Several days ago, my daughter and I watched a newer version of Alice in Wonderland which has caused me much thought. The story was re-interpreted in a way that allowed me to see how movies portray gender today. In this version, Alice is taken to her very posh surprise engagement party where she runs away from her suitor, follows the rabbit down the hole, and slays the Jabberwocky with a sword. She then returns, tells her suitor that she will not marry him, and becomes a partner in her father's business.
The princess movies of former times always ended with the princess marrying the prince, and living happily ever after. A movie wasn't fulfilling unless they ended up together. The prince is the hero, and rescues the princess in distress. They fall in love and are together forever. It just needs to be this way. These include:
Jasmin
Aurora
Rapunzel
Snow White
Ariel
Now, everything has changed. The new stories have the princess being the hero and not needing the prince. She can say no to any man and manage her life on her own. She doesn't need to be rescued; she can slay the dragon all by herself. The pattern is much more common now.
Brave is about a young princess, Merida, who is told she needs to choose between the princes of other tribes for political reasons. She becomes an expert with a bow and wins the competition, and doesn't need any of the whimps that she is told to marry.
In another movie, the army captain is going to make a man out of Mulan, who ends up being the hero and saving all of China from the Huns.
In the movie Frozen the two princesses remain independent. I asked my 13-year-old daughter about that and she said, "...because Elsa has power."
The difference is striking. These movies are meant to build the pride of girls, to give them self-esteem. Girls should learn to be powerful and independent, and not be needy, an essential lesson for anyone. The ability to care for yourself is a very important part of growing up. The first big milestone to maturity is independence.
Lesser goals
However, I feel like the message is a lesser one because it stops at the lower level. Independence is only the first stop on the journey of maturity. We start as infants, completely dependent on others for everything, but grow up to become independent and able to take care of ourselves. Then, the next step allows us to grow infinitely more by caring for others, starting with a spouse, and then possibly adding children. If we tell children about independence, then they may assume that is the goal, and stop there, not moving on to real growth.
The purpose of independence is to be able to care for others. "No man is an island," we all need one another to learn and grow. A beehive is a complete organism, an individual bee is not. Likewise, neither a man nor a woman is a complete organism, it is only both of them together that form a whole being. The woman needs the man as much as the man needs the woman.
Life is a series of births. We're born into this world to parents who care for us, feed us, and teach us to take care of ourselves. We then get married and have children and do the same for them. However, each step is a start. After we become independent, we are ready to get married and take on responsibility for another. This is another birth. We are infants in the relationship, completely dependent on our spouse. As we grow and mature, we become more independent, emotionally, allowing us to truly love our spouse. Love is not dependence, it is a proactive choice that brings inter-dependence. This goal is the greatest of all human achievements. Those who learn to love by giving their whole hearts to their spouse can become one, forming a whole person.
While the old princess movies were childish about relationships, the new independent princesses are a step backwards. The natural progression of growth includes:
Dependence --> Independence --> Dependent love --> Independent Love --> unity
Higher goals
The highest expression of humanity is unity. Dependence is a need for others to fill your needs. Independence is powerful because you can fill you own needs. The next step actually seems backwards, becoming dependent on a spouse, but it is really birth into a new existence. The two are starting on a journey to unity, becoming complete and whole. While the old princess stories were about a new birth into love, the new stories are about becoming independent -- the step prior.
While independence is an important part of maturity, it is not an end, but rather a transition. I just found it interesting that the goals that the new movies give to children are no longer about love and marriage, but rather selfish goals of independence.
On the other hand, learning these lessons can be a good thing. As long as we teach our children that the goal of life is to become complete and whole with our spouse there is no problem with learning to be strong and independent. The child will understand that the next step is to get married and start a new life together. In fact, her ability to be strong and independent may allow them to progress to a more mature love, and eventually to unity. I guess, just like anything, it depends on the interpretation, and the individual situation.
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