Falling in Love with God

I have often wondered about the terminology used by others in describing their love for God.  Words that are generally used for a lover, an affair, or a young couple are also used for those who love God.

The entire book “Song of Solomon” is about the love affair between God and His people.

A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.
My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of En-gedi.
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green.
Song of Solomon 1:13-16

I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.
Song of Solomon 7:10

There are only two we are commanded to love with all our heart.  The relationship between husband and wife is similar to that of God and His children.

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Matthew 22:37

Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.
D&C 42:22

The songs we sing to God are songs of love and beauty, using the same words as a lover, words like beautiful, love, light, and fair.

"Beautiful Savior"
by Author Unknown, 1677
Translated by Joseph A. Seiss, 1823-1904

Beautiful Savior,
King of Creation,
Son of God and Son of Man!
Truly I'd love Thee,
Truly I'd serve Thee,
Light of my soul, my Joy, my Crown.

Fair are the meadows,
Fair are the woodlands,
Robed in flowers of blooming spring;
Jesus is fairer,
Jesus is purer;
He makes our sorrowing spirit sing.

Fair is the sunshine,
Fair is the moonlight,
Bright the sparkling stars on high;
Jesus shines brighter,
Jesus shines purer,
Than all the angels in the sky. 

Beautiful Savior,
Lord of the nations,
Son of God and Son of Man!
Glory and honor,
Praise, adoration,
Now and forevermore be Thine!

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him.

He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee.
        John 21:17

We sing songs of Love to Him, to stay near, to protect, to comfort, as we would a lover, even using the same language.

Jesus, Lover of My Soul, Hymn 102

Jesus, lover of my soul, Let me to thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, While the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, Till the storm of life is past.
Safe into the haven guide; Oh, receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none; Hangs my helpless soul on thee.
Leave, oh, leave me not alone; Still support and comfort me.
All my turst on thee is stayed; All my help from thee I bring.
Cover my defenseless head With the shadow of thy wing. 

The basis for the love of God is the same as that of our spouse -- need.  We love what we need.  In the world, our connection comes from those we love.  We need a connection.  This is the love of a spouse or family as they fill this need.  Those who say they don’t need anyone are lying, we all need others, we all need to be accepted, loved, and needed.

Young Love
A beautiful girl walks into a room, looks around, and her eyes meet those of a young man.  They are in love.  This love is belief.  He sees her, and and is attracted to her so he believes that she could fill his need for a deep connection from the heart.  She likewise believes that he could fill her needs.  They don’t need to know anything about each other, they only need the belief.  As long as that belief remains, love will remain with it.  However, if they marry, and time passes, and there are breeches of trust and faith, then the belief fades.  One or both no longer believe that the other could fill the deep need inside their heart so love goes away.  Once the belief is gone, the love goes with it, and all too often the couple dissolves, and they go their separate ways.

The foundation for the love we have for God is exactly the same.  We hear the word of God and believe that He can fill our deep need, and we fall in love with Him.  We seek Him, to be with Him.  We desire Him.  We listen to Him, living by every word.  We don’t know Him, we only believe, and that belief gives us love, or a desire for Him.

The same way I need my love, I need my God.

I need thee every hour, In joy or pain. Come quickly and abide, Or life is vain.
I need thee, oh, I need thee; Ev'ry hour I need thee! Oh, bless me now, my Savior; I come to thee!
Hymn 98:3

I need thy presence ev'ry passing hour.
Abide with Me!

Needs
What is this need that I have?  Why do I need?  I need a connection.  I need to be heard.  I need to be understood.  I need to be wanted.  I need acceptance.  I need validation.  I need unconditional approval.  I need recognition.  I need to be loved.  I will love anyone whom I believe could possibly fill my needs.

Falling out of love
Though I believe with all my heart, and love God, as time goes by, I find that my needs are not always filled.  I don’t get what I want in the way I want it.  I’m not filled all the time.  I’m often left with unfulfilled dreams and desires.

Also, there are breeches on my part, I cannot always be faithful so I lose His presence.  I feel like my trust is broken, and the belief fades, I cease to believe that He will fill my needs, or that I can merit His love, and my love fades with it.  Either I lose the belief that He can fill my needs, or that He will.  Either way, I will fall out of love with Him and will start looking elsewhere to fill my needs.  I seek other gods.  The modern world is filled with gods accessible to everyone.  Knowledge, drugs, sex (virtual or real), games, work, money, and so forth.

The reason it’s so easy to fall out of love, or go to another, is because the basis of my love is a selfish belief.  My beloved is nothing more than a vehicle to fill my needs.  As soon as I don’t believe my lover could fill my needs, or if I believe someone else could fill them better, then my love will change.  I can’t be faithful as long as my needs aren’t being met; I’m always going to be searching for another to fill the need.

If I’m unfaithful, the breech always comes from me.  I’m the one who goes off seeking another.  I love God as long has He fills the need, but as soon as I perceive that my needs aren’t filled, I seek another god.  I lose belief in myself because of my weakness and impropriety.  I lose the companionship of God because I don’t remember Him, breaking the covenant I make every week at the altar of the Holy Sacrament of bread and water, body and blood.  I don’t abide the covenant.

Sampson and Delilah is a story of the love affair between God and His people.  For love, the Lord gives his life, willingly, betrayed by His lover.

And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth.
Judges 16:15

Likewise, Hosea was commanded to marry a prostitute in similitude of the children of Israel turning their hearts to other gods.

And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord.
Hosea 1:2

After leaving, and finding myself wandering in the wilderness, I come back to Him.  I still need Him.  I have walked in bitterness, and have found, truly, that only God could fill my needs.  There is no God besides Him.  My broken covenant must return to Him, begging forgiveness, pleading for mercy, because I need Him.  I need Him always.  He will fill my needs, and I will be faithful to Him.  I have sought other gods to fill my needs and found them wanting.  It seems like money, food, sex, drugs, fun, friends, marriage, alcohol, children, homes, stuff, business, service, or some other thing of the world could fill my needs, but they are all temporary.  I put a lot of effort into them, but they don’t fulfill their promise.  Getting my needs for love filled by anyone, or anything, in this world is impossible.  Nothing will work.  Everything is temporary, in terms of minutes, hours, or even years.  My heart is broken.  All those things I set my heart on are useless, dead, gone, fallen.

And behold, I have given you the law and the commandments of my Father, that ye shall believe in me, and that ye shall repent of your sins, and come unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Behold, ye have the commandments before you, and the law is fulfilled.  Therefore come unto me and be ye saved; for verily I say unto you, that except ye shall keep my commandments, which I have commanded you at this time, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.
3 Nephi 12:19-20

I could then fall in love with God, believing that He will fill my needs, and continue on throughout my life with this belief.  If I understand that I will not get everything I want, and that He knows best, I can love Him for the rest of my life based on the promise of fulfillment.  I will keep His commandments so that I can get my needs filled.  This is a “true believer,” however, there is “a more excellent way.”

Pure Love
I can’t love until I am loved, but I can be loved until I love.  This is why the unconditional love of God is so essential to my being.  I’m not whole, or complete without Him so I cannot love with all my heart.  If there is a hole in my heart, it must be filled before I can love.  He fills the hole, allowing me to love so that I can be loved, or so that I can feel loved.  I won’t feel loved with a hole in my heart.  A broken heart.  A lack of connection.  Loss.  Misery.  To be miserable is to be disconnected and alone.  Alone is misery.  Connection is joy.

Immature love is based on need.  The couple who were married based on their belief fell out of love as their hopes were dashed.  They parted, but didn’t have to because there is a higher love.  The other option is to learn true love or charity.  Some would have the couple try to go backwards, relying on their original love, trying to fill each other’s needs, to rekindle the fire of belief that got them started on the journey.  Likewise, we believe that God will fill our needs, causing us to love Him.  Some continue in this love of God, seeking Him to fill their every need, for life.  However, there is “a more excellent way.”  This is called charity.

...yet shew I unto you a more excellent way:

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
1 Corinthians 13

As we see from this, charity is unselfish at the core.  While we fall in love because we believe that our beloved could fill our needs, charity, or pure love, “seeketh not her own.”  If we aren’t seeking fulfillment, then we will not fall in love.  If we have no needs, then we will lose our belief, and love will die.  Immature love cannot exist in the absence of need.  Charity, however, grows and thrives only when there is no need.

The immature love is based on belief, while mature love is based on understanding.  I don’t need to know my lover for her to fill my needs, whether that is a woman, or a god.  When the needs are filled, I seek to know.  Charity is not faith nor hope, but knowledge.  I know because I love, and I love because I know.

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.  For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.  But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
1 Corinthians 13

The first part of Paul’s beautiful poem on charity is what it’s not -- charity isn’t selfish.  The second part describes what charity is -- full knowledge, mature understanding, completeness, and wholeness.  It is knowing God.

Coming to know God
While some remain in love with God, because they believe He will fill their needs, the real way back into love with God is by coming to know Him through perfect love.

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 John 4:8

Note that the same verb "to know" is used to describe the intimate sexual relationship between a husband and wife.

And Adam knew his wife, and she bare unto him sons and daughters, and they began to multiply and to replenish the earth.
     Moses 5:2

A song titled “To Know Me is to Love Me” illustrates the relationship between love and knowledge.  When we know God, we will love Him, not based on His ability to fill our needs, but rather on our ability to serve His needs.  We love Him when we serve Him, and keep His commandments.

If ye love me, keep my commandments.
John 14:15

We are assured that the breech never comes from God.  He is faithful.  He is loving.  He is kind.  He will always fulfill His promises.  He ever remains trustworthy.

Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations;
Deuteronomy 7:9

We can always depend on Him.  I will promise to be obedient to every word.  I love Him because I need Him.  I obey His commandments in the same way He loved God by being obedient.

But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do.
John 14:31

I come to know Him as I do His will.

But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.
1 John 2:5

“Perfected” means “completed.”  The love of God is complete as we are more obedient.  Over time, I become trustworthy.  I no longer go off to worship other gods.  I stay with Him.  I believe more and more.  My faith in Him is increased as my belief in my own ability to be faithful to Him increases.  I come to know Him as I serve Him.

For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?
Mosiah 5:13

As I come to know Him, I begin to love truly, and the cares of the world are lost.  I can receive the Holy Ghost as a constant companion, being comforted and relieving me of all worry, care, or anxiety.

Anxiety
Anxiety is the sensation of being unsure, or lacking stability.  Immature love is unstable because nothing in this world is permanent.  Anyone I love could die tomorrow.  My mom once was offered a puppy that she had fallen in love with, but said, “I’m not going to pay $300 for a dog that could die tomorrow!”  There are no guarantees in life, and the promises we make in love cannot be fulfilled because we have no control over what will happen.  Young couples in love tell each other, “I will always love you!”  or “I will always be there for you!”  but they don’t even know if they’re going to be around tomorrow.  As soon as we realize this truth we become anxious.  We need a more sure foundation.

The sure foundation of charity dispels all anxiety.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:
1 John 4:18

I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear.  And I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love;
Moroni 8:16-17

The word “everlasting” is essential to love as a foundation.  With charity, worry, care, fear, and anxiety are completely removed, and only peace reigns inside me.  I have a foundation on which to build, the foundation of charity, or the pure love of Christ.  The old foundation of need, or immature love, is taken away because I no longer need.  I don’t fear losing this love because it’s Eternal love, it’s a sure foundation.

...it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
Helaman 5:12

Christ is the sure foundation.  I would submit to you that it is charity, the pure love of Christ that forms this foundation and brings stability and peace.

The Holy Ghost
Jesus gives a gift to those who follow Him, by doing as He says, even the gift of peace.

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?
Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.
He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me.
These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you.
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:21-27

The three concepts found in these verses are intricately intertwined:
1. Obedience
2. Love
3. Peace

The three members of the Godhead are all intricately intertwined in these concepts:
1. Father
2. Son
3. Holy Ghost

Those who follow Christ are obedient to everything He says, because His words are not His, but those of the Father.  God gave Him the words that He gives to me.  If I keep His commandments, I’m obeying the will of the Father, and both God the Father and Jesus Christ will abide with me, meaning to stay with me.  I like the way this states, “make our abode with him.”  It’s more than just being near, or coming for an occasional visit, but more like living with.  God the Father and Jesus Christ become my roommates in my little house, my body.  The Father sends the Comforter in the name of Jesus Christ to comfort me, or to fill the need in my heart.  This brings peace.  I’m no longer looking for fulfillment because I’m already filled, I’m connected, I’m loved all the way through my heart and soul.

The sacrament prayers give me the way.

O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.
D&C 20:77,79

As I take upon myself His name, obey His commandments, and remember Him always, then I’m promised to have His Spirit to always be with me.  I follow Him by being obedient to the words given to me through Him by God, the Father.  The gift of charity is given to those who are true followers of Christ.

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.
Moroni 7:47-48

With the Holy Ghost in my heart, I’m comforted, and no longer need the comforts of the world.  I’m pure, clean, and filled with His love.  I don’t need drugs to make me feel better.  I don’t need sex to make a temporary connection.  I don’t need others to validate me.  I don’t need money to buy comforts.  All the things of the world are as dross because I have the pure gold, and I know the difference.  I have the real thing.  I’m filled, complete, and whole.  This isn’t a temporary sensation, but rather a permanent fix.  The hole in my heart is filled such that it’s no longer there.  It’s stable and everlasting.

Once I’m filled by the Holy Ghost, the Comforter, I’m able to truly love others with all my heart.  I can give love, true love.  I can love my wife, my children, and my neighbor with a pure love, untainted by need or want.  I’m truly unselfish, giving from the heart with the only purpose of blessing them.  I love them by giving.  I’m not taking.  I’m not needy.  I have no ulterior motives because I need nothing from them.  I’m already whole and complete, as Jesus has commanded.

Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.
3 Nephi 12:48

Charity is perfect love, being complete and whole.  God is love.  God is perfect because He is whole.  The gift of charity is truly greater than all the gifts we receive in the world.  It is greater than prophecy, tongues, faith to move mountains, or knowledge.  To love God, being filled with His love, is worth all of the sacrifices I must make.  All of my other gods must go.  I must let them go.  I must sacrifice them on the altar, the sacrifice of a broken heart, letting go of everything of the world, and a contrite spirit, willing to live “by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”  (Matthew 4:4)

I need Him.  I know I need Him.  I believe that He can and will fill my needs.  I have faith that He will fill the hole in my heart, and hope that He will grant unto me the gift of charity, the pure love of Christ, when I’m ready.  He is beautiful!  I need Him every hour.  He is the lover of my soul.  He is my all in all.  He is my comfort.  He fills me up.  I will always love Him.  I adore Him.  I worship Him.  Thus, I have fallen in love with God.