is alone
Though our path seems lonely, we are always guided and are never alone. The moment we step out with courage to face our own shortcomings, we will be guided on an amazing path that leads to love, glory, honor, and riches beyond imagination. We cannot do it alone. We don’t even know the goal because we cannot see it or understand it. We can only trust that God knows the end from the beginning, and we can follow Jesus Christ to peace, love and happiness, the very purpose for our existence.
“Men are, that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25)
Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, has written several books on the subject of shame, and the courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to make mistakes, in order to heal. Shame is a universal human experience. Every person in every society, country, and village experiences shame.
Shame is often confused as guilt. Guilt is when we feel that we did something wrong. It is tied to a specific action, or something we do. Shame, on the other hand, is feeling that we are flawed, that we don’t measure-up to a standard, that we aren’t good enough, or that we are somehow unfit.
There are three ways to deal with shame.
1. Denial
2. Justification
3. Change
Denial
Most in the world are in denial of their shame. They immerse themselves in the physical senses, focused on their own bodies, while completely neglecting the duality of existence. They don’t know, nor do they care to know, their heart, afraid that they might find flaws.
Those in denial will naturally be suspicious of their feelings and the feelings of others. Since they feel shame, but deny it, they must doubt all of their feelings, hiding and denying their own heart. Unable to trust their own feelings, they rely only on what they can demonstrate to others. They become pseudo-scientists, insisting that God be taken out of society. They deny god exists, or that He can’t be proven.
Those in denial still feel shame, but they continue to deny it exists, or they deny that it’s real or true, requiring that they deny there is a heart, or a spirit. Since the mind is a one-act stage, they can push out all that is in their heart by narrowly focusing on what their five senses give them, and what they can physically demonstrate to others. They work hard in the world, focused on their work and play, accomplishing much, but never finding themselves. They may do a lot, but don’t live to fulfill their purpose.
Self-Justification
To “justify” means to “make straight.” We know in our hearts we are crooked, that is the reason for our shame, and we need to be made straight. We don’t deny that we are imperfect and flawed, we just need some way to make it alright -- or appear to be straight by some form of justification. There are four basic ways to justify ourselves.
1. Self-help
2. Comparing to others
3. Perfectionism
4. Excusing ourselves
Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps
Many seek to justify themselves; believing they can straighten themselves. They work very hard to fix themselves. They go to self-help seminars seeking some information that will change them. They read self-help books. They have mentors, living and dead, to guide them through life. They work hard to get better and better, straighter and more justified. They seem to be getting better every day, and being perfect is only a little way off. These are the “good” people of the Earth. They go to church or side with some other group that is “right.” They do the “right” thing, like being vegetarian, saving the whales, the environment, or otherwise having a cause to fight for. They see the shame in their heart, and seek to rid themselves of it by becoming better and better so they can measure-up, eventually.
Compared to you...
Another way to justify ourselves is in comparing ourselves to others. We believe that we will never be straight so we find an excuse. We point the finger at others; we don't need to be good, just better than others. We start looking at everything as relative since nothing seems to be absolute. Being relatively better than others is comforting for our shame. The shame never dissipates so we will always be in competition with people around us, exposing their weaknesses to make ourselves look better. This competition can also cause us to seek big things. We want more money, a bigger house, a better swimming pool, or a nicer car. We don’t need all the money or things, we just need it to be more than others so we can feel justified in comparison, like Einstein, “I’m not a genius, you’re all just stupid.”.
Perfectionism
Some are perfectionists, believing they can do everything right in an absolute sense. There is a right way, and a lot of wrong ways. They always choose the right, being perfect and upright, like Job. They don’t compare themselves to others, there isn’t any competition. They don’t look at others or judge others, but they are their own harshest critics.
Can I be excused?
A fourth way to justify ourselves is by making excuses. We excuse ourselves because of all the things outside of our control that cause us to be crooked. “It’s not me, it’s my genes.” Is one modern method. The scientific doctrine of genetic determinism has been used for decades to explain why people do things, and feel certain ways. Others cite their upbringing, poverty, wealth, mold exposure, toxic environment, or other factor outside of their control. Many of these also blame others, mean people, neighbors, disloyal friends, parents, siblings, the boss, or other people who had some power over them and abused them. Thus, they can be justified in being crooked because they were made that way by factors they can’t control. There are many who continually put themselves in hateful situations again and again to prove that it’s not their fault, they are justified, or excused.
Illness is very commonly used to excuse us when we don’t measure-up. The husband of a patient with cancer said, “Cancer is the most common form of suicide.” He had studied the current treatments, both orthodox and alternative, and found that most people chose to take those things that held little promise of helping. They wanted to feel like they were doing something, so they wouldn't feel guilty, while really doing nothing. Others get chronic illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, and Lyme disease. They remain in the diseased state to rest from their labors, not being required to grow up, care for themselves and others, and live life. Disease is a great excuse.
Insanity
No matter what form or how perfect our justification, we still feel shame and need to continuously seek more justification. There is no end, because the shame persists, but we keep trying. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting different results". (Attributed to Ben Franklin, ancient Chinese proverb, Albert Einstein, and Rita Mae Browne) There is value to persistence. If you are a gymnast and you keep trying to “stick the landing,” you keep trying over and over until you get it right. However, if you’re “trying to find gold in a silver mine” or “trying to drink whiskey from a bottle of wine,” it becomes insanity. (John Nash indicated that there is some choice in insanity, “It was like a tornado, you want to hold on to everything you have, you don't want to let anything go.” -- Sylvia Nasar, A Beautiful Mind) The “insanity” is doing the wrong thing and expecting the right thing to come out.
"You cannot do wrong and feel right. It is impossible!" - Ezra Taft Benson
Thus, all the attempts to deny our shame or justify ourselves amount to an impossibility. Like the gambler who is just one pull away from a jackpot, we continue to feed the lie, addicted to our “right” way of doing things.
Removing Shame
The antidote is to actually find a way to remove shame. The way to deal with our feelings is to understand the cause. We feel shame because of deficiencies that we perceive in ourselves. Humans are needy, and imperfect. We fear we are unworthy of communion with others and might be rejected. These are a reality that we must deal with directly. We need to face our weaknesses and change our hearts.
Unless we become straight, there is no way to avoid the shame of being crooked. Becoming straight requires a square and a compass, or divider. There must be a standard by which to measure anything. We cannot just assume straightness, the world is round, and has no plane, or standard for straightness. We need real, tangible, absolute tools to measure our straightness. A chalk line marks a straight line. The square makes the vertical at 90 degrees, or perpendicular. They straighten us out.
The tools that make us straight are the standards of righteousness. They are found in the Scriptures, the Ten Commandments, and other words of the prophets. They are covenants that we make with God, and commandments He gives us personally through the Holy Ghost. The purpose for all of Holy Writ is to give us a standard by which we can measure ourselves to see what “straight.” All the words of the prophets speak of our Standard, Jesus Christ. He is the only standard by which we can measure ourselves.
“He marked the path and led the way, And ev'ry point defines
To light and life and endless day Where God's full presence shines.”
(Hymn 195:4)
He showed us the way by coming to Earth, taking on Himself the weaknesses of mortality, and pioneering the path back to God.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
Though we cannot justify ourselves and remove the shame we feel, Jesus Christ can justify us through His atonement. He has paid the price for us so we have the opportunity to change. As we change, and become straight, all that we did in the past while we were crooked is covered by Him. Thus, faith in Him is how we begin to make a change and become straight.
Finding yourself -- warts and all
Being straight does not mean that we don’t have imperfections and weaknesses, we still have them, it’s just that we begin to understand that weaknesses are strengths, in the right context. If we continue to harbor fear, and loneliness, wasting our lives trying to deny it, or justify ourselves, then our lives will be on a merry-go-round, doing the same things, and getting the same results. But if we turn and face our fears, our lack, our vulnerability, we can use them as a springboard to move ahead.
Brené Brown explains in The Gifts of Imperfection, that we all experience shame because of our weaknesses and imperfections. The way to handle this, though, is not to hide as most do, but rather to confess and work with our weaknesses, to become ourselves, warts and all. We can form relationships, start businesses, and do our art, using our talents in spite of our fears. We can even celebrate and be grateful for our weaknesses because they make us who we are. It takes courage to step forward and be ourselves, to move ahead in spite of weaknesses, open to the criticism of others. However, as we accept our own weaknesses, we become more compassionate with others.
Following the Light
The Anatomy of Peace, by the Arbinger Institute, is a treatise on how and why we separate ourselves from others, seeing them as objects, and how we can begin to see them as people. We do this by following the voice inside, our conscience, that tells us what we can do for others. When we obey, we begin to see them as people, and when we don’t, they remain things.
By acknowledging our weaknesses, and accepting them, we learn to see, understand, and have compassion for the weaknesses of others, and in this way we begin to straighten out our crooked lives. Being a little straighter gives us the desire, and power, to continue on that path until we meet the Standard. It’s not a event, it’s a process. It isn’t just a dip in the road of life, it is the road, it is life. The purpose of our life is to “straighten-up and fly right.” Each path is different. Unless we are told by God, we can never advise others by giving directions on where to go, all we can do is explain to them how they can find their own path, which first requires that we first find our own.
Real self-esteem
Being straight gives us confidence.
“Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God;” (D&C 121:45)
The quality of compassion for others begins when we have compassion for ourselves. When we face our fears and imperfections, it gives us room to see and accept those in others. And when we are no longer in denial or justification of our shame we can gain control of our thoughts. Being straight gives us confidence when facing straightness. We won’t be crooked so we won’t feel ashamed in the presence of God, the standard of straightness.
No one is alone
Though our path seems lonely, we are always guided and are never alone. The moment we step out with courage to face our own shortcomings, we will be guided on an amazing path that leads to love, glory, honor, and riches beyond imagination. We cannot do it alone. We don’t even know the goal because we cannot see it or understand it. We can only trust that God knows the end from the beginning, and we can follow Jesus Christ to peace, love and happiness, the very purpose for our existence.
“Men are, that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25)
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Making Justice Work in Your Favor
When I was at Nogales High School in La Puente, California, few of the students there went to college. I think for this reason, my fellow students would shake their heads at me when I told them I was going to medical school. They would ask, “How long that will take?”
“Eleven years.” (It actually took 15)
“Eleven more years! You’re only half-way through school! That’s crazy! I would never do that!”
Now, however, the difference is obvious. Having more education has given me many more opportunities in life. I paid the price, and now I reap the rewards.
A song from the movie The Sound of Music has a line, “Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could...” The Eternal principle of the justice, karma, or the law of the harvest can work against us, or for us. If we are trying to take things, to get away with something, to get something for nothing, or we are lazy, we will have to pay later. We must pay. Payment is required. There must be compensation for everything. The Universe must balance in ALL things! We can never get away with anything. This law is simply one aspect of the greater law of justice.
Everything must be equal, and justice must be served, or God would cease to be God. “What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God.” (Alma 42:25) Justice is one of the two principles that God must obey, or He would no longer be God. This is the reason that all things must balance among all the creations of God. There must be good. There must be evil. The two must balance. Evil is to take now and pay later. Good is to pay now and receive later.
The law can work for us, or against us. We can be sure that if we take now, we will pay later. Or, we can know that if we pay now, we must receive later, we use the law in our favor. In the big picture, all suffering is paid with joy and happiness in Eternity. Likewise, all wealth, ease, and comforts that are not earned in advance must be paid in sorrow and suffering.
Everyone has his price
We are bought with a price. Some are cheap, and can be bought with fake money, paper, or coins. Others require the soul of another. However, those who believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ, are bought with His blood. Their price is high, it is the price of the blood of the Creator.
Christ exemplifies the law of the harvest. He suffered all things, and is paid by the Eternal gratitude of all he saves for God. When the Nephites understood the word, Hosanna, and Christ came to them, they knelt at His feet and worshipped Him. “And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.” (3 Nephi 17:20) He paid the price in advance, and now reaps the rewards by saving all those who believe in Him. He has the power to gather all to Him.
Justice requires that the individual who made the decision to hurt another pay the price to bring balance back to the Universe. I cannot suffer for the sins of my brother, he must pay the price for his own. Amulek explains: “Now there is not any man that can sacrifice his own blood which will atone for the sins of another. Now, if a man murdereth, behold will our law, which is just, take the life of his brother? I say unto you, Nay. But the law requireth the life of him who hath murdered;
(Alma 34:11-12)
However, it also requires that those who suffer innocently receive recompense. Both sides must balance. The Lord explained to Joseph Smith, the prophet, how the law of justice makes the atonement work in our favor.
His innocent sufferings and death require some sort of recompense. The scales must balance, and He is owed a great debt by the law of justice. How can He possibly be paid for such suffering? He can take those who believe in Him, and repent, into Eternal Life. They are spared of suffering the fate of their own sins because He must be remunerated, the scales must balance. He cannot take sinners into Heaven, they must pay for their own, but those who change and turn from their sins are no longer guilty so they can be bought.
Pie-in-the-sky
Jesus Christ is our example in all things. We only find happiness in following Him. He gave us the perfect example of allowing suffering in the world, and receiving a recompense after. He didn’t have a home. He was rejected by His own people. He was hated, smitten, beaten, and hung on a cross. It was still inside His power to command the elements so He could have avoided such injustice -- but He allowed it so He would have the power to help us through our probation. We can receive good for evil because of Him. His suffering covers for our misdeeds. Thus we can escape justice -- through Him. There is no other way. We must follow Him.
“Jesus, once of humble birth, Now in glory comes to earth.
Once he suffered grief and pain; Now he comes on earth to reign.
Once a meek and lowly Lamb, Now the Lord, the great I Am.
Once upon the cross he bowed; Now his chariot is the cloud.
Once he groaned in blood and tears; Now in glory he appears.
Once rejected by his own, Now their King he shall be known.
Once forsaken, left alone, Now exalted to a throne.
Once all things he meekly bore, But he now will bear no more.”
(Hymn 196:1-4)
When we realize the power in the law of justice, we can see that it is our only way out. All things must be fair and balanced. We must receive recompense in the next life for all our unjust suffering while here on Earth. It requires that we have faith in God, that He is just. Faith allows us to suspend justice, wait for it, be patient in suffering, and “suffer all things the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us].”
Suspend Justice
While we are on the Earth, we must give up our sense of justice if we are to reap a harvest of good things. We are suspended in a world between Heaven and Hell, called time. During this mortal life we are on probation. All things are before us, but we cannot see those things that are in Eternity. This gives us an opportunity to choose who we are. We can decide that we are holy, meaning separate from the world, or we can become filthy and miserable. Since this is outside of Heaven, it doesn’t require justice, or balance in all things. We do make decisions, we hurt others, we are hurt by others, but the balancing of the scales will not happen until we’re outside of here.
For this reason, we notice that there is no justice in the world. People who are “good” suffer. The saying, filled with irony, goes: “No good deed shall go unpunished.” We see those who trample on the lives of others getting wealth and the good things of the Earth, and wonder, where is justice? There is none, yet. There is a time for everything,
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
The time for justice is not yet. We are still on probation. We do not reap in this life, we only sow. If we are sowing a life of ease for ourselves, we will have to pay later to balance-out what we have received. If we are sacrificing, and suffering injustice, we will receive good things. We still have time to repent, as long as we’re here. However, we may leave this life without warning, and the time is done; we will then each “reap what we have sown” to exacting proportions. Nothing will be left out, everything will be balanced perfectly.
Pay Now, Play Later
Part of following Christ is paying up front, with faith that every debt will be paid. The more we give now, the greater will be our “harvest” when all things are made equal. The parable of Lazarus and the rich man is instructive:
“And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.” (Luke 16:22-23)
The rich man is paying the price of his comfort to balance the scales. Likewise, it is just that Lazarus receive a balanced recompense for his suffering.
“But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.” (Luke 16:25)
The rich man then asked Abraham to send an angel to warn his kin. He wanted them to repent before they die so they wouldn’t have to suffer the same fate. Knowing that the Lord, Jesus Christ, paid for all our injustice makes all the difference in the world. We will not be required to pay for all of the suffering we have caused others in the world. If we turn to Him, and repent of all our wrongs, we get the most merciful injustice that could ever be given: we can reap the rewards of all our unjust suffering, but not have to pay for our errors. He shifts the balance. He tilts the scales in our favor. Once we understand what He has done, we can take full advantage of it by changing our lives from selfish to selfless. We will give, instead of take. We will pay now, with a knowledge that we will receive only reward for our suffering.
Make Justice work in your favor
Our philosophy then changes to: “pay in advance.” Give. Sacrifice. Give money freely. Give time freely. Give your efforts to others. Give when nobody is looking. Live to give. Give to your enemies. Do good to those who hurt you. Do more than you are asked. “We should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the hidden things of darkness.” (D&C 123:13) Forgive everyone of everything. Give up your need for immediate justice and put your trust in God that He is just. Pay the price now. Accept suffering without complaint; revealing your suffering in life removes your recompense later. Do all you can to make your life hard; “be not weary in well-doing.” (D&C 64:33) Don’t reveal any sacrifices you make. Say nothing, just give the widow’s mite. Give yourself into poverty. Suffer more that others may have less suffering. There is no bottom, there is no end, just give now. The law of justice will then, through Christ, work in your favor.
“Eleven years.” (It actually took 15)
“Eleven more years! You’re only half-way through school! That’s crazy! I would never do that!”
Now, however, the difference is obvious. Having more education has given me many more opportunities in life. I paid the price, and now I reap the rewards.
A song from the movie The Sound of Music has a line, “Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could...” The Eternal principle of the justice, karma, or the law of the harvest can work against us, or for us. If we are trying to take things, to get away with something, to get something for nothing, or we are lazy, we will have to pay later. We must pay. Payment is required. There must be compensation for everything. The Universe must balance in ALL things! We can never get away with anything. This law is simply one aspect of the greater law of justice.
Everything must be equal, and justice must be served, or God would cease to be God. “What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God.” (Alma 42:25) Justice is one of the two principles that God must obey, or He would no longer be God. This is the reason that all things must balance among all the creations of God. There must be good. There must be evil. The two must balance. Evil is to take now and pay later. Good is to pay now and receive later.
The law can work for us, or against us. We can be sure that if we take now, we will pay later. Or, we can know that if we pay now, we must receive later, we use the law in our favor. In the big picture, all suffering is paid with joy and happiness in Eternity. Likewise, all wealth, ease, and comforts that are not earned in advance must be paid in sorrow and suffering.
Everyone has his price
We are bought with a price. Some are cheap, and can be bought with fake money, paper, or coins. Others require the soul of another. However, those who believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ, are bought with His blood. Their price is high, it is the price of the blood of the Creator.
Christ exemplifies the law of the harvest. He suffered all things, and is paid by the Eternal gratitude of all he saves for God. When the Nephites understood the word, Hosanna, and Christ came to them, they knelt at His feet and worshipped Him. “And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.” (3 Nephi 17:20) He paid the price in advance, and now reaps the rewards by saving all those who believe in Him. He has the power to gather all to Him.
Justice requires that the individual who made the decision to hurt another pay the price to bring balance back to the Universe. I cannot suffer for the sins of my brother, he must pay the price for his own. Amulek explains: “Now there is not any man that can sacrifice his own blood which will atone for the sins of another. Now, if a man murdereth, behold will our law, which is just, take the life of his brother? I say unto you, Nay. But the law requireth the life of him who hath murdered;
(Alma 34:11-12)
However, it also requires that those who suffer innocently receive recompense. Both sides must balance. The Lord explained to Joseph Smith, the prophet, how the law of justice makes the atonement work in our favor.
Listen to him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before him—Saying: Father, behold the sufferings and death of him who did no sin, in whom thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of thy Son which was shed, the blood of him whom thou gavest that thyself might be glorified; Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life. (D&C 45:3-5)
His innocent sufferings and death require some sort of recompense. The scales must balance, and He is owed a great debt by the law of justice. How can He possibly be paid for such suffering? He can take those who believe in Him, and repent, into Eternal Life. They are spared of suffering the fate of their own sins because He must be remunerated, the scales must balance. He cannot take sinners into Heaven, they must pay for their own, but those who change and turn from their sins are no longer guilty so they can be bought.
Pie-in-the-sky
Jesus Christ is our example in all things. We only find happiness in following Him. He gave us the perfect example of allowing suffering in the world, and receiving a recompense after. He didn’t have a home. He was rejected by His own people. He was hated, smitten, beaten, and hung on a cross. It was still inside His power to command the elements so He could have avoided such injustice -- but He allowed it so He would have the power to help us through our probation. We can receive good for evil because of Him. His suffering covers for our misdeeds. Thus we can escape justice -- through Him. There is no other way. We must follow Him.
“Jesus, once of humble birth, Now in glory comes to earth.
Once he suffered grief and pain; Now he comes on earth to reign.
Once a meek and lowly Lamb, Now the Lord, the great I Am.
Once upon the cross he bowed; Now his chariot is the cloud.
Once he groaned in blood and tears; Now in glory he appears.
Once rejected by his own, Now their King he shall be known.
Once forsaken, left alone, Now exalted to a throne.
Once all things he meekly bore, But he now will bear no more.”
(Hymn 196:1-4)
When we realize the power in the law of justice, we can see that it is our only way out. All things must be fair and balanced. We must receive recompense in the next life for all our unjust suffering while here on Earth. It requires that we have faith in God, that He is just. Faith allows us to suspend justice, wait for it, be patient in suffering, and “suffer all things the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us].”
Suspend Justice
While we are on the Earth, we must give up our sense of justice if we are to reap a harvest of good things. We are suspended in a world between Heaven and Hell, called time. During this mortal life we are on probation. All things are before us, but we cannot see those things that are in Eternity. This gives us an opportunity to choose who we are. We can decide that we are holy, meaning separate from the world, or we can become filthy and miserable. Since this is outside of Heaven, it doesn’t require justice, or balance in all things. We do make decisions, we hurt others, we are hurt by others, but the balancing of the scales will not happen until we’re outside of here.
For this reason, we notice that there is no justice in the world. People who are “good” suffer. The saying, filled with irony, goes: “No good deed shall go unpunished.” We see those who trample on the lives of others getting wealth and the good things of the Earth, and wonder, where is justice? There is none, yet. There is a time for everything,
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
The time for justice is not yet. We are still on probation. We do not reap in this life, we only sow. If we are sowing a life of ease for ourselves, we will have to pay later to balance-out what we have received. If we are sacrificing, and suffering injustice, we will receive good things. We still have time to repent, as long as we’re here. However, we may leave this life without warning, and the time is done; we will then each “reap what we have sown” to exacting proportions. Nothing will be left out, everything will be balanced perfectly.
Pay Now, Play Later
Part of following Christ is paying up front, with faith that every debt will be paid. The more we give now, the greater will be our “harvest” when all things are made equal. The parable of Lazarus and the rich man is instructive:
“And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.” (Luke 16:22-23)
The rich man is paying the price of his comfort to balance the scales. Likewise, it is just that Lazarus receive a balanced recompense for his suffering.
“But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.” (Luke 16:25)
The rich man then asked Abraham to send an angel to warn his kin. He wanted them to repent before they die so they wouldn’t have to suffer the same fate. Knowing that the Lord, Jesus Christ, paid for all our injustice makes all the difference in the world. We will not be required to pay for all of the suffering we have caused others in the world. If we turn to Him, and repent of all our wrongs, we get the most merciful injustice that could ever be given: we can reap the rewards of all our unjust suffering, but not have to pay for our errors. He shifts the balance. He tilts the scales in our favor. Once we understand what He has done, we can take full advantage of it by changing our lives from selfish to selfless. We will give, instead of take. We will pay now, with a knowledge that we will receive only reward for our suffering.
Make Justice work in your favor
Our philosophy then changes to: “pay in advance.” Give. Sacrifice. Give money freely. Give time freely. Give your efforts to others. Give when nobody is looking. Live to give. Give to your enemies. Do good to those who hurt you. Do more than you are asked. “We should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the hidden things of darkness.” (D&C 123:13) Forgive everyone of everything. Give up your need for immediate justice and put your trust in God that He is just. Pay the price now. Accept suffering without complaint; revealing your suffering in life removes your recompense later. Do all you can to make your life hard; “be not weary in well-doing.” (D&C 64:33) Don’t reveal any sacrifices you make. Say nothing, just give the widow’s mite. Give yourself into poverty. Suffer more that others may have less suffering. There is no bottom, there is no end, just give now. The law of justice will then, through Christ, work in your favor.
Sunday, December 18, 2016
The Power of Modesty
Last week I watched a video of two women playing music. One was dressed in tight-fitting pants, and the other had on a long dress. As I watched, I realized that I could focus on one as a musician, and a person, while the other was focused on the body. The woman in pants was very attractive, slim, and good-looking, which was how I characterized her. The woman in the dress was also pretty, but my focus for her was on her music, her expressions, and her style. In other words, seeing the shape of the body of the first woman took the focus off of her as a person, and on to her body.
Men are attracted to women. Men want a woman. Men are not complete without a woman. This is a truth that is Eternal. There is no way around that, it is immutable. It has been around since there have been men and women. The evolutionist sees this as simply the need to reproduce, but there is so much more. The body of a woman represents salvation from loneliness. Her form is attractive. To look upon a woman who is attractive is just like a magnet. A beautiful woman inspires awe in a man. She is awesome! This attraction represents an absolute truth: that it is not good for man to be alone, he is nothing without a woman. The two of them together form a complete being. He needs her to complete him; she is essential to his salvation.
A man sees an attractive woman as a potential mate. The attraction makes him feel like she can save him. She is his hope for fulfillment of the need for unity. Her body represents that need. His need is so strong that simply seeing her form creates desire. Seeing her shape elicits the need. Seeing her skin feels like intimacy; it’s so close he can almost touch it. It instills need within him that he doesn’t even recognize, a need to possess what he sees.
Addiction
Last week I was in Las Vegas at a convention, and as I was going to the morning meeting a man asked for money for breakfast. There was a Denny's nearby so I took him to breakfast and asked him about his life. His name is Tommy. He sleeps in casinos because it’s very cold outside, and they’re open all night. He’s 61, a welder, but disabled, and has lots of family in Oklahoma City, but none in Las Vegas. He came to the city 23 years earlier to make his fortune so he could go back and take care of his children. He has over ten grandchildren whom he has never met, and a few great grandchildren. He needs to go home with a million dollars, and is just waiting for his big break. He has a perfect system to win on the craps table, but he just needs a thousand dollars to be able to work it. He would then make his million, and go home to his family, being able to give them what they want, as he perceives it. He just needs enough money. It’s so close, he can taste it!
Women capitalize on the trait they all possess, this power they have over men. They always have. They use their body to extract what they want from a man, his money, his time, his attention, his efforts, without really caring about him. Pornography is simply women offering their bodies for money, and then giving nothing in return. Men only get the picture, the form, but they get no substance. It’s empty -- a broken promise. He gets nothing. It’s like gaming to a gambler, it feels like it’s possible to connect with the dream, which are then shattered over and over again. But, the dream persists, in spite of being broken. The dream is beyond his power to crush because the need is real, and eternal, and achieving it seems so close. Many men get caught up in this trap and lose what’s really important in life.
Relationships between men and women in our society are too often based on using each other to get what we want. Women use men to get attention, and men use women for gratification of sexual desires. Each has needs to fill, and each selfishly seeks to fill their own needs at the expense of the other. At the core of immodesty, a woman is trying to use her body to attract a man. This is just like pornography, only she isn’t necessarily looking for money, she does it for his attention. A woman needs attention, which makes her feel like a connection is possible. Thus, the two needs fit like a hand in a glove, only it isn’t really love, it is really selfish, using the other to fill their own needs.
The power of revealing dress
Immodest dress takes the focus off the person who is the woman, and puts it on the object that is her body. A woman doesn’t even need to say a single word, and she can be the object of a man’s desire. Women complain when they get what they want, attention, that they are seen as objects. Men look on a beautiful woman as something he needs, like money, a car, or anything in the world. The woman is more than just a car, but she is still an object - she is her body when he sees it. She is defined by what he sees. The power of immodesty only gets her something that seems like what she needs, but never the real thing.
If a couple marries based on this attraction or dream, they often struggle. As the object turns into a person over time, many couples realize that the other cannot fill the need. They decide that they don’t need the other, and “fall out of love.” Coming to know the person may split them apart, if they aren’t compatible. He will see the body of another woman, and feel like she could be a better fit. Thus, a man can go from body to body, never finding "the one" because he never gets to know the person. This is just as addicting as pornography; it feels like it could fill the need, if he could just find the right body.
Modesty
On the other hand, modest dress hides a woman’s body from the man so he sees her as a person instead of an object. If he doesn’t see her form, he may still be attracted to her, but instead of her body, he will see her, and get to know her, as a person. The attention shifts from the body to the person. The woman may then get a more desirable attention because to him she is a person, instead of an object. At the same time, the man gets a more desirable connection with a woman, instead of just a body. As he gets to know her personality, he can be very attracted to who she is, instead of what she is. She is no longer an object to fill his need for connection, but a person who can fill his need for a connection. They still fall in love based on their own needs, but the object of love is different, being “who” instead of “what.”
Modesty is an important part of creating relationships that last. The couple that falls in love with each other as people instead of objects would seem to have a stronger foundation. If they fall in love with the person, they would more likely continue to grow in that love. In this way, the more modest a woman is, the less she reveals about her body, the more likely she is to form a loving and permanent connection. She would only reveal her body to him after they are married, and he can continue to fall in love with her each time they come together, and in between, he still loves her as a person. The man gets what he really wants and needs, a real woman to complete him, the whole thing -- body and soul. And, the woman gets what she wants and needs, his continued attention, love and devotion. Both become complete, finding fulfillment in unity and love. This is the power of modesty.
Men are attracted to women. Men want a woman. Men are not complete without a woman. This is a truth that is Eternal. There is no way around that, it is immutable. It has been around since there have been men and women. The evolutionist sees this as simply the need to reproduce, but there is so much more. The body of a woman represents salvation from loneliness. Her form is attractive. To look upon a woman who is attractive is just like a magnet. A beautiful woman inspires awe in a man. She is awesome! This attraction represents an absolute truth: that it is not good for man to be alone, he is nothing without a woman. The two of them together form a complete being. He needs her to complete him; she is essential to his salvation.
A man sees an attractive woman as a potential mate. The attraction makes him feel like she can save him. She is his hope for fulfillment of the need for unity. Her body represents that need. His need is so strong that simply seeing her form creates desire. Seeing her shape elicits the need. Seeing her skin feels like intimacy; it’s so close he can almost touch it. It instills need within him that he doesn’t even recognize, a need to possess what he sees.
Addiction
Last week I was in Las Vegas at a convention, and as I was going to the morning meeting a man asked for money for breakfast. There was a Denny's nearby so I took him to breakfast and asked him about his life. His name is Tommy. He sleeps in casinos because it’s very cold outside, and they’re open all night. He’s 61, a welder, but disabled, and has lots of family in Oklahoma City, but none in Las Vegas. He came to the city 23 years earlier to make his fortune so he could go back and take care of his children. He has over ten grandchildren whom he has never met, and a few great grandchildren. He needs to go home with a million dollars, and is just waiting for his big break. He has a perfect system to win on the craps table, but he just needs a thousand dollars to be able to work it. He would then make his million, and go home to his family, being able to give them what they want, as he perceives it. He just needs enough money. It’s so close, he can taste it!
Women capitalize on the trait they all possess, this power they have over men. They always have. They use their body to extract what they want from a man, his money, his time, his attention, his efforts, without really caring about him. Pornography is simply women offering their bodies for money, and then giving nothing in return. Men only get the picture, the form, but they get no substance. It’s empty -- a broken promise. He gets nothing. It’s like gaming to a gambler, it feels like it’s possible to connect with the dream, which are then shattered over and over again. But, the dream persists, in spite of being broken. The dream is beyond his power to crush because the need is real, and eternal, and achieving it seems so close. Many men get caught up in this trap and lose what’s really important in life.
Relationships between men and women in our society are too often based on using each other to get what we want. Women use men to get attention, and men use women for gratification of sexual desires. Each has needs to fill, and each selfishly seeks to fill their own needs at the expense of the other. At the core of immodesty, a woman is trying to use her body to attract a man. This is just like pornography, only she isn’t necessarily looking for money, she does it for his attention. A woman needs attention, which makes her feel like a connection is possible. Thus, the two needs fit like a hand in a glove, only it isn’t really love, it is really selfish, using the other to fill their own needs.
The power of revealing dress
Immodest dress takes the focus off the person who is the woman, and puts it on the object that is her body. A woman doesn’t even need to say a single word, and she can be the object of a man’s desire. Women complain when they get what they want, attention, that they are seen as objects. Men look on a beautiful woman as something he needs, like money, a car, or anything in the world. The woman is more than just a car, but she is still an object - she is her body when he sees it. She is defined by what he sees. The power of immodesty only gets her something that seems like what she needs, but never the real thing.
If a couple marries based on this attraction or dream, they often struggle. As the object turns into a person over time, many couples realize that the other cannot fill the need. They decide that they don’t need the other, and “fall out of love.” Coming to know the person may split them apart, if they aren’t compatible. He will see the body of another woman, and feel like she could be a better fit. Thus, a man can go from body to body, never finding "the one" because he never gets to know the person. This is just as addicting as pornography; it feels like it could fill the need, if he could just find the right body.
Modesty
On the other hand, modest dress hides a woman’s body from the man so he sees her as a person instead of an object. If he doesn’t see her form, he may still be attracted to her, but instead of her body, he will see her, and get to know her, as a person. The attention shifts from the body to the person. The woman may then get a more desirable attention because to him she is a person, instead of an object. At the same time, the man gets a more desirable connection with a woman, instead of just a body. As he gets to know her personality, he can be very attracted to who she is, instead of what she is. She is no longer an object to fill his need for connection, but a person who can fill his need for a connection. They still fall in love based on their own needs, but the object of love is different, being “who” instead of “what.”
Modesty is an important part of creating relationships that last. The couple that falls in love with each other as people instead of objects would seem to have a stronger foundation. If they fall in love with the person, they would more likely continue to grow in that love. In this way, the more modest a woman is, the less she reveals about her body, the more likely she is to form a loving and permanent connection. She would only reveal her body to him after they are married, and he can continue to fall in love with her each time they come together, and in between, he still loves her as a person. The man gets what he really wants and needs, a real woman to complete him, the whole thing -- body and soul. And, the woman gets what she wants and needs, his continued attention, love and devotion. Both become complete, finding fulfillment in unity and love. This is the power of modesty.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
The Greatest Goal of Life
You cannot change what is in the past, but, like “Groundhog Day” every day you wake up, you get to start over. You don’t know where you’re going so I’m going to tell you. There is only ONE reason you’re here:
I want to explain why you’re a member of this church, and not some other. It’s because there is more information, more knowledge. The bottom-line of what Joseph Smith, the prophet, did is restore lost knowledge. What was lost? Knowledge of the Celestial Glory of Heaven.
Everyone knew about “heaven” and “hell.” Ask any religion throughout the ages what Heaven is and they will describe exactly what we know as the Terrestrial Kingdom, the “honorable people of the Earth.” Ask about hell and they will describe the Telestial Kingdom – the “murderers, liars, whoremongers, and cheaters.” What does it take to get into heaven? Kneel and confess Jesus Christ. It’s all true. All are EXACTLY correct in that knowledge, but something was missing. What was missing? The higher glory, or Celestial Kingdom. It was there all the time in the Bible. The Apostle Paul spoke of the glory of the sun, moon, and stars – 3 glories. He also spoke of the third heaven. But, these were not understood, the knowledge of them was lost completely, until restored by God through Joseph Smith, Jr.
When we don’t understand the big picture, things change. The requirement for entrance into this higher glory is baptism. If you don’t know about the higher glory then baptism becomes unimportant. And, indeed, as expected, Christians have argued for millennia over the need for baptism. All you need is to live a good life and you can go to Heaven, and if you live a bad life, you go to hell. And, since the ordinances were unnecessary, the priesthood authority was also not needed, and was lost.
So, here we are. The Gospel is restored. The authority and ordinances are back. We now know the way back to God, our Father in Heaven. We have a testimony. We’ve been baptized. We’re here. Done. Whew! The Celestial glory is ours – if we can only endure, right?
Yes, that’s true too. However, there’s more. Much more. As William W. Phelps wrote in the hymn, “If You Could Hie to Kolob”
“The works of God continue, And worlds and lives abound;
Improvement and progression Have one eternal round.
There is no end to matter; There is no end to space;
There is no end to spirit; There is no end to race.
There is no end to virtue; There is no end to might;
There is no end to wisdom; There is no end to light.
There is no end to union; There is no end to youth;
There is no end to priesthood; There is no end to truth.
There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;
There is no end to being; There is no death above.”
Hymn 284:3-5
As I was coming out of many years of “wandering in the wilderness” one thing that struck me is that existence is forever! We never cease to exist! It goes on and on! Nobody dies forever, we are only here to choose HOW we will go on. So, I decided to choose Eternal Life.
Above the door inside the chapel in Whittier, CA where I grew up there was a sign printed. Because it was right in front of me during every sacrament meeting until I was nine years old I memorized it, and it has become a guiding scripture for me. It is a verse from The Doctrine and Covenants section 14, verse 7: “And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.”
Getting on the "strait and narrow path"
Nephi explains the way very clearly at the end of his book, in 2 Nephi 31, where he repeats multiple times exactly what it takes to get on the path to Eternal Life:
“…for the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost. And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life;” (Nephi 31:17-18)
Jesus said, “strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” (Matthew 7:14) May I add that He is talking to His disciples? Few of them will find the path to Eternal Life.
There is more. There is no end. Rest is not found in doing nothing, it is paradoxically found in constant growth. We should not rest on our baptism, but start now to move forward on the path to Eternal Life.
Seeking Mentors
One essential part of growth is having an instructor, teacher, or mentor. As we grow up, we have our parents to mentor our growth, however, once we become mature, we have to find our own mentors
One example is given of Philip in the book of Acts:
“…a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority... had come to Jerusalem for to worship…
And Philip ran thither to him, and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest?
And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him…
Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. (Acts 8:27-35)
I currently have 5 mentors that I work with on a regular basis. My mom was very intellectually mature, and my dad was a mechanical genius, so they helped me in those areas, but neither of them were very socially, emotionally, or financially mature so I didn’t get tutored as much in these as I was growing up. Now, I need to learn so I need a guide. So, when my business was floundering, I called Frank Hovey. We went over our stuff, and he recommended a business coaching program. This has been a BIG help to me. Since I have seen the value of coaching, I now have:
• Business coach (Dr. Charles Webb)
• Life coach (Justin Jepsen)
• Emotional coach (Ann Ferguson)
• Heart coach (my wife :)
I also have coaches for learning the Gospel. Alma explained that one purpose of priesthood callings is to teach the commandments of the Lord. “And thus being called by this holy calling, and ordained unto the high priesthood of the holy order of God, to teach his commandments unto the children of men, that they also might enter into his rest.” (Alma 13:6) The prophets, apostles, and others with authority can be our mentors as we study their words, and live them.
Assemble your DREAM TEAM
In the book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill discusses a method he used to improve himself, finding teachers from the past including Ralph Waldo Emerson and Thomas Edison. He later added many others such as Socrates and Plato. He studied their lives, and their writings. He counseled with them every night, asking them individually for wisdom on a subject.
A team of mentors that might help you achieve Eternal Life might include those who you know have achieved it, or have mastered a part of it. I would suggest that you look for those people, past or present, who have what you want, or what you need to achieve your highest potential. It may be a quality of character, or a gift, and study the life of those people, and add them to your “dream team.”
Do not form your personal council until you know what you want. The wrong team will take you off course.
I know who I am; I know what I want; and I know my strengths and weaknesses so I am choosing a "dream team" to help me on my personal path of growth. Some of the members of my council include: Abraham, Jesus Christ, and Joseph Smith.
However, moving forward on the path to Eternal Life always requires only one coach -- the Holy Ghost must be your personal mentor. No matter what other counsel you are given from Earthly or Heavenly beings, you must always run it by the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is your personal guide – everything else is counsel, or opinion.
“Counsel with the Lord in ALL your doings…” All means all and all is all all means.
Ultimately, the greatest mentor we could have is the Holy Ghost. After baptism, we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands by those who have the authority, which gift is a simple commandment to receive Him. The gift is essential before starting on the path to Eternal Life.
How to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost
1. Memorize the 4th article of Faith
2. Then read: 2 Nephi chapter 31
These two will tell you exactly how to receive the Holy Ghost, and get on the path to Eternal Life.
Staying on the path
Read 2 Nephi chapter 32 – this chapter is how to stay on the path, it tells you exactly what you should do, including:
1. Feast upon the words of Christ
2. Pray always
Temple worship
Once you take the Holy Ghost as your guide, feasting daily from the Scriptures, and praying continually, those who desire Eternal Life need Temple Worship. The word “worship” means to seek a close, or intimate relationship. When we go to “The House of the Lord” we can seek a close relationship with Him through our service to others. Moreover, we have the opportunity to sit in the Celestial Room and counsel with our Father in Heaven where He symbolically dwells (the Celestial glory), without any disturbance, because evil spirits are not allowed in there.
In the Temple we find the ordinances required to reach the Celestial Kingdom. From there we step up into the sealing room to receive the highest ordinance -- Eternal Marriage. Without receiving and LIVING this ordinance, we cannot receive the gift of Eternal Life, the greatest of all the gifts of God.
I’m not sealed to anyone. My first wife had her name blotted out, and my second wife is sealed to my best friend. Those of us who aren’t sealed to anyone can still go to the temple and act as proxy for others, knowing that God will not deny ANY blessing that we desire.
Getting Started
If this seems difficult – may I also suggest simple ways to get started?
Improvement doesn’t come suddenly, it takes time. There is a simple principle for change that applies to all of life. How long does it take to physically grow up? We make little changes over a long time. By the same method, we can gain Eternal Life.
Make small changes
If we save $1 a day in an interest-bearing account, at the end of a year we have very little money. However, in a few decades it becomes a tremendous amount. Even with no interest you would have $15,000 in 40 years. With 10% interest, it goes up to $211,000.
The two most important parts of this equation are:
1. Consistency
2. Time (If you need patience, then ask Job to be on your dream team)
This is the path to Eternal Life. It only takes a tiny amount of change in the things we already discussed to stay on the path:
1. Read one verse daily in the Scriptures.
2. Pray morning and night.
3. Find a mentor, get together, ask questions.
4. Go to the House of the Lord once a month.
If you save $5 per day you would have $1M in 40 years. Likewise, if your read more, pray always, meet with your mentors, and visit the House of the Lord more frequently, you will grow faster, and more. … but it still takes:
1. consistency
2. time.
Start now. Make small changes daily.
What could you change today to help you on the path to Eternal Life?
I have done this, and I know it works. I have gained tremendous knowledge, such that “my cup runneth over.”
The path to Eternal Life, restored by Joseph Smith, is hard to find because it is straight and narrow. We have been given an amazing gift to have it spelled-out plainly. The path is simple, everyone can do it, if we desire. God will give no commandment to us unless He has already prepared the way for us to accomplish his commands. Jesus Christ has “marked the path, and led the way, and every point defines…” That we may all follow Him all the way to Eternal Life, I pray.
I want to explain why you’re a member of this church, and not some other. It’s because there is more information, more knowledge. The bottom-line of what Joseph Smith, the prophet, did is restore lost knowledge. What was lost? Knowledge of the Celestial Glory of Heaven.
Everyone knew about “heaven” and “hell.” Ask any religion throughout the ages what Heaven is and they will describe exactly what we know as the Terrestrial Kingdom, the “honorable people of the Earth.” Ask about hell and they will describe the Telestial Kingdom – the “murderers, liars, whoremongers, and cheaters.” What does it take to get into heaven? Kneel and confess Jesus Christ. It’s all true. All are EXACTLY correct in that knowledge, but something was missing. What was missing? The higher glory, or Celestial Kingdom. It was there all the time in the Bible. The Apostle Paul spoke of the glory of the sun, moon, and stars – 3 glories. He also spoke of the third heaven. But, these were not understood, the knowledge of them was lost completely, until restored by God through Joseph Smith, Jr.
When we don’t understand the big picture, things change. The requirement for entrance into this higher glory is baptism. If you don’t know about the higher glory then baptism becomes unimportant. And, indeed, as expected, Christians have argued for millennia over the need for baptism. All you need is to live a good life and you can go to Heaven, and if you live a bad life, you go to hell. And, since the ordinances were unnecessary, the priesthood authority was also not needed, and was lost.
So, here we are. The Gospel is restored. The authority and ordinances are back. We now know the way back to God, our Father in Heaven. We have a testimony. We’ve been baptized. We’re here. Done. Whew! The Celestial glory is ours – if we can only endure, right?
Yes, that’s true too. However, there’s more. Much more. As William W. Phelps wrote in the hymn, “If You Could Hie to Kolob”
“The works of God continue, And worlds and lives abound;
Improvement and progression Have one eternal round.
There is no end to matter; There is no end to space;
There is no end to spirit; There is no end to race.
There is no end to virtue; There is no end to might;
There is no end to wisdom; There is no end to light.
There is no end to union; There is no end to youth;
There is no end to priesthood; There is no end to truth.
There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;
There is no end to being; There is no death above.”
Hymn 284:3-5
As I was coming out of many years of “wandering in the wilderness” one thing that struck me is that existence is forever! We never cease to exist! It goes on and on! Nobody dies forever, we are only here to choose HOW we will go on. So, I decided to choose Eternal Life.
Above the door inside the chapel in Whittier, CA where I grew up there was a sign printed. Because it was right in front of me during every sacrament meeting until I was nine years old I memorized it, and it has become a guiding scripture for me. It is a verse from The Doctrine and Covenants section 14, verse 7: “And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.”
Getting on the "strait and narrow path"
Nephi explains the way very clearly at the end of his book, in 2 Nephi 31, where he repeats multiple times exactly what it takes to get on the path to Eternal Life:
“…for the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost. And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life;” (Nephi 31:17-18)
Jesus said, “strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” (Matthew 7:14) May I add that He is talking to His disciples? Few of them will find the path to Eternal Life.
There is more. There is no end. Rest is not found in doing nothing, it is paradoxically found in constant growth. We should not rest on our baptism, but start now to move forward on the path to Eternal Life.
Seeking Mentors
One essential part of growth is having an instructor, teacher, or mentor. As we grow up, we have our parents to mentor our growth, however, once we become mature, we have to find our own mentors
One example is given of Philip in the book of Acts:
“…a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority... had come to Jerusalem for to worship…
And Philip ran thither to him, and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest?
And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him…
Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. (Acts 8:27-35)
I currently have 5 mentors that I work with on a regular basis. My mom was very intellectually mature, and my dad was a mechanical genius, so they helped me in those areas, but neither of them were very socially, emotionally, or financially mature so I didn’t get tutored as much in these as I was growing up. Now, I need to learn so I need a guide. So, when my business was floundering, I called Frank Hovey. We went over our stuff, and he recommended a business coaching program. This has been a BIG help to me. Since I have seen the value of coaching, I now have:
• Business coach (Dr. Charles Webb)
• Life coach (Justin Jepsen)
• Emotional coach (Ann Ferguson)
• Heart coach (my wife :)
I also have coaches for learning the Gospel. Alma explained that one purpose of priesthood callings is to teach the commandments of the Lord. “And thus being called by this holy calling, and ordained unto the high priesthood of the holy order of God, to teach his commandments unto the children of men, that they also might enter into his rest.” (Alma 13:6) The prophets, apostles, and others with authority can be our mentors as we study their words, and live them.
Assemble your DREAM TEAM
In the book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill discusses a method he used to improve himself, finding teachers from the past including Ralph Waldo Emerson and Thomas Edison. He later added many others such as Socrates and Plato. He studied their lives, and their writings. He counseled with them every night, asking them individually for wisdom on a subject.
A team of mentors that might help you achieve Eternal Life might include those who you know have achieved it, or have mastered a part of it. I would suggest that you look for those people, past or present, who have what you want, or what you need to achieve your highest potential. It may be a quality of character, or a gift, and study the life of those people, and add them to your “dream team.”
Do not form your personal council until you know what you want. The wrong team will take you off course.
I know who I am; I know what I want; and I know my strengths and weaknesses so I am choosing a "dream team" to help me on my personal path of growth. Some of the members of my council include: Abraham, Jesus Christ, and Joseph Smith.
However, moving forward on the path to Eternal Life always requires only one coach -- the Holy Ghost must be your personal mentor. No matter what other counsel you are given from Earthly or Heavenly beings, you must always run it by the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is your personal guide – everything else is counsel, or opinion.
“Counsel with the Lord in ALL your doings…” All means all and all is all all means.
Ultimately, the greatest mentor we could have is the Holy Ghost. After baptism, we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands by those who have the authority, which gift is a simple commandment to receive Him. The gift is essential before starting on the path to Eternal Life.
How to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost
1. Memorize the 4th article of Faith
2. Then read: 2 Nephi chapter 31
These two will tell you exactly how to receive the Holy Ghost, and get on the path to Eternal Life.
Staying on the path
Read 2 Nephi chapter 32 – this chapter is how to stay on the path, it tells you exactly what you should do, including:
1. Feast upon the words of Christ
2. Pray always
Temple worship
Once you take the Holy Ghost as your guide, feasting daily from the Scriptures, and praying continually, those who desire Eternal Life need Temple Worship. The word “worship” means to seek a close, or intimate relationship. When we go to “The House of the Lord” we can seek a close relationship with Him through our service to others. Moreover, we have the opportunity to sit in the Celestial Room and counsel with our Father in Heaven where He symbolically dwells (the Celestial glory), without any disturbance, because evil spirits are not allowed in there.
In the Temple we find the ordinances required to reach the Celestial Kingdom. From there we step up into the sealing room to receive the highest ordinance -- Eternal Marriage. Without receiving and LIVING this ordinance, we cannot receive the gift of Eternal Life, the greatest of all the gifts of God.
I’m not sealed to anyone. My first wife had her name blotted out, and my second wife is sealed to my best friend. Those of us who aren’t sealed to anyone can still go to the temple and act as proxy for others, knowing that God will not deny ANY blessing that we desire.
Getting Started
If this seems difficult – may I also suggest simple ways to get started?
Improvement doesn’t come suddenly, it takes time. There is a simple principle for change that applies to all of life. How long does it take to physically grow up? We make little changes over a long time. By the same method, we can gain Eternal Life.
Make small changes
If we save $1 a day in an interest-bearing account, at the end of a year we have very little money. However, in a few decades it becomes a tremendous amount. Even with no interest you would have $15,000 in 40 years. With 10% interest, it goes up to $211,000.
The two most important parts of this equation are:
1. Consistency
2. Time (If you need patience, then ask Job to be on your dream team)
This is the path to Eternal Life. It only takes a tiny amount of change in the things we already discussed to stay on the path:
1. Read one verse daily in the Scriptures.
2. Pray morning and night.
3. Find a mentor, get together, ask questions.
4. Go to the House of the Lord once a month.
If you save $5 per day you would have $1M in 40 years. Likewise, if your read more, pray always, meet with your mentors, and visit the House of the Lord more frequently, you will grow faster, and more. … but it still takes:
1. consistency
2. time.
Start now. Make small changes daily.
What could you change today to help you on the path to Eternal Life?
I have done this, and I know it works. I have gained tremendous knowledge, such that “my cup runneth over.”
The path to Eternal Life, restored by Joseph Smith, is hard to find because it is straight and narrow. We have been given an amazing gift to have it spelled-out plainly. The path is simple, everyone can do it, if we desire. God will give no commandment to us unless He has already prepared the way for us to accomplish his commands. Jesus Christ has “marked the path, and led the way, and every point defines…” That we may all follow Him all the way to Eternal Life, I pray.
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
As a Little Child
“Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”I have always thought this command to His disciples applied to a certain age group, but now I see it in a broader perspective. In order to come to Christ, everyone, no matter what age, must be born again and become as a little child. He also clearly states that it is His doctrine that all should become as little children. In fact, one of the requirements for entrance into the Kingdom of God, or kinship with God, is to spiritually become as a little child. When Jesus visited the people of the New World after His resurrection, he repeated himself several times in declaring the requirements for receiving an inheritance in the Kingdom of God.
Matthew 19:14
“And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things.The progression happens in the order that we see in the physical world. We are born, and then we are little children, and we grow up through time and instruction from those around us who have already been though childhood. They teach us to walk, talk, and grow up in every way. They guide us along the path by both word and example. We follow those around us, imitating what we see, assuming that adults know, and we don’t so we do what they do.
And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.”
3 Nephi 11:37-38
Repentance and baptism are things that we can do, but becoming as a little child is “becoming,” or changing, being different than we are. These changes are not easy. Prophets have used the same terminology. King Benjamin actually explained what it means to “become as a little child:”
“...and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”I like to see this in a list form:
Mosiah 3:19
...and becometh as a child,
- Submissive- Instead of fighting against authority, children submit themselves to obey and learn from parents, teachers, and other leaders.
- Meek - Not using power for personal gain.
- Humble - Children recognize that they have no power. Understanding our place, without delusions of grandeur.
- Patient - Waiting, always waiting, without instant gratification, children are always being told to wait for dinner, birthdays, treats, or anything they want.
- Full of love - Innocence of heart allows children to “love like you’ve never been hurt.”
- willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
Alma also uses this terminology in teaching how to repent. He was probably familiar with the words of King Benjamin, and added some of his own:
“But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering; Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.”Submission to all authority is the hallmark of little children. A contrite spirit is a spirit of submission. Patience and long-suffering are part of that. To be lead by the Holy Spirit comes through constant prayer. The analogy is beautiful! I see little children with a will of their own, but being at all times in submission to all of the adults around them. I see little children understanding that they don’t know what things mean, always asking for clarification, definitions, or understanding. I see the curious child continually learning, seeking knowledge, and growing in every way.
Alma 13:28-29
Since I was recently born again, I am a little child, spiritually. Becoming, spiritually, as a little child is as simple as a change in attitude. The way is clear, and because I have a lot of experience with children, I know what to do:
- Pray always - being a child, I will only grow up if I’m around adults. Spiritually being with my Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, and the Holy Prophets means I would pray continually, read Scripture, and look to them in every thought.
- Submit to all authority, not just God, but also governments and all those God has placed over us. I will obey every word of command with exactness.
- Wait patiently with faith that God can and will give me all I need to grow up and be spiritually mature. I have to put in the time, receiving “line upon line, precept on precept, here a little, and there a little.”
I will be as a little child and follow those who have become spiritually mature, imitating what they have done. I will especially take Jesus Christ as the perfect example, the way He lived in submission to His Father, so He will be my Father. I will put my full faith and trust in Him, believing that He will help me grow up and become spiritually mature -- like Him. This is how I can become as a little child to God, or how I can have Him as my Father. ...and this is exactly what I’m going to do.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
How to Marry a Princess
Men and women are different, and as the French say, "Vive le difference!" We are not the same. Men are like the body. They have the role of physical achievement. Men need to work in the world with things all the time. They need to make money, create things, provide for the needs of the body, and deal with all of the physical things of the world.
A woman is like a spirit. She is all things spiritual. She has the connection with God. She has spiritual qualities of faith, hope, charity, and love. She has a heart that is not hard, but is soft and pliable. The woman is the heart. She is a man's connection with God. Without her, he is nothing, and cannot come to God. Men don't realize how utterly important a woman is to his salvation. Without her, he is just a servant, but with her, he can become a king, the two together make a whole being.
A Perfect Soul
Marrying a Princess
Each time we look at a woman -- any woman -- we are looking at a princess. We men are all of the world, the workers, the flesh. We are crude, rude, and unfit for the kingdom of God. We need a connection with all that is spiritual. Every woman is a daughter of the King, and by marrying her a man can become an heir to the throne of God. Without her he can only at best be a servant in the kingdom of God. Without a woman, he will die. She is that important to him. Without her he is only a corpse -- a body without a spirit, not animated, not quickened, not alive in God. He needs her. He needs her for life. His Eternal salvation is dependent on her.
Because of this relationship, she has the option. The woman decides if she wants her man. If she doesn't want him, then he has no option for exaltation. A man may be the leader and make the rules, but his woman has "veto power," she can decide if she wants him to rule over her. If she doesn't want him, she remains a princess, and can receive another, while he may be left desolate. The true role of a man is to convince a woman to stay with him when she has complete agency and can choose anyone. In other words, he needs to become the kind of man to whom she would want to be married forever. If no woman wants him, he remains a pauper, an illegitimate heir, and cannot sit on a throne. He needs to love her enough to earn her trust, and to win her heart so she will desire to remain with him forever.
Christ and the Church
The way this happens is given by the example of Jesus Christ. Paul explains that the husband earns the love and trust of his wife in the way that Christ earns our love and trust. This analogy is used frequently in the Scriptures -- Christ is the husband, and the Church is the bride.
By loving her, he earns her love, and she will desire to be his wife. He, then, is brought into the family of God. He becomes an heir by marrying the princess. She connects him to God, and gives him the chance of kingdoms, thrones, principalities, dominions, and all things in the possession of God. He inherits all of this, as an heir, because of her.
The Royal Family
God can give his daughters to whomever, but will not go against her will. When a man learns that the woman's agency is never violated in the slightest, he will understand that she must choose him with her whole heart. If she doesn't, and desires another, he will be left out of Exaltation. She decides his fate in a very real sense. She has options to go with another. She is the princess. She has the connection to God directly because she is His daughter, and He will give her to whomever she desires. The man, on the other hand, must prove himself worthy of a wife, he must be worthy to marry the princess. He must love her in a way that she will trust him, and develop a bond with him so she will desire to remain with him when she is given the choice.
When all is said and done, and we are before the bar of God, we do not hide anything. What we are is so apparent, every thought is seen and understood in the context of our whole life. All things are revealed. If we have anything that our wife doesn't want to deal with forever, she may refuse. A man needs to become clean, without spot, in order for the princess to desire him. She has no obligation to just take him as he is; she isn't his mother. She can decide that a flaw is unacceptable, and give him up for another.
"Do I love her?"
This understanding changes my perspective about my relationship with my wife. It is I who needs to earn her trust. She is my ticket to receive all I desire in Eternity. Without her I'm nothing. I need to be patient, kind, and loving. I need to sacrifice for her. I need to be such a man that she will want to be with me. It is her choice. She can be with me, or be given to another, whomever she desires. She's the princess. I'm the pauper. I need to work hard to become a prince worthy of the princess. It's my responsibility to love. I never ask the question "Does she love me?" with any form of manipulation, rather "Do I love her?" If she doesn't love me, then I need to work harder to love her. She still has the option, and doesn't have to accept me as I am. I need to change. I need to earn her love and trust.
This is not to discourage men, but rather encourage each man to earn the love and trust of his wife so she will desire to be with him. Men need to change their attitude about marriage, seeking to love instead of being loved. Each man should stop trying to manipulate his wife to love him. He should stop being selfish, seeking his own needs and wants. He needs to, instead, work very hard to find out what her needs are, and sacrifice his own for her, always asking the question, "How can I love her more?" Knowing how much we need a wife in order to be complete and whole gives us perspective on how to treat her, and love her.
A woman is like a spirit. She is all things spiritual. She has the connection with God. She has spiritual qualities of faith, hope, charity, and love. She has a heart that is not hard, but is soft and pliable. The woman is the heart. She is a man's connection with God. Without her, he is nothing, and cannot come to God. Men don't realize how utterly important a woman is to his salvation. Without her, he is just a servant, but with her, he can become a king, the two together make a whole being.
A Perfect Soul
"And the spirit and the body are the soul of man." (D&C 88:15)The man and woman together make a complete soul. There is no competition for control, nor is either going to fill the role of the other. Both must be in agreement, they must become one. This unity is necessary for them to come to God.
"Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 11:11)The completion of a man is his wife. She is the heart and spirit of the couple. The body cannot survive without the spirit, but the spirit continues to live without the body. The body gives power to the spirit, but the spirit gives life to the body. Likewise, the man gives power, but the woman gives life. Because we're in the world, the man is the head of the woman. He has the duty to be the eyes, ears, and mouth of the couple in the world; he faces the world, while she faces God. Together they make a whole person, a soul. He is the flesh, and she is the spirit.
Marrying a Princess
Each time we look at a woman -- any woman -- we are looking at a princess. We men are all of the world, the workers, the flesh. We are crude, rude, and unfit for the kingdom of God. We need a connection with all that is spiritual. Every woman is a daughter of the King, and by marrying her a man can become an heir to the throne of God. Without her he can only at best be a servant in the kingdom of God. Without a woman, he will die. She is that important to him. Without her he is only a corpse -- a body without a spirit, not animated, not quickened, not alive in God. He needs her. He needs her for life. His Eternal salvation is dependent on her.
Because of this relationship, she has the option. The woman decides if she wants her man. If she doesn't want him, then he has no option for exaltation. A man may be the leader and make the rules, but his woman has "veto power," she can decide if she wants him to rule over her. If she doesn't want him, she remains a princess, and can receive another, while he may be left desolate. The true role of a man is to convince a woman to stay with him when she has complete agency and can choose anyone. In other words, he needs to become the kind of man to whom she would want to be married forever. If no woman wants him, he remains a pauper, an illegitimate heir, and cannot sit on a throne. He needs to love her enough to earn her trust, and to win her heart so she will desire to remain with him forever.
Christ and the Church
The way this happens is given by the example of Jesus Christ. Paul explains that the husband earns the love and trust of his wife in the way that Christ earns our love and trust. This analogy is used frequently in the Scriptures -- Christ is the husband, and the Church is the bride.
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.A man needs to sacrifice himself for his wife in the way that Christ sacrificed Himself for the Church. The Atonement of Jesus Christ was for the Church, or those who are obedient to Him. He gave everything for us, sacrificing His flesh and blood. A man earns his wife's love in the same manner. She will love him after he loves her, and gives himself for her.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
Ephesians 5:25-31
"We love him, because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19)A man must sacrifice his own desires for his wife. His sacrifice earns her trust, the way God earns our trust through His Great and Last Sacrifice. Thus, the man is required to be the leader as Christ is our leader; he is to set the example to follow. He needs to be trustworthy, and earn his wife's trust. He needs to sacrifice himself out of love, for her benefit, giving her what she needs to live. She needs to feel that she can trust him, and feel safe in his presence. He earns her trust in the same way God earns our trust, by being loving, kind, patient, and giving. He needs, most of all, to be unselfish.
By loving her, he earns her love, and she will desire to be his wife. He, then, is brought into the family of God. He becomes an heir by marrying the princess. She connects him to God, and gives him the chance of kingdoms, thrones, principalities, dominions, and all things in the possession of God. He inherits all of this, as an heir, because of her.
The Royal Family
God can give his daughters to whomever, but will not go against her will. When a man learns that the woman's agency is never violated in the slightest, he will understand that she must choose him with her whole heart. If she doesn't, and desires another, he will be left out of Exaltation. She decides his fate in a very real sense. She has options to go with another. She is the princess. She has the connection to God directly because she is His daughter, and He will give her to whomever she desires. The man, on the other hand, must prove himself worthy of a wife, he must be worthy to marry the princess. He must love her in a way that she will trust him, and develop a bond with him so she will desire to remain with him when she is given the choice.
When all is said and done, and we are before the bar of God, we do not hide anything. What we are is so apparent, every thought is seen and understood in the context of our whole life. All things are revealed. If we have anything that our wife doesn't want to deal with forever, she may refuse. A man needs to become clean, without spot, in order for the princess to desire him. She has no obligation to just take him as he is; she isn't his mother. She can decide that a flaw is unacceptable, and give him up for another.
"Do I love her?"
This understanding changes my perspective about my relationship with my wife. It is I who needs to earn her trust. She is my ticket to receive all I desire in Eternity. Without her I'm nothing. I need to be patient, kind, and loving. I need to sacrifice for her. I need to be such a man that she will want to be with me. It is her choice. She can be with me, or be given to another, whomever she desires. She's the princess. I'm the pauper. I need to work hard to become a prince worthy of the princess. It's my responsibility to love. I never ask the question "Does she love me?" with any form of manipulation, rather "Do I love her?" If she doesn't love me, then I need to work harder to love her. She still has the option, and doesn't have to accept me as I am. I need to change. I need to earn her love and trust.
This is not to discourage men, but rather encourage each man to earn the love and trust of his wife so she will desire to be with him. Men need to change their attitude about marriage, seeking to love instead of being loved. Each man should stop trying to manipulate his wife to love him. He should stop being selfish, seeking his own needs and wants. He needs to, instead, work very hard to find out what her needs are, and sacrifice his own for her, always asking the question, "How can I love her more?" Knowing how much we need a wife in order to be complete and whole gives us perspective on how to treat her, and love her.
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