The Greatest Sex EVER!

The climax of human indulgence has never been so high.  In modern society we are able to fulfill every whim like never before in the history of mankind.  Every sensory organ or nerve can be stimulated to the highest degree, or suppressed to the lowest.  Even the least of us can live in constant comfort, with everything we need to satisfy every desire.  We keep our ambient temperature exact, we bathe every day in warm water, we can have pictures of all that we like to see before our eyes, we can hear any music, entertainment, or speech we want to hear at all times, our taste buds are stimulated to the fullest at every meal at which time we fill our bellies to overflowing, and we can smell anything we want.  We have pills to take us up, put us down, or make us sideways.  There is no end to our ability to indulge.

This is just as true of sexual indulgence.  Our children are taught, if not at home then by society, that sexual indulgence is best in youth, that sex with strangers is better than a spouse, and that there is no need to be married.  The problem with this teaching is that it only scratches the surface of what a real relationship can be.  Sex, as taught by society is little more than mutual masturbation.  It is using others for self-indulgence on an emotional level.  The need to connect with others emotionally seems like it could be fulfilled in a sexual relationship, bypassing the actual relationship of the heart.

Society teaches many myths about sexual relations.  Besides being supple and energetic in youth, we are also told more is better, and that different positions, partners and places bring more enjoyment or satisfaction.  All that we are taught is the lowest level of selfishness, and can never come close to the truth.  Sex is merely the token of marriage, the union of a man and a woman.  The token is not the real thing, it is only a portion, or a shadow of what can be.  The only achievement we get from the token is orgasm, which gets old, boring and unfulfilling.  It feels good for a few seconds, but that's the end.

When I am hungry because I haven't eaten anything in several days, jelly beans may taste good, but they don't fill the need for food, nor are they satisfying.  Changing to a different flavor of jelly bean still won't satisfy.  Superficial sexual relationships are like jelly beans, we may briefly get sweet flavor, but we can't live on them.  Our emotional needs are not filled at all, even though it seems like they should be because it feels good.  Those who indulge in pictures or movies to feel stimulated also have such issues.  They taste good, but don't satisfy.  Moreover, those who live by indulging their tastes become weaker, and sickly.  They cannot sustain it long, and lose the ability, or even the desire for sex.  

Married or not, most people remain as dependent children trying to get their own needs filled by others, hoping, like a dope addict, that this next time will be real.  Many give up hope, becoming depressed, or suffer with anxiety or become bitter about life, being angry all the time.  They are like Mick Jagger who said, "I can't get no satisfaction [sic]."  They continue to live without the hope of completion, fulfillment, or satisfaction.

Love
On the other hand, there are those few who are willing to make a sacrifice of their own heart.  They learn to love, and develop trust with their spouse over time.  They work hard to give instead of take.  They pray for help from God to teach them love and trust.

What makes a great sexual relationship is love and trust that comes from experience.  The real thing is the connection that we achieve as we become one from the heart.  The human being is not complete as a single individual, a whole organism is a man and a woman together.  We start out as individuals and gradually grow together emotionally to become one.  This mystic unity is where this greatest experience of sex takes place.  It is a gift of the heart that brings real satisfaction and fulfillment.  Sex is the physical token of the unity of the heart, and when both are present, we are filled.

True love is unselfish.  Our needs are less important when we look for the spiritual growth of our spouse.  As we grow individually, we also grow closer together, eventually becoming one.  This process is so difficult, it's like climbing Mount Everest.  So few achieve it that almost nobody is aware of the possibility.  Moreover, those who do become one generally don't write a book or go out and teach classes on how to do it.  It is something very personal that only two can share with God.  It is the creation of wholeness, a whole human being, a new birth.

This new life is like a child that is nurtured and grows continually.  It is a whole new emotional and spiritual world, filled with wonder and excitement -- the world of love.  It never gets old, and never dies.  What people seek through changing partners, positions, and places can only truly be found in the realm of true love, freed from all selfish desires, wants, and needs.  Paradoxically, this freedom can only come when we are a whole being, man and woman, bound to each other.

Teaching unity
Others may notice that a couple has a good relationship on the outside, but they never know what is on the inside.  They can't see the heart, nor can they see the pains that the couple went through to bring this new life into the world.  Because unity is so rare and so personal almost nobody is around to teach the children about it.  Children may be told the steps, but they can't understand what they mean because they haven't experienced it so they most often go with what they know, which is indulgence.

A proper sex education must include an example of unity in marriage, as well as the steps to the greatest of all, not just the animal desires.  This is ideally taught in the home, as parents have gone through the steps and have become one so the children have a good example.  This is the best instruction of all.  When children grow up with parents that are of one heart, they will come to know and expect that.  Since most of us don't witness the world of completeness, we need to learn the hard way.  It's like a language, if we grow up speaking English, then we grasp it easily, but when we don't we need to take specific steps to learn it -- with a lot of effort.

All improvement requires four steps:

1. A good goal
2. A true plan
3. A real commitment
4. An equal sacrifice

A Good Goal
Every couple can become one if they are willing to set a goal to do so.  This is not automatic, it is consciously undertaken, and painstakingly achieved through continual effort.  It's not just being compatible, it is a choice the two of them make.  Most don't know it's possible so they can't make it a goal.

A True Plan
If I want to learn to play the piano, it would not be enough to buy a piano.  I would need to make a true plan that includes instruction and practice.  Likewise, there must be a plan laid out to achieve unity.  This would, of course, begin with marriage.  If our plan is to get married, and then do all that we can to fulfill the covenant of marriage, it is so much more than sex or having children.  A plan to fulfill the covenant of marriage must include learning to love, and developing trust.  These go together, but most have a backwards plan: you need to trust me.  The real plan must be: what can I do every day to earn your trust?  Trust develops over a long time of experience of being trustworthy.  No lying.  No cheating.  No seeking selfish desires.  Giving instead of taking.  Sacrificing ourselves.  Whatever includes these will be a true plan.

A Real Commitment
Since this is the highest achievement of mankind, becoming fully human, complete, and whole, it requires the greatest commitment of all.  This is a do-or-die endeavor.  It is 100% -- you must be ALL in or you won't reach it.  A half-hearted effort to climb Mount Everest may lead to disaster, but will not be rewarded with success.  This is why marriage is essential, ideally forever.  Those who are sealed together in the House of the Lord extend their commitment beyond death, seeking a truly permanent union.  I was explaining this to a friend many years ago and she said, "Why would I want to be with him forever?!  It's hard enough just until death!"  She didn't want unity with her husband, and wasn't willing to make a real commitment with her heart.

An Equal Sacrifice
The sacrifice must be equal to the desired goal.  If we want everything, then we must sacrifice everything.  The actual sacrifice we must make is our whole heart.  Most expect our spouse to make a sacrifice before we are willing to do the same.  This plan will never work.  We must continually ask ourselves if our pride is more important than the relationship.  Are we letting our own needs get in the way?  Time allows us to change as we learn to give instead of taking.

"Be one"
Becoming one is worth all the effort we can muster.  It is far more than worth giving up our selfish needs.  It is a confinement like no other.  It's more important than any work or accomplishment we can do.  It's better than being a king, president, or ruler.  It's more important than a prophet or seer.  It's more fulfilling than wealth or riches of any kind.  Indeed, it is the only truly human achievement -- it's how we become fully human.  Unity is the greatest human experience of all -- becoming whole, complete, and fulfilled, the very definition of happiness!

Those who have not experienced the wonders of two hearts knit together in love can never understand how awesome it is.  There is nothing like it in the world.  It is Heaven in the highest degree.  It is fully-satisfying, and rich, and wonderful.  Best of all, it continues to grow and get better.  It fills.  It fulfills.  It satisfies.  ...and it lasts forever.  There is nothing in the world to compare with unity.  There is no comfort, no taste, no smell, no excitement, no power, nothing in the world even comes close.  The greatest sex of all is sharing physical unity with the person who holds our heart forever; where two are so intertwined, even death cannot separate us, a true physical expression of how we feel in our hearts.  Having a partner in love is more like a gourmet meal when we are hungry, truly filling the need, and bringing real satisfaction. And most importantly, everyone can get this  satisfaction, if they are willing to make the effort.

Princess Movies

Several days ago, my daughter and I watched a newer version of Alice in Wonderland which has caused me much thought.   The story was re-interpreted in a way that allowed me to see how movies portray gender today.  In this version, Alice is taken to her very posh surprise engagement party where she runs away from her suitor, follows the rabbit down the hole, and slays the Jabberwocky with a sword.  She then returns, tells her suitor that she will not marry him, and becomes a partner in her father's business.

The princess  movies of former times always ended with the princess marrying the prince, and living happily ever after.  A movie wasn't fulfilling unless they ended up together.  The prince is the hero, and rescues the princess in distress.  They fall in love and are together forever.  It just needs to be this way.  These include:
Jasmin
Aurora
Rapunzel
Snow White
Ariel

Now, everything has changed.  The new stories have the princess being the hero and not needing the prince.  She can say no to any man and manage her life on her own.  She doesn't need to be rescued; she can slay the dragon all by herself.  The pattern is much more common now.

Brave is about a young princess, Merida, who is told she needs to choose between the princes of other tribes for political reasons.  She becomes an expert with a bow and wins the competition, and doesn't need any of the whimps that she is told to marry.

In another movie, the army captain is going to make a man out of Mulan, who ends up being the hero and saving all of China from the Huns.

In the movie Frozen the two princesses remain independent.  I asked my 13-year-old daughter about that and she said, "...because Elsa has power."

The difference is striking.  These movies are meant to build the pride of girls, to give them self-esteem.  Girls should learn to be powerful and independent, and not be needy, an essential lesson for anyone.  The ability to care for yourself is a very important part of growing up.  The first big milestone to maturity is independence.

Lesser goals
However, I feel like the message is a lesser one because it stops at the lower level.  Independence is only the first stop on the journey of maturity.  We start as infants, completely dependent on others for everything, but grow up to become independent and able to take care of ourselves.  Then, the next step allows us to grow infinitely more by caring for others, starting with a spouse, and then possibly adding children.  If we tell children about independence, then they may assume that is the goal, and stop there, not moving on to real growth.

The purpose of independence is to be able to care for others.  "No man is an island," we all need one another to learn and grow.  A beehive is a complete organism, an individual bee is not.  Likewise, neither a man nor a woman is a complete organism, it is only both of them together that form a whole being.  The woman needs the man as much as the man needs the woman.

Life is a series of births.  We're born into this world to parents who care for us, feed us, and teach us to take care of ourselves.  We then get married and have children and do the same for them.  However, each step is a start.  After we become independent, we are ready to get married and take on responsibility for another.  This is another birth.  We are infants in the relationship, completely dependent on our spouse.  As we grow and mature, we become more independent, emotionally, allowing us to truly love our spouse.  Love is not dependence, it is a proactive choice that brings inter-dependence.  This goal is the greatest of all human achievements.  Those who learn to love by giving their whole hearts to their spouse can become one, forming a whole person.

While the old princess movies were childish about relationships, the new independent princesses are a step backwards.  The natural progression of growth includes:

Dependence --> Independence --> Dependent love --> Independent Love --> unity

Higher goals
The highest expression of humanity is unity.  Dependence is a need for others to fill your needs.  Independence is powerful because you can fill you own needs.  The next step actually seems backwards, becoming dependent on a spouse, but it is really birth into a new existence.  The two are starting on a journey to unity, becoming complete and whole.  While the old princess stories were about a new birth into love, the new stories are about becoming independent -- the step prior.

While independence is an important part of maturity, it is not an end, but rather a transition.  I just found it interesting that the goals that the new movies give to children are no longer about love and marriage, but rather selfish goals of independence.

On the other hand, learning these lessons can be a good thing.  As long as we teach our children that the goal of life is to become complete and whole with our spouse there is no problem with learning to be strong and independent.  The child will understand that the next step is to get married and start a new life together.  In fact, her ability to be strong and independent may allow them to progress to a more mature love, and eventually to unity.  I guess, just like anything, it depends on the interpretation, and the individual situation.

Love Your Enemies

Ironically, from an eternal perspective one of our purposes here is to take on as much injustice as possible.  The more merciful we are, the more mercy we have.  This is a gift given to us by our enemies.  Our friends can't help us in this way.  When we learn why, we will all love those who hurt us more than those who bless us.

The Law of Justice
Justice is a law even above God.  In order for God to have power, He must be obeyed.  Everything in the Universe obeys Him, doing His will, and honoring Him, which gives Him all power.  The Lord told the Prophet Joseph Smith that "...honor... is my power..." (D&C 29:36)  An essential part of this honor is that God is a just God; His word is honored because He is perfectly just.  Alma the Younger explains this to his son,  "Now the work of justice could not be destroyed; if so, God would cease to be God." (Alma 42:13)

Because of this, we are left with a conundrum, how can the suffering of one pay for the sins of another?  It isn't just that the perpetrator get off scot-free while some one else suffers for wrongdoing.  Alma explains this to His son, "Now there is not any man that can sacrifice his own blood which will atone for the sins of another. Now, if a man murdereth, behold will our law, which is just, take the life of his brother? I say unto you, Nay.  But the law requireth the life of him who hath murdered;" (Alma 34:11-12)  In other words, we cannot pay for the sins of another, it isn't fair.

The Law of Mercy
The law of mercy is the "loophole" in the law of justice.  Everything in the Universe must balance, every debt must be paid, every wrong righted, and and all suffering recompensed.  It works both ways.  We are told about the lower law of justice, where a judge sentences one to suffer for his errors and illegal activities, but don't consider that justice also includes that we must receive recompense for all innocent suffering.  It is the flip-side of the same coin.  We can ask for favors to be paid to us when we suffer for the misdeeds of others innocently.  It is only fair.  It is just, and therefore required of God.

When we do not require payment for the mistakes of another that caused us damage, we are giving mercy.  Like everything else, mercy is on a scale.  At the lower end, we don't exact payment for the innocent mistakes of others who hurt us, and on the top end we do not require payment for those who spitefully use us and persecute us.  The more we innocently suffer, the more we may live in the law of mercy.  If we innocently suffer, and do not seek revenge or payment for the wrongdoings of others who are intending to hurt us, we are living the highest law of justice.  The effect of this is nothing short of miraculous!

Building our account
The scales must be balanced.  God is perfectly just.  He will not let any dirty deed go unpunished.  Nor will He let any good deed go by without a reward.  The best way to obtain mercy is by being in the law of mercy, and that is not accusing or seeking payment for suffering.  If we truly suffer innocently, and allow it without exacting repayment for our suffering, then there is a deficit of justice in our favor.  We can actually, or theoretically, create a debt of justice that is owed to us because we never took payment for suffering.  The greater the deficit, the greater the blessing.  Because of the evil nature of the world, we could, by the end of our lives, build a huge bank account of innocent suffering!

But it isn't true.  Since we are not innocent, we can never have a positive account with God.  If we feel we have suffered more than we have given suffering to others, the final judgment will show us that we have not.  First of all, we are lost and fallen through transgression.  We have no right to return to God, no matter how much we have suffered.  Second, though we may suffer, our suffering ends, it is finite, but when we cause others to suffer, it may be infinite.  A word to another that causes him to suffer may be passed-on for generations.  The ripples we cause in the water cannot be stopped.  Third, most of our suffering is self-inflicted so there can be no debt.  And fourth, we get immediate payment for our all our obedience and good deeds.  "he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?" (Mosiah 2:24)  We can never be positive.

The true purpose for having mercy on others is that it puts us in the law of mercy.  "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." (Matthew 5:7)  Being in the law of mercy allows us to be with Christ, His sons and His daughters, and partake of His mercy.  Those who insist on justice will receive justice, and will find that their accounts are very negative, no matter how much they suffered in the world.  Our only way out is to be merciful to others, "relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save." (2 Nephi 31:19)

Jesus Christ
God uses the law of mercy for all of us to receive salvation no matter what egregious errors we have committed, wrongs we have done, or hurt we have caused.  It all starts with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  He marked the path, and led the way by actually doing what He said, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" (Matthew 5:44)  He innocently suffered humiliation and pain in the flesh, and forgave those who caused it in every way, even offering them salvation from their own suffering.

The next level is even more amazing!  He suffered the pains of a damned soul, though He had never committed any sin.  "Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit — and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink..." (D&C 19:18)  He didn't want to, but did it to be obedient to God.  It was the will of God.  His Father, God, your God and my God, caused His suffering.  He suffered Eternal torment, God's suffering.  Yet He was innocent of any sin, transgression, or wrongdoing.  This creates a huge hole in the law of justice.  It isn't fair that He suffer innocently.  This wrong must be righted.  Jesus Christ created a huge debt with the Father, who must repay every bit to balance the scales.  God cannot allow the punishment to go unrewarded, or He would cease to be God.

Jesus Christ has perfect love.  At the final judgment, He stands at the bar, our advocate before God, the just Judge, and says:  "Father, behold the sufferings and death of him who did no sin, in whom thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of thy Son which was shed, the blood of him whom thou gavest that thyself might be glorified; Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life." (D&C 45:4-5)  His payment includes bringing us with Him into the Kingdom of God to have everlasting life.  This is His love for us.

Only those who are "[His] brethren that believe on [His] name" will take part.  He asks for His reward to be given to those He loves, His friends.   It's not random or arbitrary, all is done according to the law, and must be done perfectly.  Not everyone benefits, only those who repent and take upon themselves His name can take part in His reward.  "For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins." (Matthew 26:28)  When sinners repent of their sins and become lawful, they are enabled to live with God, so they qualify to receive this gift from Christ.  Each must be living the law of mercy by forgiving all offenses.

True followers
The true followers of Christ are seeking for ways to forgive everyone.  The Lord explained, "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.  Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." (Matthew 5:11-12)  There can be no bitterness or rancor towards one who hurts us, nor can we wish them ill or hope that God repays them for their unkind deeds.  Instead, we gratefully acknowledge them, that they are willing to suffer, taking upon themselves our sins, suffering Eternal torment so that we can be saved from the same fate by teaching us to be merciful.  We hope that they repent of their sins through the mercy of the Lord, Jesus Christ so they also may be saved from suffering.  And, we thank the Lord for our enemies, that they allow us to learn how to be merciful.  Our friends could never help us in this manner.  It is our enemies that put us in the law of mercy and allow us to receive mercy from the Lord.  This is why, and how, we love our enemies.