The Way to Change

Hans Christian Andersen wrote a tale about an Emperor who wanted some new clothes. A couple of charlatans came to him and offered to make his clothes out of the finest cloth ever woven, so fine that it can only be seen by those whose hearts are pure, who are fit for their post. (Why an emperor would ever agree to wear such cloth on his own body is a mystery, for if he had any sense at all he would know that nobody is fit for their post, and he would be exposed) Nevertheless, he agreed, and the clothing was "made." As the emperor marched down the street nobody dared admit they couldn't see the clothing, until a child pointed out the naked man. The emperor was a fool.

I would like to take a part of this story as an illustration of human nature. Everyone feels insecure -- it's universal in all cultures, all races, and all times. Just like all the people in the story were lying to themselves and others that they really could see the beautiful clothes of the emperor, each person is plagued with feelings of inadequacy, and likewise fear so they live a lie. We are shamed by others into "seeing" things that don't exist. Modern examples of the emperors clothing include:

Global warming, climate change, or whatever
Evolution
Cancer treatment
The need to invade other countries and declare war
Science
Homosexuality
Justice/Law
Modern Physics
Atheism
Medicine
Religion
Politics/freedom
Addictions
Money/Economics

Our particular culture dictates what we think about these things and we just parrot what "everyone" is saying. We "see" what doesn't exist, and pass along the same lies to others who then do the same. Each is afraid to speak the truth because of shame. Everyone is saying it so it must be true. Because of our shame we have insecurity and are unable to go against the crowd.

Shame is universal, transcending both time and place, and until we overcome it we are doomed to remain fools. We will live lies and pass them on to others. Some try to see the truth, but are kept from it by their peers, and all the so-called experts who are so sure of themselves. Some try religion to overcome shame. Others go to counselors, and still others seek to become experts, studying all the time. There are three basic ways to deal with shame.

Sweep it under the rug
To hide the shame is the object of most psychotherapy, and some religions. Pretend it doesn't exist. Ignore it and it will go away. Blame it on others. Blame it on your mother -- she's the one who shamed you by teaching you morality. Deny the existence of right and wrong. Everything is good. You are OK. You are really good, not bad, and there's no reason for you to feel this way. Suppress those feelings, or deny them.

Atheists, agnostics, and New Age religionists become a "law unto themselves" to deny their shame. If I make the laws, I can do what I want and there is no shame in this.

However, denial doesn't really make it go away, and causes many other problems. People who deny their feelings of guilt and shame end up sweeping all their feelings under the rug. They become "past feeling" and are unable to feel love, joy, peace, and happiness. They live with constant, low-grade, or intermittent depression and anxiety. They use drugs to try to suppress these feelings. Denial doesn't solve the problem, and only creates more problems.

Do all the right things
Most religions have a list of boxes that can be checked to make one feel good. Sometimes it's the religion, but mostly it's the person choosing to be self-righteous that uses the religion to deny his guilt and prevent shame. I was one of these, learning all I could about religion so I could do everything right. The Pharisees of the time of Jesus were the same way. They assumed that because they kept the Law of Moses to the letter that they were good. When a rich, young ruler came to Jesus to ask what he could do to be righteous, "Jesus said unto him... Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.
And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up." (Luke 18:19-21) He had checked all the boxes, but it still didn't work -- he still didn't feel it.

Whether your religion is atheism, environmentalism, Buddhism, Mormonism, vegetarianism, Christianity, capitalism, Marxism, or Judaism you can find the tenets, rituals or laws that will allow you to appear righteous. Then you can check all the boxes, justifying yourself so others will acknowledge your superiority, piousness, and faithfulness.

But, checking all the right boxes doesn't solve the problem either. It keeps you living a lie and being separated from others. You cannot get close because they might discover your secret -- you really aren't what you pretend to be. This is no solution.

There's no way to change
The last way to deal with your inherent shame is to admit that it isn't possible. This is the most truthful lie of all. When going to Alcoholics Anonymous, for example, we are shamed into admitting that we are alcoholics and can never change. We will always be alcoholics so we need to live with it and work around it, avoiding alcohol for the rest of our lives. Going to meetings to keep on the straight and narrow path, and doing what they do. There's nothing you can do. It's just the way you are, and you can't change it.

Homosexuals are also taught this method. They are told they have a genetic aberration that causes them to be attracted to members of the same sex, instead of the "normal" way. You can't change your genes, it's just the way you are. They become very militant to force everyone to acknowledge that they are really normal, good, and acceptable. In spite of the truth that "two roosters don't make a chicken" society watches the emperor in the parade go by, even voting to change laws from reality to fantasy.

Giving up and giving in to weakness doesn't solve the problem of guilt and shame because you continually walk around with guilt and shame. It's a miserable existence. While this is the most truthful, all of the ways people normally deal with their insecurities are lies, but there is another way.

The Way, the Truth
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6) This way is His way. It is the way of repentance. Repentance is change, real change, a change of heart. This happened to the people of King Benjamin when they had repented, they acknowledged, "the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent... has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually." (Mosiah 5:2) This "mighty change" is what everyone seeks. It brings peace of heart, real peace, as taught by Jesus to His disciples: "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you." (John 14:27) The peace of the world is all the other ways of dealing with guilt and insecurity, and doesn't work, as we have seen. Christ offers another way.

Repentance begins with humility, acknowledging our shame and guilt, and understanding the real reason for it. We really are "fallen angels" who are powerless to return to our former glory. As the prodigal son admitted he had wasted all his inheritance and had nothing to offer, but came to his father in hopes of being a servant, we come to God. We are lost. We are powerless. However, rather than leave it there we put our faith and trust in the Lord that He can change us, make us whole, and bring us back to our Heavenly Home. No matter where we are or what we've done He can put us in the good graces of our Father.

The process of repentance allows the change to happen to our hearts. By submitting to Christ as our Teacher, Leader, Coach, and Lord, we do all he tells us to do, every minute of every day, and he guides us on the path back home. It is not an easy path, but it is more than worth the effort. He is the only way. All other ways are like putting a band-aid over a cancer. Christ cures the cancer, and makes us whole. He can totally remove the guilt and shame, making us clean. We are healed of our blindness, deafness, and leprosy. We are raised from the dead. We have no insecurity. Through Him, we can have confidence in the presence of God, being completely free of guilt and shame, having peace, love, and hope. There is no other way.