The Roller Coaster

I never liked roller coasters. I've been on them multiple times, but I didn't enjoy them. I would grit my teeth, hold on tight, and wish the thing would stop. Dropping from dizzying heights gave me an intense feeling in my stomach that I didn't like. In spite of this, I often went, just to be with the kids, or other group.

A few months ago, we went to Disneyland and the children prevailed upon me to ride California Screamin' at the new park. It was the first time I had been there. At first I got the usual tension, but this time I did something different, I let go and instead of trying to get it to stop. I let it go and went with it. Suddenly, all of those bad feelings went away. I became one with the coaster car, dropping, spinning around, and looping. The acceleration was exhilarating! It was so much fun. We went again, and again until we were all nauseated from motion sickness. I really enjoyed it.

In trying to control the ride, something over which I have no control, I didn't find roller-coasters enjoyable. It is going to coast down the track, no matter what I say, do, or feel. It just is. It's made to stay on the track. It's not going to fly off. I'm not going to die. I'm strapped-down so I don't fly out. It's safe.  I can relax, go with it, and enjoy it.

Life's little ups and downs

Over the past few years, my life has been like a roller coaster. My family is in Utah, and I'm flying back-and-forth every other weekend.  The other week I need to take care of Charly.  I have many problems with my business, every day. I have staff problems. I have patient problems. There are constant fires to be put out in the nursing home. I'm getting pushed-around by my schedule. Sometimes it feels like the office is in a free-fall, ready to crash in any moment, but then suddenly something happens and we pull out of it. I have been trying to stop all of the busy-ness of my life. I'm always feeling like I'm trying to slow it down. I feel an intense sinking feeling of doom in my stomach every time I drive to work. I want it to stop.

Last week I had a big change in my life. I decided to relax and enjoy the ride. I realized that life is not just to be endured until you reach a happy, stable, and peaceful state on the other side, but rather to be enjoyed -- NOW! The roller-coaster that is my life is now. This is it. I'm not going to get another life. I'm going to move forward no matter what, coasting down a track that takes twists and turns unexpectedly, why not enjoy the ride?

Well, I did just that! I feel great! I love life again! I find it fun and exhilarating! The storms continue to rage. We still have all the same problems. Nothing on the track has changed, only my attitude. Instead of waiting for it to stop, I'm buckled-down in the seat, expecting to be thrown to one side or the other, or dropped fifty feet. I let it go. I don't try to control it. It's fun!

I can do this because I have trust in the Lord, Jesus Christ. I know that it's safe.  He made the ride safe for me so no matter what happens, I'll get off safe when it stops.  The outcome is determined by my relationship with Him, and not what happens to me. It's going to happen. My course is set. The twists and turns are there already and I'm not going to change them so I can let them happen, putting my trust in God. It's a wonderful life!