Life is not efficient

I have always tried to be efficient. I'm very frugal, even miserly! I have few needs -- my kids call me "Gandhi." I keep things in order. My family was always on time to every function. I even had a specific way of dressing in the morning. In the midst of this miserly, practical and efficient way of living I have come to know, and love, Karyn. Karyn has a lot of children who have a lot of needs, which they often take care of themselves. For example, food is provided in the kitchen, and the children may cook and eat whenever they're hungry. All of these people in the kitchen at random times makes for a very inefficient system. The kitchen gets messy very quickly. Food is left out to spoil. Lots of food is wasted -- there always seems to be one slice of cold toast in the toaster. Nobody can keep up with it. The system is so inefficient!

 

I look around at the world and see that all of life is very inefficient. I had an apricot tree that produced every other year, or so. I love apricots fresh-picked ripe off the tree, but they would all come ripe at the same time. I only got a few of them, the rest went to the ants, and lay rotting on the ground under the tree -- so inefficient! There is waste everywhere! Plants make hundreds or thousands of seeds for every one that will grow into another plant. Animals likewise have multiple offspring for every one that will grow up to reproduce.

Even God is not efficient. Of the billions of offspring who are our siblings, only a handful will reach their full potential and go on to Eternal Life. A third were lost before even coming to Earth, and most of those who are born in this world don't choose the Lord to serve Him. Like the millions of seeds that lay dormant and die they will not have Eternal Life. They don't grow. They don't learn. They don't have offspring. This is not as a sperm where millions are trying to reach the one egg and only one of them will get in while the rest are left out. Nor is it like a seed that randomly falls into a plot of ground with good soil and moisture. Nature is filled with seemingly random events, but every child of God can choose not to live, making humans just as inefficient!

Meeting in the middle

With my new family being so inefficient, I have had to look at the other side of the coin. The product of efficiency is to separate people, because people are inefficient. In order to run at peak efficiency the needs of people around you must be avoided. This isn't just true in a family, it is true in business. I worked for a head and neck surgeon who was able to take care of sixty patients in one day (that's three times what I was doing) She explained to me that the way she was able to do this was to not let them speak, don't ask open-ended questions, only "yes-or-no," and don't allow elaboration. I have since found many doctors who work with people in this manner. One study showed that it took an average of six seconds for a doctor to interrupt a patient. This is how efficiency excludes others.

On the other hand, there are those who connect with people. They aren't very efficient, in fact, like my family, they may be downright wasteful. However, they provide more than "food, clothing, and shelter" for others. They provide things like love, comfort, hope, and belonging. It may be more effective to be inefficient!

Nevertheless, while we are in the world we need to take care of things. Everything in the world is constantly degrading and needs to be kept up. There is work to do for "our daily bread," as Adam was told. If we do nothing, we suffer a lack of the things we need. The more efficient we are, the more we will have to take care of our own needs and those of others. I have often thought that there must be some "happy medium" that allows us to both love and be efficient, or an ideal balance between the two.

In discussing this concept with my brother, Chas, he explained that it isn't "meeting in the middle" that brings balance, but rather having the wisdom to know what to manage efficiently, and what to waste. The bottom-line is that the things of the world need to be run efficiently, but people are to be taken care-of.

In the movie Mary Poppins Mr. Banks is a model of efficiency both at work and at home. His song tells his philosophy:

"A British bank is run with precision;

A British home requires nothing less.

Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools.

Without them, disorder! catastrophe! in short you have a ghastly mess!"

and

"Tuppins, patiently... invested in the... bank."

Into his perfect world comes Mary Poppins to care for the children. Her songs include:

"Find the fun and, snap! the job's a game!

...For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."

and

"Feed the birds, Tuppins a bag."

Two very different philosophies indeed! One is a man who takes care of things, the other is a woman who takes care of people. In the end, Mr. Banks learns the lesson -- That the bank may need to be efficient, but his home is for taking care of his wife and children. In his job he can be exacting with tradition, discipline and rules, but at home he needs to "go fly a kite!"

 

Wisdom

But, even in the middle of business it is important to keep the people and the efficiency separate. Tools, equipment, and money must be efficiently handled, but people must be allowed to be inefficient. For example, a medical practice must keep efficiency subservient to care. Caring for people requires time. Time is money. Thus, it may be more costly to adequately take care of people, but the extra time and expense are worth the investment. Truly helping people rise up, improve, and change requires that it be done on their time, not ours. Teachers and parents understand this implicitly; not all children will be reading books by the age of six. Growth and development for some may come much later and take a long time. But even so, one part of caring for people is to help them to grow in their ability to see the details needed in caring for things.

Resources and property must be cared-for, but in a different way than people. They must be maintained to exacting standards at all times. "The devil is in the details." John D. Rockefeller was one of the early industrialists in the oil business. He was so orderly and efficient that he was able to keep costs down below his competitors and push them out of business. For example, one day while passing by the packaging plant, he saw a worker using 40 welds on the lids of Oil barrels. John D. asked him use 38 instead, but the man didn't think that would work so they settled on 39. Just one weld per barrel saved thousands of dollars every year.

Wisdom requires that we exclude neither the inefficiencies of caring for life, nor the details of caring for things, but rather to keep them in their proper order. The focus must be efficiency for things and caring for people. Putting these right gave Mr. Rockefeller the ability to direct hundreds of millions of dollars for the benefit of millions of people. His legacy continues to this day.

Live, and Give Life

I used to say, "live and let live..."

Only in the past couple of days have I come to realize that I was really saying, "Live and let DIE!"

Throughout my life I have viewed Christianity as a philosophy, or a two-dimensional idea. I fully believed and knew that it was true, but it had the status of an idea, it wasn't real. I had a certain understanding, and allowed others keep their own ideas. This is "tolerance." I would love to share my philosophy with others, and listen to theirs in a pleasant exchange of ideas. In my head, or heart, Christianity was just another philosophy, among many. I believed it to be the truth, and I had many experiences that confirmed this to me, however being Christian remained a concept.

Through a series of experiences in the past several weeks I have come to know that accepting Christ as our Savior isn't just a good idea, it's not just truth, it is life. It is everything. It is the purpose of life. It is the reality of existence. It's really, really important. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of becoming a disciple of Christ. Not only is it the beginning of everything good, it is the end of everything bad.

I have done a grave disservice to my family because I wasn't valiant in the testimony of Jesus Christ. I let my wife and children be on their own, independent. I gave them what I had. I wanted them to go to church and participate in the rituals of my religion, but I left them alone in just accepting whatever they believed. But, in the end, they didn't accept my two-dimensional religion.

Now I feel differently. Because of this the Atonement of Jesus Christ has taken on a real, three-dimensional, aspect. Instead of being like a picture, it is now palpable; it isn't a philosophy, it is life, reality, and truth. Everything else is false. If we don't believe in Jesus Christ and obey the word of God we will not return to Heaven, we will not be happy, we will suffer the most intense and horrific suffering, more than can be imagined by man. There is no way out in Hell, as Dante said, "Abandon hope all who enter here!" This suffering will apply to EACH and EVERY person who doesn't accept Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter how much of a "good" life one has lived, nor does your particular philosophy matter.

There are many philosophies that include the death of the body as the end of consciousness. This is dangerously false. I actually thought it would be fine because I would just cease to exist, I even liked the idea -- but that isn't possible. Existence goes on forever, our only choice is how we are going to continue. "Death" in the Eternal sense means "separation," physical death being the separation of body and spirit, and spiritual death being separation from God. Separation from God is NOT fun. You will go on, the only real choice in life is to go on in misery, or to believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ and be saved from death and suffering.

I now know why the martyrs suffered so much for their testimony of Jesus Christ. They had a testimony of what it really means to be His disciple. They had views of Eternity. They had built their house on The Rock, or Foundation that cannot fall. They knew what I now know -- there is no other way. Whatever we suffer in life is limited and temporary -- nothing, compared to Endless suffering. I would suffer any pain, deprivation, torture, or death for this truth because it is everything good, and there is nothing outside of Him. To deny Him is Eternal torment, which is beyond anything we could suffer in the flesh.

I also know why we even capitalize the pronouns that refer to Him! I used to think it was just convention due out of respect because He is our Creator, but now I know that it's all about Him. He is the Light and Life of the World. He is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end of all that is. Without Him there is no life, no health, no happiness, no joy, no goodness, no pleasure, and no peace. All that is left is misery, suffering, sorrow, loneliness, and pain.

With Him is everything good. Good is whatever leads us to Him, and evil is whatever takes us away. Evil is simply the absence of Christ. Thus, my concept of "live and let live" is really "live and let die." If I allow others to maintain their false philosophies, then they remain without Christ and will only find misery, suffering, and death. Life is in Him, and everything else is death.

Not, "Live and let live."

Not, "Live and let die."

Rather, "live and give life." Share knowledge and wisdom of the reality of God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. Live and give life! An old movie I saw as a child called "Logan's Run" had a big impact on me. They were in a domed city where all their needs were met. They had no families, no work, no struggle for life. Logan heard about the world outside and went to find it. What he found was beauty and infinite variety in nature, he went back to tell the others. He came to the place where those who were programmed to die before they became a burden were going in and yelled to them, "You don't have to die! You can live! LIVE!" This is what I want to shout to all. Everyone who will believe in Jesus Christ can live!

Everyone needs to know this. It's not just another philosophy. We don't just need to convince people it's true. It's the only path to God and life. Any other way only brings suffering and death. "Wherefore, how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah, who layeth down his life according to the flesh, and taketh it again by the power of the Spirit, that he may bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, being the first that should rise." (2 Nephi 2:8)

Freedom to Choose

Under Obama the official religion of the United States of America has changed from Christianity to Humanism, or Existentialism. Most people don't see this, but our laws and government no longer support a belief in God. Our President has gone out into the world advertising this to other countries, "We are not a Christian nation..." I believe it is essential for those who continue to seek God to stand up and be counted. Where does existentialism lead?

Alone

Dostoyevsky said, "If God didn't exist everything would be possible." Jean-Paul Sartre agreed with this, and continued, "Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."
(Jean-Paul Sartre / 1905-1980 / Existentialism and Humanism /1945)

Before both Dostoyevsky and Sartre, Korihor, a Book of Mormon "anti-Christ" outlined the existentialist and humanist philosophy:

"No man can know of anything which is to come." (Alma 30:13)
"Prophecies... are foolish traditions of your fathers." (Alma 30:14)
"Ye cannot know of things which ye do not see." (Alma 30:15)
"A remission of your sins... is the effect of a frenzied mind." (Alma 30:16)
"Every man fared in this life according to the management of the creature, and every man prospered according to his genius, and that every man conquered according to his strength; and whatsoever a man did was no crime." (Alma 30:17)
"When a man was dead, that was the end thereof." (Alma 30:18)
"I do not believe that there is a God; and I say also, that ye do not know that there is a God." (Alma 30:48)

This passage is such a complete and concise treatise on existentialism that it would not be unreasonable to propose that Sartre, Niche, and Dostoyevsky plagiarized the Book of Mormon, taking the philosophy of Korihor as their own.

This reasoning can be distilled into one logical fallacy: "If I don't see, then you can't see."

However, like all counterfeit ideas, there is one part of the Humanist philosophy that is exactly correct: "Every man fared in this life according to the management of the creature.." Meaning that if one is rich, poor, educated or ignorant, it's NOT because some god made them that way, it's because of their own choices. Thus, "Man is condemned to be free..." However, the concept is even deeper than Sartre states. We are all free to choose to follow God, or not, depending on what we believe. And, "...he is responsible for everything he does." Since God gave us freedom, we become responsible, not just in the immediate sense, but in the Eternal as well. Since life is forever, we will be both here and in the hereafter, whatever we choose to be.

Agency

The ability to choose is called "agency." The Lord told Enoch about how we are given agency, "The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency." (Moses 7:32) First we are given knowledge, and then the ability to choose, because without knowledge there is no choice.

The choice we really have, though, is not such mundane things as how we fare in this life, but rather between good and evil, kingdoms, principalities, powers, and dominions. What we perceive is a tiny fraction of what exists. What we understand is as an infant understands the world of his parents. Eternity is huge, it's forever, it is inexplicable and must be experienced, and yet we wallow in our little worlds, knowing, but refusing to believe there is more.

Evil

The bottom-line of evil is "I want." All evil can be defined in terms of selfishness. I saw an interview with a man in prison for killing a woman while trying to steal her car. His reasoning was existential, "I just wanted her car, but she wouldn't give it to me so I had to kill her." He understood his choice to get what he wanted and she was in the way. This is the result of teaching our children "Desert freedom." Those who don't seek God simply aren't willing to give up the mundane, petty, little things they have. It would be like when your son turns sixteen and you offer him a car for his birthday, but the child only wants Legos. He can't see past his toys to have so much more freedom.

These choices we make are so important and we just flitter them away because we think this is freedom. Existentialist freedom is like bringing an infant into the desert and leaving him alone, telling him he is free to do whatever he wants. This is why Sartre said that the existentialist is "alone" and "forlorn." The ultimate consequence of evil, or selfishness, is isolation. When we seek our own selfish desires we are inherently separating ourselves from others. Sartre said, "Hell is other people." Indicating that it's the people around you, trying to get what they want who prevent you from getting what you want. This is hell. The cause is selfishness. The result is loneliness, separation, rejection, contention, and hatred. There is, however, another choice. We are free to choose the forlorn and bitter life of Sartre; or, we can choose Eternal life.

Good

To choose good is to make a connection with the Eternal. Peace, joy, comfort, love, hope, rest, happiness and all that is good is found in the bosom of our Father in Heaven. When we choose to seek Him we will find Him; this is the real choice we make every minute of every day. Some choose less, some more, and everything in between. In a word, the choice we have is between self and God; it is what we have now, or we can give up what we have for more. The path to Heaven must be followed exactly. Even slight deviations lead to other places. We can understand this in a University. Each student may be on a different track, but his path is set. He will not get a diploma unless he completes all of his course work. He cannot fail courses and receive a degree.

The result of good, or selflessness, is connection. We connect with God, our Creator, when we give our hearts to Him. We inherently know this. I was fascinated to watch the Star Trek movie where "V-GER" went through the Universe trying to connect with it's creator so it could upload all the information it had gathered. But after having so much information it was no longer content with just uploading, it wanted to join with and become one with the creator. The creator was NASA which sent out VoyaGER space probes to gather information about our Solar System in the 1970's. The story touched on a truth: true happiness will only come through our connection to our Creator -- God.

To choose good

The choice of good is the opposite of evil. It is to be un-selfish, selfless, giving, loving, kind, considerate, and serving. It is to "bless those who curse you." It is to "help those who spitefully use you." It is to forgive all wrongs done to you. It is to take in evil and give back good. It is to give up your wants in order fill the needs of others. This is so simple, so black-and-white, so night-and-day that even a child can understand. There is no gray area between good and evil. Good is unselfish. It leads to happiness.

The process of connecting with God is to connect with other people. "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar." (1 John 4:20) We begin in our families. Children are taught by righteous parents how to love their siblings and those around them. They are taught to share, to forgive, to be kind, to wait your turn, and so forth. Parents demonstrate by sacrificing themselves, their wants, needs and desires. They give up their desires for sleep, food, and time in order to be with, teach, and love their children. The children know because the both hear the precept and see the example. They are then able to emulate and even build upon what they learn. This is why families are so important to society.

The key to all good is found in the paradox, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 10:39) When taken in the context of good and evil it makes perfect sense. If you choose to seek your own desires, you will lose what you really want that brings life, what makes you whole, complete, and happy -- a connection with God. Instead you will find that "Hell is other people." Whereas if you give up what you want and turn all your dreams, desires, and aspirations to God, following Jesus Christ into the depths of humility, doing only those things commanded by God, doing only His righteous will, you will be able to connect with Him, and all that exists in Eternity. You will have life, power, peace, joy and Eternal happiness. You will, in contrast to evil, find that Heaven is other people!

Our choice

Our society is at a turning point. "And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction..." (Mosiah 29:27) If we choose leaders that will lead us into evil, then we are evil (speaking as a group) and will find our lack of unity causes our downfall. Internal strife will lead to our destruction as a nation. We can choose good. We have the power. We can stand up for love and peace. We can be unselfish -- if we make the choice.

What I know

I was planning a talk that I will be giving to doctors and other health care professionals who meet for lunch every month in Santa Barbara. I'm basically talking about nutritional supplements, which is my business. I don't believe in them; nevertheless, I recommend them daily for specific conditions. I find they work -- sometimes. Why don't I believe in them? Because I think everyone should get their nutrients from their diet, and I don't KNOW for sure in advance what they will do. I realize that I don't know ANYTHING about health, wellness, and those things that I'm supposed to be expert in. Most of what I learned in Medical School was wrong, often doing more harm to health than good. I had to learn everything I know about health on my own -- and I still cannot be sure of anything.

I began to question myself. What do I really know? I'm supposed to know this stuff, but I don't! Is there anything I know? Is there any truth that I could tell these health professionals, or is it all subjective interpretation? The foundation of the knowledge I use is "scientific research studies," which I know are often suspect, and sometimes fraudulent. When it comes to being a doctor, I stand with Socrates: "I only know that I know nothing!"

However, I do believe there is absolute truth. The knowledge I have received through the Holy Ghost is forever, never changing, always true, and true for everyone. In this context, there are a few things I am absolutely sure of.

As I exist, I know:

God Lives.

We are all children of God. Everyone.

We have always existed. No beginning.

Life is forever -- we cannot ever cease to exist. No end.

We are here because we are cast out of Heaven in order to learn and grow. Earth is a temporary stage of our existence.

We chose to come.

Before we came to Earth we were given options for the next stage of life. Our Father told us we would have to leave Heaven in order to get a body and learn good and evil because as yet, we were innocent. In order to come back with our new bodies and intelligence we would need someone among us who would leave willingly, suffer the vicissitudes of life, suffer the depths of hell, and die willingly. Jesus agreed to do this, and be the Son of God, the Savior of the world.

Before we were born, before the Earth was even created, all of God's children were divided into two groups: those who believed Christ would save us, and those who didn't.

 

Those of the children of God who didn't believe rebelled, and refused to come to Earth because they couldn't put their trust in Him.

Only those who were believers are born into a mortal body.

It's all about Him.

I know that Jesus Christ did what He said He would do. It's already done. He suffered willingly for all of us.

I know that He died on the cross, and three days later was resurrected; everyone who was ever born will also be resurrected.

Only by following Him can we be "born again" and return to God, and receive all that God has.

Again, there will be two groups of people at the final judgment day: those who believe in Christ, and those who are judged by their works.

We are choosing our path every day.

Every person will give an accounting to God for his time on the Earth.

We are choosing through each little choice we make every day, what our Eternal path will be.

Those who follow Jesus Christ into the depths of humility, submitting their will to His will have Eternal Life, or continual growth, increase, joy, happiness, love, connection, glory, power, dominion, and so forth.

Those who choose to do what they want, will get exactly that -- and nothing more. They stay where they are forever; there is no increase.

Restoration of truth.

I know that Joseph Smith saw a vision of God and Jesus Christ.

Through him the organization of the Church of Jesus Christ was restored to preach the Gospel and administer the ordinances of salvation.

Only those who believe in Jesus Christ, receive the ordinances, and keep their covenants can enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Book of Mormon is the word of God, as are the Bible, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price.

 

God teaches the world through prophets today, as in all other times.

There is no end to God's word.

Though Socrates never knew absolute truth, this knowledge is now available to all. I have something he didn't -- truth through the gift of the Holy Ghost. These are the things I know. Everything else is still suspect.

Family

I was in the SLC airport yesterday, going to Los Angeles and as I got to the gate there was a family there with three little children. The father was talking to the attendant at the gate, "I'm sorry, sir, we have no stand-by seats..." The plane was boarding and the mother, with a baby in her arms and two little boys, 2 and 4, with their luggage started towards the gangplank. The dad was standing there, watching them go. She looked down at her boys and said, "Say goodbye to daddy!" They both ran back and gave their daddy a big hug, "I love you daddy!" He replied, "I'll see you in Shanghai." As he watched his family go down the ramp.

 

It was my good fortune to have the seat right next to them. The mom really had her hands full with her baby and all the luggage. The boys clinging to her as she tried to get organized. She with the baby and her four-year-old occupied the two seats on the other side of the aisle from me, her two-year-old was right next to me, across the aisle from his mom. She got everyone to buckle-up, telling her little boy, "I need you to be mommy's little helper and keep your belt on until the plane goes up in the air." He said, "Okay mommy." But had a hard time keeping still.

 

Throughout the two-hour trip the little boy went through the entire range of emotion. For a while I kept him busy drawing on my computer. But when the attendant said we were landing soon we had to "turn off all electronic devices..." and buckle again. I took the magazine from the seat pocket and showed him pictures, asking him what they were.. "a dog, another dog, a robot, a cat, a laser..." This worked until we landed in LA. The other passengers thanked me for keeping the child busy so he didn't cry the whole time. I wondered how she was going to manage a 14-hour flight to China!

 

Good, better, best

I was thinking... It is good to get in a plane and take care of yourself, not disturbing anyone. It's better to see a need and help out, but it would have been best to keep the family together. I might have given up my seat to have the father there with the family -- far better than just keeping one child occupied during the shorter leg of their journey.

 

Family

The family is the most important social unit in society. If we protect families, we protect our whole society. Our laws must do all we can to keep a family together. We must support primarily the family and secondarily the individual. We must acknowledge that without a strong family structure our children won't have the character to maintain peace in the world, and destruction is assured. Only in families can each child be taught to love and be unselfish. All other ways of teaching children make them selfish. Selfishness brings all forms of wickedness, evil and destruction. In one sense, all evil can be defined as, "I want." If people are self-centered, they don't consider the rights, wants, and needs of others. Wars, murders, lying, stealing, and hatred in any form is simply selfishness. Unselfishness, or love, must be taught, it isn't automatic. It all begins with the man.

 

Man

A man is the leader of the family in the same way Jesus is the head of the Church. Those in the Church are baptized as a covenant, binding themselves to him, promising to be true to Him always. He gives them commandments, but never forces His righteous will upon them. He loves His people. He nurtures them. He cares for them. He gives to them according to their wants. He sacrificed Himself for them, dying on the cross, suffering Eternal torment so they could have life without suffering. He allows them to stray, calling them back, offering forgiveness for anything and everything. This is the example of what a real man does for his family.

 

A man must be especially attentive to his wife. He must put the needs of his wife above his own. To a man, a woman is millions of times more important than all of his toys, money, houses, lands, businesses, and worldly possessions -- put together! He needs to treat her like she has that kind of value in order to keep her forever. She is neither to do his work, nor appease his hunger. She is to be protected like the heart in a body -- surrounded by the lungs in the middle of the chest with ribs for protection.

 

Woman

A great indicator of the wickedness of our society is the way women are treated. There are two fallacies that are taught to our children in school, at home, and all over the social structure. 1. Women are just like men, and 2. Women are objects like toys to play with, which we addressed above.

 

The truth is, men and women are different (as the French say, "Vive le difference!). We are not to treat a woman like a man. She doesn't go out and work for money, she needs to be in the home. She is the heart of the family. How she feels is how the family goes, just like the old saying from the South, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

 

As a wife, a woman gives herself to her husband. This is all he really wants, her heart. If she doesn't feel loved and cherished, or if she feels unsafe she will hold back. The importance of the covenant of marriage is that even when they don't feel like being married, they remain together because of the promise. This teaches unselfishness -- or love.

 

Those who become mothers nurture the children in love. A mother sacrifices for them. When they have a need she drops everything to care for them. She doesn't regard her own needs higher than theirs; even her most basic needs of eating and sleeping are sidelined in order to care for their needs. This is how she loves her children, and how the children feel loved -- and lovable.

 

Children

The children are the reason. Families exist to nurture children and provide an environment where they can grow and mature. This requires that they experience the best of life. In order to learn something a human being must experience it. We really never understand anything we don't actually experience. They must feel loved, be loved, and see their parents love each other. They must experience the vicissitudes of life in a safe environment where they can be comforted. These things cannot be done in day-care, classrooms, or any other way devised to raise children. Children without a loving family don't mature in ways that are essential to happiness. They may still grow up later, but only with great difficulty.

 

In one sense, the family raises the children to be independent. The beginning stage of maturity is the ability to take care of ones self. From there, some really advanced families help the children to be interdependent, bringing independent people together to do things none of them could do alone. This, of course, requires love, trust and unselfishness. It is upon this interdependence that whole societies flourish because of synergy: 1+1=10. Two people working together can do ten times what they collectively do as independent entities. Independent people only make a functional society.

 

Society

Society goes backwards when it begins to cater to individuals because they foster dependence. The lowest form of existence is dependence, one step up is independence, and the highest is interdependence. You can see this progression in the normal growth of children. As society values independence we lose the interdependence that makes us strong, free, and loving. I see our political system tearing down this structure on both sides. The "Republicans" are yelling for independence, and the "Democrats" are crying for dependence. Both are going backwards. There are very few voices for love and interdependence.

 

When children are taught to love through family relationships, they grow up to act as leavening in their sphere of influence. These are the "movers and shakers" that raise everyone around them to new heights. These trustworthy individuals use the talents of those around them to form organizations and businesses that succeed in amazing ways. With discernment they understand how each person can contribute, and where they need help. They bring people together in such a way that the talents of one will offset the weaknesses of another. They show and teach love and trust. Without the ability to get outside of themselves people don't become good leaders. Excellence in leadership is really a gift of love.

 

We need good families now more than ever. Our own government is pulling down the social fabric that binds families, leading to bondage and destruction. We need leaders who love, who do not seek their own, who give from their hearts, who bring others together to fight this insidious evil. The vicious cycle has begun: the more families are broken, the more society tears them down. Strong and loving leaders can hold back this downward spiral, but only as more people turn to the Lord, Jesus Christ, will it be reversed.

 

The Lord

Charity is the pure love of Christ. No matter what your family upbringing, you can have a Father who loves you, and will teach you to love. As people turn to Him, they become arrows in His quiver. They wield the sword of truth to defend virtue. They are the leavening that raises their whole society. They receive from the Holy Spirit the gifts that they need to do His work. He is the master Teacher and the ultimate Leader. He is the true and loving Father of all who will give His children all they need. Those who are willing to follow Him can be great fathers and mothers, raising children who become great leaders. Thus, they act as leavening to raise up a whole nation.

 

Don't expect others to effect these changes. It requires the the greatest efforts of all those who are willing. As David told his son Solomon, "Know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee." (1 Chronicles 28:9) Turn to God in prayer. Ask Him how you can serve Him, and then do as he tells you. Who knows, you, or one of those you teach, may become a great leader that saves a whole generation!

The Gift

I juggle two families with 13 children, two jobs, one of which I have to run, aside from 35 nursing home patients and thousands of other patients that all want my attention from time to time, sometimes emergently. I am inundated every day with decisions to do things that require me to leave other things undone. Some are very hard choices. I need help with all these decisions!

Life goes on forever, and each of us is on a different road because of the choices we make. We cannot know anything we haven't yet experienced, and since our decisions are mostly new, we don't know were they will take us. Moreover, the God who gave us life also gave us the freedom to choose. Without freedom there is no life, all becomes the same lifeless lump. Life requires completely independent individuals making unconstrained decisions of their own free will and choice.

Choice

As I make these choices, I find expediency to be the most common motivator. Studies on the spending habits of people indicate that they don't weigh the risks and benefits of a decision, but rather decide on feelings. Con-men rely on this fact, working on the feelings of unsuspecting individuals to separate them from their money. In my profession I have seen so many unnecessary and damaging surgeries, medications, chemotherapy given under the guise of: "if you don't do what I say, you'll die!" It's a purely emotional decision.

We are making decisions every day by the hundreds, or thousands! How we spend our time, what we focus on, what we do from minute to minute determines our life. We cannot blame others for choices we make. Circumstances may push us in certain directions, and there are plenty of events that happen to us over which we have no control, but we always have choices.

The reason we use our feelings to make daily decisions is because we really don't know where they lead. We are limited by the fourth dimension, time, so we can only see the here-and-now, not the end of any road. We may have a vague understanding that a path leads in a certain direction, but we cannot be sure.

Wrong, is right.

The Scriptures are replete with stories of those who did the right thing, though it seems wrong. Lot's daughters got their father drunk and raped him. Joshua wiped-out whole cities, killing every man, woman, and child -- even the animals! Hosea married a prostitute who was chronically unfaithful to him. Nephi cut off Laban's head when he was drunk, and stole his records. Even Jesus was accused of being a drunk, blasphemy, and breaking the Sabbath. Are there any commandments left unbroken? Yet, all of these were the will of God.

Right, is wrong.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Those things that seem good to us often lead us to hell. Satan, the father of lies, said he would make everyone equal and bring everyone back to Heaven such that none would be lost. He would do this by taking away our ability to choose. This plan seemed so right that a third of our Father's children agreed with him and fought against Jesus to try to implement it. Today we fight the same battle every day. People look around and see inequality and demand "social justice" or equal outcomes. They promise, as Lucifer, equality for all such that none would be lost. Robin Hood seems so right, but is the devil himself!

The Holy Ghost

Since we are extremely limited in our knowledge, and we have to be free to choose, it would seem we need a helper to guide every decision we make. It would have to be a mentor that we choose to follow, not one that imposes in any way, because that would take away our freedom. This mentor would also have to know where our decisions would take us.

The Holy Ghost is an essential feature of being on the path to Eternal Life. Without this gift, we cannot know we are on the right path at any time. We don't know what to do at any fork in the road because we cannot see past the decision itself. On the other hand, God already knows the end of every path and every decision: "My name is Jehovah, and I know the end from the beginning." (Abraham 2:8) It would totally change everything to have a guide who knows exactly what will happen with every choice you make.

Gift development

As with any gift we are given in mortality the Gift of the Holy Ghost must be developed over time through patient, constant effort. Training, preparation, and practice, practice, practice are needed to bring out any gift. Even a "natural" in any sport must practice for about ten years before arriving at the top of his game. Tony Schwartz, in his book, The Power of Full Engagement, describes the "ten-year rule:" it takes four hours per day, every day, of focused practice for ten years to be the best at anything. This is true of artists, musicians, businessmen, and athletes. I suspect it would take a similar effort to develop the Gift of the Holy Ghost.

Before we can have this Guide we need to prepare ourselves to receive Him. We first put our trust in Jesus Christ and believe that He can change us. Next we have to repent of our sins and be baptized to make a covenant with God so we can have a remission of sins "for he dwelleth not in unholy temples." (Mosiah 2:37) Next, we have hands laid on our heads by those who have the authority and are commanded to "receive the Holy Ghost."

After going through the steps of preparation we still need to seek the Gift, or practice. We can start by leaving where we are comfortable and going to Him. The Holy Spirit speaks in a still, small voice and will not be heard over the din of the world. Seeking His help through prayer and quiet meditation is essential. Also, when we understand that He works by recalling to our remembrance truths we have already learned, we would know that we have to seek truth in order to be inspired. Feasting on the words of Christ, the Teacher of all truth, becomes a foundation because, "the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do." (2 Nephi 32:3)

Each week as we take the Sacrament we renew our covenant to "always remember Him." As we remember Jesus Christ in our daily decision-making the Holy Ghost helps us to understand the decisions that He made in mortality that brought Him back to the Father. He is the only One to ever do this, and thus, we are able to "follow Him." In turn, we receive a remission of sins so the Holy Spirit can dwell with us always.

Without the constant guidance of the Holy Ghost there is no way to stay on the path to Eternal Life. However, when we take Him as our guide in every decision we can always be on the road to happiness. We may not see the end of the road, but we trust that He does, and follow His direction.

What an awesome gift! We are not left alone to wallow in fear! We don't have to guess at every decision! This is incredible! "I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me! Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me!..." When Joseph Smith Jr. was asked what the difference between the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and other churches was he replied, "The gift of the Holy Ghost." I think EVERYONE should have this gift.

The End of Forever

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

                                              Robert Frost

"Eschatology" is the study of the end -- sometimes the end of everything, sometimes the end of an era that then becomes a beginning for a new age. Many pour over the Revelation of John in order to understand the Christian eschatology of what will happen in the end -- the end of this era, or the beginning of the "millennium," and then the end of the world, which is the beginning of "eternity." There is no end, only a change to another form.  Christian eschatology is also about the end of each of us as individuals.

Because there is no end, and "way leads on to way" it seems to me that every decision we make is forever. There is no way to go back, and there is no end. Each choice leads down a different road that goes on forever. When we decide to follow it we never come back, and we can't stop. 

No re-do's
As a young single man I dated many girls because I was looking to get married. One day as I was praying the Spirit of God whispered, "I want you to promise me that you will only marry in the Temple for Eternity." Without hesitation or reservation I made that promise. Soon thereafter I met a girl who wasn't a member of the Church, nor did she want to be. However, as we got to know each other she decided to come to church, took the missionary discussions, and was baptized. We began talking about marriage, but she had to be a member for a year before we could go to the temple. Out of expediency I broke my promise to the Lord, and we were married outside of the Temple.

That decision turned-out to make things hard for me. I had chosen an uphill, rocky road. I wanted to go back and do it over, to start afresh, to re-think my position on expediency. However, I could never go back; what's done is done and cannot be revoked.

No end
The other side of this is that there is no end to any of the roads, only forks. There is no way to stop because time marches on. Not choosing is also a choice because you automatically go on as if you are floating in a stream -- not swimming sends you downstream.

Some of those who refuse to swim are called "atheists." The foundation of atheist philosophy is their eschatology: death is the end, which changes everything -- life is to be enjoyed, pain and suffering eliminated, and death averted at all costs. The problem is: it isn't true. I am personally aware of the continuation of life beyond the grave, and that the choices we are making now will determine how we live hereafter; the death of the body is only a fork in the road. Life is forever.

Choices are forever

Thus, every single little choice we make now is eternal in more than one way. My choice to marry outside the Temple changes both my eternity and that of my family. My descendents are in a different place because of my choice. It affects my children, grandchildren and descendents down through the ages -- ad infinitum.

But the "big choices" such as marriage and children aren't the only eternal ones; every little choice leads in a direction that cannot be done over again. We are constantly inundated by choices. For example, this week I decided to stay home and work while my family goes to Utah. What far-reaching consequences this may have down the road is unknown to me. If I had chosen the opposite it would have put me on a different road. 

Being blind to eternity, I don't really know where all of my choices will lead me. Out of ignorance I may do things that lead to suffering down the road. Because I cannot fully understand the consequences of my decisions, I think there must be a way to change my path.

Christian eschatology

For individuals, the essence of Christianity is repentance, or change. Whether through ignorance or pride we all make choices that lead to destruction so our Lord provides a way, the only way, we can actually change. We are given the gift of repentance because Jesus Christ took care of the consequences for all of our bad choices. He can take us off the path that we are on that leads to misery, and put us on a path of life! 

One day after a great Family Home Evening we were going to bed and my wife casually said, "I filed for divorce." I would have thought she was kidding, but she doesn't joke around. We had had no fights or problems so I was very surprised. One-by-one all the dominoes fell, leaving me with nothing. I lost my wife, my children, the house I had built with my bare hands, my business. Then, my best friend died of cancer. I felt that my road came to an end. 

Then, through a series of strange events, I married Karyn, got nine more children, a home, a new business. My path is different. I'm no longer "unequally yoked." I'm now with people who also want to be on the path to Eternal Life. I have love, and I am loved. 

God has the power to put us on the straight and narrow path that leads to life as though we had made all the right choices, but He will never force us onto a road we don't want. The only requirement is to believe in Him and desire to change. When we ask for His help and change our ways we are forgiven of our bad choices and the final end of our existence is to live forever: Immortality and Eternal Life.

Thus, "The Road Not Taken" is always available to us through our willingness to: 1) believe that Jesus Christ can change us, 2) repent of our bad choices (confess and forsake them), 3) be baptized, and 4) receive the Holy Ghost, "...And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life..." (2 Nephi 31:18) Your end can be good in spite of choosing "the one less traveled by." I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Christian eschatology!!!