It's NOT automatic

When we confess Christ we are saved at that moment, and forever. I have always thought it was automatic. In fact, I have assumed that everything I think is automatic just because I want it to be. I wanted to get married and live happily ever after so I thought if my wife loved me, then I would automatically love her. I thought getting baptized would automatically make me clean. I thought the ordinances of the Priesthood would automatically make me a righteous man. I thought being sealed in the temple to my wife would automatically bring us both exaltation in the kingdom of Heaven.

I was wrong. Dead wrong. "But it is mockery before God... putting trust in dead works." (Moroni 8:23) I see many who think as I did, who believe that they are magically changed by wanting something to be true. There are two kinds of "dead works:" 1. Those things done without sincerity, and 2. Those things that we neglect to fulfill. Paradoxically, every gift from God is free, and yet requires the most diligent labor. For example, performing an ordinance doesn't save, rather by obedience to it we come to know, and love, God. 

Ordinances

The ordinances of the priesthood are given to guide us to God. We come to know Him as we are obedient, showing that we love Him with all our heart, might, mind and strength. The rites, rituals, and ordinances of the priesthood don't bring us, or cause us, to know God by themselves. It is really the action word of "obedience" to them that helps us to understand the Lord and come to know Him intimately. The rulers of the Jews during the time of Jesus thought they had the rights to the priesthood and were therefore chosen of God automatically, based on the works of their father, Abraham. However, Jesus reprimanded them saying, "If ye were Abraham's children, ye would do the works of Abraham." (John 8:39)

Peter thought it was important to perform the ordinances of the Gospel, which he explained during his speech at the Pentecost. Those who heard the word of God had faith in Christ, and asked what they should do. "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." (Acts 2:38) However, I no longer think it's automatic.

Baptism

The first ordinance of salvation is baptism, the door by which we enter into the Kingdom of God -- and the Kingdom of Heaven. It is symbolic in many ways as a re-birth, and a washing. I was always told, and verily believe that it is required for a remission of sins. But I have also heard at more than one ceremony that the people just baptized are the "cleanest people in the room," alluding to the idea that being immersed in water can clean one of his sins. This, however, isn't true. The actual cleansing is done by the Holy Ghost. Alma explains that the Holy Prophets were "sanctified, and their garments were washed white through the blood of the Lamb... being sanctified by the Holy Ghost, having their garments made white, being pure and spotless before God..." (Alma 13:11-12). It's the Holy Ghost that makes us clean, after we have repented of all our sins.

The ordinance of baptism is performed as a symbol of that effort. Perhaps it could be said that if we are baptized before we have completely repented of all our sins then the ordinance is performed prematurely. In the ancient Americas, those who followed Christ "were not baptized save they brought forth fruit meet that they were worthy of it. Neither did they receive any unto baptism save they came forth with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and witnessed unto the church that they truly repented of all their sins." (Moroni 6:1-2) Now however, we baptize for admission into the Church, with an expectation that the acolyte will follow-through with the injunction to repent, eventually being cleansed of all sin, thus fulfilling the covenant made in the baptism ordinance. It often requires a great deal of time and effort.

Love

Love has been written about so much, and yet remains a mystery. Nevertheless there is a definite principle of love that can be learned and practiced. It's NOT automatic. We don't automatically love our parents, friends, siblings, spouses, children or anyone. There is work to be done that brings love in its wake. The feeling of love isn't controlled directly, but rather nurtured over time and developed -- the feeling follows the work.

The work of love is constant and consuming. It requires your entire heart: all your thoughts, words, and deeds must be employed. Parents do nothing without thinking about their children. A loving husband will do nothing without considering his wife. The greater the love, the more the thoughts and actions take the other into account.

Thoughts must be changed in order to modify feelings. When we have negative thoughts about our beloved, we don't entertain them, we make them leave by changing them for something positive.

Our words must reflect words of love at all times. We don't use sarcasm, irony, or especially anger. Just one angry word can negate weeks, months, or even years of being positive. Moreover, love requires communication; we would maintain constant contact with those we love.

Loving actions reinforce our feelings for our loved-one, who will know they are loved because of our thoughtful actions. Taking the time to discover the love languages of our beloved and use them regularly and liberally. It is the common lot of men to assume that those things that make them feel loved would obviously make everyone else feel the same. Not true. We must get outside of ourselves; It takes effort.

Love doesn't happen automatically.

Marriage

I assumed that if I was married, and that I didn't have any of the "unpardonable" sins, adultery, addictions, and abuse, that I would stay married forever. I thought things would just work out -- automatically. I read the books on marriage and checked all the boxes, assuming everything was going fine and I didn't need to do anything else. It didn't work. This has caused me to reflect upon my assumptions and I discovered my navet. Just like love, a great marriage doesn't happen without a great deal of effort. Marriage is a special case of love because it requires each to be on a more intimate level, requiring complete humility. 

Humility is knowing the truth about yourself, who you are and where you stand in the Universe. If I am humble and honest I can be trusted. Trust is earned over time through consistent effort and experience. This level of intimacy is not taken, but only given. We can only give what we possess so each must be fully in possession of himself, or herself. 

The mistake made in marriage is assuming that your spouse will automatically fill your wants, needs, or pre-conceived ideas. It's selfish. Couples generally find it hard to change so they end up trying to fix each other. I went to marriage counseling and read books on marriage to learn how to fix my wife. This is why a happy marriage relationship is not automatic. It takes work.

Work

The work of marriage is to become a partner that is humble and trustworthy. This only happens through a change of heart that comes from God to those who repent, are baptized, and receive the Holy Ghost. Thus, the labor of life is all interconnected. The work of one is the work of the other. It starts with a desire to come to know God. The steps on the path to salvation are shown in the rituals and ordinances, explained in the Scriptures, and made effective by obedience. Once we have an ordinance it becomes incumbent upon us to fulfill it by learning, by faith, by obedience, or, in other words, by doing the work of that rite. The power of God is manifest in our lives not by performing a ritual, but by being obedient -- keeping our promises we make to God in the ordinance. 

Jesus summed it up: "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15) The covenants that we promise to abide are the commandments of God.

It isn't automatic... it's WORK. The Apostle James tells us, "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." (James 2:17) Dead works are those we do without "real intent," such as when we fail to fulfill our covenants. The ordinances and covenants tell us what to do, and as we do them we receive the reward of our labors. We show our faith in Christ through doing the work of fulfilling the covenants we make to Him. It is the labor of love; it is the labor of life. It's not automatic.