A Changed Heart

I received a call one day from Joe, "Scott, you need to do RET, it's SO good! It really works!" I put him off with "Yeah, yeah, I'll have to do that someday." He went on to tell me how much it had helped him. In this treatment the person blinks rapidly as he goes back to revisit childhood moments. He was very persistent, and I was curious so I found a therapist nearby and she came to my house. I tried one treatment, but couldn't continue. Later I went to see Joe and went to his therapist -- to no avail -- it didn't seem to make any difference for me. Over time, I could see that while he said he felt different, there was no real change in him. His heart, his desires, were still the same, there was no change.

The heart, as used in the Scriptures, represents the desires that we have, or the things we really want or truly seek. We are born with conflict in our hearts, every one of us, which means we can be enticed by opposites. We cannot pursue anything with our whole heart until we let go of part. That part we let go of causes us to mourn the loss and is referred to as the broken heart. Once we experience a broken heart, we can put our whole heart and soul into one direction to pursue a course of righteousness.

Before this happens, however, we are constantly flagged by our weaknesses and insecurities. We have guilt because we know our hearts are not right. We want to do good, but are driven to do things we know are wrong. We also have shame. We try to hide our guilt and shame. We resolve to be better, but fall back easily into patterns of selfishness because of the desires of our hearts. This causes us to seek for help, like Joe.

PsYchObaBBLe

RET, Psychology, talk therapy, biofeedback, CBT, psychiatry, EFT, and all other therapies have a central purpose: to effect a change of heart. People have problems, unfilled needs, addictions, depression, anxiety, and other problems of the feelings, mind, and psyche that come from the conflict in their hearts. We fight with behaviors that are self-defeating, self-destructive, and need to be changed. People go to all sorts of therapy in order to find a way to understand their problems and make changes.

Most of the self-help books and therapies revolve around changing the symptoms of the disease. They almost always conclude that people would not be depressed or anxious if they could just let go of their shame and guilt. They assume that these come from childhood, that our parents foisted the guilt and shame on us by telling us what is right and wrong so we can spend years in therapy "undoing" our moral compass. Religion is also the enemy for bringing shame through moral teachings. If there is no wrong, if our motives are pure, if our desires are OK -- Hey, "I'm OK, You're OK." We don't have to have feelings or right and wrong, we just are what we are and need to "get over it." It's OK to have weaknesses, we are only human, we are born that way and cannot change. It's written in our genes -- the map of our body carries our desires, and there's no way to change the physical structure of our DNA. We just have to accept ourselves, our whole selves, warts and all, as good. It's all good. Your child is good, not bad like your parents told you. You are good, inherently and absolutely. Your desires aren't bad, you are mistaken, it is the feelings of guilt and shame that are bad.

Religion

Others turn away from the psycho spin-doctors and seek a change of heart through religion. Religion, rather than seeking a change of heart, mostly seeks to justify the heart. Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Judaism, and so forth are looking to some god to to take away their guilt and shame. They work in different ways, but have the same ultimate goal: if I am faithful to the tenets, precepts, ministrations, ordinances, observances, laws, and dictates of my religion then I am clean, whole, and free of guilt and shame -- the performances make me worthy.

Some look to a "higher power" to change them, which may include religions and all of the 12-step programs. These know they need to change because their hearts desire something that is destroying their lives. Most have tried all the other ways, and found them woefully inadequate so they end up seeking change through giving their lives over to their own image of a god. They end up changing one addiction for another, becoming fanatical.

One of the most prevalent religions is "New Age" which is not an organized group, but rather the religion of "whatever." It includes a conglomeration of all the religions with psych therapies. The essence of this is the same as many ancient religions which is that there are no specifications to becoming one with God. There are no laws. There is no inherent right and wrong, rather we are gods. We determine what is right and wrong. We are inherently worthy because we are part of nature, or God. You can follow your heart because it is inherently right and good. You have the power to make your dreams come true! Your desires are good!

Truth

Reality, however, is that we are intrinsically guilty for a reason. We are estranged from our Father in Heaven because of transgression, and we know it deep inside. We know we aren't worthy to be in His presence, we aren't worthy of His love, so we feel guilt and shame. Our parents on Earth only represent God to us. We are really born in sin. We all know it. The feeling is universal -- every individual in every culture feels it, creating the need for religion and therapy. King Benjamin said it so well: "The natural man is an enemy to God..." (Mosiah 3:19)

Without this basic fact we entirely lose the purpose of our lives on Earth. We are here to experience the "downside" of life. Contrast is essential to all life in the whole Universe. We can only understand hot in relation to cold, light in relation to darkness, and good in relation to evil. Our evil natures allow us to know good. The guilt, shame, and insecurity we feel help us to realize the need to change. Everyone must change. There is only one way. We must choose light instead of darkness, or good instead of evil. Both are in our hearts, but we must choose one. Psychobabble and religion tell us that we should turn off the light, then we won't see our sin and will have no shame. Shutting down the evil of the heart is like turning off the light -- we must live in darkness, having no heart at all!

If we want to live with our hearts we need to be healed. The only way to actually remove the evil in our hearts and leave the good is through Christ. The Lord, Jesus Christ, took upon Himself the sins and transgressions of all mankind. He has the ability to make us clean and whole. He can bring a mighty change of heart. There is no other way. Every other way is only a cover-up, denying truth, or shutting down the heart. Christ is the hope of all mankind because it is only through Him that we are able to actually receive forgiveness, getting rid of guilt and shame entirely. We can be washed clean in His blood, and have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. He can literally change our hearts, which precludes the need for therapy and religion. It is what everyone seeks. It is what everyone needs. All other ways are dead-ends.

This is why Elder Boyd K. Packer said, "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than talking about behavior will improve behavior." (Washed Clean, General Conference 1997) Dealing with the symptoms of guilt and shame do not truly address what we need. We all seek a "Mighty change of heart." We need our hearts to change, fundamentally, permanently, and absolutely. Covering it up or denying this need will never bring us peace and happiness. We need the Lord.

Once we have received this change, we can live wholeheartedly. Life in the Light is so much better than darkness. There is no more "halting between two opinions." We no longer feel any guilt or shame. We can give with our whole hearts. We can love with our whole souls. We can live life to the fullest extent with no regrets or losses. We have peace. We can feel pure joy without fear of losing it. We can truly be happy. This is the change we are all truly seeking! I hope Joe finds the Lord, and a real change of heart!