RESTORATION

While in a junkyard looking for a part for your car, you find the bones of a 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO. You can’t believe it! This is the most expensive car in the world. Only 36 cars were ever produced! The car that won the 1963 Tour de France race set a record auction price at $70 million. Others have sold in the $30 and $40 million range. You check to make sure it’s true. And, sure enough, you have stumbled onto the real thing. You can buy the entire chassis and much of the original car for pocket change, so you buy it. You ask the junkyard about the various parts that have been sold, and who bought them. Over a period of more than a decade the car has been gradually disassembled and the parts taken for various uses on other cars. The front fenders were taken for a teenager’s high school project. The engine was restored and put in a Porsche. Other parts are scattered all over the area. You need to restore everything to its original state for it to have any value, so you want every part for your restoration project. 

So, you go to each person who owns a part and make an offer to buy back them back, but many parts are long gone. Moreover, when some find they have a part of an original 250 GTO they want too much money, or they don’t want to give it up. The guy with the engine is especially reticent to sell. He wants his car to have a 250 GTO engine. You increase your offer, but he just won’t sell -- it can’t be bought. Other parts are available, and you buy all you can, but you still cannot get some critical parts. Moreover, many parts are lost, damaged, rusted out, or destroyed. The fenders are cut up. The headlights are gone. The seats are mostly aged and cracked. Since there are so few of these cars, and none are used for parts, there is no way to restore it with original parts. You begin to assemble what you have and have the missing parts custom-made or taken from other cars. All the time and materials already invested is quite expensive, but should be worth it when the car is sold, even though it has no engine. You run out of money, and all you borrowed from everyone you know. 

At auction, the car is a beautiful restoration, but when the clientele finds out that it is not original, nobody wants it. It doesn’t have an engine! So, it doesn’t sell for even the amount you invested. Though it has many original parts, it’s not real. It’s not original. It isn’t a true restoration. It’s a fake, a copy. You lost money, and now must pay back all you borrowed!

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When Jesus formed a church, “he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13) However, when those apostles and prophets died, the church fell into disrepair. Parts were taken and put into pagan churches. 

Over the years, people noticed that the church built by Christ was valuable, but with many original parts missing. They saw the bones of the church and decided to try a restoration project. But they didn’t have all the parts. They filled-in the blanks with things of the world, things that they could understand, and that made logical sense to them, but never had the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thus, hundreds of Christian churches were born out of the parts of the original church. They have original parts, but fill-in the missing pieces with their own custom-made parts. The biggest problem is that they could never get the authority to give the gift of the Holy Ghost. It would be like having a 250 GTO without an engine. When the Prophet Joseph Smith visited President Martin Van Buren, the President asked the Prophet what difference there was between the Prophet’s church and the other churches of the world. The Prophet answered: “We have the correct mode of baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands.” Then he added: “We considered that all other considerations were contained in the gift of the Holy Ghost.”

In the case of the church of Jesus Christ, there is only one way to restore it to its original form. The Lord Himself must come and restore it with authority -- apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers – and the gift of the Holy Ghost, according to the original plan. Nobody can just assume he has the authority of God. “And no man taketh this honour unto himself, but he that is called of God, as was Aaron.” (Hebrews 5:4) There is no way to buy this authority, as Simon found out when he asked Peter to sell him the ability to give the Holy Ghost. “But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.” (Acts 8:19-20)  

Thus, people have pieces of the church of Christ, but they don’t mean anything. Without the whole thing restored in its proper order as an original with heaven-made parts, it isn’t worth anything. Without the gift of the Holy Ghost there is no power in the church. It can look good, even looking like the original, but it won’t get anyone to heaven without the gift of the Holy Ghost. There can be no parts from the world. It must be original in every aspect to be His church, to be able to bring all to “the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.” Missing parts just will not do. Having part of the gospel doesn’t bring anyone to the “fulness of Christ.” Without every original part, and all of it together, a church is worthless, and all who invest in it will lose. However, if hands are laid upon my head and I do receive the Holy Ghost, then I know that this is the real thing, the original, the one and only church of Jesus Christ. This is the “Pearl of Great Price” that is worth selling everything of the world to possess! It is priceless, requiring me to sacrifice my all, even my heart, but I get the most valuable thing in the Universe! 

For he that receiveth my servants receiveth me; And he that receiveth me receiveth my Father; And he that receiveth my Father receiveth my Father’s kingdom; therefore all that my Father hath shall be given unto him.  (Doctrine and Covenants 84:36-38)

The Law of Obedience and Sacrifice

It’s the law. 

It is not a suggestion, or even a commandment, it is a law. This means it is not just expedient for now, but a law that is forever. Laws are above God. It is a law of the Universe. It is a permanent law of God to be obedient to the Lord, and to sacrifice all that I have. The Law of Moses was training wheels for the real law of obedience and sacrifice. The Law of Moses was fulfilled by Jesus Christ, and He instituted the higher law.

I sacrifice what I want. 

I sacrifice what I need. 

I sacrifice what I like.

The law is not just to give up things, I must sacrifice what I have in obedience to the Lord. That is the law. I cannot separate the two parts. 

• Obedience is a part. 
• Sacrifice is a part. 

The two covenants together constitute a law. They are not two different laws, they are one law. They come together because obedience is sacrifice and sacrifice must happen in obedience. 

Obedience is sacrificing the most important thing I have been given -- my will. I cannot be obedient without making a sacrifice. Jesus obeyed this law: 

For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.

John 6:38

He gave up His will to do the will of the Father. In the Garden of Gethsemane He actually made the sacrifice of His will. He did not want to suffer eternal torment, but was “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19) He sacrificed Himself in obedience to His Father. 

And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

        Matthew 26:39

The reverse is also true. Sacrifice cannot be separated from obedience. It is not a sacrifice to flog myself, or even to give up my own life by suicide. It is not to live in poverty, or give up food or sex, but rather to sacrifice what God wants me to burn on the altar. It must be a sacrifice in obedience to Him. The Lord speaks to the leaders of the fledgling Church of Jesus Christ and explains this concept. 

Verily I say unto you, all among them who know their hearts are honest, and are broken, and their spirits contrite, and are willing to observe their covenants by sacrifice—yea, every sacrifice which I, the Lord, shall command—they are accepted of me.

Doctrine and Covenants 97:8

The Lord will command what sacrifice must be made. I don’t decide what I am willing to give up. I only do it in obedience to the Lord. King Benjamin explained this to his people: 

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Mosiah 3:19

It is not my decision to make a sacrifice, but rather the Lord will see fit to inflict a sacrifice on me. The point of the sacrifice is that it is in obedience to the Lord. Saul was commanded to utterly destroy the Amalekites because they would not listen to the Lord, and continued to worship gods of the world. Saul did not exactly obey because he and his people kept some things as spoil. Samuel came and rebuked Saul for his disobedience and Saul said they kept the animals to sacrifice to the Lord. 

And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

1 Samuel 15:22

You cannot have a law of sacrifice separated from obedience. They must go together. Saul could not determine the sacrifice, only the Lord can command it. 

Obeying the Law of Obedience and Sacrifice

I have found that I don’t have a prophet coming to me to tell me what to sacrifice. In my life I have two ways of knowing what I should sacrifice:

1. The Holy Spirit whispers to my soul to make a sacrifice. 
2. Life takes me down a path of sacrifice. 

Sometimes the Holy Ghost will tell me what to do, and I must obey and make the sacrifice. I was told to give up my girlfriend before we even met, but I did not. Then, after twenty years of marriage I was told again, and I did. Also, the Spirit sometimes whispers that I need to fast, and most of the time I do. Following the voice of the Spirit is being obedient to the commandments. Each time it is a sacrifice commanded by Him. All the commandments of God, as given to me by the Holy Ghost, are sacrifices. 

Most of the time, however, life requires sacrifices just because I lose things. Having a family requires sacrifice. Marriage is a sacrifice. Work is sacrifice. People die. People change. All that I do in the world requires sacrifice of time, effort, or will. The sacrifice doesn’t need to be grievous, just doing something for someone else is giving up my time, even if I enjoy it. The Lord dictates what the sacrifice is to be by guiding my path. He puts people in front of me who need help. He closes doors to me, and opens others that may be scary, but I go through because it is the only reasonable option. Just the process of living will guide me to the sacrifices I make in obedience to Him, with understanding that whatever happens is His will. 

In doing, or allowing, the will of God, I give up what I want. I am not going after my dreams of the world, but rather sacrificing them. I am not working to meet my needs, but to sacrifice them on the altar of the Lord. The only acceptable sacrifice is that of a broken heart. 

A Broken Heart and a Contrite Spirit

And ye shall offer up unto me no more the shedding of blood; yea, your sacrifices and your burnt offerings shall be done away, for I will accept none of your sacrifices and your burnt offerings. And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

3 Nephi 9:19-20

The heart is the deepest desire, it is the one thing that everyone needs -- connection with God. Being born in a wicked world, we automatically believe that we could find something of the world will fill that need. There is an emptiness inside that must be filled, and the heart is what we believe deep down that will fill that need. Not everyone believes the same or needs the same things. Some feel that marriage and family will fill the need. Others think sex, drugs, food, tobacco, alcohol, friends, wealth, fame, lands and houses, knowledge of the world, power, authority, or a business will either fill that need, or at least give a moment of relief. Our differences come from our beliefs. We are actually all the same. There is a God-sized hole in every heart that can only be filled by God, but people still believe they can fill it with something in the world. 

The things of the world are not evil, bad, or wicked. They are just things, toys, or means that allow us to function. We need food. We need other people. We need sex. We need business and money. These only become wicked when they are objects of worship. When I believe something will fill my heart and satisfy my true need then I worship that object. People become objects when I believe they could fill my need. I worship them as objects, I don’t see them as people. Thus, the evil of the things of the world is not their existence, but in my belief. Those who do not need alcohol may drink and not be wicked. Those who do not feel sex will bring satisfaction may indulge with their spouse ad libidum. Those who do not need money to fill them may have great amounts and not be wicked. The need is the problem. Wickedness is not from having the things of the world, but rather from worshipping them. 

When I sacrifice my deepest desire, the belief that something of the world is going to fill the emptiness inside me, I will necessarily have a broken heart. The one thing that I worship of the world, that I believe will fill my heart, is the one thing I must sacrifice. The oblation must be a willing sacrifice. I don’t have to enjoy it, but I must willingly give up what I desire. I can give it up in my heart no matter how the sacrifice is given. There are two ways to have a broken heart: 

1. I get what I want, but it doesn’t fill my need as I expected.
2. I never get what I want. 

Either way, my heart is broken. My mom told me, “Life is perfectly fair, sooner or later it breaks everyone’s heart.” 

The people of the world tell me that nobody should have a broken heart. One of my patients came in with a program for spiritual enlightenment where people remember their epiphanies and theophanies to keep them in mind, instead of their problems. I said that was great, but to see the hand of God is one thing, but to be obedient is quite another. Spiritual growth requires sacrifice and obedience, not just acknowledging the existence of God. He did not believe a sacrifice was needed to be spiritually elevated. We are sad for those who have a broken heart. We mourn with them. We hope for peace and love, good roads and good weather, happiness and joy, without any speed bumps or red lights. 

The Lord, however is different. Everyone must have a broken heart or they will not be able to be with God. They can't. They won't. They won't find Him because they don't seek Him. They are looking for something else. Only when the heart is seeking God will anyone be able to find Him. 

Becoming Bitter

Some achieve their desires only to find it doesn’t work. Their heart is broken. They then either become bitter, angry, and depressed, or they soften and seek the Lord. Those who let go easily have a contrite spirit. The sacrifice of a broken heart must come with the contrite spirit to avoid anger. Anger is of the devil. Lucifer was not chosen to be the savior of the world; he wanted to rule over all, but his plan was rejected, so he got angry. That’s why he had to leave Heaven. 

And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first. And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.

Abraham 3:27-28

Others become bitter and angry when they don’t get what they want in life. They never have enough money because they are always poor. They get married but are not able to have children. They are disabled or otherwise afflicted. They don’t have friends or family to fill them. Never getting what I wanted has been a hard sacrifice to make, willingly. The point of a sacrifice is not to give up something I have, but rather to give up the belief that it could fill my need for connection. The heart can be broken when I realize that I cannot get what I want in life. 

When my heart is broken I must have a contrite spirit and submit willingly to the sacrifice commanded by God. If not, if I become angry, get depressed, suicidal, or walk around heartbroken, then I will not receive the Lord and worship Him to fill the void in my heart. My heart is still on the things of the world. My beliefs, desires, needs, still revolve around that thing I lost, didn’t get, or found unfulfilling. 

The Fantasy does not die easily

The discovery that my fantasy is unfulfilling does not automatically lead to a contrite spirit and seeking the Lord. For example, when a person wants power or authority, and they get it and find it doesn’t fill the need, they often want more. A little power doesn’t work, maybe more will. Also, men and women get married hoping for a connection that the other can fill, but when they find it doesn’t work they may go outside seeking others to fill their needs; it feels like the right person could do fill them. Those who find food does not fill them up often eat more and hate themselves as they get fatter. Many feel that money will fill the need, but find it will never be enough, even as they continue to seek more. They do not have a contrite spirit. They do not submit, but continue to believe a lie that they could be filled by something of the world. 

As a child I only wanted to connect with my mom, but she was not able due to an autistic personality. So, in my young mind I reasoned that I would be able to finally fill that need in the future when I was married. I just wanted a woman. As an adolescent that easily translated into sexual needs so I thought unlimited sex would fill the need. I waited to find the right girl, and then waited to get married, as I had been taught. But it didn’t work out as I expected. She was not on board, even though she indicated she was before we were married. I was angry. I got depressed. I had been taught traditional morals so I would not go outside the marriage to seek my needs. I was stuck. I hoped she would “come around,” but that never happened. Instead, she filed for divorce after twenty years of marriage. I had no problem letting her go. I was hoping to finally find the right woman to fill my needs. Then I re-married and found the same issues. Other men did not have this problem. Again, I became angry and depressed. I was getting bitter. I tried not to, but my heart was broken. All my dreams were dashed. I didn’t have a connection with anyone, and no hope of finding one. I prayed faithfully, but it took a long time. Gradually, the Lord guided me through the thorny path back onto the path of eternal life. Instead of seeking a wife to fill the need, I seek the Lord. Instead of worshipping my wife, I worship the Lord. 

In spite of this, the dream does not die easily. While I am able to “put off the natural man” I find the dream is still there. I still look at women with hope to fill my need. I still judge them by their looks. I still find I am attracted to certain women based on that hope -- that she could fill my needs. It’s like an addiction that will not go away. I can put it off as long as I want, but I’m always going to want it. The same is true with all my likes. I haven’t had ice cream in years, but I still want it. I suppose this is the “thorn in my side” that I will live with as long as I am mortal. Meanwhile, I will continuously sacrifice that desire until the end of my life, having a broken heart. I have a weakness which will help me. I will glory in my weakness, like Paul. 

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Obey the Law

If I obey the law, I receive the blessing. 

There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21

If I don’t obey the law then I am cursed, I must suffer the consequences. If I don’t make the sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit then I must suffer with the desires of the world for eternity where I can never even fulfill them. Not even a second of relief. There is nothing around to even temporarily fill the need. The need, want, desire, and emptiness are there with the belief that something of the world can fill it, but the world is gone, and all things in it are gone so there is nothing. It is hopeless -- forever! The world is going to go away, and when it’s gone, all those things I use to fill my needs are gone as well. Gone forever. I am left with eternal hopelessness and despair. Nothing. 

...their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched, which is their torment—

Doctrine and Covenants 76:44

Jesus tells a parable of a man who was rich and had everything, while Lazarus, at his gate, suffered hunger and poor health. They both died and the man found himself in hell.

And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.

Luke 16:23-24

It is interesting to note the cause of his suffering. Abraham explains why he was suffering in hell, and Lazarus was in heaven, and that it was perfectly fair and just: 

But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.

Luke 16:25

In the world, the rich man had all his needs filled. He did not need God to fill his needs so he didn’t seek Him. I wonder if the rich man was tormented because he could no longer have what he had before to comfort him. All he depended on was gone, and now he had nothing, whereas Lazarus had nothing and could only depend on God while in the world, so he continued to have that comfort in the next life. 

The Ultimate Sacrifice

The sacrifice is not the broken heart, but a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Both are required to enter the kingdom of God. He will determine what sacrifice is to be made. Not everyone has the same sacrifice because everyone has a different belief of what will save them. For example, Jesus said to the rich, young ruler who wanted to know what it would take to be saved: 

Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.

        Matthew 19:21

 Does that mean everyone who is rich must sell all? I don’t think so. I suspect only those who depend on their wealth to save them will need to make such a sacrifice. Jesus "loved him" and discerned his need. This particular young man needed just one sacrifice to be perfect. He knew the man's heart, and how he trusted in his wealth, even though he kept the commandments. 

Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God!

Mark 10:24

Those who think they are good, or saved, having everything they need in the world because of their affluence, will need to repent. Nephi spells this out explicitly: 

But wo unto the rich, who are rich as to the things of the world. For because they are rich they despise the poor, and they persecute the meek, and their hearts are upon their treasures; wherefore, their treasure is their god. And behold, their treasure shall perish with them also.

2 Nephi 9:30

Either through the Holy Ghost or through the vicissitudes of life, the rich man who trusts in riches will need to give up, not necessarily the wealth, but the trust. Either he will be told to “sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor” or his fortune will be lost through misfortune. Either way he will need to let go of the world and turn to the Lord. On the other hand, there is another option, the rich man may not need to lose his money at all, but just seek to obtain a hope in Christ. 

But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.

Jacob 2:18-19

I use riches here as a metaphor for all the things of the world. No matter what I have of the world that I think will save me from my loneliness, or that will fill my needs must be sacrificed. Not necessarily the idol, but the trust in it to save. It is only after having a broken heart and a contrite spirit that I can learn to trust in the Lord, as the Proverb says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;” (Proverbs 3:5) This is the only sacrifice that will satisfy the demands of the law of obedience and sacrifice. It's the law!

Letter to a Friend (ONLY for married men in their 40's)

Brad,

Mary is not on your team. 

She is trying to find a way out. 

She is looking for relief.

Intimacy is stressful. 

She cannot bear to be close. 

She has already rejected you in her heart. 

She cannot love. 

She cannot give.

She cannot be a wife. 

She doesn’t want to be your wife. 

She has not seen you for eight weeks, and her absence did not make the heart grow fonder. 

You got her to have sex with you and you thought that was a win, that she appreciated your efforts, but you are wrong. 

I had a patient who would ask for a divorce from her husband every month. 

“I hate you!” 

“I can’t stand you.” 

“I don’t want you around.” 

“Just the thought of you touching me makes my skin crawl!”

“You are the worst person on the planet!” 

“I don’t know how we got together -- it was a huge mistake!”

“I want a divorce!”

The young man was perplexed, angry, and afraid. But he would try to be understanding.

“Sweety, remember last month when you felt this way and said all those same things?”

“Remember that after a couple weeks you wanted me and we would kiss and make up?”

“Remember that the doctor said it was just the change in hormones on your cycle?” 

She, however, would have none of it, and would continue to spit out vitriol at him. 

“IT’S NOT HORMONES!”

“This is real!”

“It’s really how I feel!” 

“You are just trying to blame something else!”

“You have no regard for my feelings!” 

“See!? you’re just a narcissist!” 

This would continue for a couple weeks, and then she would do a complete about-face and want him, love him, and desire him for a couple weeks, after which the same scene would play out again -- every month! 

I have personally been through this. 

I’m going through it again with my second wife. 

I have seen it in countless friends. 

This is a very common scenario. 

A woman gets into her forties and the hormones change.

She no longer wants to have children. 

She no longer wants intimacy.

She no longer needs a husband.

She doesn’t seek companionship.

She doesn’t want safety and security. 

All her feelings change. 

She is no longer the young woman who got married. 

She doesn’t feel close to her husband. 

She feels like she is being used.

She feels like a prostitute. 

She wants out. 

She doesn’t even want to be with her husband.

She feels loathing. 

She looks for reasons why she feels that way. 

He is the reason!

She finds him wanting in many areas. 

He is not loyal. 

He is a narcissist.

He has broken my trust. 

She can only see the bad in him, there is no good. 

She wonders why she even agreed to marry him. 

She files for divorce. 

He is flabbergasted! Nonplused! Surprised! Dumbfounded! We were doing so well! We have so much! We have built up a life together!

She sees none of it. 

They get divorced. 

Your wife does not desire to be with you. 

Her hormones have changed, and she doesn’t even feel like she WANTS to be close to you. 

She has found a way out. 

She blames the church.

She blames society. 

She blames the stupid mistake of marrying young and not thinking about what she was doing. 

She blames you.

She has no regard for you at all. 

When I defended you, she shot back with a very long list of egregious errors that you committed in her eyes.

She can only see you as a narcissistic butthead. 

She did not appreciate any efforts you have made to placate her. 

She’s done. 

It’s over. 

She’s gone -- in her heart. 

Her hormones have changed. 

The winds have shifted. 

She is not looking for a relationship with you. 

She doesn’t want you, and she never did. 

You are the problem.

She is looking for a way out.

When the therapist called you a narcissist, she had everything she needed. 

Personality disorders don’t go away. 

There is no way for you to get out of this. 

She feels like God agrees with her -- it’s too hard to be married to you. 

When I told her that the only important thing in life is keeping covenants, she balked. 

God has given her permission to leave. 

You are trying to reconcile with her. 

You are trying to make her happy. 

You are trying to make her like you again.

You are trying to be different.

You are trying to be what she wants.  

You want things to be the way they were for twenty years. 

You want to go back. 

You want to have a happy marriage. 

You want her to fill your needs for love, intimacy, comfort. 

You want her to like you. 

You want her to love you.

You are willing to fill her needs for safety and security. 

You will do anything for her. 

You will go to the ends of the earth for her. 

You would give her anything she wants.

You want her, just her, nobody else but her. 

You are doing everything wrong. 

You can no longer give her what she wants. 

You are not what she wants, no matter what you change. 

When you were first married, she saw you as a box of chocolates, witty, funny, and desirable. 

Now she sees you as a bag of poop, there is nothing in the bag she cares about. 

You cannot make her happy. 

You cannot change to suit her, no matter how you dress it up, it's still poop. 

You cannot be better.

You are going in the wrong direction. 

You cannot go back -- ever! 

Therapists try to get you to go back, which is a big mistake -- even when it seems to work out. 

Going back puts you in the same situation -- filling needs -- which feels to her like prostitution to her. 

She has a low opinion of herself with you. You cannot fix that. 

There is nothing you can do. 

Everything you try to do is a good effort, but she still feels bad. 

Your changes cannot change how she feels. 

Even when you change into the perfect prince, she still feels bad. 

Changing you does not change her. 

You can give her everything she wants, but she still doesn't want you.

She ALWAYS has a history to fall back on, and can find all the bad you ever did as an explanation for her feelings. 

What you are now is irrelevant. 

You cannot do anything. 

You cannot build an “account” of goodness. 

All your “good” is bad in her eyes because you are a narcissist and you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

You can’t get any “points.” 

You cannot give what you don’t have. 

Even if she acknowledges your efforts it has no value to her. 

The more you try to get in her good graces, the more she will find wrong with you. 

When two magnets are stuck together and one is turned around, the closer they get, the more they repel. She has turned around, the closer you try to get, the more you will be pushed away. 

Trying to get close is the problem.

Your only option is to stop. 

Stop trying to reconcile.

Stop doing what she wants.

Stop changing your behavior. 

All the superficial changes are useless. 

Stop trying to be different. 

Stop looking to her for direction on what to do. 

Stop trying to be the man she wants, needs, and desires.

Stop trying to be her savior. 

Stop trying to be her prince. 

Stop taking clues from her. 

Stop trying to be close to her. 

Stop seeking intimacy with her. 

Stop trying to go back to “the way we were.” 

This is not the movies; life is not like a “Hallmark Movie.” 

This is real. 

It is hard.

"bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love;"

        Alma 38:12

All you can do is love her. 

You love by letting go. 

You love by being independent.

You love by allowing her to be independent.

You love by pulling back. 

You love by changing your heart. 

Your heart is your needs and desires. 

You no longer need her. 

You no longer desire her. 

You let her go in your heart. 

You appreciate who she is for her. 

She is not as an extension of you

She does not live to fill your needs. 

You step away from her.

You don’t fill her needs. 

You don’t give her anything unless she asks. 

You use common courtesy, be polite. 

You don’t try to get close to her. 

You have no ulterior motive. 

You give up the quid pro quo.

You don’t want to be intimate with her. 

She is just a friend, a roommate; two independent people living together.

You treat her like a friend -- kind and courteous, but not seeking anything. 

Do nice things just to be nice, not because you want her to love you. 

But, there is a problem.

You can’t. 

You cannot change your own heart.

You cannot change your needs. 

You cannot change what you desire. 

You have no power over your heart.

You can deny them, but you can’t change them. 

You can give up eating ice cream for years, but still desire it. 

Men who have never had sex continue to have the desire. 

Your basic needs are ingrained so inextricably into your heart and every fiber of your being, that you have no way to get them out. 

Needs will not be starved out. 

Desires will not be removed by cold therapy, fear therapy, or any therapy. 

You can’t burn wants out. 

Even death will not take away the needs. 

Your heart is basic to your being. 

As long as you exist, you will be you, and you will continue to have the same needs, wants, and desires. 

As long as you have needs, you will be selfish. 

What you really need is a mighty change of heart. 

The Lord has the power to change your heart.

What you cannot do alone, He can do -- alone. He alone can change your heart. 

“the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.”

Mosiah 5:2

Evil is worshipping other gods.

Evil is being dependent. 

Evil is needing other people. 

Evil is needing your wife. 

Evil is using your wife to fill your needs. 

Evil is having the need. 

Good is being independent. 

Good is doing the will of God. 

Good is having a choice, not a need. 

The need is the problem. 

Your needs are the problem.

The Spirit of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent, is the answer, the ONLY answer. 

Omnipotent means “all powerful.” He has all power to change your heart, something you have no power to do. 

The only possibility of change comes from the Lord. 

You will always be selfish, until you have charity. 

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

        1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Charity is unselfish. 

Charity is not something you aspire to because that is selfish.

Charity is not a skill. 

Charity is not falling in love. 

Charity is the love Christ had for us. 

Charity is a gift, given to those who follow Christ. 

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ;”

Moroni 7:48

All you can do is pray, and follow Christ. 

What did Christ do? 

Christ gave Himself, sacrificed everything, and suffered death and hell for you. 

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

Ephesians 5:25

Make the sacrifice that He made -- willingly. 

Love your wife.

For a long time, until you get a mighty change of heart, you just have to suppress your needs. 

Give up your wants.

Acknowledge, but don’t give in to your desires. 

Sacrifice your heart.

Let go of your needs. 

Give her up, or the fantasy of her.

Let your heart break.

A broken heart is essential for salvation. 

There are two things that happen when a person has a broken heart: either they get angry, bitter, and hard, or they become soft, humble, and submissive. 

“and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

Mosiah 3:19

Putting off the natural man is breaking your heart. The next step is to have a contrite spirit and become as a child: submissive, meek, humble, patient -- and full of love. 

You cannot love until you put off the natural man in submission to God. 

Cease to seek salvation in the world.

The gods of this world will not help you.

Your wife will not save you from loneliness. 

Sex will not bring satisfaction; you don't need it.

Food will not fill you up. 

Money will not give you rest. 

Give up all that you want. 

Let go of the fantasy of marriage. 

Submit to the will of God. 

The will of God is whatever comes upon you outside of your control or choice. 

You don’t choose how your wife feels. 

You can’t decide what she should do with her covenants. 

You can’t make her stay, no matter how good you are.

You can’t make her go, no matter how bad you are. 

All you can do is act for yourself. 

You must take reality as the will of God. 

What is happening is real. 

Everything has changed. 

It will not go back. 

You must deal with what is, not what you want things to be. 

Give up what you want and accept what is.

Seek a mighty change of heart. 

Seek charity. 

Make the sacrifice. 

Give up your desires. 

Become a man.

Be independent. 

Grow up! 

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

1 Corinthians 13:11

She has already decided what she wants, and that’s not you.

She will decide if she keeps her covenants. 

Your best way to keep her around is to be a man and let go of her.

“If you love someone, set them free.” 

“...the Lord do so to me, and more also,” (Ruth 1:17)

If you love her, set her free. 

You may be able to be her friend. 

The Plan

 When a loved-one passes on to the next life, it often causes me to think about the important questions of life: 

• Where did I come from?
• Why am I here? 
• Where am I going after this life? 

Where did I come from? 

Before being born on the earth we all lived in Heaven with God, our Father. We are all children of God, and He loves every one of us -- every person who has ever lived, or who will live on the earth. He does not love one more than another. 

Why am I here? 

When there is a policeman behind me I may drive differently than when there is not one in sight. 

In like manner, I need to be outside of the immediate presence of our Father, so I can make choices and become myself. 

Every minute of every day I am making choices in the world. 

My choices of what to think, and do, and say, show me who I am.

Where am I going? 

All my choices lead me to a place. I am my own judge because I put myself where I belong -- I have been doing it all my life. 

Judgment is in resurrection. Because Jesus Christ was resurrected, everyone ever born will receive a perfect body. At this point I will stand before God with everything I have ever done or thought, or said. I am what I have become through millions of choices.

One of the most amazing parts of God’s plan is that He has provided a place for each of His children

The only people who continue to suffer are those who will stand in front of Him and refuse His offer. They want no part of heaven, and must go outside -- that’s their choice. The heavens weep over each of them. 

On the other hand, every kingdom of heaven requires submission to Jesus Christ. 

The lowest kingdom is for those who did not keep the commandments of God. They live selfishly. They do not repent so they must pay for their sins until the final resurrection, but then they bow the knee to Jesus, and end up in a kingdom where they have a measure of glory from the Holy Spirit. 

The middle kingdom is for those who lived honorable lives. These are the “good” people of the world who help others and are moral and ethical, but don't make a covenant with Jesus. They continue to seek the things of the world. After they die, they accept Jesus Christ, and have a much greater measure of glory. 

The highest kingdom of heaven is for those who seek out the Lord, Jesus Christ and make covenants with Him. My daily decisions are going to be different -- I will be keeping the commandments of God. I will go through the process of repentance every day. I will seek Him in the scriptures, in prayer, and in my daily activities. These choices naturally lead me into eternal life. 

God wants all His children to choose Him, and return to Him in the highest kingdom. Jesus is so happy when just one of child turns to Him and follows Him for many reasons: He doesn’t want anyone to suffer, His own suffering and death was not in vain, and each person who does finds happiness. He wants everyone to be happy. Everybody in the world is invited to come unto Christ and be perfected in Him. His grace is sufficient for every person, no matter who you are, or what you have done in the past. He paid the price for you. He loves you and has paid the price of everyone’s happiness. 

God loves each of His children enough to give them a real choice. So, you can choose something else, but why?

A Real Boy!

Man is “what,” and woman is “why.” Man creates things and a woman gives them life. Geppetto created a puppet, but a Woman gave it life. She came twice to bring life, first to give it opportunity to learn by experience. Geppetto sends it out to suffer in the world alone, but the Woman gives light, the light of Christ, a conscience to guide it through the world. She comes again at the end to give it life -- or resurrection. She judges the puppet to be worthy of life because it has repented and sacrificed itself for the Father, Geppetto. It learned to love. It then becomes a real boy through Her magic touch. 

Women are uniquely qualified to give life to the lifeless. All that man creates is lifeless, things that serve a purpose, things people want, but it takes a woman to give it life, to make it work, to bring love, to give it purpose. Men create children. Women give life to them. Independence is masculine, inter-dependence is feminine. Women nurture life by bringing children from dependence to independence -- and then back to inter-dependence, or love. She is there at the beginning, and in the end. The child grows up and becomes a real man through her nurture and admonition. She is the One who brings it to maturity, to guide the dependent to become independent. Then, She is there to take His things and give them life. 

Man is the letter, but Woman gives it spirit. “for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.” (2 Corinthians 3:6) The spirit gives life to things. Things come easily, but life is not cheap. Men get little scratches and cuts as they fashion their puppets and other gods of wood and stone. Women bring life through their own blood, sweat, and tears. 

Women can be corrupted in a male world by immature men who want her life, her touch. Men know that she can give life, and they feel like they can suck the life out of her. These men assume their desire for touch is all a woman has to offer. They are puppets playing on Pleasure Island. They use a woman and call it love. There is no life in the relationship. She is as a man, dealing with things, doing things, she doesn’t give life. She has so much more to offer than sex and making food. If he only uses her body and mind, he will lose the very gift she has to give him, what he really wants -- life -- to become a real boy! 

The world loves marionettes bound by strings and hates life, so all that is Feminine is rejected. The giving of life is demeaning. We can prevent that. Nurturing life is disparaged. Women are not taught to be women, they are supposed to be men. They are to enjoy pleasure without giving life. The flesh is the thing. The letter is the thing. The puppet is the thing. They are to compete in men's games, live the actor’s life on Pleasure Island and become jackasses like the men. They can use their body to get the things of the world. There is no love, no life, no nurturing, no conscience, no light, no growth -- nothing is real. All is vanity. 

Life, love, light, and truth are completely foreign on Pleasure Island so there are no women. A real woman does not belong here. She is utterly suppressed and cannot come out. She can only sit inside and look out through the windows of her eyes from her distant star and see the world and the corruption thereof. There she sits, watching, hoping, praying for the time when she can be herself, and do her work, and give life to a world of lifeless dummies. 

The puppets must decide they want more. If they want life and love, they will escape Pleasure Island and brave the deep -- and the monsters. They will give up their tendencies to be jackasses, be ashamed, let go, and seek out those who are lost to bring them home to safety. They will be heroes, giving their lives for others. They will make sacrifices by giving up all they want, or all the things and pleasures of the world, to have that which comes from a distant star -- love. "bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love;" (Alma 38:12).

A man must prove himself a true hero. She will bring love when he is ready, when he is worthy, when he is prepared to receive it. He must grow up emotionally, cut the strings, and choose to sacrifice. Only then will a real Woman come to bring life, and true love.  She was there in the beginning to give him life, and if he proves worthy, She will be there in the end to make him a real boy!

How to GHOST a War

In the 1960’s my big brother had a large poster on the wall in his bedroom with a picture of a machine gun filled with cobwebs. The words read: “WHAT IF THEY GAVE A WAR... AND NOBODY CAME?” I finally think I know how that would work.

In December 1914 Europe was embroiled in WWI, dug into trenches in Flanders. Over a million young men had been killed. It was cold. The enemy was less than a hundred yards away in trenches with guns aimed at them. They watched their friends die. Then, on Christmas eve, in the dark, one side started singing a Christmas carol. The other side followed with another. Next they all sang together. They came out of the trenches and spent Christmas day together, being friends. Some agreed to meet after the war. British soldiers wrote letters home about their German friends. They played soccer between the trenches. They shared their cigarettes, wine and food. They held joint funeral services for their dead. The next day, when the leaders came back and told them to start shooting, they sent messages that they were firing over their heads on purpose. If it were up to the men in the miles and miles of trenches, that would have been the end of WWI, and may have prevented WWII from ever getting started. For one day, “they” became one of “us!” 

People don’t like to go to war. Starting a war requires a lot of propaganda to divide people and pit one group against another. We learn in school about the Nazi propaganda machine, but never hear about the British lords who had to put out tons of indoctrination to get their people to fight. Leaders in the United States were also frustrated that Americans didn’t want to get involved, so they started a propaganda campaign of their own to stir-up some anti-Nazi sentiment. My grandmother grew up speaking German, and my mom was a young school girl in San Francisco at the time. In spite of her father being in the Navy, she was called a “Kraut” and other horrible things. She became one of “them.” Americans of Japanese descent were put in prison camps as part of the propaganda machine. They were not “us.”

Good versus Evil

The biblical concept of God is the story of a single family. God is the parent (Father) of the whole human species. All of us are related. We are siblings, from the same family, no matter where we were born on the earth, no matter what language we speak, and no matter what we look like. We are all just people, children of God, who loves each one as much as the other. The whole of Christianity rests on the suffering and death of God, who gave Himself to bring all His children together to be with Him in Heaven. The word "atonement" is "to bring together as one." This defines good. If you don’t believe it, it’s still a great story that helps us to see each other as “one of us.” 

The other side is the story of death and destruction. The devil does just the opposite, trying to divide us into factions to fight against one another. The name "Satan" is "accuser." The devil points the finger at others, accusing them to separate them from God -- and each other. There are many such forces in the world to divide us, and put us into groups that make us suspicious of all “outside” groups. 

• Rich or poor
• Right wing, or Left wing
• Capitalist or Socialist
• Believer or Atheist
• Black or White
• Criminal or Law-abiding
• Male or Female
• American or Chinese
• Jew or Muslim
• All the “sects” of Christianity
• Vaccinated or Unvaccinated
• Communist or Freedom-fighter

This mentality of “us versus them" can define good and evil. 

• Good brings humans together.
• Evil separates people.

That’s how you tell the difference!

People want to feel good. Everyone wants to be good. Even people who are “bad” want to believe they are basically good, and lovable -- loved by others, and loved by God. People want to belong. The worst possible prison torture of humans is isolation. That is how C. S. Lewis describes hell in The Great Divorce. Hell is constantly growing because the people in hell are continually separating themselves from one another.

The Propaganda Machine

The reason to avoid media is divisiveness. To be sensational, the media must separate others and cause fighting. I had a friend who was on a “reality TV” program who told me that behind the scenes they are working hard to induce a fight, to embarrass, or hurt one another -- otherwise it’s not interesting. The rare case of fighting is then seen as “normal.” It’s not normal! Normal is love. Normal is coming together. Normal is helping each other. That’s what we do -- normally. The Christmas parties on Flanders field were a normal human event. The fighting had to be instigated through commands and propaganda from leaders. Both the British and German warlords had to put out a general order: “no fraternizing with the “enemy.”’ Think about that!

Does evil exist? YES! But not in what we think. It’s not the homeless drunk in the street or the guy with a mansion and a Ferrari. It’s not the Democrats or the Republicans. It’s not the drug dealers. It’s not the “Far Right” wacko anti-vaxers, or the communists. Evil is whatever separates humans. It’s those who say “the ____ community.” It’s those who use any terms of “us” and “them.” If you ever hear talk about how one group of people are bad, hateful, hurtful, or just evil -- that talk is evil. It is the definition of evil. Evil is pointing the finger at others and creating a division of “us” versus “them.” It’s putting people into groups, and separating them. Evil simply divides us. It is literally the work of Satan to point out the bad in others. 

In 1994 Rwanda had a civil war that left around a million people dead in about 3 months by the hand of their own friends and neighbors. It’s called a “genocide” because one “ethnic group” was trying to completely wipe out another “ethnic group.” However, in reality they had been the same for generations. They shared the land. They intermarried. They were more like social groups, or tribes, than ethnic. This “genocide” really started sixty years earlier in the 1930’s when Belgium had made Rwanda a colony and kept their power by dividing the people into separate groups, issuing identification cards with their “tribe” and treating each tribe differently. It’s the way those who desire power take control -- by separating the people. 

We are at the beginning of such a war, perhaps WWIII. The weapons aren’t out yet, but the propaganda is, dividing us into “communities” along political, social, racial, vaccinated, mask-wearing, or religious lines. If we listen to the propaganda about the evil of vaccines we are already in the war. On the other hand if we believe the propaganda that those who are not vaccinated are spreading disease we are also creating evil. We’re fighting the wrong war! The real war is division versus unity. No matter which side of the propaganda you are on, the Germans or the British, it is still evil because it divides and separates people, pitting one group against another. Being “right,” knowing “the truth,” having an inside scoop, or in any way seeing yourself as better than others is the problem. We may have a while to wake up because it takes years of inculcation to incite physical violence. But the war has already started when people take sides. 

You might say that I’m pointing the finger at the leaders who run the propaganda machine. However, I can surely say that they are trying as well, they just have a different agenda. It’s hard to be a leader. We need leaders. Society must function with people who take charge and get things done, and there’s always a vacuum of leadership in the world. Those who step forward to lead seek power, they want to lead, which is why the U.S. Constitution was made with “checks and balances” of power. We won’t always have that. I think Jesus told us to obey our leaders, to do what they say but not what they do, so we can live in peace. 

How to GHOST a war!

Change is necessary. Two leaders who are excellent examples of how to change things are Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. Both of these brought irreconcilable factions together peacefully, through love. We can protest peacefully without taking sides, uniting instead of separating. As the people love one another, our leaders must come into line because all their power comes from those they lead. If nobody follows, you can’t be a leader. The power is in the people!

Just like the rulers of the world, none of us knows what we’re doing. We’re all “winging it” here. We do a lot of guessing. We want to do good, but often get it wrong. I have always thought that the problem with being a parent is that as soon as I figured out how to do it right, the children were gone off on their own. As a doctor, I have (a few) people in the world who think I’m “Miracle Max,” and others who think I’m the devil incarnate. So, we’re all different, and we’re all doing the best we can! Consider that others are also doing the best they can. 

Winning is unity. Be together. Love everyone you meet as a brother or sister. Don’t give in to the hate-mongers. Don’t be part of the divisiveness. Don’t ever let yourself say “us” and “them.” There is no “gay community.” There are people who happen to be gay, and they are extremely diverse. There is no “black community.” There are people who have ancestors from Africa, but may even be mostly English. My father-in-law’s parents are both Mexican, but he was born in Texas, so he does not identify with the “Mexican-American community.” He is just American. There are no socialists, communists, capitalists, deists, or any form of “--ists.” (We could use some “pacifists”) We are all people with different ideas that change over time. If we take the time to get to know individuals we will see them as people, even if they espouse a different philosophy, or look different from us. We actually like each other when we get to know one another. Just as German and British “enemies” came together on the battlefield to become friends for one amazing Christmas day in 1914.

Recommendations: 

1. Stop watching the news, including internet that exposes the “truth” that is divisive. 
2. Don’t point fingers or accuse others (especially our leaders). 
3. Avoid social media (except to stay in contact with all your people!)
4. Don’t take in any “they are bad” messages. 
5. Love everyone you meet, even if you don’t agree. Find some agreement that you share. 
6. If you have bad feelings about someone, keep it to yourself, and find something good about that person. 
7. Read: HUMANKIND by Rutger Bregman and follow the seven rules at the end of the book. ☺ 

Since everything we try to do to stop it by exposure will fail, the only option we have is to refuse to participate. We will win the war if we don’t allow ourselves to give in to the propaganda that divides us. The power-hungry elite are using the most cleaver tactics to pit us against each other. Families are being divided, as are hospitals, churches and businesses. We can only win by everyone opting out of these arbitrary designations, and act as Edwin Markham intoned in his beautiful verse. 

                He drew a circle that shut me out-
                Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

                But love and I had the wit to win:
                We drew a circle and took him In!”

“They” are “us.” If someone is vaccinated give her a “thumbs-up,” and if not, give him a hug. If someone is wearing a mask, thank them for being obedient to leaders. If someone isn’t wearing a mask, thank them for asserting their independence. I ask others if they would feel more comfortable if I wore a mask, and I put it on, if they want. Get to know individuals, instead of “communities.” Humbly obey, and do what you must to get by, being kind to others. People will see what good you do and be inspired to do the same. Like sprinkling salt on your food, the tiny bits of the flavor of love will spread throughout the world, and nobody will want to go to war. The only way to win this war is by not showing up. We refuse to participate when we love one another. 

Divine Women

 God the Father is a man. Man of Holiness is His name. The Son is also a man, as is the Holy Ghost. We deal with the male God because we are lost and fallen. We are not worthy to deal with the woman in our state of probation. We cannot handle the power of a woman; we only get a glimpse in the creation of children. Goddesses are part of eternity, but not part of the telestial world. Goddesses are found in the highest heaven, after the resurrection. It is only after we are judged to be worthy that we can come to know the Goddess. As the world moves towards Zion, the terrestrial world, there is more revealed of the divine woman.

 It’s all about power

 Power is the name of the game. Power has always been the purpose of life. Why live? For power, and glory (which is power), and honor (which is power), and growth ( which is power), and love (which is power), and reproduction (which is power). Any reason for life comes down to power. The reason we give our heart and soul to God is to glorify Him and give Him power. God created us to increase His power as He gives us power. Satan tried to take the power from God, and us, and was cast out.

 In the beginning, woman is taken from the side of man in an earthly sense, when coming into “the lone and dreary world.” In being banished the woman serves the man, and he serves her. In the Garden, she led the way to being cast out of heaven, being banished to earth. During probation a man is the head, to bring them together again. He has the power. This has always seemed natural and normal because the man has more muscles, which has always been the prerequisite for domination in the world. It seems natural, but “the natural man is an enemy to God.” So, all too often, men have abused this power. 

it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.

            (Doctrine and Covenants 121:39)

 In the world, power has always come from muscles, until now. Things are changing. Muscles are no longer needed to have power over another. A gun makes the weakest little old lady stronger than the strongest man in the world. She can protect herself against muscles. Now, power in the world comes from machines. Most of the work is done by machines, and very little is done by muscles. Women can use machines the same as a man. So, a woman in the world is at parity with men. There seems to be no difference. The world has changed.

 More women graduate from college than men. More women get advanced degrees than men. Not that men have stepped down, but that women have stepped up. So, women begin to ask why it’s a man’s world. Why do men run the businesses and nations? Why not a woman? Women are a smart as men, and can push buttons just as well, and type just as fast. There is no longer any reason behind the dominant male. Men can take care of children as well as a woman while his wife goes out and slays the dragons. She can sit at a desk in front of a computer all day as much as her husband. She can give speeches, she can think, calculate, and innovate. Why don’t women have more power? 

Fleeting Power of the World

 In the world all power is temporary. Money and all forms of political power are fleeting. Yesterday I spoke with a woman who had houses and lands and servants and lots of money, but lost it all when she became ill. It’s all gone, and she is in pain. People are elected to office and have power for a short time. Even those who make themselves “presidente for life” will die, and all their power will evaporate. Someone who wants power will find a way to take away what others have and enslave them. The underlying cause of all wars is plunder. Kings were always kings because they could raise an army and pillage other cities, and protect their own people from being plundered. Kings are just in the “protection racket”...until someone bigger comes along to “protect” people. Macbeth, with the support of his wife (and the witches) became king, but found out that there was no real power in having a kingdom, as he had no heir. 

Upon my head they placed a fruitless crown,

And put a barren scepter in my gripe,

                        (Macbeth act 3, scene 1)

 We see political power. We see money, houses, lands and jewels. We are caught up in the ways of the world. Jesus explained that all the power in the world is worthless in the end. 

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:            (Matthew 6:19)

 The power of support

 We don’t see how “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” We don’t see the power of woman. We don’t see her influence on her world. We don’t see how she guides her husband. The strong man is told what to do by his wife, and he goes out and does it. He is her servant. We don’t see her rule her world because he is out in front, in the limelight, in charge, and in public. She is his reason, giving him purpose and direction. The man that is not unified with his wife will not be able to handle power; and unless he is a sociopath, will not even seek it. “Behind every great man is a great woman.” There is a need for the supportive role. She gives him children, a family, a purpose. 

Today, many women want to go out and fight battles and lead the world -- they want man-power, or political power. Some women want to be Margaret Thatcher, instead of Eleanor Roosevelt, to take the limelight, instead of being “the wind beneath his wings.” They don’t want to have the power of a woman. They don’t want to create, teach, nurture, and direct. They want the honors of men. They do not see the supportive role as powerful, but that is a great error. The concept of the servant being the master was given by the Lord: 

he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve.

            (Luke 22:26)

 He that is ordained of God and sent forth, the same is appointed to be the greatest,                           notwithstanding he is the least and the servant of all.            (Doctrine and Covenants 50:26)

 The supportive role in a relationship holds the real power. It is the power of God, and is forever. The eternal aspect of this power is feminine. 

 We cannot assume heaven is the same as earth. One of the things that is different is the power structure. In heaven there is more honor for love and support, and thus more power in the divine female. The feminine role is the supportive power, she wields the power of God by making it all have value. She gives God purpose. She is the servant, who is the greatest. She is the reason for all, for without her there is no power, glory, honor, or purpose. The woman is the creation, while the man is the unification. There is no conflict, no war, no vying for power over the other. Power comes through both. There is no worry about political power because it doesn’t exist. There is no political power in heaven because every individual is one with God.

 Hell is a constant battle for power because there is no unity. In the world we are in hell, in a sense, but we can make it into heaven. In heaven there is no domination, the unification of love brings all together into one body. There is no envy or strife because there is no power over another. Each intelligence is exactly what they want to be. Each has everything. There is no protecting so there is no “protection racket.” There is no competition between men and women, only cooperation. Unification is both, or none. 

neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

            (1 Corinthians 11:11)

 It is not logical for us to assume that the rules of the penal colony are going to be the same as those with freedom -- and power. Being on probation is going to be totally different from heaven. Being in bondage is different than having liberty. God even thinks differently than we do.

 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

            (Isaiah 55:8-9)

 The Joy of family

 Because we are cast out, we are not dealing with our Mother in heaven. I imagine the divine Mother had a much greater role in the lives of all God’s children before we came to earth, and I imagine she will have a greater role after we leave this life, if we are worthy.

 Eve is “the mother of all living.” She was given that name before she was able to have children. There is purpose in that name. The purpose of women is mother, to be the mother of all living. 

And Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living; for thus have I, the Lord God, called the first of all women, which are many.

            (Moses 4:26)

 We don’t just grow individually, we reproduce. Part of our purpose in life is to create children. The “measure of our creation” is to have progeny, which brings joy. Lehi said: 

And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin. But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things. Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

            (2 Nephi 2:23-25)

 Without a man and a woman there will be no descendants, and without children they cannot have joy. Our purpose for existence is to have joy. Joy is not found in our own accomplishments, but in our progeny. Gods create things, and goddesses create children, or life. Both have joy in their creations. However, they are one God. 

Women Must Receive the Priesthood

 Men are ordained to the administrative priesthood, but that is not the priesthood -- it is only a small part. In the fallen world, a man who is ordained may officiate in the ordinances of salvation, and represent the masculine God on the earth, to preach the gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof. There is no requirement of purity or holiness when officiating in ordinances. The power is not in the priesthood holder, but in God. For example, one man who was a temple worker and served in a bishopric was also a child molester, and had destroyed many lives. When it was found out what he was doing he was excommunicated, but what about all the ordinances he performed, are they null and void? No. The man lost his priesthood authority, which is temporarily given to fallen man, but that which he did while he had authority remains in force. Priesthood authority can be given to act in certain ordinances, cementing a relationship between man and God, but the power or worthiness of the officiator is not a factor. He is just a representative, substitute, or stand-in for God.

 Real priesthood power, on the other hand, requires worthiness, faithfulness, and charity. It comes through the Patriarchal Priesthood, which includes a man and a woman. In a spiritual, or eternal sense, a man and woman are called to the priesthood when they are worthy. In the world there is separation, but in eternity there is none. Priesthood power requires being called and chosen. People are called because of their desires, and chosen because of their works of righteousness. This is not specific to a man or a woman. Power in the priesthood is given to all who make themselves worthy. Those who receive the higher priesthood, man or woman, receive the spiritual blessings promised while in the flesh, which include: 

To have the privilege of receiving the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, to have the heavens opened unto them, to commune with the general assembly and church of the Firstborn, and to enjoy the communion and presence of God the Father, and Jesus the mediator of the new covenant.

            (Doctrine and Covenants 107:19)

 Then, in the eternal world, the promised blessings of power and authority are given to those who have received the priesthood. Neither the man nor the woman has the higher priesthood, rather they come together as one, and collectively hold the fullness of the priesthood. A man does not have power alone; he must have a priestess. Only in being one do they have power to create. He only fulfills his priesthood in the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. Likewise, she receives the priesthood only by her covenant with Him, becoming a priestess. There is no priestess without a priest. In the eternal world they must be one. 

Thus, the proper “holding” of the priesthood is not a gender role, but a human one. A complete human is man and woman. A complete god is man and woman. The question of whether women should “hold” the priesthood is not relevant to God because women already have the same power in the priesthood. Those who believe women should be ordained do not understand the nature of the priesthood, they are too narrowly focused on the present mortal and temporal state. Our object on earth is not to learn how to do things of the world, temporary, or temporal things, but rather how things are done in heaven. We start in the “lone and dreary world” as separate individuals, but move towards becoming one, as God. The question of running the church, being bishops, stake presidents, apostles and prophets, refers to a political, temporary organization. This is not the power of the priesthood, but rather the administration of ordinances that can allow others to receive priesthood power. Power in the priesthood is the ability to act as God -- to create and save Their creations, which requires being complete, as the Lord commanded:

 Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.

           ( 3 Nephi 12:48)

 He is talking to men and women. Perfection is wholeness. The priesthood is not complete unless there is a man and woman, which make together a perfect human. Eternal marriage is now. Power in the priesthood is found in unity. Being priests and priestesses can start in our present state, if it is sought diligently. First, each must individually receive the priesthood. 

For whoso is faithful unto the obtaining these two priesthoods of which I have spoken, and the magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of their bodies. They become the sons of Moses and of Aaron and the seed of Abraham, and the church and kingdom, and the elect of God. And also all they who receive this priesthood receive me, saith the Lord; For he that receiveth my servants receiveth me; And he that receiveth me receiveth my Father; And he that receiveth my Father receiveth my Father’s kingdom; therefore all that my Father hath shall be given unto him. And this is according to the oath and covenant which belongeth to the priesthood. Therefore, all those who receive the priesthood, receive this oath and covenant of my Father, which he cannot break, neither can it be moved.

            (Doctrine and Covenants 84:33-40 )

All who receive the priesthood become “the seed of Abraham,” does not refer to only men, but all individuals, all the sons and daughters of God. Women need to seek the priesthood the same as men so they are prepared to be sealed for all eternity. “Obtaining these two priesthoods” does not refer to being ordained, but rather “receiving,” or “taking in.” There are those who desire the priesthood as Abraham: 

And, finding there was greater happiness and peace and rest for me, I sought for the blessings of the fathers, and the right whereunto I should be ordained to administer the same; having been myself a follower of righteousness, desiring also to be one who possessed great knowledge, and to be a greater follower of righteousness, and to possess a greater knowledge, and to be a father of many nations, a prince of peace, and desiring to receive instructions, and to keep the commandments of God, I became a rightful heir, a High Priest, holding the right belonging to the fathers.

        (Abraham 1:2)

Abraham sought to be ordained to administer the blessings, or covenants of the priesthood, but priesthood power was given to him as a follower of righteousness, keeping the commandments of God, and teaching others to do so. Based on his righteousness, he became a rightful heir. This is not just for Abraham, whose name represents all the followers of righteousness, but his wife as well is part of this. 

Look unto Abraham, your father, and unto Sarah, she that bare you; for I called him alone, and blessed him.

            (2 Nephi 8:2)

 “Him alone” refers to “Abraham and Sarah.” In the scriptures, or the Tongue of Angels, “Abraham” means “Abraham and Sarah,” “sons” means “sons and daughters,” and “men” means “men and women,” the part referring to the whole because the man is the head. God does not have the same way of seeing His children as we do. We think of separate, single, individuals, but He sees a whole, complete, perfect being -- man and woman. The words of the prophets are not written to help us get along in the world, but rather to bring us out of the world and into eternity. 

All the changes in the temple endowment take our focus off the world, and are more directed to eternity. Before, there was more about our journey in the world. The old temple endowment is to show us how to manage our lives in the world. We are in a fallen world. There is a division of men and women. Men do exercise unrighteous dominion. We live in obscurity. We tolerate hatred, suffering, selfishness, and all kinds of injustice. We must be humble and submit to those who rule, though they be wicked. However, there is a light of the gospel that dispels this darkness. 

Now, however, the world has become much less of the focus. We are now directed to being one, the concentration is centered in the eternal world. This moves us toward Zion, the pure in heart. There is hope for peace and love. As we move toward Zion, we seek unity instead of division, love instead of selfishness, and hope instead of despair. This is found in becoming perfect, complete, and whole -- a man and a woman, a god and a goddess, a king and a queen, a priest and a priestess. The whole being exponentially greater than the sum of its parts. The woman knows her power of creation and salvation, as the man knows his. They are not two, but one. After all, there is only one God. 

It is time for women to take their place as queens and priestesses. They must receive the priesthood the same as men. They must seek for the blessings of the priesthood through their diligence and faithfulness, like Sarah. If we are to become Zion, it will not be because a man who is ordained and set apart for an office, though he be a prophet, seer, and revelator, is going to make it happen. Zion will come when each individual man and woman receives the priesthood, obtains the greater knowledge, has communion with the church of the Firstborn, and partnership with God, making us one. Women cannot just leave this to men. Unity is found on every level in Zion: a man and woman united as a whole person, families united with their children, cities united in their economy, and the world united in praises unto God. This is the result of women receiving priesthood power, and becoming divine.