I have a vivid memory of watching an old black-and-white movie where a man gets slapped in the face by a very pretty woman -- and just stands there. He doesn't hit her back, threaten, or even grimace. She yells at him and slaps him again, but he just takes it.
Times really have changed. We are now taught in society that there is no difference between the sexes. We advertise women as "Rosie the Riveter" and men as "Mr. Mom." This, however, is a fantasy because there really is a double standard. What's good for the goose is NOT good for the gander. There is a difference between the sexes, in spite of what we are taught in the world. A man is NOT a woman, and a woman is NOT a man. They are different in every way. They are not physically, emotionally, spiritually or otherwise the same. There are ways you act around men that you never do around a lady. There are things you may say around men that you never say around a lady.
A woman can tell a man how she feels, if she hates or loves. She can complain, slap a man physically or emotionally, drive a knife into his heart, so to speak, but not only can a man not do the same back to her, he cannot even threaten, be angry or even pout. In order to be a man, he must take the pain and not give it back, or even acknowledge it. He doesn't hurt her even to protect his life. He just has to take it all in -- and gives back love. That's how she knows he loves her.
A real man
A real man doesn't run away from pain. He doesn't flinch, whine, complain, or otherwise express the pain he feels. He never lashes-out at others when he is hurt, uncomfortable, or otherwise suffering. Alma and Amulek were real men. They were imprisoned for preaching the word of God and the leaders of the city were very cruel. They would come every day and take turns hitting Alma and Amulek, "And thus they did mock them for many days. And they did withhold food from them that they might hunger, and water that they might thirst; and they also did take from them their clothes that they were naked; and thus they were bound with strong cords, and confined in prison." (Alma 14:22) However, in spite of their unjust suffering they didn't complain or express any anger or hatred. When the time came to leave, the Lord gave them strength to walk out and they didn't ever lash-out at their captors -- they just went on with their work.
A real man doesn't run away from pain. He doesn't flinch, whine, complain, or otherwise express the pain he feels. He never lashes-out at others when he is hurt, uncomfortable, or otherwise suffering. Alma and Amulek were real men. They were imprisoned for preaching the word of God and the leaders of the city were very cruel. They would come every day and take turns hitting Alma and Amulek, "And thus they did mock them for many days. And they did withhold food from them that they might hunger, and water that they might thirst; and they also did take from them their clothes that they were naked; and thus they were bound with strong cords, and confined in prison." (Alma 14:22) However, in spite of their unjust suffering they didn't complain or express any anger or hatred. When the time came to leave, the Lord gave them strength to walk out and they didn't ever lash-out at their captors -- they just went on with their work.
A great example of how a man is to treat a woman is found in the prophet Lehi as he was traveling in the wilderness with his family. He sent his sons back to Jerusalem to get the family records, and they didn't return for a longer time than expected. His wife started complaining to him, "Behold thou hast led us forth from the land of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness." (1 Nephi 5:2) What is her complaint? Essentially it's: "You are a dreamer, you killed our sons and led us out here to die!" Lehi didn't get angry at her, he just accepted the complaint and loved her, saying, "I know that I am a visionary man..." and explained that the Lord would bring back their sons. Nephi comments on his father's actions toward his mother, "And after this manner of language did my father, Lehi, comfort my mother, Sariah, concerning us..." (1 Nephi 5:6) On the other hand, years later, when Lehi was complaining to the Lord that there was no food in the camp, "the voice of the Lord came unto my father; and he was truly chastened because of his murmuring against the Lord, insomuch that he was brought down into the depths of sorrow." (1 Nephi 16:25) A real man takes all the abuse anyone can give, but returns no animosity or complaint.
A lady
A lady is not to be exposed to the baser things of life. She is not required to slay the dragons. She shouldn't be treated in the same way a man would in the same circumstances. She is to be protected and nurtured, loved and cherished. In my daughters grade-school they teach otherwise. They teach that a woman can do anything, be anything, and compete the same as a man. They are specifically told there is no difference between a man and a woman. The media portrays 110-pound model with perfect hair, make-up, and large breasts fighting against three 200-pound men and laying them out. Only over the past few decades as our society crumbles around us we are taught that a woman is to "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you're a man." This is a lie. It's not true. It is one sign of a fallen civilization.
A lady is not to be exposed to the baser things of life. She is not required to slay the dragons. She shouldn't be treated in the same way a man would in the same circumstances. She is to be protected and nurtured, loved and cherished. In my daughters grade-school they teach otherwise. They teach that a woman can do anything, be anything, and compete the same as a man. They are specifically told there is no difference between a man and a woman. The media portrays 110-pound model with perfect hair, make-up, and large breasts fighting against three 200-pound men and laying them out. Only over the past few decades as our society crumbles around us we are taught that a woman is to "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you're a man." This is a lie. It's not true. It is one sign of a fallen civilization.
Society must teach that women are different, and are to be held in high regard. A man needs to be willing to sacrifice everything, even his life, for her. He is to keep her safe and provide for her. He is to bear the brunt of all the evils of the world, slay all the dragons, and fight the battles in the world. She doesn't carry the same burden. She needs to be protected and nurtured, becoming a lady in the full sense of the word. The Nephite civilization understood this. When the men were called out to battle to fight against their enemies to protect their wives, they went with courage in hand-to-hand combat, knowing they would be at least wounded, and maybe killed. Only in the end did they arm their women, their last stand before being completely annihilated.
A lady needs to be nurtured, loved and cared-for. She may have mood-swings that cause pain. She may be sweet and gentle, or mean and ugly. She is still a lady and needs to be respected as such, no matter what her station in life. In "Don Quixote de La Mancha" Don Quixote thought himself a lord and his peasant neighbor, Dulcinea, a lady. He spoke to her like a lady and treated her in a most formal and respectful manner. She, over time, began to think of herself in this way and became a lady. To be a lady, a woman needs to be treated like one.
The Lord
The perfect example is Jesus Christ. I think the Apostle Paul understood this concept when he told the Ephesians, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." (Ephesians 5:25) Jesus Christ loved the Church so much that He gave Himself a ransom for the sins of all those who would come to Him and ask forgiveness. He takes whatever abuse the people give out and humbly submits to the will of the Father. He doesn't lash-out, cry-out, run away, rebel, or even object. He just takes it. Those of the Church continually make mistakes, using His name in vain, and committing all sorts of sins, but he just takes it, and gives back only love. He didn't even reprimand the woman taken in adultery, though it is the "most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost." (Alma 39:5) He just loved her and invited her to "go and sin no more." The prodigal son took his inheritance and wasted it, but was welcomed back with open arms and a big party. Jesus has patience, longsuffering, gentleness, meekness, love, charity, grace, and forgiveness. He is the embodiment of all of these.
This is the manner that men should treat women. Paradoxically, to be a humble servant to a lady is a great honor. Indeed, it is the most important thing in the world because it teaches us to be like Christ. There really is a double-standard. In truth, men and women are different, but as the French say, "VIVE LE DIFFERENCE!"
This is one of the most important treatments of the subject I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteIt should be mandatory reading for all men who think they're in love enough to take on marriage, especially in our modern world, where "being a man" has lost its meaning.