"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11)
Those who are immature divide people into classes and categories by what they see. They call some good and acceptable because of things they say or do, or by how they look, while others are rejected. Maturity, on the other hand, brings all things together. It is loving and accepting. It takes the good with the bad, wholeheartedly. This is grace.
As a child
Children are born not knowing the contrasts of the world, good and evil, strengths and weakness. They have to be taught, by precept and example, what is acceptable, and what is not. A child will accept whatever is taught to him. He doesn't see black or white, bond or free, Christian or Atheist, because he doesn't know the characteristics. At first, it's just people. As a child comes to know the contrasts of life his individual tastes start to change his vision. We call this "the terrible twos" (I always thought it was "the terrific twos") because the child begins to assert his own personality. He has rough edges. He is strong in some ways, and weak in others. This contrast gradually increases as we grow.
If weakness in a child is cause for rejection, the child will hide his weaknesses. This prevents him from growing up and becoming a man. The characteristic of children is insecurity because they learn to divide people within and without, meaning by individuals and groups. The world is black and white. The problem is that the child has this same contrast within himself. He has good and bad. He is what he sees, and thus becomes insecure in himself. He must accept the good and reject the bad. In doing so he rejects a part of himself. He is bad. He is evil. He must be rejected. He cannot be loved. This causes a great deal of insecurity.
Mirror, Mirror
"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." (1 Corinthians 13:12)
As we grow up and learn to hide our weaknesses and imperfections we may appear to be acceptable, but the problem is that they still exist, and are destructive to those around us. We can't see them because they are hidden from our view, but others see them, and we see them in others. Others mirror what we are inside, even the hidden parts. When we understand that concept we begin to look at the weaknesses in others differently -- as a blessing.
The immaturity and rough edges in the children of all ages is exactly the thing that helps us to grow for two reasons. First, childish behaviors are the mirror for us to see ourselves, what we have hidden, and hidden from, since childhood to avoid rejection, allowing us to deal with our weaknesses in a real way, taking them to God, who makes us strong.
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Ether 12:27)
In dealing with children, in loving them with all of their strengths and weaknesses, indeed, loving them for all of their perfect imperfections, we see ourselves in them and can begin to grow up. The childish, rude, irresponsible, and destructive behavior of others is the mirror we need to see ourselves and grow up. Before we learn to have Charity, the pure love of Christ, we can only see what we are so that which we see in others is ourselves they are our mirrors. This is the key to growth. If we take what we see in others, and apply it to ourselves we can know the ways we need to grow, and pray for grace.
Second, we learn grace.
Becoming a man
In the immature, weaknesses are dealt with in two ways. Ignoring them, or attacking them. We either pick at our parents, spouses, children or siblings, feeling the need to correct the imperfections, or we pretend they don't exist, trying to look at only the "good." In becoming a man we put away childish things, neither correcting, nor ignoring weaknesses.
Grace is when we take a person as a whole and love them, all of them. We don't parse out the parts we love, rejecting the parts we hate. We just love in entirety. This is not like "falling in love" where we ignore or neglect to see the weaknesses, seeing a person as "perfect." Instead, we see the whole person, warts and all, and take all her curves and edges into our hearts, not as a distasteful "I'll take the bitter because I love the sweet" but rather because we love the whole. Grace is so hard to learn. Few people have this gift that loves completely. It is a characteristic of God.
The grace of God
To become a man is to have grace, and to bring together. Indeed, the Lord Himself, about whom Pilate said, "Behold the man!" (John 19:5) performed the Atonement to bring together all that is in one. To bring all people together. To bring all things, virtue and vice, light and darkness, pleasure and pain, good and evil, together -- to make His Kingdom whole.
God has grace. He doesn't ignore evil; He doesn't pretend there are no weaknesses, nor does He attack or reject them. He loves us whole. He loves all we are. He loves our individuality. He loves our strengths and weaknesses. He does not divide us by saying, "I love this part of you, but hate that part." He loves the entire person, whatever we are. When we understand the love of God for us, we lose our insecurity. We don't have to reject what we are because He doesn't. We know we are encircled in the arms of His love, acceptable, accepted, loved with all His heart.
Grace for grace
"Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God;" (D&C 121:45)
Grace in life is loving God with all of our hearts, the bitter with the sweet. He is creator of all things. He created Jesus Christ, who loved enough to suffer innocently for all of God's children, and He created Satan, who brings pride and suffering. He loves Jesus. He loves Satan. He loves the Creator, and He loves the Destroyer. We are in the middle, making choices to become ourselves. We need the contrast. We need both sides to see ourselves and become what we want to be. We need to feel joy, and sorrow. We need to see it all, from the highest to the lowest, from the darkest to the lightest, in order for us to make our own decisions that bring us into our place and makes us whole. We possess grace when we take all that is in our lives, the strengths and the weaknesses, the pleasure as well as the pain, and love it -- that's when we love God.
No comments:
Post a Comment