As a child grows up physically, I seem to be growing spiritually. Occasionally, I will recognize where I was many years ago and see changes in my heart happening almost in spite of me. It happens so slowly and imperceptibly that I don't even notice a bit -- until I look back and see the gentle hand of the Lord in my life.
The hand of the Lord is so quiet. It guides so gently. There is no force or coercion in any way. Spiritual growth happens just one step at a time. The way opens up when I am ready to pass through it. It wasn't there before, but now it's there, like a door that opens from a wall where no door was perceived before. I always have the choice to go through the door -- or not; it is my own volition. There is no shove or prod to get me to go through, only a little push like a verbal nudge or pointing out that the way is opened.
"Arrival"
Each time a way is opened, and I go through, there is a sense that I have finally arrived. I'm there! I've reached spiritual maturity at last! But it turns out that I am no more mature spiritually than a three-year-old is physically. At the age of three children believe they are "big boys and girls." They are no longer babies that crawl around and have to be fed. They can do things independently like feed and dress themselves, and no longer need diapers; they have arrived at maturity -- in their own minds. Many children are very impatient to be "all grown up."
This is the way I have felt about my spiritual growth. Abraham, arguably the greatest prophet ever, except Jesus, was sixty-two years old when he said, "Thy servant has sought thee earnestly; now I have found thee." (Abraham 2:12) Perhaps Abraham thought he had "arrived," but even then he had a lot of growth ahead of him; it was another sixty years before his greatest trial. He enjoyed the journey up to the Throne of Grace, remaining faithful in all things.
The high road
The way to God may be an uphill climb, but it is a gentle easy slope. However, I want to "arrive" so badly, that I often forget to enjoy the journey. I get frustrated that I'm not "perfect" in one area or another. I get impatient with my weaknesses. I berate myself and sometimes even get depressed. The way seems so hard, like a steep, rocky trail that I have to traverse with a heavy pack on my back. The Lord may tell me to stop, rest, and take the rocks out of my backpack, or take His pack (a very light one indeed), but I'm too busy trying to "get there." If it is hard, it's because I make it hard.
I don't know why I feel the need to carry rocks in my pack. They are of no value, but it seems so important to carry them. They are the things of the world and the needs I "have to" fulfill. They are the jobs, desires, money, tasks, and other business of life. They are heavy burdens because I can never get ahead! I'm always a little behind. My needs are always just a little greater than what I have. I'm chasing a carrot-on-a-stick. I'm almost there, but just can't quite reach. If I work just a little longer and harder; if I just organize a little better; if I stay up a little later, or if I only had a few more hours in a day I think I could actually fill those needs. But, as I add more rocks, it only makes the way to God more difficult.
"My burden is light"
Jesus understood this concept clearly. He knew the full meaning of life when He said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30) His way is easy. There are no rocks in His pack. He takes care of the needs so all I am left with is walking up the trail. He has paved the way. He is the Pioneer who blazed the trail to God. I don't have to make it hard because I can let go of my pack entirely and take His.
However, He doesn't take my pack unless I give it to Him. I have to trust Him enough to stop and take it off. It's so hard because all those rocks seem so important right now! He calmly and patiently waits while I sort through each one, trying to decide which I really need, and which I am willing to give up. Meanwhile, I continue to carry my burden. He is so kind and gentle. He only points; there are few words, and none of them are condemning.
I stand in awe and reverence at the gentle hand of the Lord in my own life. How great He is! I know now that I'm nowhere near the age of maturity, but I also know that with the help of the Lord I will eventually "arrive" at full maturity. What a miracle that a heart as rebellious and proud as mine could be changed by such a gentle hand! It's like a diamond being cut by a flower.
I keep thinking about a talk given many years ago, printed in the Ensign, but I can't recall who gave it. It was all about perfection. It had a lot of examples, but the gist was that perfect and perfection are words translated from a Greek word meaning "finished" or "completed". Apparently, according to the article, there was no proper word in English to convey the meaning of the word in Greek, so they settled on "perfect". I don't speak to the accuracy of that, however, the article went on to explain that if you substitute the word "finished" or "completed" where you find "perfect" it alters the meaning. We are left with an understanding that rather than being without any flaw (perfect), it is important to "complete" our journey. That when we are "finished" as Christ was finished, we can rejoin our Father in Heaven. I have always tried to keep in mind that we will be rescued whether we are perfect or not, because, none of us will be perfect. We just have to complete OUR journey. We don't have to "accomplish" any specific goal to complete our journey. We just need to stay on the path, as you say. God's grace will take up the slack. We do not earn our way into heaven. Indeed, because of the imperfections of men, it would be impossible to "earn" our way into heaven. And if it were, no one would actually be able to do it. Grace is just that: Grace. Because He understands, and because He loves us. He will make up for our shortcomings. Nice.
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