Fathers

There are many different concepts of the word "father," but the scriptures give an interesting twist on it.  We often think of a father as someone who creates us -- and we are not responsible or even aware of it.  However, the word of the Lord is that we choose our father, depending on whom we obey, or follow.  

Father of the body

We are born into a body by way of a mother and a father.  Everyone has a "sperm donor" to thank for their mortal life on Earth.  Nobody is born without one.  Adopted children often insist that they want to know their "real" father.  I think we attach too much importance to this father.  We assume we are "conceived in love" and came to be because we are wanted, but this may not be the case.  In fact, it's often a fantasy.  Some get very angry that the one who engendered them isn't interested in raising them because it destroys their fantasy of being loved just for being.  It is passive love, and therefore not really love at all.  Perhaps we attach entirely too much emotional importance to the father of our bodies because of our fantasies.  Our "real" fathers are really the men whom we choose to follow. 

 

Father of physical growth and maturity

The man who creates our body may be worthy to be called a father if he loves and cares for us, or if he helps us to grow and learn.  We then have a father who teaches us and raises us, giving us a chance to have an abundant life.  This father provides the necessities such as food, clothing, shelter, as well as instruction in how to interact with others.  We may also be taught how to function independently, providing for ourselves and others.  Most of the time this is the same father who engendered us, but there are other possibilities.  Sometimes the one who gives us life is not the one who raises us and teaches us. 

Many are adopted by a different father who raises them as his own.  Some children don't like the idea that they are adopted; there is a certain stigma attached to adoption, as if a child isn't loved by his biological father.  However, adoption is a reality of life since the beginning of time.  Adoption can be just as loving, or not, as any biological arrangement.  Some choose a father to adopt them, like my uncle Jack.  Jack was the product of my grandmother and her first husband, who was abusive so she divorced him and married a good man.  When my uncle was in his late teens, he took his stepfather down to the court in San Francisco and filed the adoption papers.  He wanted to legally have the name of his stepfather, and call him "father." 

Ultimately, it is the choice of each individual to find a father to raise them to maturity.  Neighbors, uncles, grandfathers, teachers, scoutmasters, or others who have close contact with a child can all help to teach the child how to grow up and be independent.  There may be more than one because there are many areas of growth.  All of those men who assist in the development and maturity of a child can be rightly called "father." 

It is the child, then, in the process of growing up, who chooses his own father by choosing whom he will follow.  He may choose any man, living or dead, to influence his maturity.  As a young man in college, I chose Benjamin Franklin.  After reading his autobiography, which is really just his instruction to his own son, I decided I would do as he did to become mature, trying to improve myself every day.  Ben Franklin is my father.  Later, I chose to follow others: Joseph Smith, Nephi, Mormon, and Paul, to name a few.  These are my fathers as well, as long as I continue to follow their example. 

Spiritual Fathers

We commonly recognize and use the term "father" for those who assist in our spiritual growth.  There are those in our lives who influence us, or bring us to God.  They teach us the spiritual side of life, allowing us to see what cannot be seen with the eyes, to hear what cannot be heard with the ears, to feel what cannot be touched, and to understand the mysteries of life.  From the beginning the term "father" has been used to indicate him who brings us to God.  For example, the term "rabbi" means "father," as do many of the titles of leaders of other religious traditions. 

All of the same kinds of fathers that help a child to become physically mature apply to spiritual maturity as well.  In fact, Jesus indicated that physical birth may have little to do with spiritual fatherhood.  "And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham.  (Matthew 3:9)  Spiritual fatherhood is more of the child choosing whom he will follow, as Jesus further explained, "They answered and said unto him, Abraham is our father.  Jesus saith unto them, If ye were Abraham's children, ye would do the works of Abraham."  (John 8:39) 

Jesus Christ, Father of salvation

Jesus is the Son of God.  He is the "Anointed One" who came to the Earth to fulfill the plan of the Father.  If we are also children of God, then we are the brethren of Jesus Christ.  As He has returned to God, He has provided the way for us to follow Him.  Paul explains: "And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together."  (Romans 8:17) 

Though Jesus is our brother, He is also our Father.  There are two ways that Jesus Christ is our Father, or that He has engendered, or saved, us.  The first is found in His resurrection.  He lives.  The tomb was empty because He was alive.  They went to "seek the living among the dead," (Luke 24:5) but He wasn't there.  He died, but is alive again.  And, because He was resurrected, we shall all likewise live again.  He is the Father of the immortal bodies of all of God's children.  All are saved from death so all can rightly call Him their father. 

The second is our choice to become His children.  Isaiah tells us that when Christ performs the Atonement, "he shall see his seed."  (Isaiah 53:10)  Abinadi expounds this concept beautifully.  After explaining that Christ is both the Father and the Son, he teaches how one becomes a son of God.  "Behold I say unto you, that whosoever has heard the words of the prophets, yea... all those who have hearkened unto their words, and believed that the Lord would redeem his people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of their sins, I say unto you, that these are his seed, or they are the heirs of the kingdom of God.  For these are they whose sins he has borne; these are they for whom he has died, to redeem them from their transgressions. And now, are they not his seed?"  (Mosiah 15:11-12)  Those who believe in Christ and are saved from Eternal torment by Him are His children, and He is their Father. 

God, the Father of all

He who created all mankind is the ultimate Father.  He engendered all that live, have ever lived, or will live.  The inhabitants of all the worlds are begotten sons and daughters unto God.  It is His will we seek.  He is our goal.  Our existence is according to His plan.  He gave us life.  He loves us.  He provides for all of His children -- giving them everything they need to be able to return to Him.  The Earth is His plan, and everything was prepared in it for the benefit of His children.  He sent His only begotten Son so that we may have Eternal Life.  He is the Father of all. 

He is not an absentee Father.  He is with each of His children at all times.  However, we often don't feel, see, or understand His presence because we don't know Him.  We have left Him because of choices we made to disobey Him.  He lives in a kingdom where He is the King.  Those who don't obey the King are not allowed to stay in His Kingdom.  So, in that sense, we chose to move out.  In spite of our rebellion, though, He does not entirely leave us.  He continues to love and support us in all that we do. 

Moreover, He continually invites us to return to Him.  He tells us to "Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you."  (D&C 88:63) And then He shows us how.  Every minute of every day we have the grace of God with us, though we may not recognize it.  He loves us, and keeps us out of the depths of Hell, but gives us our choice according to our desires.  If we choose to suffer, He will allow it only because He has given us the gift of agency, or the ability to choose. 

Multiple Fathers

The fathers who engender or care for us we owe a devotion for giving us life -- we don't choose them, they chose us.  They may be wonderful fathers who help us to grow, or not, but they give us the opportunity to choose whom we will follow simply because they give us life.  The fathers of our bodies are multiple, being called "father, grandfather, great-grandfather," and so on.  All are our fathers. 

The other fathers are those we choose, or the ones we obey and follow, whether physically or spiritually.  These are the really important ones in this life because this is how we determine our ultimate destiny.  These are our choice and not theirs.  Even if we live with our biological father, we are not obligated to follow him.  If he doesn't help us become mature because he isn't, we can find another.  Ben Franklin didn't choose to be my father, but I certainly owe him a debt of gratitude for providing information for me that has nurtured my growth.  I call him my father, though I don't believe there is any genetic connection.  I adopted him. 

Ultimately, the greatest choice we can make in a father is the Lord.  If we choose Jesus Christ to be our Father, then we also choose our Heavenly Father.  We only come to know our Father in Heaven through Christ.  This is how we come to find happiness and joy, peace and love -- or eternal life.  "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent."  (John 17:3)